Do They Like Me? 7 Signs Of Unspoken Attraction Between People
Updated January 25, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
We have all wondered at one time or another whether a person feels attracted to us or not. Many times, when a romantic attraction is felt, feelings are not expressed explicitly due to fear of rejection. This fear is also present when a physical attraction occurs when somebody likes another person and vice versa. After all, thinking 'Do they like me?' can be a scary thought. Especially if you've been rejected in the past and you’re feeling scared of another rejection. Additionally, a person might not be forthcoming with their feelings because they aren't sure how to express them properly. Despite clear signs of attraction between two people, their uncertainty in expressing them may doom the relationship from ever happening. No matter what the reason, the confusion it causes can be bothersome.
Luckily, there are several tell-tale signs that show that someone is attracted to you. Since you don’t know if you can rely on this person to come out and tell you how they feel, you can search for nonverbal cues or body language to tell the story. That’s not to say that the other person may be oblivious to the signs that show strong hints that you are attracted to them. No matter how many obvious signs there are, you should always take the initiative and search out if the connection is real. This will empower you to be able to take control of your love life and go after the person you want to be in a relationship with. The initial attraction may not be a clear sign that you two will have a deep connection, but pay attention to other signs of attraction if you want to pursue a relationship.
On the other hand, if you pick up cues that someone is attracted to you and you don't feel the same initial attraction, you can save them and yourself some embarrassment. Learning to read nonverbal cues can help in areas separate from romantic relationships as well. It may not be romantic chemistry, but people chemistry, in which you and the other person go well together as friends and not as romantic partners. People who are attracted to each other can spot obvious signs of physical attraction that are nonexistent in friendships.
Keep reading for an in-depth overview of some signs of unspoken attraction between people.
You Feel the Chemistry
Intuition holds more weight than it is often given credit for. If you feel the chemistry between the two of you, it is normally one of the signs of unspoken attraction. Have you ever seen chemistry between people while you are doing your daily routine? Such as people having lunch with each other and giggling the whole time or a couple walking hand-in-hand in comfortable silence? While these instances describe romantic chemistry, it’s not entirely a clear cut definition of the concept. Well, it's not the same kind you learn about in science class, but energy is a part of it.
Chemistry is the emotional connection that two people feel when they have feelings for each other. Chances are if you are feeling it, they are feeling it too! It can be difficult sometimes to decipher whether the other person is feeling the same way as you are. Chances are, if you feel like there is something special between you and someone else, then that’s a sign of attraction between two people.
Some signs of emotional chemistry include:
- Body language
- You can talk about anything
- Teasing one another
- Intense eye contact
- Subtle flirtation
- Being 'smiley'
- Focusing on one another
- You love spending time together
Chances are if you recognize any of these positive signs in combination with the other things in this article, you can conclude there is some interpersonal attraction there.
You Tease Each Other
This is one of the signs mentioned in the section above. When two people tease one another as adults, that’s a sign of unspoken attraction between two people.
This is something that most of us have been told since early childhood. When a boy teases or picks on you, it usually indicates a crush! There is some truth here. If you are both constantly giving each other a hard time, you may feel attracted to each other. If you are being teased by a friend and your body language in response to the event is that of acknowledging the tease as a joke, then that’s a sign that the connection is real.
This is not to be confused with bullying or emotional abuse, though. If the "teasing" feels more like ridicule or is not consensual, it is not acceptable behavior. You should never allow yourself to be degraded or disrespected. If the conversation turns sexual and you aren't comfortable with the sexual tension, you must speak up and protect your mental wellbeing. It is important to understand that if somebody feels a sexual attraction towards you but you don’t feel attracted to yourself, then speak up as soon as you can. THere is no reason for you to put up with unwanted sexual hormones. Someone that cares for you will not want to compromise your feelings or hurt you in any way. Sometimes, lines are crossed unintentionally, but the behavior should stop the moment you call attention to this.
If the teasing from anyone is causing you emotional distress, consider talking to a licensed counselor or therapist. Your number one priority, especially if you are seeking a relationship, should be to take care of yourself. You won't be able to care for someone else emotionally until your emotions are stable. There is no shame in seeking help from someone trained in relationships and emotional connections. Always spend more time understanding your personal boundaries so that if somebody crosses over them, you can call them out on the uncomfortable behavior.
