11 Signs You Might Be Attracted To Intelligence

By: Tanisha Herrin

Updated August 04, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

Being attracted to intelligence means you're attracted to someone for more than just their looks. The attraction comes from being intrigued by a person's thoughts, perceptions, and how they use their mind. You're likely to get into interesting conversations where you share similar views and gain insight that's fulfilling and engaging. A person may or may not be physically attractive, but through one knowledge of things, one's mind stands out. Some view being knowledgeable, smart, or witty as sexy while being significant to romance even if it doesn't lead to a relationship.

Discover More About Being Attracted to Intelligence
Speak With A Board-Certified Relationship Therapist Online Today!
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

Source: rawpixel.com

What Does It Mean To Be Attracted To Intelligence?

One quality many agree with when asking what they look for in a partner is intelligence. A person may say they like someone smart, witty, or amusing. Such attributes make a person attractive for many reasons. It shows personal interests, knowledge, and skills a person possesses. It is likely you can carry on an in-depth conversation about something significant to both of your interests. Intelligence is a valued aspect of a person, but it can be expressed in ways that naturally make an individual unique. It's a form of attraction that can stand out more than someone's looks or physical appearance.

There is a term for this kind of attraction called sapiosexuality, when a person is stimulated by how someone uses their mind. A person with a sexual attraction to someone's mind is a sapiosexual. The element of being attracted to someone's mind may lead to sexual arousal or a physical desire. Studies continue to explore this concept. It affects men and women, while some use it to their advantage, either for seduction or personal gain. An attraction to someone's mind may bring something unexpected with an element of surprise or mystery. A downside is sometimes a person may be attracted to intelligence if they have low self-esteem or admire someone for intelligence; they feel they don't have it due to insecurities.

Signs Of Attracted Intelligence To Recognize

A person's intellect stands out more than their physical features. It helps understand what it means to be attracted to someone's intelligence because it shows how you value what others have to offer. Learning details may also help see if other people see you in the same way. As a sapiosexual or a person with an attraction to intelligence, you may notice the following signs:

1. You find deep conversations as a turn on. You are beyond intrigued at their thoughts and perceptions about life or subjects you share the same interest. You may feel a different level of attraction to them than anyone else.

2. You prefer someone intelligent, and they don't need credentials to prove it. You are more interested in their intelligence instead of what they do for a living. You find it hard to imagine how to live life with them, but the aspect of their thoughts is exciting to you.

3. You like challenging your thoughts. Exchanging your ideas and opinions via a debate allows for a deeper connection, and you want how they expand their mind instead of shying away from the subject. They show eagerness to share their knowledge while testing or enticing you, and you like that.

4. You want more than just a physical attraction. You would like to be physically attracted to someone, but you feel a good conversation is better. You want more than someone who is good looking. They may look good, but if they can't engage in exciting conversation, your time is better elsewhere.

5. Your attraction to someone increases as you learn more about them. You take your time learning about someone, which helps you ease into the relationship. You may catch on to little details about them that say much more about their character and how they view the world around them. How they resolve problems, use their words, display their emotional intelligence, and recognize their wit helps you appreciate them for who they are.

6. If someone isn't able to engage in a deep conversation, you're turned off. You find small talk unattractive and would rather sit with your mouth shut. You like conversations that take ideas to another level while leading to content such as questions that make new discussion points.

7. You admire someone when they can keep their cool in stressful situations. You like someone who uses their intellect to solve problems. You want to rationalize their feelings and control their emotions when things don't go their way.

Source: rawpixel.com

8. You think it's more interesting to meet someone at a bookstore. People often meet someone at a club or bar, but you don't visit either. A bar's atmosphere doesn't seem as appealing, such as being at a museum or a docuseries screening. You prefer to meet to connect with someone in an environment that encourages meaningful discussion among inquiring minds.

9. Listening is one of your best qualities. You value listening because you enjoy learning from others. You like when someone shares their knowledge about something they find intriguing. You can articulate what they are sharing while expanding your knowledge. You admire what they know and feel you could keep listening for ages.

10. You like someone with a taste for intellectual entertainment. You want someone into current trends, but they like small or intimate settings such as a bistro or venues featuring live music. They may not engage in activities with huge crowds, and you're okay with that. It is even better when you share the same tastes while gaining exposure to new things.

11. You want someone that will listen to you and not just hear your voice. You want to be heard, and it's great when you share a conversation with someone that wants to know your opinion. They are not just sitting waiting to take a turn to speak. They want to know your views, and you're able to pick up on their ability to listen easily.

Intelligence is an excellent characteristic to be attracted to, but it may have its challenges. It may take longer to find someone that's emotionally smart. Meaning, you may have to wait longer to find someone who fits this description if they are the type of person you want in a relationship. You likely will not settle for anything less, but you know it will be more rewarding, and you'll save yourself from being miserable. When going out, you'll spend more time with people you wouldn't connect with, but it is helpful when considering other ways to meet someone that fits your intellectual interests.

How Dating And Relationships Benefit

When intelligence is at the top of the list of attractive qualities, it makes things interesting. You may be surprised to learn someone else enjoys your company and feel flattered they want to get to know you better. You may learn even more about what you want in a person and love the idea of having someone with such qualities as a life partner. People gain a new perspective on relationships, especially if you've had to wait a while to establish such a connection or realize such a relationship was a bittersweet journey that opened up another side to your reality.

Discover More About Being Attracted to Intelligence
Speak With A Board-Certified Relationship Therapist Online Today!

Source: rawpixel.com

People may have doubts about their abilities but know what they want in a relationship. Knowing whether you can handle what you've always wanted and gaining further insight into what is necessary to build or maintain it becomes a question. Connecting with someone through intelligence may help deal with personal doubts and encourage a deeper connection with yourself. Many realize they are enough, and they can be comfortable in their skin. You realize you are a great person, and you deserve a smart partner capable of extending the qualities and values you have to offer.

Tips On Dealing With Sapiosexuality

Some may experience concerns about sapiosexuality that may affect how they understand their feelings and interact with others. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to intelligence, but it may require more patience when establishing a serious and steady relationship. You may end up talking to or dating people you don't connect with to find someone suitable. This is frustrating, but you understand it is necessary so you can connect with someone on a deeper level to achieve a bond with meaning. You may feel like giving up, but you are open to the challenge. Many find using online dating sites useful when considering dating options. You can provide detailed insight into what kind of person you want.

Many people do not understand sapiosexuals, so be prepared to be clear and detailed about what you want while sticking to your expectations. Spending time understanding yourself ensures your standards aren't too high, but you'll make better choices of who to spend time with to achieve the happiness you want. You may feel like you're alone, but others can relate. Share your thoughts and gain in-depth knowledge about yourself by talking with a counselor or couple's therapist that understands sapiosexuality.

An intelligent attraction can lead to an exciting relationship. The concept of being attracted to someone's mind is tantalizing and frustrating. It may take time to find that special someone, but spending time getting to know yourself will increase your chance of happiness with the person you deserve.

“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”

“Sarah has been comforting to me through a very difficult transition . She has helped me to regain confidence and listen to my intuition. She is a great listener and has encouraged me to rediscover and use my voice.”


Previous Article

How To Tell If You Are Attractive: 9 Ways You’re More Attractive Than You Think

Next Article

Not Attracted To Boyfriend Anymore: End The Relationship Or Try To Work Things Out?
For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns
Speak with a Licensed Therapist Today
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.