How To Seduce Your Wife All Over Again

Updated March 28, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Women and men are very different. What puts you in the mood is totally different than what puts her in the mood. It seems like men are almost always in the mood. But when it comes to getting the wife into bed, that is a whole different ballgame. No matter how long you have been married, it seems like you still have no idea what she wants, right? In the beginning, it was easy because everything was new and exciting. But now that you have been together for a while, you have no idea how to seduce your wife.

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Looking to get the spark back?

Attraction is the key

You may think it should be easy to get sparks flying with your wife. After all, she married you, and she loves you. Why should you have to work so hard to get your wife into bed? But seduction is not really about love or being married. Seducing a woman is about attraction. According to experts, women are attracted to certain things. Here are some of the most common turn-ons in most women.

Put the kids to bed

If your idea of how to seduce your wife is putting the kids to bed and asking her to get naked, you are doing it wrong. After all this time, you ought to know at least a little about what your wife likes. Think about it. What did your wife enjoy the last time you two got romantic? Of course, you do not want to do the same thing every time because that gets boring. But you can at least get some ideas of how to get your beautiful wife into bed by thinking about it.

Make her laugh

Women do not have a button you can press that automatically puts them in the mood. Women love it when you romance them. Spend some time telling her how beautiful she is and how much she still turns you on. Bring her flowers. Ask her about her day. Make her laugh. There are many ways to bring back intimacy with your wife. Women love it when you offer to do something for them that she doesn’t like to do. Like vacuuming or putting the kids to bed.

Write her a love note

Seducing your spouse may be as easy as writing her a love note or poem. Just stick a small note that says, “I love you,” in her purse or under her cell phone. With marriage today, we do not have enough time to do things like that. Everything is trending towards texting or social media chats. A hand-written note is more personal because it takes more effort; she will appreciate that. Don’t stop there, though. Maybe you can write a longer note about all the things you love about her and how much you appreciate all that she does.

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Compliment her

Please don’t stop telling her why she is great. Make your comments personal and true. She wants to hear other compliments like how intelligent she is and how proud you are to marry her. Again, be authentic and sincere. What is she really good at? Does she have a hobby she loves? Please pay attention to what she does and compliment her on how well she does it. Paying attention is the key point in this paragraph. It’s time to start paying attention to her again.

Take her out to dinner

What does your wife love to do that she hardly ever gets to do? Get a mani-pedi? Go to the movies? Go out for dinner instead of cooking dinner? Or maybe she loves it when you rub her feet after work or massage her shoulders. Don’t just do it because you want it to turn sexual, do it because you care about her. She wants to know that you are doing it because you love her and not just get her into bed. Seducing your wife could be as simple as having a nice meal and seeing a movie. This also makes the chore of making dinner off both of you, so you have more time and energy to enjoy each other in the bedroom.

Get fancy

Remember when you two first got together? What did you do for fun back then? When you were so worried about impressing her and making her want you. Think about what you did back then that actually worked. Were you charming and funny? Did you dress better? Maybe you used to wear cologne and style your hair. If you stopped doing all of that over the years (or during the COVID quarantine), you might need to dab on a bit of Old Spice and get a haircut. Put on some nice jeans and a nice T-shirt. She will be impressed.

Women are smart

You may think you are brilliant when it comes to cars, computers, or whatever else you know about. But when it comes to women, most men are a little more insecure. Women like to feel challenged, and she wants to know that you value how smart she is. Women tend to need some mental and emotional stimulation. Ask her opinion on something you know she loves to talk about. Or talk to her about a problem at work that you want her help with. You may be surprised by what she comes up with. When you truly listen to her ideas and opinions - that makes her feel special.

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Looking to get the spark back?

Try something new

You may need to try something new in the bedroom. Remember, this is about her needs, not yours, so be careful what you propose. When you are in a sexually intimate situation, remember to take care of her. Positive outcomes from one situation help to lead into the next encounter. Maybe she has always wanted to have sex in the backyard or the pool. Or you could try some new sexual positions. It may just be that she is bored and needs a new trick to get her back in the mood. Talk about it. She may be able to tell you herself how to spice up the bedroom and seduce her.

Find out what she is attracted to

Of course, she was attracted to you when you got together. You probably would not have lasted this long if she wasn’t. But time has gone by, and maybe you do not look the same as you used to. Have you put on a few pounds? Stopped grooming your beard? No? Maybe you look exactly like you did when you first met. But as women get older, their tastes sometimes change. Watch how she looks at other men. Does she seem to appreciate some facial hair but not a beard? That may be a way to catch her eye.

More than just looks

However, it is not only about looks with women. Intelligence can be a major turn-on for women. Show her some new things you have learned or start a conversation about something you are really good at. Posture is another thing. Once we get married, we seem to let ourselves get too relaxed. Are you slouching in your chair right now? Women can see that as low self-esteem or lack of interest in what is going on around them. Sit up straight, hold your head up, and be confident. Another thing women like is someone fun and happy. If you seem to be going through life with no passion, that can be a turn-off.

What not to do

You should never do many things when trying to bring back the spark with your wife. So, what are some important things that you should not do? Here are some of our tips:

  • Do not run into the kitchen naked and tell her you want sex. In fact, don’t run into any room naked for any reason.
  • Never compare her to other women. This should be common sense, but you never know. Women do not like to be compared to anyone. Especially not your exes.
  • Don’t just start groping her. Most women prefer it when you take things slow and easy.
  • Do not try to initiate sex when you know she is not in the mood. If she is tired or has a headache, wait until some other time.
  • Don’t use cheesy lines from television or movies. Like “did it hurt when you fell from Heaven” or “there is something wrong with my eyes because I cannot take them off you.” This may be good for making her laugh, though, so it could work in that way.
  • Never tell her she owes it to you because she is your wife. That will not only turn her off, but it will also probably start a big fight.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk about it.
  • Do not get mad if she says no.


If you are having trouble with your relationship, whether it is about sex, money, trust, or any other relationship issue, there are people you can talk to who can help. A relationship counselor can be great for both of you. At, we have over a thousand licensed counselors and therapists who can help with any issues you may be having. And you can do it online. So, what are you waiting for?

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