How To Become A Happy Person In Your Romantic Relationship

By: Gabrielle Seunagal

Updated March 16, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers

In the best of worlds, all romantic relationships would contribute to happiness and warm feelings. Of course, there are many people who are happy in their romantic relationships, but this is not applicable in all scenarios. Sometimes, a romantic relationship is missing certain elements or factors which facilitate happiness; in other scenarios, two people in a romantic relationship may be improperly matched with one another. Regardless of what the case may be, it's imperative for individuals in romantic relationships to also be happy individuals.

A Brief Overview of What to Look for in Romantic Relationships


Many individuals are eager to be in romantic relationships and there's nothing inherently wrong with this; however, it is deeply important to be aware of precisely what to look for in romantic relationships. In many ways, this will significantly contribute to the levels of happiness you experience with your partner.

Shared Values

Each individual is unique and will therefore have their own thoughts, feelings, values, and opinions. When you enter into a romantic relationship, certain differences are inevitable and there's nothing wrong with that. There are certain instances where opposites attract; however, with that being said, any romantic relationship which is going to last and generate happiness needs to have partners who also share some similarities.

In any romantic relationship, one of the most important similarities that both individuals need to have is shared values. The values of an individual determine the choices they make, how they interact with others, the plans they set for the future and so much more. If you and your romantic partner have starkly different values, that's going to cause problems in the relationship. By contrast, if you and your romantic partner share similar values, this will not only contribute to happiness, but it will also make long-term growth in the relationship much easier.

Four Ways to Become a Happy Person in Your Romantic Relationship

Healthy, romantic relationships which last for the long haul generally do so when both people are happy. Of course, nobody is happy all the time, but you should be a happy person in your romantic relationship more often than not. The following tips and strategies should prove to be of value on various levels as you work towards blending happiness and romance.

Don't be Afraid to Spend Time Apart Sometimes


In romantic relationships, the urge and instinct to bond with one another is often present and quite understandable. However, too much of a good thing can quickly become toxic. Remember, all things in moderation is key. This doesn't mean that you and your significantother can't travel together or spend long periods of time with each other. Not being afraid to spend time apart on certain occasions means that you don't always have to be in one another's company.

There is some truth in the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Spending time apart from your romantic partner can mean that you both have interesting stories to share with one another once you're back in each other's company. In both the short-term and the long-term, this contributes to you being a happy person in your romantic relationship because you have balance.

Work Through Challenges Together

All romantic relationships hit rough patches at one point or another. What often determines the trajectories of these relationships and the happiness of both parties is the manner in which rough patches are dealt with. Challenges can tear people apart or bring them closer together. The manner in which you deal with challenges in your romantic relationship will determine how events play out and whether or not you're happy in your relationship.

In addressing challenges in relationships, providing context is very important. Working through challenges in relationships matters; however, the nature of those challenges must be taken into account.

If the aforementioned challenges entail disagreements, not seeing eye-to-eye, or issues of a similar nature, then by all means, work through them for the sake of happiness in your romantic relationship. On the other hand, if the challenges in your romantic relationship deal with any type of mistreatment or abuse, then exiting from the relationship as swiftly and as quickly as impossible is imperative. It's impossible to be happy in a relationship where you are mistreated or abused by the person who is supposed to love and care for you.

Accept One Another as Individuals

A significant part of being happy in your romantic relationship involves both you and your partner accepting one another as individuals. Each person is unique and acceptance, or lack thereof, will largely impact the quality and longevity of any romantic relationship. Differences, in moderation, can be amazing elements which add new dynamics to a partnership. Furthermore, being accepted by your significant other feels good for both parties and allows for them to bond with one another.

Be Faithful


Faithfulness in a romantic relationship breeds happiness for multiple reasons. First and foremost, this allows for you to know that you can trust the person you're with and that they can trust you. Secondly, when you're faithful to your significant other, this builds character and helps you strengthen your levels of personal discipline. There will always be challenges and temptations which present themselves in life and in romantic relationships; what ultimately speaks volumes about who you are is how you deal with challenges and whether or not you give into temptation.

On the Flip Side

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to become a happy person in your romantic relationship. Healthy romantic relationships are comprised of happy individuals; however, it's important to know that you alone cannot carry an entire relationship. Romantic partnerships which thrive and succeed ultimately do so because both individuals are committed and willing to put in the work, even when it's not the easiest thing in the world.

The fact of the matter is this: all romantic relationships have ups and downs. There will be good times and bad times, just as there will be happy moments and sad moments. If you're doing all the work in your relationship and pulling the entire weight of attempting to be happy while your significant other does virtually nothing, that's deeply problematic. Romantic relationships which will succeed can only do so when mutual efforts are present. You can follow each of the four steps listed above, but if you're in the wrong relationship with the wrong person, your happiness is unlikely to last for very long.

Don't Rush the Process

Society has a tendency to place a lot of weight and emphasis on romantic relationships and being in romantic relationships. Again, there's nothing wrong with being with that special someone, but don't rush the process. So many people have been led to believe that they have to be in romantic relationships and that something is wrong with them if they're single. This actually couldn't be further from the truth.

As you strive to become a happy person in your romantic relationship, always remember that the person who you are involved with will have a significant impact on your happiness in the relationship. Ideally, your partner should also be following the steps listed above.


Sometimes, finding the right person to be in a romantic relationship with takes time and life experiences. Living your life and letting romance find you is sometimes the best protocol. Some of the best romantic relationships can happen when you least expect them and are not fully preoccupied with romance.

Waiting and holding out for a romantic relationship with the right person is infinitely better than rushing into a romantic relationship with the wrong person and trying to force yourself to be happy. Follow your instincts and always remember that various events in life happen in due season and precisely as they're meant to.

Resources for Relationship Struggles and Other Issues

If you are dealing with complications in your relationship or struggles in other areas of your life, this can absolutely take a toll. Thankfully, there are options for help and available resources which you can take advantage of. Complications and struggles in life present themselves to all people in various manners; what matters most of all is the ability to rise above these issues and not ruminate on them or allow yourself to be defeated.

If you are interested in getting help or even simply having someone to talk to, signing up for online therapy with ReGaincan absolutely change your life. Working with an online therapist opens a variety of doors, including the ability to get help and guidance from anywhere in the world. With an online therapist from ReGain, you will know that you're not alone. Having the right specialist to confide in is not only great for your mental and emotional health, but it also provides a new outlook on your situation.

At the end of the day, challenges don't have to get the best of you. You can face them, conquer them, and come out on the other side stronger than ever. You also don't have to do this on your own. The tools, knowledge, and growth which accompanies working with an online therapist are invaluable, irreplaceable, and paramount to your happiness in life and in relationships.

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