I'm Emotionally Attached To Someone

By Tanisha Herrin|Updated July 29, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC

An emotionally attached person may feel connected to another person based on their personal feelings or emotions for them. A person may feel attached to another after their relationship has ended. Some may have an emotional connection with another person without being in a relationship, but not realize they are falling for someone deeply. Sometimes these emotions may lead to sadness or rejection when one realizes the other doesn't feel the same way, which online therapy can help you process. For some, it translates to a "need" they want from others to feel satisfied or happy, and if the feeling isn't mutual or returned, they feel down or unwanted.

What is the Importance of Emotional Attachment?

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Emotional Attachment Can Be Difficult To Navigate - Don't Do It Alone
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Understanding aspects of being emotionally attached to someone is important because it influences how a relationship exists in many cases. It may lead to or be accompanied by physical attraction, which makes things more exciting and meaningful in romantic relationships. Sometimes a person becomes attached to another because they are attracted to a person's mind or spiritual being. You can have a meaningful friendship with someone and value their words, thoughts, and feelings on a variety of things in everyday life.

Why Is Connection Like This Important?

If you are considering someone to be your soul mate or partner in a relationship, some forms of emotional attachment are good for developing a bond, connection, or attraction among each other. An emotional attachment could be unhealthy when a person depends on their relationship while feeling insecure, anxious, or fearful of losing their partner. Creating a deep emotional bond is essential, but in some cases, it may cause emotional despair before realizing it is a problem. Identifying factors of being emotionally attached may help with understanding how your emotions affect your livelihood and relations with others and may help you to look after your mental health.

What Are The 8 Things to Notice When Attached To Someone?

Having feelings for someone is a good start when building your relationship. Many people want to have someone they can share their feelings with, and there is nothing wrong with that, except having too much of a good thing could become problematic and unhealthy. But if these feelings have you thinking about a person too much, leading to an obsession about them, it may signal you've become emotionally attached to the person you can't stop thinking or talking about. Here are signs you may be too attached to someone else.

  • You're always sending text messages.

    • It is great to have excellent communication between each other as with any friendship or relationship, but it is a problem when messages are continuously sent, and you expect a response quickly like you need their attention right now. Even if they are doing a priority task such as being at work, you need their attention. If you don't get it, you feel anxious, lonely, and worrisome. Also, your priorities take a back seat, and things you should be getting done are not because you're consumed in texting the person and waiting for a response.
  • You don't disagree with the person often.

    • Maybe you're not sharing your opinion on things and agree with them to avoid a disagreement. You may not feel comfortable getting the person on board with your interests, but you'll do what they want even if you don't want to. For example, you may watch something on television you don't have the interest to watch only because they want to watch it, instead of mentioning what you would prefer. People think they will be liked more if they agree to the opinions or ideas of others instead of just being themselves. You may think you're showing thoughtfulness, but it may also lead to being underappreciated.
  • You put their needs before your own.

    • You're making sacrifices without getting anything in return. The relationship becomes imbalanced, and you may be doing things that were never asked of you in the first place. Your actions may be viewed as though you're just trying to please them. Things should involve compromising and decision making from both sides instead of just one. It could lead to resentment or regret when trying to do things just to fit in.
  • You spend less time with family and friends.

    • It is vital to keep relationships with your family and friends intact. Friends may complain they don't see you as often and you may be texting and emailing them more while physically seeing them less. Spending time with them shows you value them. Plus, you need time independently away from your partner as part of a healthy relationship, which will allow you to build bonds between each other and others that are close to you.
  • You don't have personal interests or hobbies you like to do.

    • You do activities your partner does to make them happy or please them, even if you've never done them before. Consistently doing what the other person likes doesn't help you to learn about yourself. Such actions lead to missing out on your own interests because you spend all your time on someone else’s interests. It is not a healthy way to sustain a friendship or relationship because you'll be unhappy and miserable most of the time.
  • You feel incomplete without them and want them with you.

    • You've lost a sense of independence and don't want to do things yourself. It is a common action among people who are codependent on another person, especially if anxiety or stress sets in at the thought of you doing something alone. It is natural to want to do things with another but feeling overwhelmed at doing something that you could do on your own may be problematic. It's like you've lost your identity. Doing things you like ensures you stay who you are, and who you are is what got the attention of the other in the first place.
  • You continuously stalk their social media pages.

    • You want to know who they are communicating with and when. You scan through their photos, people who left comments on their timeline, etc. We all check out each other's pages but doing it so often where you're trying to analyze others that communicate with them isn't healthy. It may lead to anxiety or jealousy because you saw they liked someone else's photo.
  • You need reassurance often that you're cared for or loved.

    • Seeking reassurance may be through asking them constantly how they feel about you. You may ask if they love you, then ask if they are sure, and ask the same question worded differently often. The reassurance may also be in the form of constant affection such as holding hands, hugs or kisses. There is a sense that something is about to happen that will end relations or things will come crashing down. It is hard to believe someone values you. It is a sign of insecurity within yourself and the need to understand your self-worth.

