How To Tell If You Are Attractive: 9 Ways You’re More Attractive Than You Think

By: Tanisha Herrin

Updated October 21, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

Although it is common to wonder how others perceive your physical appearance, remember that you do not need their approval to be happy with your appearance or your general self-confidence. In fact, you may possess qualities you do not even personally notice that contribute to your overall attractiveness for some others. 

Moreover, attraction does not have to be about your physical appearance. A large part of your appeal plays into your behaviors and the way you interact with others. There are so many parts of what makes you a good person that many people can’t see by just observing how you look, so try not to put too much pressure purely on your physical features. 

Getting To Know Your Attractiveness

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Many societies tend to place a lot of value on physical appearance because attraction is a large part of successful relationships. This may be more true for some couples than others, but often non-physical factors influence attraction as well. 

On a personal level, it is common to be curious about what others think of your appearance. The element of attraction can play a significant role in confidence, how others view you, and how you see yourself. When considering if you are attractive, you'll need to be honest about yourself, including how you look and view your physical features.

In being honest, you can discover how you find yourself attractive, and most importantly, who you would like to be in a relationship with. We criticize ourselves often from how our skin looks to how our clothes fit. Many of us are used to being hard on ourselves. A personal opinion of yourself outweighs an opinion from another. Assessing your attractiveness is a great way to achieve self-awareness while learning the type of people you're attracting.

9 Ways To Notice Your Attractiveness

When considering signs you're attractive, here is what you should notice:

  1. You get compliments about your smile. A genuine smile shows self-confidence, and it is a natural way to make your face glow. Smiles help you feel grateful for those who have helped you get to where you are right now.

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  1. You don't get many compliments. People assume getting compliments is an automatic sign of being attractive, but this is not always true. People may not bother to compliment you if they think you already know you look good, or others might feel they are giving you too much attention. So if you don't get complimented, don't assume you're not attractive.
  2. You grab people's attention and make them stare. You may be wearing something bringing attention to your body or physical characteristics others find pleasing to the eye. 
  3. A person's behavior seems strange, which may be the case because they find you attractive.
  4. People gravitate toward you. Some people have no shame letting someone else know they find them attractive by hitting on them. If you find it annoying, tell the person that you feel uncomfortable. Your boundaries are more important than someone thinking you look attractive and letting them get away with disrespectful behavior.
  5. People send you messages or contact you. Even if you're in a relationship or have a spouse, you may get messages from people on social media despite your status. While you can take these messages as flattery, focus on your relationship with your spouse and ignore texts or messages from strangers concerning your looks. 

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  1. People may display positive or negative attitudes toward you. It may signal jealousy, insecurities, resentment, or they like you, and it's their natural way of showing it. Try not to take their attitude seriously, but let them know if their behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. Resist internalizing negative feedback but do not hesitate to report or feel that such behavior borders on harassment or discrimination. 
  2. People will start a conversation about anything to talk to you. They may bring up any subject from the weather to what you are wearing, and it may not be anything related to their interests as it could be an excuse to talk to you. 
  3. People are caught off guard when they hear you talk down about yourself. Others may see you as this self-confident individual with everything going for them. As such, people may be irritated you sound as if you have low self-esteem, but what you think is a problem that could be imagined in your head.

Forms of attraction are not just physical features. People who are comfortable in their skin doing what they want in life is something many find attractive, but the concept itself may not be something you think about when considering what makes you beautiful. 

Living the life you want and accomplishing your goals shows you know how to take action, and you're willing to take risks. Looking beyond your insecurities not only encourages you to learn more about yourself but may help you focus on personal attributes you didn't know were valuable in others.

Why You Should Believe You're Attractive

Because we underestimate our abilities or put ourselves down, humans have a poor record of self-assessment.

According to a Harvard study, although 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only around 15% undergo self-assessment. Although Harvard’s study is done within the context of the workforce, their results can also be compared with people’s everyday lives. 

Without understanding yourself as a person, you may be overlooking certain qualities that should have a bigger impact, such as respecting the other person’s time. However, suppose you can acknowledge which fields you need to improve and believe that you can be a better person. In that case, you are already on your way to becoming both physically and mentally attractive. 

Believe you are enough. Believe what you have to offer and things you like about yourself are more valuable than insecurities. 

How To Feel And Accept Your Unique Attractiveness

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Feeling attractive and understanding how to accept yourself as beauty comes from within. It requires self-reflection by assessing yourself and where you are in your life. It may also require what you want to achieve when it comes to relationships. A few of our suggestions on assessing yourself include:

  • Avoid comparing yourself to what society says is beautiful. 
  • Think about your relationship and how your partner views you. When you're fond of each other and accept one another, it brings a level of attractiveness that impacts you. The person you're in a relationship with should help you see yourself in the best light. 
  • Try not to focus so much on yourself. You'll be more self-critical. Encourage yourself to approach others to improve your social skills. It will help reduce feelings of insecurity while encouraging you to be comfortable with yourself. 



  • Think about your body and what it has accomplished. Men and women have different views on what they consider attractive when it comes to body type. You can transform and shape your body guided by your actions. Consider your accomplishments and what you want to achieve.
  • Keep critical thoughts in check and replace them with things that highlight your self-image. Give attention to other areas of yourself you may have unnoticed. What makes you desirable and exciting, and what are things you want others to know about you? 
  • Wear clothes that make you feel good. If you have a favorite color or particular style you feel good in, it makes you approachable with a natural glow. You're more likely to be at ease with yourself while standing out.
  • Accept that you're getting older and embrace it. Some forms of self-consciousness come from the change that occurs as we age. Learn to accept those changes. 
  • Don't assume attractiveness; rather, focus on your life purpose, what your life means, and how your existence contributes to your happiness more than how you look.

Signs Of strong physical attraction may start by recognizing what makes a person attractive on the inside. Understanding the ways you are attractive involves learning more about yourself and what others value in you. Talk about your feelings and why you feel unattractive with someone you can trust, such as a close friend or counselor specializing in couple's therapy, to get to the bottom of your thoughts so you can see and feel the natural beauty you possess.

Knowing your attractiveness includes believing you are and assessing what makes you appealing to others. ReGain also includes dozens of other articles and resources to help you understand how to be your best self. Be proactive in building your self-image to be happy and accepting of who you are from the inside out.


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