How To Fix A Broken Marriage Without Counseling At The Office

Medically reviewed by Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC
Updated April 30, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

There may be many reasons why counseling at the office isn’t a viable option for you. Perhaps there isn’t a marriage counselor in your local area, or you don’t have reliable transportation. Maybe you and your spouse don’t feel comfortable with the local therapists, or their office hours aren’t compatible with your schedule. It’s possible that cost could be a barrier to treatment, or that you’re worried someone you know might see you at the therapist’s office. There are generally two ways to fix a broken marriage without counseling at the office: working through your problems on your own and meeting with a therapist online.

Is it possible to fix my marriage without counseling?

Fixing a broken marriage without counseling at the office: Two options

When you realize that you may have a broken marriage and need help, you may think of a therapist as just another type of doctor. You may envision visiting that therapist in an office with people sitting in the waiting room, judging you as you walk in. This can especially be an issue if you seek to avoid recognition from people you know. Perhaps you imagine the receptionist must be wondering what’s wrong with you, and the other couples could be thinking about whether your relationship is in worse shape than theirs.

Alternatively, the therapist’s cost or location could be a barrier to getting professional help. It could also be that you and your spouse have met with local therapists and don’t feel that they’re the right fit.

No matter the reason why you may not feel that counseling at a therapist’s office is a viable option for you, there are generally two alternatives you may consider. 

Do the work on your own

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The first option to fix a broken marriage may be to work through your relationship problems on your own. If both you and your partner are willing to put in the effort to improve things together, this can be effective. You might begin by seeking resources and tools online or through your local library. 

One basic suggestion can be to schedule a weekly date night. A date night can make a big difference in a relationship that may lead to little moments of intimacy throughout the week. By setting aside time to spend together enjoying each other’s company, paying attention to each other, and growing in intimacy, you may notice a shift in the way you feel about each other and your relationship.

There can be thousands of suggestions online in addition to date night, but the problem can be that many couples who are almost ready to give up on their marriage may be unlikely to be able to resolve their conflicts on their own. There may be resentment, anger, and pain hidden under the surface of their relationship that can be challenging to move on from.

However, that is not to say that it is impossible to fix a broken marriage. There may be married couples out there who are having issues and simply never learned how to productively problem-solve as a team. They may also be two individuals who are capable of applying the right tools and knowledge to these issues to eliminate them from their marriage and go on to lead a happy life and have a healthy relationship. 

If you believe you may be one of these couples, marriage “counseling” that is conducted at home and without a therapist as a guide generally entails personally conducting research about marriage issues and methods of working through them. Once you have conducted research and obtained resources such as books, workbooks, worksheets, planners, and other tools designed to make the process easier, you will typically need to sit down together and do the work. This can take time, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t notice immediate results. The most important thing is generally that both of you remain committed to the process and open to getting professional help if working through things on your own doesn’t seem to be working out after a while.

Try online marriage therapy

Is it possible to fix my marriage without counseling?

If the method described above does not seem appropriate for you and your spouse, the second solution can be to skip the office altogether and seek a therapist who can help you over the internet. The quest to find a therapist can be quite daunting, but there are often many types of therapy offered online at a variety of price points, whether you’re looking for help with your own mental health or seeking professional advice on how to improve your relationship with your partner.

Not only can online therapy add convenience to the marriage counseling process, but it’s often cheaper than in-office sessions. Plus, an online therapy platform can make it easy to switch therapists as needed until you find someone you and your spouse both feel comfortable with.

This study investigated the effectiveness of online couples therapy in comparison to the effectiveness of traditional in-person couples therapy. It found that these two options generally had the same rates of efficacy, meaning that whether you go to marriage therapy at a therapist’s office or attend sessions online from the comfort of your home, you can rest assured you’ll be getting the high-quality professional help you deserve.


If you don’t want to try in-person marriage counseling, or if it’s not accessible to you, there may be other ways to improve your relationship with your spouse, even without counseling at the office. You might work through your problems yourself with various resources, or you could try online therapy with a licensed marriage therapist. Either way, the most crucial thing is usually that both you and your spouse are committed to working together to fix your marriage.

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