You Mirror Each Other's Movements
Mirroring each other's movements is one of the signs of unspoken mutual attraction that few people know about. A lot of times this happens unintentionally! Still, it is a tell-tale sign that the attraction is mutual and you can form a possible connection.
If you pay close attention to the person you are evaluating, you may find they are mirroring your movements. This is a subconscious form of body language that they are doing to indicate they have an emotional connection with you, thus the attraction is mutual. This is one of the most obvious signs that have been studied when it comes to attraction. So, how do you detect mirroring? First, focus, even if you're distracted by the conversation and smiles.
Remember to be patient with yourself through the process, and you will reap better rewards. The art of learning, when someone is attracted to you, isn't always a straight path. In fact, this can be hard to spot at times. If you keep at it and continue to look for the signs, though, you will eventually be able to spot them with ease. You will have many learning experiences before you are a pro!
Other physical representations of love in the early stages include:
- The person's body is aligned with yours
- Nervous yawning
- Shrugged shoulders
- Cheeks that are red (blushing)
- Touching one's self (especially the face)
- Rapid blinking of the eyes
- Gazing downward as a sign of shyness
- Head or hair tossing (usually true of women)
- Tons of smiling
- Moving closer (see the next section for more detail on this sign)
You Maintain Close Physical Proximity
The next time you are with this person, pay close attention to how close they stay to you. Proximity is one of the signs of physical attraction between two people in many cases. Although some people prefer staying in their 'personal bubbles' regardless of emotions, when they’re attracted to somebody else, they are in close proximity to the person as frequently as possible.
If you are sitting together, do you notice your thighs or shoulders touching frequently? This may be one of the signs of physical attraction. A clear sign of attraction between two people is when they are physically close to each other at all times.
Having skin to skin contact with this person activates the dopamine receptors in your brain. Dopamine is a chemical produced by the brain that releases feelings of happiness or euphoria. Since the fuzzy feelings come about when they are as close as possible to you, you can bet they will be nearby every chance they get during physical attraction. This feeling can also occur when you’re talking to that special somebody as well. While you’re talking to them, you may feel excited, really happy, or get those fuzzy feelings. These are all clear signs of physical attraction as well as a hint that there exists true love between the two of you as well.
If you feel like this person being so close is more of an invasion of privacy, speak up. Some people have different ways of expressing their affection that may not match yours. Whether or not you feel that the attraction is mutual to this person shouldn't matter. When you ask for personal space, it should be given. There is no reason to endure this physical attraction if it is breaching your sense of privacy.
They Try to Impress You
When a man develops feelings for a woman, they will try to get their attention and see if they can form a connection. If the person you are interested in makes grandiose shows or exhibits body language with sexual tension, this could be a sign that they’re attracted to you. We usually think of chocolate and flowers, but many examples are present in both men and women.
This could manifest itself in a variety of different ways. Maybe he got a new car and has made it a point that you see it. He may have even invited you for a joyride and to show off the car's interior. He might also be constantly giving you information to prove that he is smart or well-spoken. If he is trying to impress you, he will likely do so in many different ways. It is important to pay attention to this type of behavior if you want to determine whether he is into you or not. If you find yourself doing the same thing to him, such as showing off something that you got just to share it with him, then it is an example of attraction between two people.
If showing off comes off as gloating to you more than an endearing act of love, that's okay. Try to remember that this person has feelings for you that he is attempting to conceal. When you are trying to hide your feelings, many times you unknowingly display many behaviors that are normally out of character for you. For example, he may not be the type to gloat constantly, but the pent-up emotions he has for you cause him to want you to express some satisfaction for him or what he has. This change in body language is one of many clear signs that they’re attracted to you.
All the same, if it's not your warm cup of tea, you could have a conversation about it. It is best to put your feelings on the table and let him know what's bothering you. There may be an explanation for behavior you don't like or understand immediately.
You Spend Lots Of Time Together
People that have signs of unspoken mutual attraction often long to be together. Being with that special someone is one of the best feelings in the world. Having a strong chemistry with that special somebody is a feeling that you should treasure and not take it lightly.
There are a few things you can look out for if you want to know if he likes you. The first thing would be his friends. Is he spending more time with you than his social circle recently? Does he cancel plans with them in favor of the last-minute lunch with you? These are both signs that he may be in the attraction phase. If he is clearing time in his schedule to get in every minute, he's probably doing it for a reason.
