10 Signs A Man Is Emotionally Attached To You
By: Russ Womack
Updated March 10, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
- Dr. Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPCC
He can't stop thinking about you. He'll go to the moon and back for you and will do whatever it takes to make you feel happy, safe, and loved. Unlike women, who like to express themselves with words, men may hide their true feelings, including the fact they are emotionally attached to you. So, in order to know if a man is emotionally attached to you, you can look for the subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs.
What is Emotional Attachment?
Emotional attachment doesn't happen overnight. In a healthy relationship, it takes a while, and it happens in stages. The first stage is called the friend attachment. He cares about you deeply, but only in a platonic way. In other words, at this stage he just wants to remain friends with you. You're not doing anything romantic; you hang out with other people like mutual friends, and the communication between you two is minimal, with maybe a text here and there to see who in your group of friends is doing what for the weekend. There's no jealousy when you see each other around other people; you're simply there to have fun.
The second stage is the physical attachment which is based solely on looks and chemistry. Basically, you're attracted to each other and you act upon it, which means the attachment has become physically intimate, or at the very least flirtatious. You're holding hands, kissing, or flirting. In this stage there isn't any depth to it other than physical contact with each other.
Lastly, we have emotional attachment, which is the final stage of attachment where the two of you are bordering on a deep and meaningful relationship. You share funny stories of what happened at work and discuss the bad days when everything seemed to go wrong. You talk about childhood dreams and your future. Hours go by in what seems like minutes, and conversations flow easily from one to the other.
Now that we've established what emotional attachment is, let's look at some of the signs.
10 Signs a Man is Emotionally Attached to You
- He Goes Above and Beyond for You
When a man is emotionally attached to you, he'll do practically anything for you to show you his feelings for you. He'll drive 2 hours just to see you, he'll pick up your favorite dinner "just because", he'll fix that broken faucet or change the oil in your car-over and over and over again. And he'll never tire of wanting to please you; in fact, he looks forward to the next time he can help you. He's waiting at the chance to help you and be your knight in shining armor. Need your weeds pulled? House painted? Need to go to the store to buy stuff for dinner? He's there for you every single time, without fail.
2. He Contacts You Every Chance He Gets
Whether it's calling, texting, or messaging, you're bound to receive a ton of communication from him. Why? Because you're constantly on his mind, and he wants nothing more than to hear your voice or receive a text or message back from you. He's emotionally invested in you, so he'll make time for you as well. This is especially true with men, because men naturally tend to focus on the things that they care about the most, and one of the most common ways they'll do that is by taking time out of their day and keeping in contact with you.
3. He Wants You to Meet His Friends and Family
Unlike friend attachment, where you both are hanging around mutual friends, with emotional attachment he wants you to meet his personal friends and his family, and he wants to meet yours as well. This is a good indicator that he sees you as long-term material.
- He Likes Spending Time With You
He not only likes to spend time with you, but he really, really likes spending a lot of time with you. This is one of the most obvious signs he is emotionally attached to you. He'll use his free time which is usually reserved for relaxation and hanging out with his friends or family, for you. You've now become the priority to him when it comes to his relationships.
- He Remembers the Important Things
Let's be honest-men for the most part aren't the best at remembering things. Studies show that nine out of ten men will forget names and dates - and age doesn't make a difference. Whether a man is in his 30s or 60s, he's more likely to forget things than women. However, if he has an emotional attachment with you, he will certainly try to remember all of the important details that you've told him. What once was arduous for him to do has now been placed at the top of his list. He'll not only remember the important things, but he will make sure you receive those things as well, like going to your favorite restaurant, or buying the chocolate or perfume you love.
- He Opens Up and Lets His Guard Down
Many men are behind the curve at opening up and letting their guard down, while others are downright awful at it. Whether it's the way they're wired, childhood abandonment issues of feeling left, betrayed, or rejected, or whether they were hurt in a past relationship after opening up, men tend to guard their feelings. If he feels close enough to you to drop his guard, he's not only emotionally attached to you, but he's more likely in love with you as well.
7. He Wants to Commit to You
If you were to ask the majority of men, they'd tell you that they aren't afraid of commitment; rather, they're scared of committing to the wrong woman. So, if the guy you're seeing is pushing for commitment, it's a sign that he's emotionally attached to the point that he thinks you're the one for him.
- He Asks You for Advice
It's a well-known fact that it's like pulling teeth for men to ask for directions. The same goes for asking for advice. Many men see having to ask for advice as a weakness. If he's asking you, not only does he trust in your answer, but he also knows he can come to you for anything. Whether it's what tie he should wear to his job interview or what color he should paint his house, your opinion is important to him, and asking your advice is yet another way he wants to include you in his life.
9. He Sticks Up for You
A man who is emotionally attached to a woman will defend her, even if it means losing the close people in his life like friends and family. This is because when a man is emotionally invested in you, he will instinctively do what he can to protect you.
