Exploring Your Preferences: What Do You Find Physically Attractive In A Man?

Updated November 23, 2019

Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault

What Is Physical Attractiveness?

Physical attractiveness is about how you respond to someone's physical features and what you like about those features. We've all had that moment where we look at someone and are in awe of what we see. Many different factors allow us to find someone attractive. Some of those factors are related to what society tells us that we should seek out or find attractive in a person, whereas others are related strictly to our own instinctual and individual preferences. Physical attractiveness is subjective; it's about you're drawn to and what you find alluring and beautiful. For example, your friend might think that a particular movie star is extremely hot, but you can't see it.

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On the other hand, you might think that your favorite musician is very attractive, and your friend may not be into him at all. Since everyone has a different definition of what it means to be aesthetically attractive, you're likely to find yourself exploring your preferences at some point or another and asking yourself what you find attractive in a man. What are you drawn to as an individual without anyone else's influence or opinion? In this article, we're going to talk about different aspects of attraction and how to understand yourself and what you're into a little bit better.

Types

Many people have a "type" when it comes to physical attraction. Some people might be drawn to a person with blonde hair and blue eyes, whereas another person might be drawn to someone with brown eyes and darker skin. Some people swoon the moment that they see a redhead, and others will do the same when they see someone who has a particular sense of fashion or style. For example, you might be attracted to "nerdy" guys with glasses, you might be into sporty guys who dress in athletic wear or athleisure, or you might be into emo guys with an alternative way of dressing. Your "type" might not just relate to the way that a person looks; it could also be the way that they carry themselves or the way that they behave. Think about it; in high school, were you attracted mainly to the funny guys and the class clowns? Or were you more into the free-spirited artsy times? Sometimes, people give off a vibe that you like. Some people have a specific "type" that they tend to stick to when looking for a partner, but others are attracted to a wide variety of people. If you've stuck to one kind of person in the past, it's important to note that you don't have to pursue only one type of man. If you're in the dating world right now, it might be good to explore and talk to a lot of different "kinds" of people. You might be surprised by where you find a perfect match.

What Do You Find Physically Attractive In A Man?

Physical attraction isn't always obvious. Sometimes, you're into a person, and you have no idea why; all that you know if that you are. Body language could be a big part of your attraction to this individual. They could have body language that makes them seem open, gentle, and friendly, which makes you feel at ease and makes you want to talk to them more. They could be mysterious, quiet, and reserved, which might catch your interest and draw you in, too.

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Another thing to remember is the role that scent plays in attraction. You might be drawn to specific fragrances or brands of cologne, but it could also have to do with something a little bit more primal like pheromones. Pheromones are hormones that both men and women release. We find some pheromones attractive and other pheromones not-so-attractive, but this isn't something that happens at random. You're drawn to certain pheromones based on what partner would be the best match for you to produce healthy offspring with. Scent can be an important part of a first impression, but it's only one part of it.

First Impressions: Listening To Your Intuition

First impressions matter; your initial intuition about a person can tell you a lot. Sometimes, we second guess ourselves and our intuition, but if you have an initial reaction to someone, it can be good to trust that, or at least to let it guide you. Sometimes, you'll have an automatic reaction where you like someone and find yourself attracted to them. Other times, you'll get a vibe from someone that makes you uncomfortable and nervous. Depending on the circumstances, that could be a sign that you don't want to ignore. Sexual attraction involves a lot of different factors. It could be that you're attracted to a man's body or face, it could be that you're attracted to their voice or the way that they hold themselves, or it could be something else. Not everyone is attracted to the same things, and attraction varies greatly from person to person. Not everyone is attracted to every person, and that's okay. That's one of the things that is so great about human diversity; there is someone for everyone.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Society has a standard of beauty, and it tries to tell us what is and is not beautiful. It can dictate that men need to be muscular, that they need to be tall, or that to "be a man," you must look or present yourself in a certain way. Men are told that they need to be stoic and not show emotion and that that's what is perceived as strong or attractive, but in reality, that's not true. Men can be sensitive and emotional. Many people find men who are in tune with their emotions to be, in fact, extremely attractive. It doesn't just have to do with how a person looks in terms of their eyes or face. It could be about their demeanor, body language, or their sense of humor. The attraction is very individual, and despite what society says, there's no objective standard of beauty.

