The Right Pre Marriage Classes Could Keep Your Marriage Intact
By: Samantha Dewitt
Updated November 25, 2019
Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Dutil
Are you ready to get married? Chances are that you think you are. But if you haven't gone through pre-marriage classes, you may not know as much as you should. You want to make sure that you and your partner know each other as well as possible before you tie the knot. That means that you need to talk about a lot of different things, including your beliefs, your feelings about different things, and a whole lot more. In fact, anything from who should be responsible for specific chores around the house to what will happen if you get a divorce will be necessary to discuss. With pre-marriage classes, you're going to have the ability to increase your chances of keeping your marriage going strong a whole lot longer. That's because these types of classes are going to help you with all those tough conversations.
What Are Pre Marriage Classes?
Pre-marriage classes are all about helping you and your partner get to know each other even better. They're about helping you plan your life together and making sure that you know what to expect from each other and yourselves. Not only that, but they're also about helping you figure out how you resolve problems as they come up and a whole lot more. You want to create a strong relationship, and you want to make sure you're prepared for anything that might happen long before it does. That means taking care of the good things and bad things. It means getting a better look at who your partner is as a whole person.
You may find out a lot of different things about your partner and yourself. The idea isn't to make you change your mind about getting married. Instead, the idea is to make sure that you're going into the marriage with your eyes wide open and prepared for what's going to come. Sure, there are always going to be surprised, but the more you know before you jump in, the better the chances that your relationship is going to be successful and you and your partner are going to be happy for the rest of your lives together. That's the whole point of the marriage after all, right?
These classes could take place in several different ways. For one thing, you can attend in-person classes that are either just you and your partner or that include several different couples. Classes with more than just the two of you can be great because they allow you to talk with other people going through the same things that you are. They're also going to let you get more ideas about things that you should talk about and areas where you might differ in your opinions or beliefs about something.
Still, if you have a one-on-one experience with your therapist, you can have a better sense of strength and development for your family and your future. You're going to have the ability to dive deep into the issues and the things that are important to you specifically, rather than looking at more general issues that might affect most families. For example, classes with multiple couples might focus on the general areas of chores, finances, and children but individual classes might be able to focus on differences of religion or specifics about your relationships with other people.
Some classes are just about you and your partner and may not even have a therapist at all. You can just work through problems with your partner without having to go to an office or do anything else extra. These are all about helping you build your relationship, and that doesn't require anything specific. It only requires you and your partner to be looking for a solution and to be looking for a way to improve your relationship to a point where you can spend the rest of your lives together. After all, if you can get through these classes and learn about one another, you'll be ready for anything.
Why You Want These Classes
You want classes like this because you want to make sure that you can take care of anything that might come up in your relationship. You may have minor problems later on, or you may have major ones. You may just need to know what you're in for with your partner before you walk down that aisle and decide to marry your current partner. You want to know everything you possibly can about them and about the things that are important to them because those things are going to be relevant to you in the future.
Keep in mind that these types of classes aren't just about problems in your relationship. Maybe you and your partner don't currently have any problems, and you don't think that you ever will. In that case, you and your partner can still discuss your thoughts and your views on different things. Have you ever actually sat down and explained what you want for your future career? How about your thoughts on having children? Have you discussed who's going to be in charge of taking care of the house or what you're going to do when it comes to holidays and special occasions? Just having a class can help you remember to have these important conversations and hash out most of the details.
Even if you and your partner don't fight, there is a pretty big chance that you're going to at some point in the future. If that happens, what are you going to do? How are you going to handle disagreements and fights healthily? By working with a couples counselor, you're going to have someone to help you through these questions and concerns. You'll have someone that can walk you through what a healthy disagreement looks like, and you're going to have a way of role-playing in a way that works.
Things To Focus On In Class
If you're still not sure just what you should be talking about, let's go over some of the basics. First, you should talk about your goals and your thoughts about getting married. What does it mean to you to get married? How important is taking this step? What do you expect that marriage is going to mean for the two of you, and how do you feel about that kind of commitment? Talking about these things can help both of you go into the marriage more focused on what each of you thinks that it means.
How your household will run is another important topic to consider. Talk about your thoughts on the different things that need to be done around the house. If you and your partner have been living together this might be something you've already discussed or something that is already happening in your lives, but you still want to make sure that you talk about it and make sure that both of you are on the same page about how it will continue once you're married.
Discuss what the goals are that you have for your future and your life and how those goals are going to affect your relationship together. Do you want to have children? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to move to another state or get a vacation home or get a new job or anything else? All of these things are going to affect your partner, and that means they're things that you should discuss together before you get married. These are things that you should be discussing with your partner frequently, but sometimes it can seem so obvious to one person that it just doesn't occur to them to mention it.
Finally, you should talk about any problems that you have. The things that you find minorly annoying or an inconvenience now could turn into major problems later on if you ignore them and let them fester. It's better to talk to your partner about things that you don't like but temper it by also talking about the things that you do like. That's going to help you both understand each other, and it's going to help you to learn what needs to change for both of you to be happy. After all, both of you deserve to be completely happy for the rest of your lives, and that only happens if you learn to be honest from the very start.
If you're looking for some support, you're going to want to talk with a couples counselor, and that means you need to look for someone in your area, right? But you don't want to be too limited, right? The good news is that you don't have to. You can go to Regain, and you'll be able to find a professional who can help you, without you having to go to an office or anything. You'll be able to talk to someone online, no matter where you are. So make sure that you take a look at the website and see who's there for you and your partner.
You might be surprised at just how easy it is to have your next session entirely online. After all, when you and your partner can relax on your couch and talk to someone about what your marriage is going to look like it's going to be a lot more comfortable than sitting in a therapist's office, right? With Regain you're never going to have to go into that therapist's office again (or in the first place). You're going to have everything you need ready and waiting at home.
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