The Importance Of Being Happy With Yourself Before Dating

By Hailey Davis|Updated June 16, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By EmeliaThygesen, LCMHC, LMHC

How often have you heard it said that it is impossible to make someone else happy if you aren't happy with yourself? Maybe you've heard that you have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you or before you can truly love someone else. Though many people hate to admit it, there is truth in both statements. Before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with who you are as an individual. If not, the lack of happiness re-emerges and shows itself in ruinous ways in your romantic relationships. This article will explain why being happy with yourself, especially before dating, is so important.

People who base their happiness on their relationship status or their romantic partner often find themselves in a failed relationship after a failed relationship. Their relationships usually fall apart due to themselves placing too much pressure on their partner to mend a hole that should have been amended before starting the relationship. This is why it is so important to be happy with yourself before dating.

Why You Should Be Happy With Yourself Before Dating

Being Happy With Yourself Can Be Challenging Sometimes
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Understanding the importance of being happy with yourself before dating is a critical step in building a healthy relationship with another person. You can function with less psychological and emotional luggage. Additionally, you can have more logical expectations of your partner. There are several benefits of working on yourself. Each one improves who you are as an individual, directly impacting the person you will be in a relationship with.

You Know Your Self-Worth

One of the main and most important benefits of focusing on being happy with yourself before dating is that you can know your self-worth. Relationships tend to cause people to relinquish so much of themselves for their partners when that person is already insecure to begin with. This causes them to lose touch with their personal value. It unknowingly becomes a habit to seek validation from the person they are with, which is not a healthy trait.

Knowing your self-worth allows you to realize that you are complete, even outside of a relationship. Additionally, recognizing your self-worth creates a level of immeasurable confidence - understanding the importance of being happy with yourself before dating is a critical step in building a healthy relationship. You can understand when your partner is making you upset, and you have the confidence to speak up about the issue so they can make changes.

Being confident in yourself can help prevent feeling taken advantage of and help your partner understand what hurts your feelings. When you value yourself, others will value you as well. You set the standard of how you are viewed and treated by how you view and treat yourself. So, before you start dating, make sure you know your worth and what you can bring to the table in a relationship.

You Know What Your Preferences Are

Everyone has preferences. Whether it concerns food, musical tastes, or relationships, people know what they like and what they don't. Another benefit of being happy with yourself before dating is that you know what your preferences are. You are more conscious of anything that poses a threat to your sense of personal happiness.

When you know what you prefer, you'll make better life and relationship choices. You're able to avoid situations that stunt your personal growth and overall well-being. Furthermore, knowing what your preferences are will help put an end to superficial relationships. You won't waste time investing in relationships with people you are uninterested in and with who you do not enjoy spending time with.

You Will Be Able To Have A Healthier Relationship

People who aren't happy with themselves are often plagued by insecurities and trust issues that stem from low self-esteem - being happy with yourself before dating builds confidence and security that isn't dependent upon someone else. The need for constant reassurance is nonexistent. It is hard for someone to take away something that they didn't give to you.

Happy people attract happy people. As opposed to your relationship being viewed as a sole source of happiness, it will enhance the happiness that you've already created within yourself. This will allow for a healthier relationship. One that isn't built on the unrealistic expectations of your partner being solely responsible for your personal happiness.

How To Love Yourself

In addition to being happy before dating, you have to know how to love yourself. Genuinely loving yourself is one of the greatest gifts that you could ever give to yourself. Knowing how to love yourself will also help you love others. Here are a few things that can happen when you know how to love yourself:

  1. You are happier
  2. You take better care of yourself, mentally and physically
  3. You no longer feel the need to compare yourself to other people
  4. Higher self-esteem and a positive self-image.

All of the results of knowing how to love yourself will attract the type of people and relationships that you want and deserve in your life. Self-love is the greatest love that you will ever experience. So, how do you build a love for yourself?

