Dating Attractive Girls Makes Me Nervous: How To Be More Confident

Updated September 15, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

Dating a girl you find very attractive can be exciting, but it may also make you feel nervous at times—especially if you don’t feel particularly confident in yourself. Some people are self-conscious, and their doubts about themselves can start to become more apparent when they're dating someone they find very attractive. If this is something you’re experiencing, there are things you can do to help you feel more confident and help reduce some of the nerves you feel around this person. Read on for a few tips.

Getty
Want To Feel More Confident? Counseling Can Help

Tips For Boosting Your Confidence

There are many different things you can do that can help you to feel better about yourself. Read on to explore a few ideas to try to boost your confidence levels:

  1. Realize That She Likes You For A Reason

Have you considered that there is a reason that this person has agreed to go out with you? You might be very nervous about the prospect of dating her, but she chose to talk to you and wants to hang out. In all likelihood, there are several reasons why she is interested. She might find you to be very attractive yourself even though you're feeling this lack of confidence; she might also find your humor very charming, or your intellect very attractive. When you realize that this person sees something special in you, it may feel easier to feel a bit more confident in yourself. Consider that she probably wouldn't be dating you or agreeing to go on a date with you if she weren’t also interested in you—acknowledge that, and try to give yourself some credit.  

  1. Go On Dates That Make You Feel Comfortable

If the thought of dating an attractive girl like this makes you feel uncomfortably nervous, then you might want to consider where you're going on a date. Not everyone feels natural when going out to a fancy restaurant or romantic venue, and that’s perfectly fine. If you feel more comfortable in a more casual environment, then you might want to suggest something along those lines. You could take her to your favorite dive bar, or go try a fun activity together like bowling or mini golf. If you feel at ease in a certain environment, then you'll probably have an easier time talking to her, and once the conversation starts to flow, your nervousness may start to subside. 

  1. Get To Know Her Better

Getting to know her better may also help to reduce your nerves. Many of us have a tendency to build up someone we’re attracted to in our minds, especially when we’re first meeting them. We might have this intimidating image of them in our minds that only makes us more nervous. By trying to get to know her on a deeper level, you’ll be able to see different sides of her besides her appearance. As you connect on different things, you may find that you have a lot in common, that you can make each other laugh, or that you simply enjoy each other’s presence—all of which may help to reduce your nerves. If you can spend a bit of time talking to her and learning about her, then you'll likely start to feel more at ease. Familiarity often leads to comfort, and you may find that the nerves start to dissipate if you keep deepening the connection. 

Getty/AnnaStills
  1. Cultivate Healthy Habits

If you are feeling very nervous around this attractive person, you may consider if there are ways that you might be able to feel more confident in yourself and your own physical appearance. There are many ways you can boost your self-esteem, but a big one you can try is to incorporate more healthy habits, such as regular exercise, a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, meditation, and gratitude. In fact, research has shown that physical activity is both directly and indirectly associated with self-esteem. Incorporating a regular exercise routine may help you to feel more confident, and you can try a wide range of exercises to find something that you like—whether that’s swimming, running, walking, yoga, soccer, dancing, etc. 

  1. Try Hanging Out In A Group

Hanging out in a group may also help boost your confidence levels. You probably feel natural and at-ease around your closest friends, so being around them may help you to feel more comfortable and more like yourself, rather than being overcome with nerves. So, you might invite her to hang out in a group setting at some point. It may help you feel more relaxed to have familiar faces around, and it might also feel less overwhelming when it’s not just the two of you alone together. You can still spend a lot of time with her in this group setting, but you may find that it takes some of the pressure off, and you may feel less nervousness when you do other one-on-one dates, too. 

Getty/jeffbergen
Want To Feel More Confident? Counseling Can Help
  1. Remember That Online Couples Counseling Is An Option

Remember that online couples counseling is an option as well. There might be some concerns in your relationship that have not been addressed. You could be feeling nervous about certain things, and you might want to work through them individually or as a couple. With online therapy, you can do counseling with your partner or you can do individual counseling on your own, which may be helpful in this situation. 

Plus, research has shown online therapy to be an effective option for improving self-esteem.

Takeaway

It can be thrilling to start dating someone you find very attractive, but it may also make you feel very nervous, especially if you don’t feel particularly confident about yourself. There are many things you can do to help you feel more confident. If this is something you relate to, you can try some of the tips above to help you boost your confidence and reduce those nerves. For further support, you can meet with an online therapist. 

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.