How To Stop Liking Someone When You Are In A Relationship
Cheating to most people is equivalent to a betrayal of trust. It is an inherently selfish decision that involves sacrificing a relationship's integrity on the altar of inappropriate desires. It’s no surprise that 40% of relationships end after an affair.
When you start becoming attached or attracted to someone else besides your partner, to the point where you start developing romantic feelings for that person, the chances are that you may end up having an affair with them.
Tips For How To Stop Liking Someone When You Are In A Relationship
- There Is Nothing Wrong With You
First off, if you have feelings for someone other than your partner, don’t be dismayed: there’s nothing wrong with you. A study found that 1 out of 5 people in relationships have feelings for a third party. Of course, while it’s reasonable to be attracted to other people, it is a different matter when you choose to act on that attraction.
More than anything, the decision to remain faithful to your partner must be sincere and absolute, and you must have no doubts as regards the reason you want to stop having feelings for someone else. Though it is possible that your partner may be complicit in making you have these feelings, either by being inattentive to your needs or due to a health challenge, but only you can determine the course of action to take as a result of how you feel. Thus, it is important to know how to stop thinking about your crush especially when you have a stable and happy relationship.
- Acknowledge Your Feelings
When trying to solve a problem, the first thing to do is acknowledge that a problem exists. When you try to get over someone, the best way to begin is to confront your feelings instead of pretending you don’t have these feelings. When you can acknowledge your feelings, it means you no longer wish to be bound by them and that you are no longer afraid to deal with them.
Suppressed emotions have the tendency to become intense over some time, which can have a crippling impact on your physical and psychological health. In other words, repressed emotions don’t make the feeling disappear; it just increases your inner emotional experience of the thought or feeling you are trying to suppress. Some of the adverse effects of repressed emotions include stress-related illness, anxiety, and depression.
- Consider The Consequences
When you are in a committed long-term relationship, your decisions cease being solely about what you want. You would often have to factor in your partner's feelings, especially when it comes to situations that may jeopardize your relationship's integrity. If you happen to have children with your partner, you may also need to consider how your actions will affect them.
Think about your crush's implications on this guy or girl and how it could harm your relationship should those feelings result in something you will most likely regret or feel guilty about. If you have no real intentions of ever cheating on your partner or ending your relationship, then there is probably no reason to have a crush on this guy, or girl, in the first place.
- Don’t Compare Your Partner
Your partner will never be perfect, but comparing them to the other person could magnify your partner’s flaws and inadequacies to the point where the idea of cheating on them seems justifiable. Think about the reasons you fell in love with your partner, the lovely memories you have, and how much they mean to you. You could even write about their most endearing attributes to remind yourself of how special they are.
If you feel your partner no longer possesses some of the physical attributes that made them attracted to you at the start of your relationship, think of the possibility of them cheating on you for the same reason and how you would feel about that. The best compliment you can give your partner is to respect them, but when you start judging them by unrealistic standards influenced by your feelings for someone else, you may begin to lose a sense of your partner’s worth.
- Distance Yourself From The Person
When you start liking someone, it’s likely because you spend a lot of time around them. Limit your interactions with this person as best as possible, refrain from sending messages, or engage with them on social media. If you cannot find the emotional and mental resolve to avoid them, it may be hard to resist their sexual advances. But just as recovering addicts have to develop the will to suppress their urges, you have to cultivate an attitude of restraint to stop liking someone you don’t want to. This involves finding ways to stop talking to them.
It can be difficult to stop talking to the person if you are colleagues at work, but with 85% of affairs reportedly starting from the workplace, this is one of the more effective ways to stop liking this person. It doesn’t get any easier if the person is a client, a friend, an ex, or the new neighbor who lives next door. In this instance, it is essential to keep your interactions strictly formal and avoid personal conversations. You don’t necessarily have to be hostile or rude in your approach. Still, set emotional and personal boundaries that firmly establish certain gestures or remarks from them are no longer going to be tolerated by you.
- Spend More Time With Your Partner
When was the last time you went on a date with your partner? You can arrange a surprise romantic dinner, go to a concert with them, or agree to see a game with them if they happen to enjoy watching sport. Find creative ways to spend time alone with your partner and rekindle your romance. According to a recent study, investing in your relationship goes a long way to improve your health, and few things are better than the happiness that comes from being with someone you love.
The more quality time you spend in your partner's company, the less opportunity you will get to fantasize about the other person. Let your partner be the priority in your mind. Keep your phone away if it would cause a distraction or impede your ability to have meaningful conversations with your partner during these moments. Treat these bonding sessions as a way to renew your commitment to your partner and let their affection remind you of why you need to hold on to them.
- Put an End to Thinking About The Other Person
This may seem like it is easier said than done, but what matters is that it can be done. One of the first techniques to doing this is to think about other people—your family, friends, partner, children—and other things—work, your favorite meal, a memorable childhood experience. Replace the discomforting thought of this person with powerful ones that give you peace of mind. The aim is not to forget the person, but to reduce their importance in your mind.
