12 Signs A Man Is Attracted To You Sexually
Updated September 18, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault
If there's a certain guy you feel you have a connection with, you probably want to know if the feeling is mutual. Luckily, it's not hard to read how he feels about you once you know what to look for. Even if he's the mysterious type who has perfected his poker face, subconscious tells will still give him away; he can’t control it! Signs a man is attracted to you sexually are universal and hardwired into men's biological code. Knowing the signs a man is attracted to you allows you to gain confidence and insight.
The Importance of Mutual Attraction
Nature has made us attractive to one another because it's essential for the continuation of the species. You may like someone as a person but if you don't experience a mutual level of romantic attraction, there won't be much hope for the connection. It’s important that both people feel this mutual level of romantic attraction. This doesn't mean that you have to instantly feel fireworks go off when you meet a guy, but you should be open to the possibility of getting to know him better.
We've all had experiences where someone is attracted to us, but we don't reciprocate the feeling. This can lead to uncomfortable situations, especially if they continue to pursue us. Mutual attraction is important because it sets the stage for a successful relationship.
On the other hand, most of us have had the disheartening experience of being turned down by someone we were attracted to. You might have even had the experience where you’re making all the moves but the other person isn’t reciprocating or giving you a clear sign. That's why it's good to have a clear idea of what to look for when you're trying to determine if the guy you're interested in has the same feelings. It’s important to know whether or not he finds you attractive, because the street goes both ways!
If you feel like it's difficult to get a handle on how a guy feels about you, it may help you to know that research has shown that men may have a harder time than women recognizing signs of attraction. So, even if you know whether or not he finds you attractive, he might not be as perceptive to the subtle signs that you can’t stop thinking of him. Brain scans have shown that different parts of women's brains activate when they are evaluating the behavior of potential mates, which may make them naturally more intuitive.
12 Signs a Man is Sexually Attracted to You
Knowing the common signs a man displays when he's attracted to you takes the guesswork out of the situation. You won't have to constantly agonize over whether or not he's into you and you can decide whether you want to be the first one to make a move with confidence.
While just one of these signs may not mean he's necessarily interested in you, displaying multiple signals on this list is a good indicator of what is going on in his mind. These indicators are a great way to know whether or not a man finds you attractive.
- He Casually Makes Physical Contact
We're not talking about anything overtly sexual. He may briefly place his hand on your shoulder or the crook of your elbow. Or he may brush against you, seemingly on accident. While some men are just more physically forward, if these "accidental" touches happen frequently, you can be sure he's doing it on purpose. Or, when a man finds little excuses to casually make physical contact, that’s a good sign he’s attracted to you. This is one of the most obvious signs he is attracted to you.
- He's Always Looking Deeply into Your Eyes
If a man is sexually attracted to you, he'll probably frequently try to catch your gaze and hold it for an extended period. This type of eye contact radiates confidence and interest in the other person. While he may just be the friendly type, you can usually tell by the intensity of his stare how he feels. If he’s often making prolonged eye contact, that’s a good sign he’s attracted to you.
His eyes can also express his feelings in different ways. He may raise his eyebrow playfully when you two are chatting. Or you may spot him staring at you from across the room and smile when you catch him. If he’s talking to a group of people but makes the most eye contact with you, that’s a big sign he’s focused on you and that he finds you attractive.
On the other hand, if the guy you're interested in happens to be the shy type, you may notice a distinct lack of eye contact. He may break eye contact repeatedly, looking down self-consciously. Or he may glance at you when he thinks you're not looking, then quickly turn away.
- He Starts to Take Extra Care of His Appearance
If a man is sexually attracted to you, he'll want to present his best self so you'll be more inclined to reciprocate. When a man takes care of his grooming, he’s showing you that he can be reliable and presentable. Depending on the settings in which you interact, you may notice he begins taking more effort to style his hair, wear cologne, and put on his most flattering clothes.
You may also notice him straightening his shirt, running his hand through his hair, or making other adjustments-all signs that he's trying to look his best around you. These are common grooming behaviors that are rooted in primal structures of the brain and mirror similar actions in the animal kingdom. If a man finds you attractive, you may catch him exhibiting these grooming behaviors while he’s talking or interacting with you, specifically.
- He Flirts With You Any Chance He Gets
Some people are just naturally flirtatious-it's a part of their personality. But if a guy is flirtatious toward you specifically, it's usually a sign that he's attracted to you. Flirtatious banter is a good way to foster mutual attraction and build up sexual tension between two people. It's one of the most enjoyable and fun signs a guy is attracted to you.
- His Voice Deepens When He's Talk to You
This can be a subtle change but you might pick up on it when you pay attention to how he speaks to his friends and other people around you. If his voice seems to deepen when he's speaking with you, it may be a subconscious shift in order to appear more dominant and powerful. Research has suggested that women prefer deeper male voices to higher voices and men will often lower the tone of their voice without realizing it. This is one of those things that men don’t really do consciously, so they can’t hide that they’re attracted to you.