Another thing you can look out for is how often he is inviting you out with him. If it is more than once or twice a week, that is a dead ringer for unspoken attraction. Men don't often clear their schedules to fit the bill for dinners and movies unless they’re attracted to the person they are spending time with. Don't write it off just yet — it could be a sign of romantic love!
You're Constantly Talking
A major sign of unspoken attraction is constant communication. If he seems just not able to get enough of your conversation, that could be an example of attraction between two people.
Are you texting from daylight until dusk? Maybe you're talking on the phone every day for hours on end. You might also notice him frequently commenting and reacting to your posts on social media. These are all easily spotted clear signs that he likes you.
He may indeed talk to you in excess because he enjoys your company. Many friends keep up constant, daily communication with one another. The deciding factor will be how he talks to you. He could constantly be offering compliments or showing a genuine interest in the way your day went. Each person is different, but if you read the signs correctly, and you pay close attention, you will learn how to decipher between friendliness and attraction. If he is constantly giving you compliments and showing interest, and you are doing the same as well, then that’s a sign that the two of you are falling in love.
Still not sure how to determine if someone is attracted to you or not? Even though it may be uncomfortable or challenging, often the best way to determine someone's level of interest is to have an open conversation about it. Reach out to a ReGain relationship counselor today to discuss your blossoming relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you tell if someone is thinking about you?
There are multiple ways to tell if something is thinking about you. When you are spending time with them, analyze their behavior. Are they talking to you frequently? What about how they pay attention to you? If they are constantly finding ways to converse with you, there’s a chance that they have thought about how to talk to you. Pay attention to how they talk to you as well. Do they remember small details you mentioned in the past? Maybe you talked about a favorite color, and in another conversation, your partner brings up the color in wanting to give you something. While it may be a small detail, it is invaluable that your partner recalls the detail.
Other ways to tell is how they plan their schedules around meeting with you. Do they cancel a meeting with their friends to spend time with you? How about if they are constantly texting you when the two of you should meet up? If these occurrences are happening all the time, it shows that he or she is always thinking about wanting to be with you in-person. Through these interactions, your partner will also see that you are thinking about them as well. In watching their behaviors and responding with positive actions to them, your partner will feel good being with you.
How do you know if someone is thinking about you sexually?
If you want to know if there is sexual tension between you and somebody else, then there are few telltale signs. One such sign is if they are always in close proximity to you and keeping constant eye contact. In these situations, your partner is showing that they want to be closer to you. In keeping eye contact, they cannot keep their eyes off of you, showing that their interest in you is genuine. In speaking of physical attraction, if both you and your partner are subtly touching each other, this is a sign of how the two of you feel comfortable with each other.
Another hint that they are thinking sexually about you is if your hugs with them last longer than usual. These intimate moments are a clear indicator that your partner values your presence and feels comfortable with you. Their comfort levels with you can be a hint of sexual attraction as well, but it’s important to not assume that this level of attraction is there. If you think they have sexual attraction for you, and you have the same feelings, then talk with your partner about the feelings. Do not assume anything, otherwise, it may fracture you and your partner’s honest and comfortable emotional connection.
How do I know if he's still attracted to me?
They are still attracted to you if they are spending a generous amount of time with you, whether that may be dinners or having long conversations over text. If you think that your partner is not paying attention to your physical appearance, then think about what they are paying attention to. Is your partner being attentive of your wants and needs? Are they asking about your day or listening to your thoughts? If so, then your partner is attracted to you as a trustworthy person. If you and your partner are in a group setting, do you tend to look for them often? If you find that you are searching out for them among a crowd, and that they are doing the same, this shows that the both of you see the other as a source of comfort in foreign situations. One more sign is if the other person’s feet are pointing towards you. It is a subtle sign that they are always thinking about walking over to where you are at any given time.
If you find that they only feel a sense of sexual attraction towards you instead of physical attraction or like you as a person, then choose the proper steps to ensure your own happiness. Even if you feel attracted to them sexually, this should not be the only role in attraction between the two of you. Talk to your friends about this kind of attraction and see if you feel comfortable with it. If not, confront your partner and discuss your honest thoughts about it. It is also a possibility to talk to a relationship counselor as well.
How can you tell if someone misses you?
