Do They Like Me? 7 Signs Of Unspoken Attraction Between People
Updated May 28, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
We have all wondered at one time or another whether a person feels attracted to us or not. When a romantic attraction is felt, feelings are not expressed explicitly due to fear of rejection. This fear is also present when a physical attraction occurs when somebody likes another person and vice versa. After all, thinking, 'Do they like me?' can be a scary thought. Especially if you've been rejected in the past and you’re feeling scared of another rejection. Additionally, a person might not be forthcoming with their feelings because they aren't sure how to express them properly. Despite clear signs of attraction between two people, their uncertainty in expressing them may doom the relationship from ever happening. No matter what the reason, the confusion it causes can be bothersome.
Luckily, several tell-tale signs show that someone is attracted to you. Since you don’t know if you can rely on this person to come out and tell you how they feel, you can search for nonverbal cues or body language to tell the story. That’s not to say that the other person may be oblivious to the signs that show strong hints that you are attracted to them. No matter how many obvious signs there are, you should always take the initiative and search out if the connection is real. This will empower you to take control of your love life and go after the person you want to be in a relationship with. The initial attraction may not be a clear sign that you two will have a deep connection, but pay attention to other signs of attraction if you want to pursue a relationship.
On the other hand, if you pick up cues that someone is attracted to you and you don't feel the same initial attraction, you can save them and yourself some embarrassment. Learning to read nonverbal cues can help in areas separate from romantic relationships as well. It may not be romantic chemistry, but people chemistry, in which you and the other person go well together as friends and not as romantic partners. People attracted to each other can spot obvious signs of physical attraction that are nonexistent in friendships.
Keep reading for an in-depth overview of some signs of unspoken attraction between people.
You Feel the Chemistry
Intuition holds more weight than it is often given credit for. If you feel the chemistry between the two of you, it is normally one sign of unspoken attraction. Have you ever seen the chemistry between people while you are doing your daily routine? Such as people having lunch with each other and giggling the whole time or a couple walking hand-in-hand in comfortable silence? While these instances describe romantic chemistry, it’s not entirely a clear-cut definition of the concept. Well, it's not the same kind you learn about in science class, but energy is a part of it.
Chemistry is the emotional connection that two people feel when they have feelings for each other. Chances are, if you are feeling it, they are feeling it too! It can sometimes be difficult to decipher whether the other person is feeling the same way as you are. Chances are if you feel like there is something special between you and someone else, then that’s a sign of attraction between two people.
Some signs of emotional chemistry include:
- Body language
- You can talk about anything
- Teasing one another
- Intense eye contact
- Subtle flirtation
- Being 'smiley'
- Focusing on one another
- You love spending time together
Chances are, if you recognize any of these positive signs in combination with the other things in this article, you can conclude there is some interpersonal attraction there.
You Tease Each Other
This is one of the signs mentioned in the section above. When two people tease one another as adults, that’s a sign of unspoken attraction between two people.
This is something that most of us have been told since early childhood. When a boy teases or picks on you, it usually indicates a crush! There is some truth here. If you are both constantly giving each other a hard time, you may feel attracted to each other. If a friend is teasing you, and your body language in response to the event is acknowledging the tease as a joke, then that’s a sign that the connection is real.
This is not to be confused with bullying or emotional abuse, though. If the "teasing" feels more like ridicule or is not consensual, it is unacceptable. You should never allow yourself to be degraded or disrespected. If the conversation turns sexual and you aren't comfortable with the sexual tension, you must speak up and protect your mental wellbeing. It is important to understand that if somebody feels a sexual attraction towards you, you don’t feel attracted to yourself, then speak up as soon as possible. There is no reason for you to put up with unwanted sexual hormones. Someone that cares for you will not want to compromise your feelings or hurt you in any way. Sometimes, lines are crossed unintentionally, but the behavior should stop when you call attention to this.
If the teasing from anyone is causing you emotional distress, consider talking to a licensed counselor or therapist. Your number one priority, especially if you seek a relationship, should be to take care of yourself. You won't be able to care for someone else emotionally until your emotions are stable. There is no shame in seeking help from someone trained in relationships and emotional connections. Always spend more time understanding your personal boundaries so that if somebody crosses over them, you can call them out on the uncomfortable behavior.
You Mirror Each Other's Movements
Mirroring each other's movements is one of the signs of unspoken mutual attraction few people know about. A lot of times, this happens unintentionally! Still, it is a tell-tale sign that the attraction is mutual, and you can form a possible connection.
If you pay close attention to the person you are evaluating, you may find they are mirroring your movements. This is a subconscious form of body language that they are doing to indicate they have an emotional connection with you. Thus the attraction is mutual. This is one of the most obvious signs that have been studied when it comes to attraction. So, how do you detect mirroring? First, focus, even if you're distracted by the conversation, and smile.
