How To Tell A Girl She's Beautiful: Giving Sincere Compliments

Telling a girl she's beautiful can require some amount of finesse. Simply blurting out, "You're beautiful," can certainly have its charm, but it can also suggest that the person in question is focused entirely on looks and fails to capture any of the essences of a person. Rather than telling a woman what you think she wants to hear, you may fare far better if you take some time to get to know her, then offer a compliment that is both sincere and involved. Doing that can be easier said than done, but there are some things you can do to find ways to deliver meaningful compliments that have the potential to brighten a woman’s day now and well into the future.

Why compliment sincerely?

It can be tempting to consider compliments a one-size-fits-all endeavor; surely anyone wants to hear that they are beautiful, right? Although most people may appreciate being told that they are physically attractive, these types of compliments can also feel insincere, generic, and grasping, as they do not require you to get to know someone at all before they are delivered. After all, you can just as easily tell the commuter on the train next to you they’re beautiful just as you can the woman you've been dating for eight years. 

Therein lies the potential importance of giving sincere compliments. A compliment that makes a true lasting impact typically takes some consideration, recognition, and kindness. Specific and personalized compliments can make any person feel special and make them aware that other people see them that way, too. 

Sincere compliments can also be important because they can help forge intimacy between two people. Telling a woman, "You look so beautiful when you smile," can be far more intimate and personal than simply saying, "You're a beautiful woman." One could be said of a billboard, while the other implies some amount of familiarity and affection. Sincere compliments often bond people together, while generic or insincere compliments may do little to make a person feel seen or appreciated.

How to tell a girl she’s beautiful

Complimenting a beautiful girl is much the same as complimenting a person of any gender: your goal likely is to be considerate, sincere, and thoughtful. Below are some suggestions that might help you craft a compliment that emphasizes someone's unique habits, traits, and features.

1) Find something unique about her

Identify something unique about the girl you want to compliment and focus on that in your compliment. She might have a single freckle right on the bridge of her nose, or she might seem to almost dance with her hands when she speaks. Identifying something about her that is unique can allow you to tell her she is beautiful in a way that you cannot tell anyone else. 

2) Identify beautiful traits

Rather than just acknowledging that a woman has a full head of hair, full lips, or an appealing figure, find the personality traits that make a woman beautiful. Traits can include intelligence, wit, compassion, creativity, passion, and conviction, among other examples. If you see any of these traits in the woman you are trying to compliment, hone in on them to let her know that you’ve noticed the things that make her unique.

3) Focus on actions

You can tell a woman she is beautiful based on her behavior. If you notice that she volunteers at her local animal shelter, you can identify that as a beautiful part of her. If she makes a point to see her elderly grandparents at least twice per month, you can let her know that you find her compassion, love, and empathy to be wonderful, beautiful qualities. Focusing on her actions can shift the focus from her physical appearance and encourage her to appreciate traits and behaviors that she actually has control over.

4) Take yourself out of it

Perhaps one of the worst ways to compliment someone is by complimenting them according to what they do for you. "You make me so happy," "You make me a better person," etc., might seem romantic at the outset, but they can place all of the focus back on you and put a lot of unnecessary weight on the person you are complimenting. After all, why should it be her job to make sure you are happy or that you are a better human being? When complimenting a woman, make sure you compliment her for her, rather than complimenting her for what she can give you.

5) Aim to help her feel valued

Compliments are often best when they encourage someone to feel heard, valued, or truly seen. These types of compliments can be rare but are usually the most impactful and the most desirable. Showing a woman that she is valued can be done through something seemingly small, such as, "I really love how much you seem to care for your animals," or something larger, such as, "I am so humbled and impressed by how much time and energy you devote to serving your community and your peers."

The problem with physical-based compliments

Focusing too much on a woman's physical traits may seem to be a huge compliment, but it can become problematic largely because so many of these traits are not chosen. A woman cannot choose her skin color, the texture of her hair, or the shape of her nose – at least not without extensive and potentially dangerous surgical alteration. Focusing on traits that cannot be chosen or changed can place a lot of pressure on her and could make her feel as though your interest is primarily in her appearance, which may be subject to change. Conditional appreciation like this can feel shallow rather than impactful. 

Taking the time to tell a woman that you value her for far more than just the physical attraction she offers can be a great way to get closer to her without placing expectations on her. It can be an extremely important part of letting a woman know that you sincerely see her, value who she is, and want her to feel good about herself.

Generic compliments and their negative effects

Offering generic compliments can be relatively harmless, albeit fairly shallow, but doing so can become potentially harmful if you do so in the hopes of instigating a romantic connection. While there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with letting a woman know she looks nice, it may be better in some cases to keep it to yourself. Unwarranted and unprompted physical compliments like these may make a woman feel like she’s being seen as an object or a potential romantic or intimate partner rather than a human being. 

While it might seem as though any compliment is better than a generic one, this is not always the case. Many women may be used to receiving empty compliments in an attempt to impress or woo them, and this kind of treatment happening regularly can make seemingly generic compliments feel like little more than a weak attempt to gain her attention. 

It may help to ask yourself why you want to compliment the woman in question – are you hoping she’ll return the favor, or perhaps accept your offer for a date? Do you simply want to let her know how you feel? Do you generally enjoy uplifting and supporting others? If your reasons for complimenting her are personal, it might help to take a step back and consider how you can shift your perspective. Remember that your goal likely should not be to make her feel obligated to respond positively, but instead to genuinely appreciate and feel empowered by your compliment. 

Instead of telling her she looks nice, for instance, you might realize that the reason you think this is because she has on a cute outfit or has done something interesting with her hair. Focusing on elements like these can communicate that you really do see her as an individual. 

Finding support

Ultimately, complimenting someone can be a matter of interpersonal communication, and if your interpersonal communication skills are rusty, compliments may be similarly frustrating and confusing. Communication skills can be honed and improved through practice by researching how to better relate to and speak to people. 

Solutions like consulting a therapist or counselor can help you develop strong communication skills via practice and eradicate unhealthy communication habits you might have developed over time. Online therapy options may make it even easier to find someone to talk to, as you can join sessions on your own time from the comfort of your own home.

Research suggests that online therapy can be a more cost-effective way to pursue professional support than other options. That means you can save time, money, and stress by speaking to a therapist through the web. No matter your needs, it’s likely that a professional can help guide you toward achieving your interpersonal communication goals.

Takeaway

Offering sincere compliments is a skill that can be learned. Many people believe that quick, simple compliments are suitable for all occasions, but this is not always necessarily true. Although generic compliments might sometimes be appreciated, offering direct, unique, and tailor-made compliments can help the woman you are attempting to compliment feel you truly know her or value her unique identity. As with all things, practice tends to make perfect, and the help of a licensed therapist may make it easier to get started on the road to success.