You can tell if someone misses you if they talk to you nonstop after having not seen you in-person for a while.. When the two of you are not together, does your partner text you constantly? Are you two engaging in conversations where both of you are actively participating in texting one another? This shows that your partner is meaningfully responding to your messages, and in having both of you texting constantly, it shows that you are interested in continuing the relationship.
Let’s say for instance that you have been on vacation with your family for a week. During the vacation, are you texting with your partner frequently? When you get back, does your partner already have made plans for the two of you to meet? And once you finally meet up, do they smile constantly and maintain eye contact? In this scenario, your partner wants you to know that their affection for you is real.
How do you know if a guy thinks about you alot?
They are thinking about you a lot if they put thought into their conversations with you. If they bring up things you like or small details you mentioned previously but they remembered it enough to talk about it themselves, it shows that they want to make the best impression. Other signs are if they constantly are making plans to meet up and having dinner or if they give you thoughtful gifts that correspond to your personality. One more indicator is if your partner is always confiding in you thoughts about their day or honestly expressing themselves. These conversations show how your partner is comfortable with you, and thus trusts you. If you would like to know more about how you know if somebody is thinking about you, refer to the FAQ question: How do you tell if someone is thinking about you?
What is unspoken attraction?
Unspoken attraction is when two people feel attracted to each other, but they do not say it outloud. This attraction exists based on subtle or clear physical behaviors both parties exhibit when they are close to each other. The physical attraction part of this process can involve being close to somebody you are interested in without realizing it. Have you ever wondered why your hugs with that person last longer than usual, or that there was an extra squeeze during those hugs? This may be because of the unspoken attraction the two of you share with each other.
Other signs of unspoken attraction includes when you are constantly looking for them in large group settings. This gesture conveys that you feel comfortable when you see their presence. When the two of you are together, small details such as how loud you laugh at their jokes or the long conversations you hold with them shows that you not only feel attracted to them physically, but you adore their personality as well. Physical attraction is not the only factor in unspoken attraction. Being open and honest with somebody is a quality that is attractive to men as well as something attracted to women.
How do you know if you have chemistry with someone?
You will know if you have chemistry with someone because it will feel natural and comforting to always be with them. Romantic chemistry means having an emotional connection with another person that goes beyond having feelings for their appearance. Being attracted to sweaty persons has nothing to do with their appearance, but everything to do with how they are always emotionally available for you at any given time. This connection brings out feelings of fuzziness and coziness every time you are with that person. These feelings also exist when you are not with your partner. Have you ever found yourself walking through a park and finding something nice, such as birds drinking at a bird fountain, and you wonder how your partner would think about the scene? If so, this is a sign of chemistry.
How do you tell if a guy is hiding his feelings for you?
You can tell if somebody is hiding their feelings for you based on their interactions with you. If your conversations with them are usually energetic and talkative, but then they start being quiet, it is important to not take this as a sign that they are no longer interested in you. There’s a chance that they are silent because they have feelings for you, but are afraid to express them in case you do not share their sentiments. They do not want to ruin the good thing you two have, but you can be upfront and direct with the person.
If you also have feelings for them, be honest and open about it. If you don’t have feelings for them, then express that as well. While being direct and forward can be difficult, it is also the simplest way to understand both you and your partner’s feelings, and by doing so, the two of you can come to an understanding that will benefit your relationship.
How can you tell if someone finds you attractive?
Somebody finds you attractive when they are spending a lot of time with you. If you find yourself having long conversations with them or even after a meet-up, they are texting you constantly, these are signs that they find you attractive and want to talk to you often. Another indicator would be that they miss out on gatherings with friends and joining you if you ask that you want to have lunch with them at the last minute.
A person who is attracted to you will:
- Maintain eye contact for longer than necessary
- Look for opportunities to talk to you and spend time with you
- Text you all the time
- Smile and laugh a lot when they are around you
- Listen closely to you
- Become interested in things that interest you because they associate those things with you
- Seek you out when you are in a group setting to speak with you individually
- Spend time on your social media liking your posts, commenting, then maybe even mentioning your posts in person
- Look for opportunities to flirt and compliment you
- Mention your physical appearance, such as referring to you as good-looking, or well dressed
- Try to make you laugh
- Spend time on the way they look and present themselves around you so that they present the best version of themselves to you
Can other people see chemistry between two people?
