A Quick Guide To Couples Counseling Techniques
This article will go over couples therapy techniques and what they aim to help couples within their relationships. We will go through the basics but most of the time overlooked by couples. You can also take this as relationship 101 if it helps.
Communication is one of the foundational aspects of a marriage or intimate relationship; it's also where most relationship problems stem and these issues can be severe. If communication is not healthy - for example, partners aren't listening to each other - relationship problems can arise. Misunderstandings are a problem in relationships, particularly if one partner isn't bothering to meet the other halfway. Through the process of learning to communicate with your partner, communication can be improved in relationships. One of the best ways to improve communication is to see a couple's counselor who can give you techniques to help you communicate better, stop misunderstanding each other, and help you manage misunderstandings more effectively should they arise in the future.
In every relationship, we want to have our emotional needs met. In the early 20th century, Doctors treating children with infectious diseases made a huge discovery. They noticed that the youth who weren't around other human beings died more often. Isolation impacted these children and their health. Out of this discovery came further developments about attachment. The psychological studies about attachment are what we rely on for many things today, including how couples relate to each other.
Babies are born dependent on their mothers. That's when attachment and bonds start developing. There are situations where children don't feel loved by their parents, and that can cause severe emotional damage and impact attachment. These wounds are painful and cause children to have emotional scars on adulthood and romantic relationships and attachments.
Many adults struggle with attachment issues, including fear of abandonment. These are some of the problems that come up in couples therapy. But one of the problems that arise in romantic relationships is when one person feels that their needs aren't being met. It's an even more significant issue when both couples feel their emotional problems aren't being addressed.
When couples fight, and there's a communication breakdown, there are usually underlying issues surrounding their issues with intimacy or attachment. Thankfully, couples therapy techniques can help you and your partner deal with communication issues and address how to listen to your partner, value their needs, and meet them. There's a balance between meeting your partner's needs and having your needs met, and it all starts with communicating your emotional needs, which is facilitated through couple therapy techniques
Couples counseling techniques that help with communication
Imago relationship therapy is a kind of counseling that combines Western psychology with a spiritual practice. Using this couples therapy technique, your therapist will look at the entire situation from a bird's eye view rather than each problem itself. When people are experiencing emotional unrest in a relationship, they'll be angry at one another. It's essential to figure out where these angry feelings come from so that your communication can improve. Using the Imago technique, your counselor helps you understand that each person in the relationship will communicate differently. It's essential to accept that your partner expresses yourself in their way, just as you express yourself in yours.
Imago therapy is highly structured. When the partners are communicating about difficult issues, they feel confident in stating their needs. There are certain principles that the couple understand. One fundamental idea in Imago therapy is that what an individual says is their truth. You cannot tell them that they're wrong because it's their reality. They deserve to have their viewpoint heard and respected. Both perspectives are real and valid. You might not agree with what your partner says, but that doesn't make it "wrong." It's how they perceive the situation, and it is real to them.
Another concept within Imago therapy is communicating with respect for the other person. You want to avoid three things: shame, blame, and criticism. Your job in the therapy session is to communicate what is real and authentic for you, but you don't have to blame your partner. You do not have to make them feel shameful about what they did, and it's not productive to criticize them. Think about how you want to be treated and treat your partner with the same level of respect.
Unconscious Problems: Finding the cause
Couples therapy techniques sometimes need a bit of background on the unconscious cause of the problem, so it's essential to bring to the surface what's bothering the two people whether they realize it or not. There can be problems in a relationship that the couple are unaware of, making it difficult to combat the issues. Maybe, one person was abused during their childhood, and that abuse impacts the way they relate in intimate relationships. It could be that one person struggles with anger and they're not sure where it's coming from or why they're taking it out on the other, or it could be that one of the individuals in a relationship was unfaithful and it caused jealousy for the other. It's vital to get to the root of where your problems come from, and that's where couples therapy can help.
Emotionally-focused couples therapy
Dr. Susan Johnson developed emotionally focused couples' therapy, and it's also helpful for family counseling. It's practiced worldwide. It's a short-term type of treatment, and it's focused on getting to the root emotion that's bothering the people in the relationship. When people get heated, they have an emotional response, and that can happen with your partner. Emotionally focused therapy for couples has a 70-75% success rate for relationship recovery between partners. In this form of therapy, your therapist helps you get to the root of your problems. You might not know the source of your feelings, and that's the point of this form of therapy; to uncover the issue underneath. Sometimes it's challenging to figure out the core issues because they're not visible, but working in EFT will help you and your partner gain insight into what's causing distress in your relationship. The goal of EFT is to confront these deep-seated issues and face some tough emotions. Your EFT therapist will help you do that.