Remember to be patient with yourself through the process, and you will reap better rewards. The art of learning, when someone is attracted to you, isn't always a straight path. In fact, this can be hard to spot at times. If you keep at it and continue to look for the signs, though, you will eventually be able to spot them with ease. You will have many learning experiences before you are a pro!
Other physical representations of love in the early stages include:
- The person's body is aligned with yours
- Nervous yawning
- Shrugged shoulders
- Cheeks that are red (blushing)
- Touching one's self (especially the face)
- Rapid blinking of the eyes
- Gazing downward as a sign of shyness
- Head or hair tossing (usually true of women)
- Tons of smiling
- Moving closer (see the next section for more detail on this sign)
You Maintain Close Physical Proximity
The next time you are with this person, pay close attention to how close they stay to you. Proximity is one of the signs of physical attraction between two people in many cases. Although some people prefer staying in their 'personal bubbles' regardless of emotions, they are near the person as frequently as possible when they're attracted to somebody else.
If you are sitting together, do you notice your thighs or shoulders touching frequently? This may be one of the signs of physical attraction. A clear sign of attraction between two people is when they are physically close to each other at all times.
Having skin-to-skin contact with this person activates the dopamine receptors in your brain. Dopamine is a chemical produced by the brain that releases feelings of happiness or euphoria. Since the fuzzy feelings come about when they are as close as possible to you, you can bet they will be nearby every chance they get during physical attraction. This feeling can also occur when you’re talking to that special somebody as well. While you’re talking to them, you may feel excited, really happy, or get those fuzzy feelings. These are all clear signs of physical attraction and a hint that there is true love between the two of you as well.
If you feel like this person being so close is more of an invasion of privacy, speak up. Some people have different ways of expressing their affection that may not match yours. Whether or not you feel that the attraction is mutual to this person shouldn't matter. When you ask for personal space, it should be given. There is no reason to endure this physical attraction if it is breaching your sense of privacy.
They Try to Impress You
When a man develops feelings for a woman, they will try to get their attention and see if they can connect. If the person you are interested in makes grandiose shows or exhibits body language with sexual tension, this could be a sign that they’re attracted to you. We usually think of chocolate and flowers, but many examples are present in both men and women.
This could manifest itself in a variety of different ways. Maybe he got a new car and has made it a point that you see it. He may have even invited you for a joyride and to show off the car's interior. He might also be constantly giving you information to prove that he is smart or well-spoken. If he is trying to impress you, he will likely do so in many different ways. It is important to pay attention to this type of behavior if you want to determine whether he is into you or not. If you find yourself doing the same thing to him, such as showing off something you got to share with him, it is an example of attraction between two people.
If showing off comes off as gloating to you more than an endearing act of love, that's okay. Try to remember that this person has feelings for you that he is attempting to conceal. When you are trying to hide your feelings, you often unknowingly display many behaviors that are normally out of character for you. For example, he may not be the type to gloat constantly, but the pent-up emotions he has for you cause him to want you to express some satisfaction for him or what he has. This change in body language is one of many clear signs that they’re attracted to you.
All the same, if it's not your warm cup of tea, you could have a conversation about it. It is best to put your feelings on the table and let him know what's bothering you. There may be an explanation for the behavior you don't like or understand immediately.
You Spend Lots Of Time Together
People that have signs of unspoken mutual attraction often long to be together. Being with that special someone is one of the best feelings in the world. Having strong chemistry with that special somebody is a feeling you should treasure and not take lightly.
There are a few things you can look out for if you want to know if he likes you. The first thing would be his friends. Is he spending more time with you than his social circle recently? Does he cancel plans with them in favor of the last-minute lunch with you? These are both signs that he may be in the attraction phase. If he is clearing time in his schedule to get in every minute, he's probably doing it for a reason.
Another thing you can look out for is how often he is inviting you out with him. If it is more than once or twice a week, that is a dead ringer for unspoken attraction. Men don't often clear their schedules to fit the bill for dinners and movies unless they’re attracted to the person they are spending time with. Don't write it off just yet — it could be a sign of romantic love!
You're Constantly Talking
A major sign of unspoken attraction is constant communication. If he seems just not able to get enough of your conversation, that could be an example of attraction between two people.
Are you texting from daylight until dusk? Maybe you're talking on the phone every day for hours on end. You might also notice him frequently commenting and reacting to your posts on social media. These are all easily spotted clear signs that he likes you.
He may indeed talk to you in excess because he enjoys your company. Many friends keep up constant, daily communication with one another. The deciding factor will be how he talks to you. He could constantly be offering compliments or showing a genuine interest in the way your day went. Each person is different, but if you read the signs correctly and pay close attention, you will learn how to decipher between friendliness and attraction. If he is constantly giving you compliments and showing interest, and you are doing the same as well, then that’s a sign that the two of you are falling in love.
Still not sure how to determine if someone is attracted to you or not? Even though it may be uncomfortable or challenging, often the best way to determine someone's level of interest is to have an open conversation about it. Reach out to a ReGain relationship counselor today to discuss your blossoming relationship.
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