Getting attached to another emotionally signals you need to learn more about yourself and how to value who you are. Work on establishing a balance in the relationship. It is okay to stand up for yourself and put yourself first. Taking time to learn and love yourself is essential and necessary to cope with your feelings productively.

Tips on Managing Your Feelings

Many think it is difficult to overcome these feelings, but it is possible to gain insight into why they have a substantial effect on you so you can do something about them. Whether you're emotionally attached to someone you had a relationship with or someone you can't have because they are with someone else, there are productive ways to cope with your emotions. Here are suggestions on how to overcome emotional attachment.

  • Realize it is normal to feel this way, and you're not the only one to experience them. Humans have an instinct when it comes to attraction. Work on acknowledging and recognizing when your eyes or thoughts wander. Keep your feelings in check, and they will fade as long as you don't give in to them. Remember, you have control of how your thoughts respond to feelings of attraction.
  • Are your thoughts of a competitive nature? Sometimes attachment emotions are a result of desiring a partner belonging to a friend or someone you know. The feelings may not be for the person you want but more so through competition (feeling as if you are better than the person they are with). Sometimes these feelings can ruin friendships when acting on the urge from your emotions, or making your feelings known to the person. Determine how to work through these feelings without hurting your friendship or their relationship.
  • A person who is with someone else may not be as attractive as you think. There are different levels of attraction that affect us, but when someone is unavailable because they are with someone else, the level of appeal may change. The person you are attached to may be attached to someone else. Think about why you would feel connected to someone when they are attached to someone else?
  • Practice meditation. Learn how to create a peaceful and calm place within yourself. It is a great way to relax and reduce anxieties related to your emotions. Deep breathing exercises and yoga are also helpful when dealing with attachment.
  • Get physically productive. Instead of being idle with your emotions, get busy doing what you like to do. Socialize with friends, get into a hobby, or help out family members. Consider activities you've wanted to do but put off. Sometimes feelings of attachment will throw your attention off or make you forget things.
  • Adopt new ways of thinking by reframing your thoughts. Try to move forward when feeling negative or let down by replacing your thoughts with positive and productive ones.
  • Talk about your feelings. It is common for people to keep such feelings to themselves but getting them out is a step in the right direction toward managing them. You'll realize how they affect your life, help you wake up and accept the reality so you can move forward with your life. Talk to someone you trust, such as a good friend. Seek counseling options such as couples therapy or online counseling, or consider self-help groups to improve coping skills and tackle self-defeating behaviors.

Recognizing Unhealthy Attachment Emotions

Emotional Attachment Can Be Difficult To Navigate - Don't Do It Alone

It’s important to know when feelings of attachment become unhealthy. They disrupt your way of living with stress and anxiety for different reasons. They are feelings we keep holding on to because of embarrassment or anger but find it hard to let them go because a part of us refuses to do so. It is difficult to see things as they are and become blind to what is real. We must realize where we are emotionally isn't what we want. We all want to be loved, but if it comes along being in this emotional state, it won't feel stable and you won't be content. It gets challenging to shift focus on yourself and realize you need healing. Recognizing your emotions could be taking you on a dangerous path will make it easier to let feelings go.

In some cases, attachments can lead to domestic violence, because if a person feels there is a threat to the emotional connection, feelings can boil over and cross the line into violence. This happens particularly if unhealthy emotional attachment has led to anxiety.

It may be that your friends or family saw your attachment become unhealthy. The people close to us often notice our behavior change before we notice it ourselves - or before we are ready to admit it, or perhaps they’re wondering why you’re not spending as much time with them as you used to. They may have noticed that your mental health is not good, or you always say no to invitations to socialize.

Perhaps you’ve noticed this yourself - you might feel different in how you behave, or you may have mental and physical symptoms related to your unhealthy emotional attachment. You could feel stressed or anxious all the time. Personality disorders and eating disorders could have arisen as a result of unhealthy attachment.

Conclusion

Perhaps you feel like you’re watching your emotional attachment become unhealthy, but you don’t know what to do. There are ways to work on releasing attached emotions. Acknowledge negative and hurtful feelings and focus on actions that promote good well-being. As you work on managing your feelings, you'll see how much more comfortable it gets to let go.

Online Counseling Can Help

Your mental health is important. Be kind and patient with yourself and stay focused on moving forward. Consider online counseling - talking about your feelings and your emotional attachment will help.

Commonly Asked Questions Below:

How do you know if you are emotionally attached to someone?
Does emotional attachment mean love?
Why do I get so emotionally attached?
What does it mean to be emotionally attached to someone?
What does it mean to be emotionally connected?
When a man is emotionally attached?
What makes a man emotionally attached to a woman?

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