Signs Of Disrespect In Marriage: When To Draw The Line

By: Ashley Brown

Updated August 04, 2021

"We all deserve to be with someone who treats us kindly. The echoes of a partner’s harsh words can often be heard for years to come. Respect yourself enough to know when it is time to stand up for yourself. That may mean becoming more assertive or it may mean moving on." - Aaron Horn LMFT

It is a fact of life that no marriage is perfect, but where do you draw the line? A successful marriage is built on love, respect, and communication. Do you know what it means to respect your spouse and to be respected in return? There might be some surprising ways that your spouse disrespects you and your marriage that you have not considered. If you are having problems in your marriage, a lack of respect could be the ultimate root cause. Here are some signs of disrespect in marriage that could alert you that changes need to be made in your relationship.

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Signs Your Husband Doesn't Value You

#1 They Don't Make Time For You

If your spouse does not make time for you, they do not respect you. Your spouse should take the time to spend with you in conversation and activity alike.

#2 They Don't Tell You Things

If you frequently find out things about your spouse or their day from other people, it is a sign of disrespect in marriage. 

#3 They Don't Introduce You

When you run into friends and acquaintances, you should be introducing your spouse to them and including them in the conversation. Failing to introduce your spouse and carrying on a conversation as if they weren't there is very disrespectful.

#4 They Only Take Care Of Themselves

A good spouse that shows respect for their partner will be concerned about the needs of their partner, their family, and their household. Only having care for your own needs without regard to your spouse or the household is extremely disrespectful to your marriage and family.

#5 They Don't Acknowledge Your Accomplishments

Not acknowledging what you have accomplished in your career, your household, or in some other way, is a sign that your spouse does not respect you.

#6 They Make You Feel Less Than

A spouse that makes you feel less than desired or needed is not respecting you. When your spouse is quick to make you feel as though you are less than you should be, it is a serious sign of disrespect.

#7 They Are Derogatory

Derogatory comments either to your face or behind your back are both very disrespectful. This sign of disrespect can often cross the line into emotional abuse and gaslighting. 

#8 They Hide Things from You

When you respect someone that you are in a relationship with, you must be open and honest with them. If your spouse is hiding things from you it is a sign of disrespect. 

#9 They Treat You As Though You Don't Matter

Does your spouse make you feel as though they wouldn't care one way or the other if you were still around tomorrow? This is a sign of disrespect.


#10 They Never Take Your Side

Part of being respectful in a marriage is standing by your spouse. If your spouse never takes your side in anything involving friends, family, career, or other situations, it is a serious sign of disrespect. 

#11 Inappropriate Social Media

When your spouse is having conversations with social media contacts that are flirty or sexual, it is a serious sign of disrespect.

#12 They Comment Negatively On Your Appearance

Does your spouse make fun of your clothing choices, your hair, your weight, or some other aspect of your appearance? Not only is this very disrespectful in a marriage, but it is also plain hurtful.

#13 If They Don't Help You

If you hit a struggle and your spouse is not willing to help you, it is a serious sign of disrespect.

#14 They Aren't Polite To Your Friends And Family

While it is true that not everyone will get along with everyone else, if your spouse cannot be bothered to be polite to your friends and family, it is a sign that they do not respect you enough.

#15 They Are Unwilling To Share

Marriage is supposed to be 50/50, and that means with everything. If your spouse is always unwilling to share their things, this can be a sign of disrespect. 

#16 They Don't Listen To You

When you have something to say to your spouse, they should be willing to listen. If your spouse will never listen to anything you have to say, or if they flat out refuse to let you speak, this is a serious sign of disrespect. 

#17 They Give You The Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a tactic used by many narcissists, and it is a clear sign of disrespect. The silent treatment is designed to make you feel completely cut off, and when done frequently, can be a form of emotional abuse. 

#18 They Ignore Your Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries. If your spouse refuses to respect your boundaries, this means that they also have no respect for you.

#19 Your Partner Refuses To Compromise Or Negotiate

Marriage is all about compromise. If your spouse has my way or the highway attitude and refuses to discuss things with you or negotiate, this is a sign of disrespect.

Learn How To Create Healthy Boundaries
Speak To A Board-Certified Marriage Therapist Today.


When To Draw The Line

If many of the signs mentioned are present in your marriage, it could be an indicator of an abusive relationship. Remember that abuse does not necessarily mean physical violence. You must address these issues as soon as they arise, set healthy boundaries, and expect your spouse to stick to them. Remember that you should never receive abuse of any kind. Certain types of therapy can help you learn how to change your behaviors when interacting with each other. This can assist you in beginning to repair your relationship with your spouse.

If you aren't able to find or afford a marriage counselor in your area, you can easily take advantage of online counseling options. Online counseling allows you to speak to a licensed therapist from the comfort and privacy of your own home. ReGain is one such online counseling platform that focuses on relationship counseling. Here are reviews of ReGain counselors to read, from people going through similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"Cori is very insightful, thoughtful and fair. It seems like she get both sides of our couples therapy. I would highly recommend her to anyone, especially couples. She has helped my wife and I improve communication, mutual respect and get through some hard times."

"Dr Diai is insightful, professional and very compassionate. She is capable of turning arguments and conflicts around and bring light to the conversation, always respecting the different points of view. My husband and I are so grateful to be assigned to her to help us through this challenging period in our lives."


There is no reason to put up with disrespect in your marriage. Once you notice the signs, you should get help from a professional counselor to fix the issues that are plaguing you. With the right tools, you can start to repair your marriage, regain respect, and learn how to move forward together.


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