Spend Time Being Single And Getting To Know Yourself

Everyone wants to have someone in their life to love and who loves them. However, being single for a little while allows you the time to get to know yourself. If you are already single and feel that you want to discover and develop yourself, enjoy this time by yourself. It is possible to grow and find yourself in a relationship, so don't feel the need to get out of a relationship that you enjoy being in. But, if you are single, don't feel pressured to jump into a relationship, as this could hinder your self-development. Before knowing who they truly are, people in relationships can forget to focus on themselves and their growth. This happens to people sometimes because they become so focused on their partner and make their relationship work. Coming out of a relationship or already being single, it is important to take your time to get reacquainted with who you are.

Each relationship you are in will change you somehow, whether you notice it or not. Before getting into a relationship, learn how you have changed and how you want to develop. What did you learn about yourself during your past relationship? How has the breakup affected you? Is the person you've become, as a result of the relationship, someone you are proud of? Ask yourself these questions and set out to completely understand who you are before getting into a relationship again.

Find Acceptance For Your Insecurities

According to Ken Page, loving ourselves means we have to accept our insecurities. In the past, if our differences were ever met by discontent, anger, or teasing, we become insecure about those parts of us. So, he recommends sharing your insecurities with someone who loves you, like a friend or a family member, to help you feel more comfortable with yourself. Remember, insecurities are a part of life. Everyone is insecure about something. Some people know how to hide them better than others. So, don't be afraid to share your authentic self-flaws and all.

The only way to overcome your insecurities is to accept them. Some insecurities and flaws can be changed, while others are going to remain. Be sure to accept your flaws so your insecurities do not affect your future relationships. Acknowledging and accepting your insecurities will help you have a better mindset about yourself and better your relationships, whether romantic or not.

Compliment Yourself

A great habit to form is complimenting yourself. Sadly, many people find it easier to praise others than to praise themselves. Love yourself enough to take the time to elevate yourself. Do you like your hair today? Are you happy with your outfit? Did you make a great dinner for yourself? Learn to see the positives about yourself and recognize them. Complimenting yourself is such a great way to help boost your self-esteem and eliminate insecurities.

If you find it hard to compliment yourself in the beginning, try using positive affirmations. Write down a few compliments and affirmations. Please place them in locations throughout your home. The bathroom mirror and refrigerator door are ideal because you will see them several times a day. You can also compliment yourself out loud when looking in the mirror. This is a sure way to make it easier to be happy with yourself before dating again. Why wait for someone else to tell you how amazing you are when you can do it yourself?

Cut Out Anyone Who Intentionally Feeds Into Your Insecurities

It is senseless to act like everyone you come across will take the time to assure you of your value and point out that your insecurities are invalid. Some people will intentionally feed into your insecurities. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to cut ties with those people. Often, it stems from the insecurities that they are battling within themselves. These relationships enable your negative behaviors and thought patterns. A lot of times, these people use your insecurities for their own benefit. If you are currently in a relationship and your partner makes you feel insecure, please consider attending relationship counseling to help get your relationship back on track to being more positive.

Make it a habit of being around people who uplift you, not people who are constantly pointing out your flaws and shortcomings. Healing is hard when people that reopen wounds surround you. Be firm in your resolve. An explanation isn't necessary for the personal decision that you have made. However, if someone asks why you have distanced yourself from them, be honest. A person who genuinely cares about you will respect your choice or make changes to their behavior.

Find Happiness With Yourself

Being Happy With Yourself Can Be Challenging Sometimes

Dr. Russell Grieger explains seeking happiness in a great way. He says you cannot hope that the "Happiness Fairy" will come to you. You must take steps to find happiness in your life and to find things that make you happy. So, the importance of being happy with yourself before dating cannot be expressed enough. Dedicating time to your happiness will make you more confident and secure in your relationships. Love yourself. Treat yourself the way that you would want someone else to treat you. A happy, healthy, loving relationship with yourself is the most rewarding relationship you will ever have.

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