If you noticed that certain situations trigger this person's thoughts, write them down, and then find ways to either avoid or redefine what those situations mean to you. These situations may come in the form of words, images, songs, mannerisms, and sometimes even a particular place. When you can think about these things without the other person coming to mind during the process, it makes it difficult for you to see them the way you used to.
- Talk To Your Partner
Before you do this, think about how your partner is likely to deal with the knowledge and proceed with caution. If your partner is likely to react strongly or become resentful, it may help you figure out if you should continue being in that relationship. It may seem counterproductive to lose your relationship in a bid to save it, but being in an unhealthy relationship will only serve to make you think more of the other person.
A better way to approach the subject is to ask your partner in a light-hearted manner if there’s anyone they have a crush on. This may reveal their stance on such matters, which could provide an insight into how they would react to your own feelings. Communication is an essential part of a relationship. Having a partner that allows you to express yourself without judging freely can empower motivation and be honest with your feelings. If that’s the situation in your relationship, then being open with your partner could provide you with the clarity of mind to no longer think about someone else.
If you need more help putting an end to liking someone, you may need to speak to a professional therapist or relationship expert about your struggles. ReGain is committed to helping you nurture and maintain healthy relationships that improve your mental and emotional well-being.
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“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
FAQs - Frequently Asked Questions
How do I stop liking my crush?
When you have a crush, and like someone, it is not always easy to just stop liking them. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone else and have a crush, it is usually just harmless and temporary if you don’t act on it. But do not beat yourself up; it is normal sometimes to have a crush even if you are dating someone else. Acknowledge that you have these feelings but try to invest more time in your current relationship. Try to cut contact with your crush, sometimes out of sight, out of mind. If you feel you can’t stop liking your crush and choose to act on these feelings, cheating. Cheating is a huge betrayal of trust and would probably deeply hurt your partner.
How to stop liking someone so much?
Sometimes we like someone so much, and we really want to stop liking them. If you are in a relationship with someone else, that would definitely be why you would want to stop liking a person. Unfortunately, there is no easy, simple way to stop liking someone. First, acknowledge these feelings so you can finally stop them. When we think about someone or something so much, we often romanticize it and make them bigger in our heads than they actually are. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you’re pining over someone else, it may because we always want what we can’t have. You may not actually like him as much as you think you do. Sometimes we like someone so much because they don’t like us back and it becomes about the chase. Do you really like this person so much, or do you want him because you can’t be with him? There are ways to stop liking someone by focusing on other things in your life. Put more energy into your partner and the relationship you have with them. It is easy to get sucked into life, and it makes your relationship stale. It may be time to show your relationship a little love and rekindle the romance. This will surely help you stop liking someone else. Remove contact with the person that you like so much. If you follow him on social media, mute his posts or unfollow him. It’s easier said than done, but the less you see a person, the less you think about them. Eventually, you will stop liking this person so much.
How do you stop having feelings for someone?
There are many reasons that you would stop having feelings for someone. Sometimes we stop liking someone after we really get to know them, and they are different than we thought they were. Other times we like someone, and we don’t want to like them anymore for many reasons. Maybe they aren’t treating you how you’d like to be treated, but you can’t stop having feelings. Possibly you want a relationship, and they don’t. You want to stop having feelings to your heart. Sometimes you are in a relationship, and you start to have feelings for someone else. You may feel guilty for having those feelings and want to stop them. Remove that person from your life and focus on other things or your current relationship. If you’re having difficulties getting over someone, it could be beneficial to get support from a therapist.
Can you suddenly stop liking someone?
There is always a turning point when you realize you stop liking someone. Sometimes something unpleasant will happen that really turns you off. Other times it could be many little things that make you stop liking someone. It is possible that subconsciously, or slowly, you stopped liking this person earlier than you even realize. If you’re in a relationship and you realize you suddenly stopped liking them, it may be time to accept that and have an honest conversation with your partner about the future of your relationship. It is easy to get sucked into the comfortability of a relationship. Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean you’re meant to stay together. It could be time to accept that the relationship has come to an end.
How do you tell if my crush is thinking about me?
Of course, we can’t read people’s minds, but there are signs that your crush may be thinking about you. Maybe he randomly messages you and asks you if you’ve seen a new tv show. He may be finding an excuse to reach out to you. He may a video tutorial with you about something you mentioned you wanted to learn—little things like this show that you are on his mind.
How do you tell if your crush likes you?
You may be wondering if the guy you have a crush on likes you. If he hasn’t outright told you, there may be subtle signs that he’s into you. If he finds excuses to text you or asks you to hang out, there’s a good chance he likes you. When you’re together, if he seems to touch you often accidentally, stares at you a lot, or is always laughing with you, he might be smitten.
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