Whether it's your hot new coworker, your cute next-door neighbor who helped you move in, or a friend of a friend with a great smile, you probably wish there was a way to see exactly how he feels. Before you make a move to ask him out, there are things you can look for to determine whether your offer will be well received.
Signs of male attraction are mostly primal and performed unconsciously. He's probably not aware 99% of the time that he's displaying these signals. In this quick guide, we'll give you a head-to-toe list that will help you read men's body language of attraction. Once you know what to look for, it can be much easier to discern whether a guy is attracted to you. Some of these signs are subtler, and others are a bit more obvert.
The signs of physical attraction between two people are divided into three main categories: facial expression, body language, and behaviors. The types of signs displayed vary between the genders, with some overlap. Dating may not come with an instructional manual, but this guide can teach you the basics.
The Role of Body Language in Romance and Attraction
Throughout the animal kingdom, body language is an important part of the mating process. It's a way for potential partners to communicate their attraction and availability to one another. Humans may have evolved to communicate with language, but we still retain many primal ways of speaking with our bodies and faces.
Many of these signs of strong physical attraction are performed subconsciously – we're not aware of them; we just perform them instinctively. While everyone has different ways of flirting, body language is a universal part that we don't have much control over. It occurs automatically, without our effort, most of the time.
Overall, research has found that men display signs of attraction that are more forward and dominant. Women, on the other hand, appear more modest and gentle when it comes to flirting.
Now that we've established the role that body language plays in the courtship process, let's break it into categories.
Facial Signs of Male Attraction
Increased eye contact and attraction are strongly linked. If a guy is interested, he will probably attempt to hold your gaze whenever he can capture it. You might even be able to read his intentions by the way he's looking at you-intensely like he's trying to peer inside your head.
A more obvious sign is if you catch him checking you out when he thinks you're not aware. Whether it's a glance at your cleavage or a sweeping inventory of your entire figure, it's a clear sign that he likes what he's seeing.
One exception is if the guy in question is particularly shy. He may find it too intense to hold eye contact with you if he's very attracted to you or worry about the consequences if he gets caught staring at your body. With this type of guy, you may frequently notice him breaking eye contact and looking down.
This "smooth move" is a type of grooming behavior that indicates he's concerned with looking his best in front of you. He may slide his hand through his hair while the two of you are chatting, or he discretely fixes himself up when you walk away for a moment. You might even catch him checking out his own appearance in the nearest reflective surface to make sure that he's giving a good impression.
If you've ever read a romance novel, you may have noticed frequent usage of the phrase "crooked smile." That's no accident. Men will often display a crooked, flirtatious smile when speaking with a woman they're attracted to. This makes him appear warm, confident, and non-threatening, all desirable qualities to a mate.
Attracted Male Body Language
Researchers have identified certain signals a man interested in someone displays when he is sitting and having a conversation with them. If you notice a man is tilting his body toward you and pointing his feet in your direction, it's a sign that he's highly attuned to you.
Another type of grooming behavior, in addition to messing with his hair, is straightening his clothes. You might see him tugging on his buttons, straightening his tie, or adjusting his sleeve cuffs. These kinds of behaviors are subtle signs that he wants to look his best in front of you.
In addition to tilting his body in your direction, a man attracted to you may begin to mirror your movements subconsciously. This behavior is displayed by men and women who are interested in one another. We tend to feel more at ease and comfortable with people who display this mimicry from time to time. So if you notice during a conversation that he appears to be copying some of your movements, it could be because he's attracted to you.
Behaviors Related to Male Attraction
If you had the experience of a boy teasing you as a child, you were probably told that he was doing it "because he likes you." As silly as that sounds, it may not have been far off. Desire can do strange things to people.
Unspoken attraction can cause a great deal of tension and frustration, and some guys may resort to this behavior to express it. As an outlet, he may start teasing you here and there. You may even find yourself responding if there's a mutual attraction. As long as his comments don't turn mean-spirited, this can be an enjoyable way to flirt.
If he goes out of his way to talk to you, whether you work together, have mutual friends, or cross paths often in your daily routines, it's a clear sign he's interested in pursuing you. A guy who is not interested is not going to waste time or effort. This could also mean he really values your company as a friend, but if he's single and displaying other signs on this list, he's probably attracted to you.
This one harkens back to our primitive natures. Men have been found to display competitive behaviors when they are with a woman they're sexually attracted to and consider other men possible competition. He probably won't be aware of his feelings of jealousy, but it can still influence his behavior.
Examples include trying to get your attention by showing off on the job or bragging about his accomplishments, or cracking jokes that contain subtle put-downs to his friends. Or lifting something heavy like it was made of paper. While you certainly don't want to date someone who comes off as a complete jerk, these "peacocking" displays mean he wants to impress you.
