Six Common Approaches In Couples Therapy And How They Can Help Your Relationship

Couples therapy is a great way to make sure that your relationship can stand the test of time. Every couple has problems at some point, and sometimes it takes an outside person to help you through those trying times and come out on the other side with a stronger relationship.

There are many different avenues that a couple’s therapy can take, depending on your situation. There are four main types of counseling approaches, and each can be applied to couples therapy in different ways. It can help you understand the different counseling approaches that your couple’s therapist might use, including different types of couple counseling.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy or couples counseling is when a couple seeks mental health treatment together from a licensed professional. Most people go to couples therapy because they have a specific topic or set of topics they want to talk about as a couple, such as infidelity, mistrust, or a lack of communication. However, some couples choose to get counseling to strengthen their relationship without a specific issue in mind. For example, a couple may choose to attend premarital counseling, or they may go to counseling to work on affection, emotional expression, family planning, or concerns related to parenting.

Counseling is not one-size-fits-all. Every couple out there is unique, so it only makes sense that there’s a vast assortment of approaches that can be used in couples therapy or counseling.

Four main types of counseling approaches

There are four main types of counseling approaches, which are often used in couples counseling. With each type of counseling approach, there are various methods used in individual and couples counseling.

Psychodynamic

Psychodynamic counseling was first developed from the research and findings of Sigmund Freud and is based on the idea that true knowledge and understanding is possible by understanding three human mind areas: the conscious, the unconscious, and the subconscious. The idea of this counseling approach is that by bringing the unconscious and subconscious into the conscious, the three elements of the mind are working in harmony.

Humanistic

The humanistic counseling approach is based on the belief that it is not life experiences that cause problems but how one experiences these events. How one experiences life then also affects how one thinks about themselves and others. Therefore, humanistic counseling approaches aim to explore thoughts and feelings to work out solutions to their problems.

Behavioral

Behavioral counseling is based on the effect environment has on a person’s behavior. Counselors who use this approach believe that behavior is learned, and therefore, it can be unlearned. It focuses on specific techniques aiming to change unwanted behaviors. For couples struggling with behavioral issues from one or both sides of the relationship, this can be effective.

Integrative

An integrative approach to counseling takes some elements from each of the other three types of counseling approaches. The idea behind an integrated approach is that there is some truth to each of the three types of counseling approaches. Only a combination of the three will be effective in treating the whole person or relationship.

Six counseling approaches for couples therapy

This is not an extensive list of the counseling approaches and methods that might be used in couples therapy. However, it may give you a starting point for understanding how a therapist might initiate and conduct couples counseling.

Emotionally focused therapy for couples

EFT or emotionally focused therapy for couples is a highly regarded and well-researched modality. It is an example of a humanistic approach. Developed in the 1980s, EFT is very much so what it sounds like. This form of therapy focuses on emotions, emotional responses, and, in the case of romantic partners, creating positive patterns of interaction and strengthening the bond between the individuals in a partnership. 

Cornerstone approach

The Cornerstone Approach developed and researched by counselors with Howard University is an integrative counseling approach to couples counseling. This approach is based on four cornerstones of a good marriage or relationship. These four cornerstones are resiliency, social support, adaptability, and self-fulfillment. These cornerstones are defined, explored, and reinforced to allow couples to reach fulfillment individually and together.

Relationship enrichment

The Journal of Counseling Psychology published a study by E.L. Worthington et al. in 1997 about strategic hope-focused relationship enrichment counseling. This is a humanistic approach to couple’s therapy. This method is for couples who already have a healthy and stable relationship and want to strengthen and enrich that relationship to new heights. 

The study showed that it was extremely effective, and overall outcomes for those who did enrichment therapy were better than the control group who did not have the therapy.

Walker’s model

Walker’s model used in couples therapy is a behavioral approach to couples counseling designed for couples who face violent or angry behavior from one or both partners. The method includes both individual and couples counseling to address, understand, and change behaviors personally and in relationships, and couples counseling interventions play a role in the improvement of every couple's relationship.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) if you or someone you know is experiencing abuse. The hotline is available 24/7, and chat options, as well as information on abuse, how to create a safety plan, how to support others, and more, are available at https://www.thehotline.org/. 

Postmodern narrative therapy

A post-modern approach is a humanistic approach to couples counseling. According to a Counseling Psychology Quarterly study, this approach works best for couples from different cultural backgrounds, though it may also be helpful in use with couples from different economic backgrounds. 

This approach evaluates thoughts and behaviors in the context of their culture or background and the story they have written for themselves. This can help couples go through challenges together because it can bring a new understanding of the relationship. You can also learn more about your partner and how they relate to you and the world around them based on their background.

Behavioral couples therapy

According to the National Institute of Health, behavioral couples therapy is a treatment approach developed specifically for couples where at least one partner has a substance use disorder. It attempts to reduce usage by restructuring destructive couple interactions that often lead to substance use. 

Behavioral therapy will be part of the individual’s treatment plan, a strengthening of the relationship, and an understanding from the other partner about their partner’s illness and how it might be managed. Cognitive-behavioral techniques might also be used, such as those found in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps restructure harmful thought processes alongside challenging behaviors.

If you or someone you know lives with a substance use disorder or might be, please contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.

Choosing the right counseling approach for you

Choosing the right counseling approach is often largely left up to the counselor or therapist you and your partner decide to see. After an introductory session where the counselor gets to know you and your partner and why you seek therapy, they can decide what counseling approach will work best for you and your situation.

If you want to suggest a counseling approach based on this information and your situation, this may be helpful for your therapist. Even if they do not want to take that approach, you suggesting it will give them more insight into what you feel the problems are and how you believe they might be addressed. Additionally, if they don’t work with the approach you need or the concern you want to address, a therapist may be able to refer you to someone who does.

It is also okay to look for a therapist without knowing what approach or modality you want a therapist to use. You can look for a provider who works with couples as a whole or someone who specializes in the concern you and your partner want to talk about. Asking questions about a therapist or counselor’s experience, the approaches they use, and any other questions you have about how they work as a provider can help you see if they might be a good fit for you.

As with any therapy or counseling, of course, remember that the same approach doesn’t always work for all couples and situations. Sometimes, the beginning approach does not give results, and another approach is tried midway through therapy. This is normal, and there’s no need to feel discouraged. If you and your partner find that the first therapist you see isn’t the right fit, it is perfectly okay to seek a new one. When you find a professional that you click with, it can make a world of difference.

Online couple’s counseling with Regain

When you get therapy through Regain, you can have a group chat with your partner and your therapist through text, voice, or video. All you need to participate in is a smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Regain also offers individual counseling for those who wish to work with an online therapist or counselor one-on-one. The platform makes it easier and faster to start services and change providers if you need to.

Online therapy has been found to be just as effective as in-person therapy for a range of treatment options including couples therapy. Research suggests that online intervention methods can help to remove barriers typically faced by couples who wish to seek treatment.