- You Catch Him Staring…Not At Your Face
He might go to lengths to be discreet about it, but no matter how sly he is, you'll probably at some point catch a guy who is attracted to you checking out your body. If a guy finds you attractive, he’ll often let his eyes wander; you might catching him daydreaming as he stop thinking and just stares. Sometimes a guy might make it more obvious that he's scoping out your body to let you know that he's interested. Research has suggested that men are more easily turned on by visual stimulus than women, so if he finds you attractive and he can’t stop thinking about physical contact with your body, he’ll let his roving eyes do the talking.
- He Tries to Appear Taller
One subconscious, deeply ingrained sign that a man is attracted to you is if he tries to make himself appear bigger and taller by stiffening his shoulders and straightening his spine. When a man is attracted to a woman, he may also adopt a so-called "power pose," by putting his hands on his hips and pushing up his chest.
- He Seems to be Nervous, Even If He's Usually Calm
Have you ever gotten that "butterflies" feeling in your stomach when you're attracted to someone? Maybe you find yourself distracted or struggling to find the right words? You might find yourself thinking, “I’m talking, but he doesn’t seem to be listening to me.” If a man is very physically attracted to you, it can be intimidating, and he may experience the same internal anxiety. This can be one of the most obvious signs a shy man is attracted to you.
Even a confident man can find that his nerves get the better of him in this situation, especially if they’re attracted to you secretly. If he finds you very attractive, it can leave him flustered. He may stutter, not seem to know what to do with his hands, or fumble with whatever he's holding on to.
- He Shows Off When He Gets the Chance
If a man is very attracted to you, he may have the tendency to try to show off in front of you. This is especially true if he senses he's got competition. He'll want to catch your attention in any way he can. This kind of "preening" behavior is very common among males of various species. If they’re attracted to you, they might even set up a competitive situation that they know that they’ll win, just to impress you. This is one of several signs a coworker is attracted to you.
- He's Always Getting Close to You
When you're having a conversation together, whether you're standing around or sitting, you may notice him subtly leaning his body toward you, pointing his feet in your direction, or mimicking your gestures. These are all signs that he's highly attuned to what you're doing at the moment. A man who is interested in you will attempt to be in close proximity to you whenever possible.
- You Put a Smile on His Face
Whether he's laughing at all your jokes or just seems to always crack a grin in your presence, it's an indicator that he truly enjoys your company. If he finds you attractive, a man finds smiling and positivity to be very attractive, as do women, and they are especially attracted to someone who laughs at their jokes. Even if he's not aware of it, and even if he’s not consciously thinking “I’m talking and she’s laughing,” it creates a positive association that will make him more likely to want to spend time with you.
- He Finds Any Excuse to Keep the Conversation Going
Whether in person or via messages, if he makes an effort to keep you talking, it's a sign that he wants to get close to you. He might engage you in talking about any subject he can think of, just to keep the connection going. He may ask you lots of questions, not only to determine if you're already taken, but to prolong the conversation for as long as possible.
Keep in mind that just because a man is attracted to you sexually, it doesn't mean that he's interested in dating or pursuing a relationship. If you're on the same page, then there's no problem. If not, however, it's important to be realistic about your expectations and clear about what you're looking for to prevent heartbreak.
Experiencing Dating Difficulties?
Dating can be stressful and that stress can lead to negative thinking patterns, an aversion to dating, and even lowered self-esteem over time. If they go unchecked, these issues can become deeply rooted in our relationships and the ways we interact with each other.
Often, when our relationships follow unhealthy patterns, it can be hard to see the source of the problem. An experienced therapist can assist you in identifying the attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors that may be holding you back from experiencing a healthy, happy relationship and replacing them with more effective alternatives. ReGain.us is here for you to help you develop the tools necessary to have better relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you know when a guy is turned on by you?
There are some obvious signs a man is turned on by you, but there are also some signs that are more subtle. Certain things people can't control, like starting to breathe a little bit heavier or blushing, are generally quite telling if a man finds you attractive. These signs are subtle, but they could very well mean that a man is turned on. It's similar to the way that, if he licks his lips, looks at your lips, or can't stop smiling any time you're talking to him, it's a potential sign he's into you. An obvious sign that a guy’s turned on by you would be that he makes a move on you and either implies or outwardly says that he's turned on or asks if you want to take things further. He might also get more touchy-feely, or you feel a slight increase in his body heat. While this is a subtle cue, it’s a sign to take note of.
How do you know if a guy is turned on while kissing?
Although you won't be able to read his mind, there are a couple of signs to look for that may be able to tell you if a guy is turned on while kissing. Signs he's turned on could include:
- He's using his hands to touch your neck, back, leg, or other areas while you kiss
- You feel increasing sexual tension or sexual chemistry
- His breathing gets heavier, even if only slightly
- He pulls you closer as you make out
- He starts to moan while making out
How do you know if someone is thinking about you sexually?
It's hard to tell if someone's thinking about you sexually. Again, you can't read anyone's mind; not even a relationship expert will get it right all of the time, which is why communication is so essential. However, there are some real signs you can look for if you want to know whether or not a guy finds you attractive. First, if you feel sexual chemistry, it's likely that it's reciprocal. That's not always the case, but it often is, particularly if you are already dating or even just flirting with each other. If he's constantly looking for an excuse to touch you or if he licks his lips more than one usually would, these are potential signs that he's sexually attracted to you and thinks of you in an intimate way.