Even a guy who usually doesn't experience much anxiety can become affected when he's in the presence of someone he's really attracted to. He may become distracted and self-conscious and find it hard to keep his cool. You may notice him stumbling over his words or wiping away sweat from his brow. Or you may even see his hands shaking a little. In any case, unless there's another obvious trigger for his anxiety, it can be a sign that you're having a profound effect on him.
Female Body Language: Signs of Attraction
It's worth noting that female body language is somewhat different from male body language. Being aware of your own body language when you're attracted to someone can help you understand yourself better and allow you to communicate the signals you give off loud and clear. Signs of mutual attraction can often play out like a dance between two people.
Women's flirting methods and displaying attraction tend to be less overt than men's, although research has shown that women are more attuned to picking up on signs of attraction from men.
Behaviors a woman displays when she's attracted to a man include:
Women also perform a lot of the same body language that men do when interacting with someone they're attracted to, including brief touches, grooming behaviors, and prolonged eye contact.
Struggling with Finding Someone?
Dating can be disheartening, especially if you've suffered through a breakup or rejection along the way. We develop ways of interacting with the people we're interested in that are influenced by our early attachment styles and defining moments in our lives.
Therapy can help you untangle these threads to help you better handle the source of any issues in your dating life. Whether it's feelings of insecurity after a messy breakup, continuing after a series of disappointing prospects, or just not knowing what you want, an experienced counselor from Regain.us can be your greatest ally. Click here to find the support you're looking for.
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Many body language signs can tell you if a person is attracted to you! Eye contact is one big indicator, as well as frequent smiles and laughter. An open posture and facial expression are also signals of attraction. Acting fidgety or nervous, or blushing and getting sweaty palms, is also a sign that someone is attracted to you. Casual physical contact and leaning in when you’re speaking are also signs of interest. Behaviors such as adjusting clothing and smoothing hair are clues that a person feels attraction towards you.
Even if a person is trying to hide their attraction for you, reading body language will give away their true feelings. Look out for clear signs of attraction, such as prolonged eye contact, making excuses for physical contact, and “greening” or “peacocking” behaviors like adjusting their clothing and smoothing their hair. A secretly attracted person may also act fidgety or show another sign of nervousness around you. Lots of smiling, laughing, and playful teasing are also indicators that someone is attracted to you, even if they’re trying to hide it.
There are several types of body language that show attraction. A woman or man’s body language gives away plenty of information about how they’re feeling regarding dating and attraction. Body language signals like eye contact, reduced blinking, dilated pupils and lifted eyebrows are a few signs. Lots of smiles, laughter, and “accidental” physical contact also show that a person is attracted to you. Adjusting clothing and running a hand through their hair are known as “preening” or “peacocking” behaviors, which means that they are putting to look attractive since they are interested in you.
There are plenty of ways to tell if a person is attracted to you based on body language signs. A body language expert might tell you to start by looking at their eyes. Prolonged eye contact, raised eyebrows, and dilated pupils are all evidence of attraction. A person might lick or bite their lips or look at your lips if they’re attracted to you as well. Open body language and facial expressions are also signs a guy or girl is feeling attraction towards you.
Unspoken attraction is just like it sounds: It occurs when two people are attracted to each other but don’t acknowledge it or say anything about it. But the body language of attraction is difficult to hide, even if nobody is verbally acknowledging it. There are many body language signs of unspoken attraction, such as prolonged eye contact, spending lots of time together, mirroring each other, and maintaining close physical proximity.
Sometimes it can be not easy to decipher a person’s body language of attraction. The human body is capable of communicating a lot through the actions of each body part, but sometimes the signal that men or women give off can be confusing. Are they just being friendly, or are they interested in you sexually?
Some telltale signs include eye contact or even staring at you, open body language, making excuses to touch you, getting jealous when other people pay attention to you, and acting especially smiley and flirtatious. In addition, someone may be thinking about you sexually if your intuition tells you that they are! If you’re feeling the chemistry and have a gut feeling that they are, too, that’s a great sign that you’re probably right.
If you think a person likes you but they haven’t yet admitted it, there are a few things you can do to try to encourage them to tell you how they're feeling. First, show some interest in them! Ask questions and really listen to their answers. Build trust in the relationship and show them that they can be vulnerable around you. You can also tell them how you feel and see what their response is. It’s not a good idea to try to force someone to admit they’re interested in you, but if you put effort into the relationship, they’re likely to reciprocate and let you know how they’re feeling.
If someone is confused about their feelings for you, they may act protective and caring towards you. They may get jealous if someone else shows interest in you or if you show interest in someone else. They may even lean in to kiss you and then pull away if they are feeling unsure! Generally, inconsistent behavior or acting “hot and cold” indicates that someone is not quite sure how they feel about you or fighting their feelings for one reason or another.