4 Signs Of A Hopelessly Broken Marriage

By: Jessica Anderson

Updated April 15, 2021

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Constant Negotiation

Arguing Instead of Discussing

Obstacles That Cannot Be Overcome And Will Lead To Divorce:

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  1. Physical Abuse: There is no excuse for physical violence or abuse. If one partner acknowledges that they are physically or mentally abusive and refuses to change or get help, then there is no hope for saving your marriage. The abused partner has no choice but to seek separation and/or divorce in order to protect themselves and the children (if there are any) from the abuser. Moving out has to be planned meticulously. You need to take the bold step, with rescue plan put in place; tell a trusted friend or someone in your family what you are doing, and where they can reach you. For your own safety, try not to just disappear. 
  2. Financial Control: If one of the partners refuses to allow their partner more financial control even after counseling, then the relationship or marriage should be discontinued. The financially controlling partner usually views himself/herself as the one who is correct, and they likely do not take their partner's needs and wants into consideration. If you plan to leave, you'll need to have your own finances, so consider making some financial changes, such as taking paper checks instead of having them directly deposited into your joint account, before you leave.

  3. Infidelity: If one or both of the partners in a marriage resorts to having an affair, the marriage can often be salvaged with counseling and forgiveness. However, multiple affairs even after counseling and empty promises regarding future behavior can cause trust to be genuinely broken. It is unhealthier to stay in a marriage with infidelity, jealousy, and anger, than it is to simply leave and start anew. 

  4. Lying: Some people are so used to lying that it becomes second nature to them. If counseling and therapy do not change the liar's behavior, it may be time to consider separation or divorce, rather than entertaining how to fix a broken marriage. Within a marriage, lying may start out as a series of little, inconsequential lies that you can ignore and make excuses for. As time goes on, however, you may see an escalation in this truth avoidance which can indicate a broken marriage. Counseling for both partners is necessary to repair the eroded trust. But if one partner refuses to acknowledge the lies or refuses to change, divorce is likely the healthiest choice.

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