Here you will find articles about the various kinds of attraction and how they draw people to one another. Attraction isn’t simplistic, and it doesn’t rely on one factor, but depends on how two people connect with each other. Some people don’t know what to do when they find someone attractive. Read more about how attraction works and what to do when you are attracted to a potential partner.
Attraction is the pull we feel toward another person. Whether it's romantic, sexual, physical, or emotional attraction, it's the same concept; you're magnetically drawn to another individual. Social psychology includes interpersonal attraction. It studies how people are drawn to one another, whether it's people of different sexes or the same sex. Attraction can happen to anyone and can present in many different ways. You may have heard the word "attraction" in different contexts; it doesn't always relate to a person. For example, tourist attractions. When someone references that phrase, it's about things that draw in travelers, such as the Eiffel tower in Paris. Tourist attractions are exciting to people, and there's something about them that pulls people to those things. Tourist attractions are different from attraction-attraction. Attraction-attraction relates to the way that people are drawn to each other, but attraction, in a general sense, is about that force and sense of excitement or electricity, regardless of the context.
The Different Kinds of Attraction
Sexual attraction is a common form of attraction that occurs when people are drawn to one another. It's based on sexual desire. You may fantasize about another person touching you or having sex with them. Sexual attraction can be extremely strong and may be based on pheromones in some respects. Synonyms for attraction can be desirability or appeal, and while these words are often affiliated with sex, that is not always what someone is referencing when they say that something's desirable or appealing. If someone says that they desire you, they may mean it in a sexual way, or they might mean it in a romantic way. Consent is extremely important when it comes to intimacy and sexual attraction. If you flirt with someone and they make it clear to you that they are not interested in you for whatever reason, it's important that you stop. Commenting on the level of sexual attraction that you feel a person has when they aren't comfortable with it is harassment, so listen if someone says, "no."
Romantic attraction might sound similar to sexual attraction, but it's not the same thing. You want to be in a romantic partnership with someone and are committed to being with them. It is different than wanting to be someone's friend. When you're romantically attracted to someone, it doesn't automatically refer to wanting to have sex with them, though for many people, the two go together. You want to have deep conversations and share your life together, and there may be a sexual component to this, but not always. Those who are asexual but not aromantic, for example, may experience little to no sexual desire despite being 100% invested in a romantic connection. If someone is not romantically attracted to you and they have made that clear, that is another case where you should stop communicating your level of attraction or stop making moves on a person. When romantic attraction doesn't go both ways, it can be very uncomfortable. If someone doesn't like you romantically, it doesn't mean that somethings wrong with you, or that anything is wrong with them, for that matter.
Physical attraction is when you feel attracted to someone aesthetically. You may think that they're beautiful, glowing, or handsome, for example, and are drawn to their appearance. This is often paired with romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or both, but it can stand alone as well. For example, you might see a celebrity or someone walking down the street and think that they're physically attractive without necessarily wanting to date them. Some people need physical attraction in a romantic relationship, whereas others find it less important.
When you're emotionally attracted to another person, you feel connected to them, and you like the way they think about things. You like the way they express their feelings, and you care about their emotions. You're likely to have emotional attraction not only to your partner but with friends and family members, too. You want to be around people that get you and that you feel emotionally attracted to because you'll feel a sense of care for one another. You understand them, and they understand you. Emotional attraction is the glue that holds the vast majority of relationships together.
Attraction issues with your partner
If you and your partner are attracted to each other, there may be no issues in your relationship, but attraction doesn't make you immune to the ups and downs that can come with a romantic partnership. Maybe, you have a strong emotional bond, sexual attraction, and physical attraction toward one another, but hurdles such as frequent arguments or parenting disparities are presenting themselves in your connection. You can talk about any struggles that arise in your romantic partnership in couples counseling, whether they're related to attraction or something else. Search the network of counselors at Regain for direct support and refer to the articles in this section for information about attraction and attraction-related issues.