If you're wondering, "I'm talking to this guy, and things are going well, but how can I tell if he is sexually attracted to me?" Nonverbal cues are helpful, but they aren't the be-all-end-all. When it comes to relationships sex and similar topics that might come up in your love life, although it's hard, it's important to be able to talk about it. We are taught to think, "if I'm talking about sex, I'm saying something taboo," but if you are dating or in a romantic partnership, it is crucial to be able to talk about sex. You have to be able to ask for consent, talk about what you like and dislike, and so on. There are times when a sex therapist may be helpful to either individuals or couples who struggle with issues related to sex. Even if you've been with someone for a long time you're allowed to learn together. You don't have to have it all figured out. When it comes to intimacy, there's always more to learn, and that's okay.
What does it mean if a guy moans while making out?
If a guy moans while you're making out with each other, it's a pretty reliable sign that a man is turned on. If you know a man well, you might start to notice certain patterns of obvious signs or surefire signs that he's turned on. Over time, you pick up on commonalities. For example, you might notice that your man's posture, breathing patterns, or voice often change when he’s turned on. If a guy isn't moaning, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's not turned on or that he doesn't think you're sexually attractive, physically attractive, or otherwise attractive. Everyone shows different verbal and nonverbal signs of attraction, and the chances are that, if he's making out with you, he’s enjoying it.
What does it mean if a guy puts his hand on your thigh?
According to experts, if a guy puts his hand on your thigh, it's a sign that he's into you and that he finds you attractive. Communication is actually 93% nonverbal, meaning that body language cues like this are often a meaningful part of how we communicate as human beings. Nonverbal communication is something that we use daily, often without even realizing it. We can use nonverbal cues such as physical touch and facial expressions as real signs of sexual chemistry or our chemistry with another person. That said, it's not 100% reliable. People have different baselines when it comes to their body language or the ability to interpret nonverbal cues, hence why affirming your intentions through language is essential. Additionally, some actions are more straightforward as signals or communication than others. Often, you'll internally sense it when a guy is turned on, largely due to cues you picked up subconsciously. His hand on your thigh, at the very least, is a sign that he's interested in some capacity and that he likes what's going on.
How do I know if a guy likes me?
If a guy likes you, or if he finds you attractive in any way, he might use certain behaviors and gestures to show it. Here are some signs he’s into you:
- He wants to hang out one on one (instead of with a group)
- He can’t stop smiling when he’s with you
- He’s constantly texting you first or looking for an excuse to start a conversation
- He holds prolonged eye contact with you or gazes into your eyes for longer than a friend typically would
- He gets jealous of any of your other potential love interests
For many people, it’s hard to pick up on it when someone’s flirting with you. Unless it’s overt, flirting can be mistaken for friendliness at times, and vice versa. After all, some people have friendly, bubbly personalities; these are generally the individuals who are perceived as flirting even when they aren’t. The way that you’ll be able to tell what’s really going on is to look at his behavior around you in comparison to his behavior around other people. Signs that he’s interested also depend on context. A guy at work who’s interested will probably have to keep his feelings on the down-low, whereas a guy who’s not a coworker will have the ability to be more overt.
If you’re wondering about how to tell if a guy likes you over text, the signs will differ from those that indicate that someone likes you in real life. In real life, you’ll have body language and other cues to go off of when you’re trying to figure out whether or not a man finds you attractive, but over text, you’ll have to look at things like words, GIFs, and emojis alone. If he says something akin to, “I’m thinking about you” or sends a ton of heart-eye emojis and it doesn’t feel platonic to you, it’s likely a sign he’s interested. Again, another sign that he’s interested could be that he initiates the text conversation first, especially if the way that he speaks to you registers as being flirtatious in nature.
What do guys like most when making out?
Everyone, including men and women, like different things while making out. That said, there are some commonalities or things that many guys are known to enjoy while making out. If you're wondering what to do while making out with a guy to make the experience even better for him, here are some things you can do:
- Make a light touch to the back of his neck
- A gentle touch to his face
- Put your hand on his chest or brush his collar bone
- Rest your hand on his thigh
- Rub his leg gently
- Move closer toward him
You can also play with his hair. Or, if he isn't doing anything with his hands on his own, take them and place them on your body. For example, you might gently grab his hands and put them on your lower back. A lot of guys enjoy it when a woman takes this kind of initiative. Asking him to put his hands on your back is another option. It's both hot and helpful, especially if he's either timid or doesn't know what you like. If you want to take things further or do something specific to make the makeout session even better, you can whisper, "do you want to ___?" in his ear. For example, "do you want to touch me?" or "do you want to put your hand on my leg?" Again, many individuals like it when the other person takes the initiative.
Remember that a mental health counselor or therapist can help if you're struggling with relationships, dating, your sex life, or anything else that’s on your mind. Reach out to a provider near you, or get started with ReGain.