Do They Like Me? 7 Signs Of Unspoken Attraction Between People
Updated November 11, 2019
Reviewer Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
We have all wondered at one time or another whether a person is attracted to us or not. Many times, when a romantic attraction is felt, feelings are not expressed explicitly due to fear of rejection. After all, thinking 'Do they like me?' can be a scary thought. Especially if you've been rejected in the past. Additionally, a person might not be forthcoming with their feelings because they aren't sure how to express them properly. No matter what the reason, the confusion it causes can be bothersome.
Luckily, there are several tell-tale signs that someone is attracted to you. Since you can't rely on this person to come out and tell you how they feel, you can search for nonverbal cues to tell the story. This will empower you to be able to take control of your love life and go after the person you want to be in a relationship with.
On the other hand, if you pick up cues that someone is attracted to you and you don't feel the same, you can save them and yourself some embarrassment. Learning to read nonverbal cues can help in areas separate from romantic relationships as well.
Keep reading for an in-depth overview of some signs of unspoken attraction between people.
You Feel the Chemistry
Intuition holds more weight than it is often given credit for. If you feel the chemistry between the two of you, it is normally one of the signs of unspoken attraction. What exactly is romantic chemistry? Well, it's not the same kind you learn about in science class, but energy is a part of it.
Chemistry is the emotional connection that two people feel when they have feelings for each other. Chances are if you are feeling it, they are feeling it too! It can be difficult sometimes to decipher whether the other person is feeling the same way as you are.
Some signs of emotional chemistry include:
- Body language
- You can talk about anything
- Teasing one another
- Intense eye contact
- Subtle flirtation
- Being 'smiley'
- Focusing on one another
- You love spending time together
Chances are if you recognize any of these signs in combination with the other things in this article, you can conclude there is some attraction there.
You Tease Each Other
This is one of the signs mentioned in the section above. When two people tease one another as adults, it could be one of the signs of unspoken attraction.
This is something that most of us have been told since early childhood. When a boy teases or picks on you, it usually indicates a crush! There is some truth here. If you are both constantly giving each other a hard time, you may have something there.
This is not to be confused with bullying or emotional abuse, though. If the "teasing" feels more like ridicule or is not consensual, it is not acceptable behavior. You should never allow yourself to be degraded or disrespected. If the conversation turns sexual and you aren't comfortable, you must be sure to speak up and protect your mental wellbeing. Someone that cares for you will not want to compromise your feelings or hurt you in any way. Sometimes, lines are crossed unintentionally, but the behavior should stop the moment you call attention to this.
If the teasing from anyone is causing you emotional distress, consider talking to a licensed counselor or therapist. Your number one priority, especially if you are seeking a relationship, should be to take care of yourself. You won't be able to care for someone else emotionally until your emotions are stable. There is no shame in seeking help from someone trained in relationships and emotional connections.
You Mirror Each Other's Movements
Mirroring each other's movements is one of the signs of unspoken mutual attraction that few people know about. A lot of times this happens unintentionally! Still, it is a tell-tale sign of attraction and connection.
If you pay close attention to the person you are evaluating, you may find they are mirroring your movements. This is a subconscious indicator they are doing to indicate they have an emotional connection with you. This is one of the most prevalent signs that have been studied when it comes to attraction. So, how do you detect mirroring? First, focus, even if you're distracted by the conversation and smiles.
Remember to be patient with yourself through the process, and you will reap better rewards. The art of learning, when someone is attracted to you, isn't always a straight path. In fact, this can be hard to spot at times. If you keep at it and continue to look for the signs, though, you will eventually be able to spot them with ease. You will have many learning experiences before you are a pro!
Other physical representations of love in the early stages include:
- The person's body is aligned with yours
- Nervous yawning
- Shrugged shoulders
- Cheeks that are red (blushing)
- Touching one's self (especially the face)
- Rapid blinking of the eyes
- Gazing downward as a sign of shyness
- Head or hair tossing (usually true of women)
- Tons of smiling
- Moving closer (see the next section for more detail on this sign)
You Maintain Close Physical Proximity
The next time you are with this person, pay attention to how close they stay to you. Proximity is one of the signs of physical attraction between two people in many cases. Although some people prefer staying in their 'personal bubbles' regardless of emotions, most people are drawn closer to those that they like.
If you are sitting together, do you notice your thighs or shoulders touching frequently? This may be one of the signs of unspoken attraction. When you are attracted to someone, you want to be near them.
Having skin to skin contact with this person activates the dopamine receptors in your brain. Dopamine is a chemical produced by the brain that releases feelings of happiness or euphoria. Since the fuzzy feelings come about when they are as close as possible to you, you can bet they will be nearby every chance they get.
If you feel like this person being so close is more of an invasion of privacy, speak up. Some people have different ways of expressing their affection that may not match yours. Whether or not you feel attracted to this person shouldn't matter. When you ask for personal space, it should be given.
They Try to Impress You
Men are driven to getting women in a variety of ways. If the person you are interested in makes grandeur shows, this could be a sign of unspoken attraction. We usually think chocolate and flowers, but many examples present in both men and women.
This could manifest itself in a variety of different ways. Maybe he got a new car and has made it a point that you see it. He may have even invited you for a joyride and to show off the car's interior. He might also be constantly giving you information to prove that he is smart or well-spoken. If he is trying to impress you, he will likely do so in many different ways. Keep an eye out for this type of behavior if you want to determine whether he is into you or not.
If showing off comes off as gloating to you more than an endearing act of love, that's okay. Try to remember that this person has feelings for you that he is attempting to conceal. When you are trying to hide your feelings, many times you unknowingly display many behaviors that are normally out of character for you. For example, he may not be the type to gloat constantly, but the pent-up emotions he has for you cause him to want you to express some satisfaction for him or what he has.
All the same, if it's not your cup of tea, you could have a conversation about it. It is best to put your feelings on the table and let him know what's bothering you. There may be an explanation for behavior you don't like or understand immediately.
You Spend Lots Of Time Together
People that have signs of unspoken mutual attraction often long to be together. Being with someone that you like, and that makes you happy is one of the best feelings in the world.
There are a few things you can look out for if you want to know if he likes you. The first thing would be his friends. Is he spending more time with you than his social circle recently? Does he cancel plans with them in favor of the last-minute lunch with you? These are both signs that he may be attracted to you. If he is clearing time in his schedule to get in every minute, he's probably doing it for a reason.
Another thing you can look out for is how often he is inviting you out with him. If it is more than once or twice a week, that is a dead ringer for unspoken attraction. Men don't often clear their schedules to fit the bill for dinners and movies unless they are attracted to the person they are spending time with. Don't write it off just yet - it could be a sign that he likes you!
You're Constantly Talking
A major sign of unspoken attraction is constant communication. If he seems just not able to get enough of your conversation, there could be something there.
Are you texting from daylight until dusk? Maybe you're talking on the phone every day for hours on end. You might also notice him frequently commenting and reacting to your posts on social media. These are all easily spotted signs that he likes you.
He may indeed talk to you in excess because he enjoys your company. Many friends keep up constant, daily communication with one another. The deciding factor will be how he talks to you. He could constantly be offering compliments or showing a genuine interest in the way your day went. Each person is different, but if you read the signs correctly, and you pay close attention, you will learn how to decipher between friendliness and attraction.
Still not sure how to determine if someone is attracted to you or not? Even though it may be uncomfortable or challenging, often the best way to determine someone's level of interest is to have an open conversation about it. Reach out to a Regain relationship counselor today to discuss your blossoming relationship.