So, you have met the person of your dreams and have decided to tie the knot. Cloud nine is where you are sitting right now, and everything is beautiful with visions of wedding cake filling your every waking moment, as well as your nightly dreams. Chances are you have set a budget for your wedding and honeymoon, but how much thought have you given about after the nuptials and honeymoon? Unfortunately, many new brides and grooms do not give much thought as to how they will handle finances once their lives together begin.
Many considerations should be taken into account before setting out to build a house and decisions on how to handle finances. The future should be discussed and made before the wedding – the first bills do indeed come within days after saying, “I do.” It is advisable for couples to answer a few key questions before embarking upon marriage. Some individuals might find that their goals for the future are quite different.
Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?
Anyone interviewing for a new job has heard this question, yet when most think in terms of marriage, there is the assumption that both parties are on the same page and the same path. A great deal can happen to individuals both personally and professionally in five years. It is important to discuss both professional as well as personal goals before getting married. One of the most common reasons given for divorce is: We just wanted different things.
How Conservative Are You When It Comes To Spending?
Face it, when you get married, it is not all about you anymore. Even the most independent of partners should take the other person into consideration when making purchases. If one partner is conservative and the other a shopaholic, there will be more than just a difference of opinions. This is not to say that one partner should seek permission before pulling out the Gold Card to buy that cashmere sweater in all their favorite colors, but an honest look at the combined budget, short-term, as well as long-term goals needs to be taken into consideration.
What Is Your Credit Score?
This may be one of the most discomfiting questions one can ask a potential marriage partner, and in truth should be asked early rather than later. Most do not realize that their spouse’s credit score, while individually his or her own, can have a negative impact if the couple holds joint accounts. Remember, a low credit score exists for a reason. So before applying for that joint store card, or even a mortgage, be sure that your potential spouse is both financially aware as well as financially responsible.
How Much Do You Pay For Auto Insurance?
Unlike credit scores, your spouse’s driving record will affect your auto insurance rates, and high insurance premiums can break the budget. This conversation is often neglected until that quote comes back that is more than triple what you paid for as a single person. While this is not a good enough reason to call the whole thing off, it is good to know ahead and avoid an unpleasant discussion later down the road.
How Much Life Insurance Do You Plan To Purchase?
As morbid as this may sound, it is important for a married couple to ensure that should one die, the other is not left financially destitute. Most employers include life insurance in their benefits packages, but it is often not enough to take care of long-term expenses that could be incurred in the event of a long illness or to compensate for the loss of the other spouse’s income. Another insurance concern will be if there is a policy for a critical or long-term illness.
Talking about money before getting married may not be romantic, but arguing about money when you’re already married most certainly is not. If your potential spouse avoids discussing money and the future financial outlook for both of you, this is not a good sign and should be considered before saying, “I do.”
Good and open communication is essential to the success of any relationship. For help in getting the conversation started, the counselors at ReGain.us are here to guide you. Talking about uncomfortable topics now can save conflicts and arguments later.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are some marriage counseling questions?
The questions to ask in relationship counseling or marriage counseling all depend on you, your spouse, your relationship, and the reason you are in relationship counseling or marriage counseling. If you are in relationship counseling, premarital counseling, or marriage counseling and want to know how to navigate disagreements, you might ask, "what is the best way to navigate a disagreement? Do you have any tips for what to do when an argument comes up?" if you are in marriage counseling to increase affection, you might ask, "how do we increase affection in our relationship?" If one or both of you struggles with emotional intimacy, you might ask about that. Using tools like couples therapy worksheets and working with your therapist or counselor during the relationship counseling process, you can work through a variety of different concerns and questions you have.
Note that, while premarital counseling and marriage counseling or relationship counseling for already-wed couples may differ in numerous ways, no topic is off-limits in either form of counseling or therapy. The goal of premarital counseling is generally to help you and your spouse-to-be to prepare for a healthy, lasting, happy marriage. Premarital counseling questions may include but are not limited to the following:
If you already have a family and would like to work through concerns within the family unit, or if you're establishing a blended family through your marriage, family therapy is an excellent option. You can engage in family therapy independent of or alongside other forms of therapy or counseling, including relationship counseling and individual therapy.
How do I prepare for my first marriage counseling appointment?
Here are some steps to take to prepare for your first marriage counseling appointment:
What is a premarital assessment questionnaire?
A premarital assessment questionnaire is a series of questions that'll help you and your soon-to-be spouse evaluate where you're at in terms of marriage preparation. If there's anything to talk about that you haven't thought of yet, a premarital assessment questionnaire is a tool that'll bring that topic into your awareness so that you can cover it.
What factors predict a successful marriage?
Here are some factors that are known to predict a successful, happy marriage:
All of the factors above are backed up by research. If you're struggling in your marriage, have something to work on in your marriage, or if there's simply a mild concern that you'd like a professional to help you work through, consider marriage counseling. It's proven that relationship counseling or couples counseling is effective. Relationship counseling can enhance, or even save, a romantic partnership. It can also make you more confident in your relationship.
What is premarital counseling and why is it important?
The purpose of premarital counseling is to prepare couples for a happy marriage. It's a form of couples counseling, relationship therapy, or relationship counseling that is typically short term. Premarital counseling is beneficial even for those who already have happy, stable relationships. According to abundant statistics and research on the topic, premarital counseling can help a couple's marriage last. It allows you to work through any potential concerns (no matter how big or small) you have before getting married. Even if there are no matters that stand out to you in terms of what to work on in your relationship prior to marriage, premarital counseling can make you feel even more confident about the union and overall relationship. Premarital counseling gives you tools that you'll use throughout all of your partnership and acts as a way to set you and your spouse-to-be up for success.