In addition to telling men how they should look or act, the media often tries to send us a message about what we should look for in a man. We might see magazines, movies, or TV shows that depict certain men as more attractive than others, for example. Social influence also plays a huge role. Have you ever shown your friend a photo of someone that you're interested in and had them respond in an unkind or unexpected way? Hopefully not, but this is something that happens sometimes, and it's unfortunate because people have so much to offer aside from how they look. It's important to explore what you find attractive in a person in every sense - physically, emotionally, behaviorally, and so on. No one else can determine that for you, and it's certainly not okay for anyone to make fun of your preferences.

Beauty And Objectivity

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You may look at a couple and not understand why they find each other attractive. That's because beauty is entirely subjective. There is no objective standard of beauty. You might find someone attractive or beautiful, and I don't have that reaction. Attraction isn't something that you can rationalize. It's a gut instinct, and you don't always understand why you find someone attractive, or the opposite. You may have difficulty conceptualizing what makes you repulsed by a particular person. Maybe your friends find a certain celebrity cute, and you don't see the appeal. You find them to be boring or repulsive. Attraction isn't logical; it's biological and instinctive. You love who you love, and you are drawn to certain people. It's a matter of spending time looking inward and finding out what matters to you, and who you believe is beautiful.

The Role Of Sexual Attraction In Relationships

To be in a relationship, you need to feel a connection with someone. Often connected with love is sexual attraction. There are many different sexualities and identities that a person could have, and it's partially because of this that every relationship is going to be different. Some people are highly sexual, whereas other people are on the other side of that spectrum and are asexual. The connection that you feel with somebody can be related to the sexual attraction that you feel towards them, and that could involve aesthetic traits, or it could be that you feel physically drawn to that person in another way. Believe it or not, even physical attractiveness itself doesn't just have to do with looks. Kindness and personality play a role in physical attraction, as well.

Physical Attractiveness And Behavior

Have you noticed that a person becomes more or less physically attractive to you (without changing their appearance) as you get to know them better over time? There have been studies that explain that phenomenon where people looked at yearbook photos and made judgments about physical attractiveness. Participants looked at photos of their classmates and rated them in terms of physical attractiveness. The more they liked the people in the photos as people, the more physically attractive they found them, proving that there's a connection between physical attraction and how you feel about people in ways that exist more underneath the surface. A lot of the time, finding a man physically attractive has to do less with how he looks and more with who he is inside. His personality shines through, and he is appealing to you. You want to get to know him better based on who is he, and how he carries himself. Sometimes people are impressed and attracted to someone based upon how kind the person is, and that makes them appealing. Attraction is variable and has many different components beyond what the human eye can see.

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Working On Attraction Issues In Therapy

You might struggle to understand your issues with attraction or sexuality. Maybe you have a hard time connecting with potential partners. Perhaps you are attracted to people who are toxic to you. You could struggle with codependent relationships. There are many issues with attraction that can come up. That's where connecting with a therapist can help. Therapy is a safe space to talk about issues with attraction or intimacy. Online therapy is an excellent place to explore what you find attractive in a person. Search the network of counselors here at Regain and find someone that you can talk to about issues related to attraction, sexuality, and your romantic life. If you're in a relationship, ReGain also offers couples counseling, and individual therapy. With couples counseling, you and your partner can talk about attraction or any other topics that play a role in your relationship with each other. You can also explore issues with attraction with an individual therapist. Regardless of what you choose, understanding your sexuality, and what draws you to others is an important part of life. You will benefit from exploring these issues in therapy.


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