The bond shared between husband and wife or spouses can be part of one of the most beautiful, of value relationships an individual experiences in life. However, this doesn't mean marriage is perfect – all relationships have their ups and downs.
Despite this reality, it’s still important to understand when you should draw the line with your husband or spouse. When a marriage becomes a barrier to your happiness, the continuation of the relationship may be at stake.
"We all deserve to be with someone who treats us kindly. The echoes of a partner's harsh words can often be heard for years to come. Respect yourself enough to know when it is time to stand up for yourself. That may mean becoming more assertive, or it may mean moving on." - Aaron Horn LMFT
A generically successful marriage will most likely be built on respect, love, and communication. However, as the years of marriage pass by, one spouse may tend to take their partner for granted. This could result in saying things or doing things that ultimately could lead to disrespect or even the disappearance of the feeling of love and intimacy.
#1 They Don’t Make Time For You
Spending time with each other is a crucial aspect of marriage. If your partner doesn't make time for you, whether it be for conversations with you or even just catching up with you, then it is a possibility that they may have begun to take your presence in their life for granted.
#2 They Don’t Tell You Things
Keeping a spouse in the loop is a basic sign of respect and value for their time, care, and wellbeing. If your partner frequently keeps things from you, whether deliberate or not, it might be time to talk about how these actions make you feel undervalued and the consequences they have for you and them.
#3 They Don’t Introduce You
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. You should also notice how your spouse behaves in front of their social circle with you on most occasions rather than in one-time scenarios.
If they are with their colleagues or friends and they fail to introduce you or bring you into the conversation, then it could show you that they’re not as interested in or value your input or involvement as they should be.
#4 They Only Take Care Of Themselves
A good spouse shows respect and value for you. They will be concerned about you, what you need, family, and the household.
However, sometimes a partner may only be concerned about their wellbeing, health, or material needs. It is essential to understand and notice this difference.
Sometimes, the people we care about become engrossed in their own lives. Other times, they may fail to understand you or appreciate the importance of what’s going on with you.
You might feel hurt, and hence in such scenarios, it can be best for you to have an open and honest conversation to realize their point of view.
#6 They Make You Feel Less Than
A spouse that makes you feel less than desired or not of value may not be respecting you. However, it is important to understand the difference between when they truly mean it or when they speak out in a moment of anger towards you.
#7 They Are Derogatory
Spouses who do not value the other often make derogatory comments either to the face or behind the back. This could include comments on your physical appearance, career path, or even the kind of person you are.
#8 They Hide Things from You
Hiding things from you, especially important things is generally inappropriate behavior.
A partner who hides things may be carrying out acts that you generally wouldn’t approve of; they violate your trust by performing these actions, but also by working hard to keep them secret from you.
#9 They Treat You As Though You Don’t Matter
Sometimes spouses may treat you as if you do not matter or are not valued in their lives. No one should have to feel not valued by someone they love – if your spouse treats you like anything less than the partner you are, it may be time for you to take a step back.
#10 They Never Take Your Side
Sometimes spouses fail to stand by their partner in times of trouble, but those who often show indifference to your struggles do not offer any help to you cross the line between normal human error and genuine disrespect.
Interacting with friends of any gender is not necessarily a problem, but when social interaction becomes flirty, racy, or otherwise more than spiritual, it’s valid to be concerned.
#12 They Comment Negatively On Your Appearance
Does your husband or spouse make fun of you and your clothing choices or something else? A healthy relationship should not cause insecurity or make you question your value; instead, it should be a bond that uplifts and supports you.
#13 If They Don’t Help You
If you face struggles and your husband is not willing to help you, that can cause concern in your relationship. If the partner is not offering to help you independently, you could also try asking for help. However, if help is unavailable to you despite avoidable reasons, you may need to rethink your situation.
#14 They Aren’t Polite To Your Friends And Family
While it is true that not everyone will get along with everyone else, if your husband cannot be bothered to be polite to your friends and family, it could be a sign that they do not respect you or value you as much as they should.
Marriages are about a 50-50 partnership, and partners must share their joys, happiness, and even material goods with each other.
#17 They Give You The Silent Treatment
Often people use the silent treatment which may make you feel alone or completely cut off from their life. This can be a troubling sign in a marriage or any relationship.
#18 They Ignore Your Boundaries
Every relationship must have boundaries to differentiate between what is comfortable or acceptable and what is not. This needs to be respected and valued by both you and your partner.
Marriage is often based on compromising for the happiness of the other or for the relationship to succeed. However, both you and your partner must be equally compromising to ensure that there is a balance in the relationship.
If you feel that you are the only one compromising, stand up for yourself, draw a line and stop doing it – especially if it hurts you!
When You Know To Draw Your Line
While reading the article, if you noticed any of the signs mentioned present in your marriage, it could indicate a disrespectful or abusive relationship.
Consider that abuse doesn't necessarily mean physical violence. If you or someone you know could be in domestic violence or abusive situation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).
Please remember that you do not deserve to stay in an abusive situation and that help is always available to you.
You must take note of these issues and speak to your partner openly and honestly. You could also opt for relationship counseling and therapy to discuss you and your relationship and work on it.
ReGain is an excellent tool to use to gain access to counselors that focus on relationship issues. They will provide you with the necessary support and space to voice out your concerns, stand up for yourself, and reach solutions in your marriage.
Here are reviews of ReGain counselors to read from people going through similar issues.
There is no reason to put up with disrespect in your marriage or feeling that your partner doesn't value you. You deserve to feel valued in any relationship. Once you notice the signals of not feeling valued, you should get help from a professional counselor. With the right tools, you can start to repair your marriage, and begin to feel valued by each other again, regain respect, and you can learn how to move forward together.
How do you deal with a disrespectful husband?
First, recognize the signs of disrespect that are present in your relationship. What hints of a disrespectful partner do you notice? Have a conversation with your spouse about the specific hints of disrespect you notice in your relationship. The best thing to do is seek help from a professional to deal with a disrespectful husband to address the hints of disrespect. A licensed counselor or therapist won’t be biased, so they’ll be able to see hints of disrespect for what they are.
How does a husband show respect to his wife?
To show respect to your wife, show interest in her, and allow her to make her own choices.
Control is a sign that he doesn’t respect you, whereas allowing you to make your own choices is a sign that he does. If someone in a marriage or relationship tries to isolate you, it’s a big sign that your partner or husband doesn’t love you or that he doesn’t respect you.
How Do I Stop Disrespectful Behavior?
If you ever feel that your husband is disrespectful but may not realize that he is doing so, it is important to talk about it. The same is true if you think that you see hints he doesn’t love you. If the disrespectful behavior is genuinely a mistake, a behavior change will occur. Disrespect should never be attributed to “this is how I joke” or “this is just who I am.”
How Do You Treat Someone Who Disrespects You?
A disrespectful husband does not get to continue to disrespect you, and if you see warning signs that this relationship is unhealthy for you, you have every right to make a request or get out of the situation. Whether it’s a disrespectful husband or a disrespectful boyfriend, there are times when you’re not sure if you should stay or go. You will know what the best option for you is. Listen to your gut, and don’t ignore a bad sign if it shows up.
Why is respect important in a marriage?