- He Doesn't Leave You When Things Go Sour
One good indicator to find out whether a man is emotionally attached to you is if he sticks around and is there for you during the tough times. A man who is not emotionally attached to you will have a greater tendency to leave you when the going gets tough; but a man who really cares about you will stay around and be there for you through thick and thin, and good and bad times.
Warning Signs of Unhealthy Emotional Attachment
Just like there is healthy emotional attachment, there is also unhealthy emotional attachment. This is when the attachment becomes obsessive. People in unhealthy relationships, even though they might be hurting and suffering, often continue the relationship, seemingly unable to end it. They feel attached to one another even if there is no love between them. They show signs of codependency, in turn feeding the negative emotional attachment. Here are some warning signs of unhealthy emotional attachment:
- You can't be with the other person without panicking
- You fell in "love" within a couple weeks
- You get highly anxious when you don't get an immediate call or text back
- You automatically think they've lost interest in you if they're not contacting you all the time
- You're jealous and suspicious of their activities
- You overthink everything they do
- You sacrifice your family, friends, and your hobbies for them, with no rationale for doing so
- Your friends tell you you're too attached
Seek Professional Help
Having a healthy emotional attachment is a positive and nurturing thing. But when the emotional attachment becomes an obsession and preoccupation, then it might be time to seek help from a mental health professional.
ReGain is always available to those in need of help. Whether you're attracting men who have an unhealthy attachment toward you, or you have the tendency yourself to be emotionally attached in an unhealthy way, know that you are not alone and that we at ReGain are here to help you work through it. With Regain, you can speak with a therapist 24/7, seven days a week. With chat, text, phone, and video chat options, you can speak with a therapist in a way that is most convenient for you.
You can contact ReGain by clicking here.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Do You Know a Man Is Emotionally Attached?
A man has an emotional connection when he is attracted to you big time! When a guy wants to talk to you all the time and see you, he is developing an emotional attachment to you. Sure, guys can be quietly attached to someone or even secretly in love. However, most of the time, an emotionally attached man is vocal about it.
How Do You Know If a Man Is Invested in You?
A man is invested in you when he is attached. Signs of an emotionally attached man include:
- He likes spending time with you
- He calls or texts you often
- He is not seeing other people; he only wants to be with you
- He goes above and beyond to make you feel special
- He asks for your opinion
- He wants to hold your hand, cuddle, and be close to you
- He is completely honest with you
- He would do anything for you
Do Guys Feel Emotional Connection?
Men feel emotional connections just as much as women. While the divorce rate in the United States may be 50-percent, all of those individuals at one time felt a strong emotional connection with their partner. Whether that feeling lasted and why it did not can be for a multitude of reasons.
A man is typically in love when he is emotionally connected to someone. While horoscope entertainment pieces may speak of finding a loved one or soon finding love, men who get emotionally attached feel so much more than just the definition of a word.
How Do I Get Him Emotionally Attached?
The easiest way to get a man emotionally attached is to show him that you genuinely care for him and want to have a romantic relationship with him. A girl will most likely not get a man emotionally attached by being friends with benefits or acquaintances. While it is possible that a man may fall for you in these cases, the chances are less likely.
Do Guys Get Attached After Kissing?
Most guys do not get emotionally attached simply from kissing; however, it is one of the signs of an emotionally connected relationship.
Kissing is a simple way to let someone know that you care about them enough to want to be that close. While it is not the sign of complete love, people in like and lust will often kiss each other.
How Do You Know If a Guy Thinks About You Alot?
Emotionally unavailable guys do not think about you a lot. The difference between emotionally attached men and emotionally unavailable men is when he:
- Thinks about you a lot
- Talks about his love life with his friends
- Talks about how he wants to spend the rest of your life together
- Takes care of you
- Puts you first; lets his guy friends come second
- He is like open books when it comes to sharing his past with you, current feelings, hopes and dreams
What Makes A Man Fall Deeply in Love With a Woman?
No one knows precisely what makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman, but when it happens, it’s magical. Men who are deeply in love are giving lovers; they are never a selfish lover.
The law of attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on at that time. When a man keys in on you, he doesn’t put anyone before you. He is 100-percent devoted to making you happy and sharing his life with you. His goal is to have a long love life with you and you only. You are a lucky girl when you find a man that is devoted to making your life special. Building a relationship takes time, but finding true love can happen in an instant.
How Does A Man Feel When He Falls in Love?
If you were to ask a relationship expert, a man feels completely fulfilled when he falls in love. Love is not merely friends with benefits. Love is wanting to be with you and only you.
Signs of an emotionally secure and loving man include:
- He is not afraid to show his love for you in public.
- He says “we”, more than he says “you” or “I”
- He always puts you first.
- His actions say more than his words.
- He does things that he hates because you like them.
- He enjoys surprising you.
- He enjoys being with you
- He looks forward to seeing you.
- You have been introduced to all his friends and family
How Does a Man Feel When He Is In Love?
A man in love is so much more than a horoscope entertainment column. A man in love feels content and comfortable being with you. He wants to share his life with you and only you. He would put his life on the line or take a bullet if it means that you would be protected.
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