Exploring Your Preferences: What Do You Find Physically Attractive In A Man?

Updated October 3, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Many different factors can allow us to find someone attractive. Some of those factors can be about their physical appearance, some might be about personality traits or qualities, and some might be fairly hard to pinpoint. Physical attractiveness is subjective; it's about what you're drawn to and what you find alluring, and that can be very different from someone else. Preferences can vary widely from one person to the next. If you’re interested in further exploring your preferences and determining what you find physically attractive in a man, read on for a few thoughts to consider.

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What is attractive to you physically in a man

Physical attraction isn't always obvious. What makes a man attractive to someone else may not always be their physical appearance. Sometimes, you might be very attracted to a person without having a clear idea of why. Below, we’ll explore a few other dynamics that might impact your physical attraction to someone.

Beyond physical appearance

Thanks to evolutionary psychology and personal experience and preferences, a range of factors can impact physical attraction besides this person’s appearance—such as personality, body language, and scent, among other things. For instance, a person’s body language could be a big part of your attraction to this individual. They could have body language that makes them seem open, gentle, and friendly, making you feel at ease and making you want to talk to them more. Or they could be mysterious, quiet, and reserved, which might catch your interest and draw you in, too. 

Getty/Vadym Pastukh

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Society has a standard of beauty, and it tries to tell us what is and is not beautiful and what women find attractive. It can be said that men need to be muscular, that they need to be tall, or that to "be a man," you must act or present yourself in a certain way to be physically attractive. For instance, men are often told that they need to be stoic and not show emotion and that that's what is perceived as strong or attractive. But this narrative can be harmful and untrue. Men can be sensitive and emotional, and many people are attracted to men who are in tune with their emotions. Attraction can be very individual, preferences can vary widely from person to person, and despite what society says, there's no objective version of beauty. For example, some people may be exclusively attracted to older men whereas others are only drawn to men who can make them laugh. 

It can be important to explore what you personally find attractive in a person in every sense—physically, emotionally, behaviorally, and so on. No one else can determine that for you, and you are entitled to your own unique opinion and preferences, which may differ widely from someone else’s—and that’s alright. You love who you love, and you can be drawn to certain people. It's often a matter of spending time looking inward and finding out what matters to you and who you find beautiful.

The role of sexual attraction

For some people, another element of physical attraction can be sexual attraction. There are many different sexualities and identities, so this can vary widely from person to person and relationship to relationship. Some people may be highly sexual, and others can experience little or no sexual attraction towards individuals of any gender and identify as asexual. So, for some people, part of the physical attraction they feel to someone else could also be sexual attraction, but this is not the case for everyone. 

Physical attractiveness and behavior

Have you ever noticed that a person can become more or less attractive to you (without changing their appearance) as you get to know them better over time? Sometimes, finding a man you're attracted to physically has less to do with how he looks and more with who he is inside—or, at least, it’s often a combination of the two. His personality shines through, and he is appealing to you. You want to get to know him better based on who he is and how he carries himself. Sometimes, people are impressed and attracted to someone based on how kind the person is, how funny they are, or some other trait that has seemingly nothing to do with appearance. Attraction is variable and can have many different components beyond what the human eye can see.

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Exploring attraction in therapy

Figuring out your preferences and what you’re attracted to can be confusing sometimes. If you would like support as you navigate these and other concerns related to attraction, sexuality, dating, and relationships, online counseling can help. Research has shown online counseling to be an effective option for a range of relationship concerns, with one such study demonstrating its effectiveness in improving both relationship and individual functioning

For many people, discussing topics of attraction, dating, and sexuality can often feel very vulnerable and personal. Some people might feel more comfortable discussing these topics in a place where they already feel at ease. With online therapy, you can meet with a therapist from wherever you have internet, including the comfort of home. 

Counselor reviews

Read on for some reviews of Regain counselors.

“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation, he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”

"My experience with Priscilla has been immensely helpful in better understanding myself and providing me with the tools to see my life and relationships with more clarity and compassion."

Takeaway

When it comes to physical attraction, many different factors can be at play. You might be attracted to a person because of their appearance, body language, scent, personality, values, and a whole mix of other things. Preferences can vary widely from person to person, and attractiveness is subjective. For further support in exploring your preferences and finding long-term satisfaction, you can connect with an online counselor for help.

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