Here you will find articles that help you understand the importance of attachment and how it impacts your connections with others. Whether it’s your family, partner, friends or even co-workers, an attachment is an integral part of how you relate to others.
Attachment styles differ depending on what sort of person you are and the way that your parents or guardians cared for you as a child. There are three primary types of attachment; secure, anxious, or avoidant. In these articles, you will learn about different kinds of attachment and how they impact your relationships.
When people are securely attached, they don’t worry about the possibility that their partner or other people will leave them. Secure attachment is ideal because you aren’t fearful of being abandoned. Infants and children that are securely attached will be upset when their parent or guardian leaves, but they will be confident that the parent or guardian will come back. Adults that are securely attached mirror this in their relationships in the sense that they are not worried that they will be left and are generally trusting unless there’s a tangible reason not to trust someone.
People who have an anxious attachment style are always worried about their partner or other loved ones leaving them. Having these sorts of abandonment issues can be exhausting for people and their partners. The person worries that they’ll be abandoned, and the person they’re with will wonder why their partner feels this way and try to provide constant reassurance with no avail. Anxious attachment may be due to circumstances in your childhood, but it could also be connected to a genetic predisposition, anxiety disorder, or traumatic adult relationship.
People who have an avoidant attachment style have trouble connecting with others. Avoidant attachment can be difficult because someone with an avoidant attachment style may appear cold. In reality, they’re afraid of being left if they get too invested in a relationship or share their feelings. The vulnerability that comes with intimacy is scary for someone who’s avoidantly attached. A person with an avoidant attachment style can either be dismissive-avoidant or fearful-avoidant. Since the dismissive-avoidant attachment style and the fearful-avoidant style attachment differ but are both avoidant, some people say that there are four attachment styles, whereas others will say that there are three. Either way, it’s important to note the difference.
Attachment theory has been documented in many different psychology books and publications. Knowing your attachment style can be extremely helpful in bettering your relationships. Your attachment style influences your emotional bond with others. When you understand your attachment style, you’ll be able to navigate romantic partnerships effectively because you’ll be able to identify issues you might have related to attachment and work through them. Attachment theory emerged in the 1960s and 1970s, but many people became aware of attachment styles when the book “Attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller emerged in the year 2010. “Attached” remains an accessible read and is often the first piece of media that people refer to when learning about attachment.
How do I identify my attachment style?
You can identify your attachment style by taking quizzes online or by reading more about attachment styles and seeing which one (or which ones) you resonate with the most. Talking to a therapist can also help you with identifying your attachment style or with working through any issues related to attachment that you might have. Likely, you will be able to identify clues about your attachment style based on previous or current relationships. One thing to note is certain circumstances in relationships might trigger that attachment issues. For example, if one partner is avoidant and the other is anxious, both people may struggle in that partnership more than they would if one or both partners were securely attached.
Develop secure attachment
Attachment is a critical part of relationships. Whether you’re in a friendship or romantic partnership, you might be wondering if it’s possible to develop a secure attachment if you were not already securely attached. While attachment is something that many of us struggle with and attachment issues can be incredibly deep-rooted, it is possible to develop a secure or more secure attachment style. You can read more about attachment here on Regain, or you can seek the help of the license counselors at Regain to talk about attachment or any other issues that you may have connecting with others.