Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn, LMFT, MA
What is engagement?
The definition of engagement in the English dictionary is "a formal agreement to get married." If the word is used in the context of marriage, it differs from the definition that is used for a speaking engagement. If someone says "engagement-engagement," they're likely referring to the commitment to get married to another person. When someone asks another person to marry them, and the person says yes, they are considered an engaged couple. Typically, when someone asks, "will you marry me?" they present an engagement ring with the question. There's no right or wrong way to go about engagement. An engagement will look different for every couple in a variety of ways.
Why do people get engaged?
People get engaged because they ultimately want to get married. It is an exciting time, and if you've ever been around someone who's announced their engagement, you know that. Of course, when you want to marry someone, you need time to plan the wedding. That is what happens while a person is engaged. They may take this time to show off their engagement ring, pick a venue, and invite their friends and family to the upcoming ceremony. A couple may hire a wedding planner, decide on decorations, and choose wedding apparel. How elaborate a wedding will be is unique to every pair of fiancés. The same is true for engagement. Engagement may be an extravagant act for some, but others prefer a simpler approach. If you're hoping to get engaged to your partner, choose an approach that works for them. Make it something special, and make sure that it suits their personality. The moment you become engaged is a moment that both of you will remember forever, and it is a story that you'll talk about for the rest of your lives.
How long do people stay engaged before they get married?
The period of time that two people are engaged before they get married depends on the couple. Some people be engaged for a couple of months, whereas others stay engaged for a few years. It is all about what the couple wants and what each person needs. There are many factors that go into the length of an engagement or how long people wait to get married. Engagement and marriage are special, and neither needs to be rushed. Don't let societal pressure change your mind or make you go faster than you want to. This is up to you and your spouse. Take the time to prepare for married life and plan the wedding that you want. You can even talk to a therapist during this time to talk about your future as a married couple.
I don't like the person my friend is engaged to - what do I do?
If your friend announced their engagement recently, and you don't like their partner, you may find yourself in a predicament. As much as you want to speak up, your friend has to make the ultimate decision. It is difficult to hold back your feelings when it comes to something like this, but you can't change a person's mind when it comes to love. However, if this person is in danger and you feel the need to intervene, it's essential to keep that person safe. Don't put them in the situation where they're at risk of future harm.
What if you're having trouble in your engagement?
If you're having trouble in your relationship, with your fiancé, or with a spouse, it's important to seek relationship counseling. Relationship counseling can prepare you for marriage, help you work through problems in your relationship, and more. You can also talk to an individual counselor about any issues in your romantic partnership or family issues. Search the network of online counselors and therapists at ReGain.com and find someone who works for you. Speaking to a counselor about your engagement is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is a responsible way to ensure an emotionally healthy future.