Romantic chemistry is hard to define, but despite not having any words to describe the phenomena, it is apparent when two people have chemistry. You can see the chemistry manifest itself by observing how other people are interacting with each other. For instance, have you ever had dinner at a restaurant and glanced at a couple eating dinner together? During the encounter, they may have been laughing constantly, starting into each other’s eyes, and feeling completely at peace with one another. These are all obvious signs of physical attraction between two people. They love being in each other’s company and they wouldn’t give it up for the world.
Chemistry is more than just a science; it’s how people see each other. You can see this outside of romantic relationships. For example, maybe as you are walking in a crowded city, you came across a father and his son. Perhaps the son is riding on his dad’s back and the two are giggling without a care in the world. They don’t notice anybody else around them. To those two, they are each other’s whole world. So in short, it is possible for people to see chemistry between two people. It’s a wonderful feeling to have and there is a 100% chance that you felt this feeling as well already. If not with a loved one, then with a family member, good friend, or even pet. It’s a natural feeling that is not forced and cannot be forced. You know when you have found somebody to be with simply when you feel at peace when you and they are attracted to each other’s presence.
How do you know if two coworkers like each other?
You will know if two coworkers like each other depending on how they act when they are together as opposed to how they act when they are with friends or other coworkers. There are multiple tell-tale signs that indicate there is an attraction between the two people:
- When both coworkers are together, are they physically interacting with each other? Are they brushing up against each other, exchanging small jabs, and tapping the other’s shoulders when they have something to tell them? The body language present here is a clear indication that there is attraction between two people.
- Now hear me out here, but have you noticed if their feet are pointing to each other? Before you click away, let me explain my logic. When somebody’s feet are pointing towards something, that something is generally what they are interested in at the moment. So if your coworker’s feet are pointing towards another coworker, that’s a good sign of attraction between two people. If the coworker’s feet were pointed towards the door for instance, then the coworker is not interested in the person they are talking to and are thinking of moving away at a moment’s glance.
- Lastly, how do they act when they are with friends and away from each other’s company? If they are together, do they act rambunctious, energetic, and maybe even intimate with a dash of sexual tension? And when they are with friends, do they act the same? On another hand, do they act shy when they are together but with friends their confidence is restored? The lack of confidence may demonstrate their fear in admitting their feelings to one another. It is a sign of body language that the two have hidden feelings for one another.
Simply put, your coworkers may show their feelings for each other in a variety of ways. They could be energetic with each other or perhaps they’re shy but still cute together. Regardless, there is no one set sign that instantly means two people like each other. It’s all about the subtle details and how they feel when they are the only two people in the room.
What is it called when two people like each other?
When two people like each other, there could be so many different meanings behind their feelings. It can be anything from a personal friendship to a romantic fling. Or perhaps their personalities are just so that they are always beaming and brimming with positive energy, even around strangers or colleagues. They may love each other, either as friends or lovers, but love nonetheless. How do you feel when you are with friends or family? Think back to moments with a loved one, where you shared a special moment together. While there is nothing romantic about the feeling, there is still a strong connection of familial love that bonds the two of you together. Your feelings for another person is a connection that you should value deeply.
This can also be referred to as romantic chemistry as well. Pay attention to their body language. Are they gazing at each other’s eyes constantly? Or in a hypothetical situation, if they are in a crowd, do their eyes wander to meet the other’s gaze? These instances show that the two look to each other as a source of comfort in a room filled with strangers. Romantic chemistry, or any other kind of bond, they all share the same core concept of that feeling when two people like each other. Simply put, when two people like each other, it’s called an emotional tether that bonds the two of you. No matter what happens, even if you separate, that connection will never go away. That connection may also make you into a much better, stronger person as a result.
What does it mean when two people love each other?
When two people love each other, there are a myriad of emotions that can describe the phenomenal. In one sense, it could mean that they trust each other completely with everything. They feel that they can be open and honest about any part of their lives, from the most mundane trifles to significant moments. Their love can also mean that they found their second half, so to speak. For all their life, they’ve been missing something about themselves but after finding each other, they now feel complete. Together, they can brace for whatever challenge that they must endure.
Love is a special gift that should be treasured, no matter the bond you have with the other person. Even if you went through a horrible break up, and you don’t know if you can recover from it, know that the bond you had is one that made you into who you are at this present moment. And that bond will help you find somebody else who is much better for you.
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