EFT is a type of couples' therapy that Dr. Johnson developed in the 1980s. It's backed up by the research on attachment theory and how adults become attached. During the past 15 years, Dr. Johnson has worked on the model of EFT and fine-tuned it by conducting various studies. Not only is EFT used with couples, but it's also highly useful with families as well. The studies indicate that 90% of patients who have engaged in EFT demonstrate significant growth, and their symptoms improve.
A popular goal in couples therapy approaches is to get closer to your partner. You want to feel close to your partner, and that can be on many levels. One of the most important ways to feel connected to your partner is through emotional intimacy, but it can be scary to open up to someone and be vulnerable. That's why working on these issues in couples therapy can be invaluable. There are intimacy exercises for couples you can do to get closer to your partner, and one of the forms of therapy that can help you do that is the Gottman Method. The Gottman method has been around for three decades, and it's still going strong. It allows couples to match their partner's joy, worries, and hopes for the future. They build what's called Love Maps. And this helps you and your partner get closer together by developing mutual respect and understanding what's important to your significant other. The Gottman Method focuses on emotional intimacy.
The reality is that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Couples are trying to stay together, but these are depressing statistics. It takes a lot to have a healthy marriage, but one thing matters are that the couple care about each other. The Gottman method exists to support both couples and families. One of the goals of the Gottman Method is to assist couples in learning to be vulnerable and love each other. Part of emotional intimacy is the concept of vulnerability.
Every couple will experience conflict in their relationship. It's a normal part of being in a committed relationship. That's why couples therapy can help you. You can see a couple's counselor in your local area or find an excellent one online. Online therapy is an excellent place to gain insight into your partner. And the counselors at ReGain can help you and your partner communicate, become more intimate and develop these skills for being close. You'll also begin to understand what the root causes of your relationship problems are. If you want to help your relationship, consider trying online counseling and learning more about how types of couple counseling work.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
What is the Gottman Method Couples Therapy?
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an approach to couples therapy developed by John Gottman and his partner Julie Gottman. Many would consider Gottman Method Couples Therapy to be one of the best couples therapy methods. Studies have shown it to be effective for improving intimacy and connection in all types of couples.
The Gottman Referral Network is an excellent resource that can help locate a nearby couples therapist trained to provide Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
What is the best therapy for couples?
For many individuals, couple therapy provides a safe space to discuss challenges, explore underlying emotions and build tools for healthy communication. There is no one type of therapy couples respond the best to. Each pair will have to determine their specific needs and what kind of support they are looking for in navigating relationship issues.
John and Julie Gottman developed it after extensive research about what makes a relationship work and what makes them fail.
Another type of therapy that may be beneficial for couples is called emotionally focused therapy EFT. This method is grounded in attachment theory. EFT has been proven to positively impact an individual’s emotional management and responses, enhancing functioning within a partnership.
How do you counsel a married couple?
Marriage counseling may be beneficial for many couples facing obstacles in their partnership and are willing to make an effort to make the relationship work.
There are various methods that a couples therapist may utilize, such as the Gottman Method. Through this approach, couples are guided towards cultivating respect and compassion for each other. The Gottman Method is based on the Sound Relationship House Theory, which posits nine components that comprise a thriving partnership.
What questions are asked in couples therapy?
Couples counselors may ask questions about what problems the couple is experiencing, levels of intimacy in the relationship, and what each person envisions for the future. In therapy, couples are given a safe space to explore relationship issues and conflicts, express emotions, and develop a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives.
What is the #1 cause of divorce?
The main cause of divorce in America is financial problems, particularly poor communication around money. Other common marital problems include infidelity, substance abuse issues, and lack of sexual intimacy.
Willingness to seek support for relationship issues is crucial, as it demonstrates a commitment to making the relationship work. If you and your partner are experiencing challenges in your marriage, you may consider seeking the support of a couples therapist or marriage and family therapist. Regain is an online platform that offers couple therapy with a licensed therapist from the convenience of your own home.
What is the Gottman repair checklist?
The Gottman repair checklist lists phrases organized into the following categories: I Feel, Sorry, Get to Yes, I Need to Calm Down, Stop Action, and I Appreciate. Individuals can reference the list to select a constructive way of expressing their thoughts and emotions without igniting an argument with their partner. It is utilized as a tool in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Many couples have found this approach to relationship therapy to strengthen intimacy and connection within their partnership effectively. In Gottman Method Couples Therapy, couples work towards developing essential aspects needed for a healthy relationship.
What techniques do marriage counselors use?
Is the Gottman Method worth it?
What is the most effective form of couples therapy?
What are the 4 approaches to couple Counselling?
How do you make a relationship last 6 tips from a couples therapist?