Stay Single: Quotes To Keep In Mind When You Are Happily Alone
Updated March 12, 2020
Reviewer Wendy Galyen, LCSW, BC-TMH
Struggling with being single? Don't worry: you are in better company than you might think. Between 45 and 50% of adults living in the United States today are unattached. The joys of being single are finally being acknowledged in the scientific community. According to Psychology Today, living single is just as rewarding and fulfilling as being in a relationship. If you are ever in doubt of your relationship status, these quotes will help you embrace being single.
Is Being Single Better?
Your marital status doesn't define who you are as a person; there is much evidence that single people are as happy as those who are not. Several physical and mental health benefits come with your solitude: singles are generally a healthier weight with better fitness regimens than their married counterparts. They are also more driven, setting goals for their personal and professional growth - and accomplishing them.
Another reason for being single and staying single is an enhanced social life. People without spouses or significant others spend more time with friends and family than those who are in relationships. Singles are more likely to provide emotional and physical support for family members and go on social outings with friends.
The Social Pressure To Get Married
With all these benefits, is being single a bad thing? No. However, peer pressure can play a role in why people decide to settle down. It is something you are expected to do at one point or another, according to social and cultural norms. One's relationship status is divided down the middle between two opposites, between marriage (or long-term monogamous relationships) and remaining single. When others in our social circle starts getting married, it makes us consider doing so as well.
Published single vs. married statistics pit one way of life against another. Groups of single people are explicitly used as the alternative to married people, which implicitly regards "singledom" as strange or wrong. This presentation of research is never objective, and it is used to reinforce social norms. It disregards the importance of choosing to remain single, concluding that everyone must want to get married - or, more importantly, that they should.
If you are depressed about being single for so long, you aren't alone. With social pressure to get married, some unattached people feel anxiety or worry about their relationship status. If you are having trouble adjusting to your new reality, our licensed therapists can help you gain perspective, so you can live a happy, fulfilling life without a partner.
Best Thing About Being Single: Quotes That Support The Single Life
The decision of whether to get married or remain single has become a hot topic of conversation in recent decades. There are far more advocates for marriage and long-term relationships than there are for embracing the single life. However, more people in the public eye are publicly stating their support for remaining single. Older quotes from those long dead are also resurfacing.
When considering whether the remaining single is the right course, keep the following quotes in mind. They can provide encouragement and empowerment for your life choice - as well as evidence that not everyone supports the "you have to settle down" argument.
Staying Single Forever - By Choice
"Being single doesn't necessarily mean you're available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says, 'Do Not Disturb' on your heart."
- Wiz Khalifa
The performer and rapper - known for his platinum-selling records "Black and Yellow" and "Work Hard, Play Hard" - hits upon one of the many reasons people stay single: to heal from a broken heart. Many singles may have had an unhealthy relationship in the past, which prompts their desire to remain unattached.
Heartbreak doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship ended on a bad note. It is common to grieve over a life transition, such as the end of a long-term relationship or a marriage. Remaining single is the best way to focus on yourself, becoming emotionally ready to embrace another relationship when it comes.
"Single is no longer a lack of options - but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out."
- Mandy Hale
Blogger Mandy Hale's social media presence started to inspire women to live to their full potential without a spouse or significant other. Her musings have since become The Single Woman, a social media movement. Her take on celebrating the single life spawned her best-selling books The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass and You Are Enough: Heartbreak, Healing, and Becoming Whole. In a world where single women are constantly grilled on their personal lives, her mantra of "being single and loving it" challenges women to celebrate their singledom - not mourn it.
"It's not just O.K. to be single for both men and women - it's wonderful to be single, and society needs to embrace singlehood in all its splendiferous, solitary glory. Next time you see a single woman, instead of asking her where her boyfriend, husband or eunuch is, congratulate her on her accomplished sense of self and for reaching the solitary mountaintop by herself without a ring on her finger weighing her down like a male paperweight. Without single women and their impressive sense of self, we'd be without Queen Elizabeth I, Marie-Sophie Germain, Susan B. Anthony, Florence Nightingale, Jane Austen, Harper Lee, Diane Keaton, Greta Garbo, Jane Goodall and me, myself and I. Being single is delightfully more than it's cracked up to be … if you can stand the horror of your own company, that is."
- Chelsea Handler
One of television's most outspoken personalities, comedian Chelsea Handler, is not shy about speaking her mind. In her editorial for Time Magazine, "When You Meet a Single Woman, Congratulate Her," Handler condemns the societal pressure to marry and have children. She also calls into question something unmarried and unattached people experience every day - why do family members, friends, and acquaintances express shock, outrage, and concern for those who choose to enjoy the perks of being single?
Embracing Being Alone
I want love
But not just any kind of Love, no,
I want a love so deep it'd make the ocean jealous.
But I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude."
- Warsan Shire
Being single doesn't always mean you reject love and relationships. It shows that you know who you are and what you want. In her poem, "Solitude," Kenyan-British poet Warsan Shire celebrates her independence and falling in love. Instead of settling for an unsatisfying relationship out of loneliness, she insists that she will wait to share her life with only the best partner. It is a moving poem of self-awareness that will become every single person's new rallying cry.
"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person."
- Oscar Wilde
In some relationships, men and women become consumed with each other. Our devotion and love for our partner become our sole focus, and we forget that we are individuals without our significant other. Oscar Wilde, the Victorian author of The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest, points out that being single is the perfect time to focus on yourself. Without a relationship to absorb us, we become more independent.
If you are going to be a happy single, you have to stop treating being single as the annoying time that you pass between relationships and embrace it. Rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have: You.
- Natalie Lue
Writer and motivational speaker Natalie Lue has also built her online presence by encouraging others to find what brings them peace. She specifically tackles the concept of people-pleasing, which is a behavior that can sabotage healthy relationships. Lue supports individuals who use periods of self-reflection to discover what they want out of life. Rejecting situations and relationships that can force us to step away from our true selves for the benefit of someone else, she welcomes the single life as a time when you become the most important person in your life.
Benefits of Being Single
Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.
- Marcus Aurelius
Even ancient warriors needed some alone time. The 2nd-century Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius reigned during a time of peace and prosperity over the empire, although he was constantly at war to protect its borders. A prolific writer, he spent almost twenty years crafting what would become his Meditations, one of the most enduring philosophical works from the ancient period. Throughout his writings, Aurelius encouraged self-reliance as the path to improving all aspects of our lives. By looking within, reflection - the kind that often accompanies the single life - can help us figure out what we want from life and how to attain it.
"I was told I was dangerous. I asked why and they said: "Because you don't need anyone." That's when I smiled.
This quote by an unknown author highlights everything great about the single life. There is something truly empowering - for both men and women - when you realize that the only person you need to be happy is yourself. Having emotional, physical, and financial independence at some point in your life, whether your single status is permanent or temporary, is a state we all should achieve.
"I was waiting for Prince Charming. Everybody I met was going to be the guy I was going to spend my life with. And then you realize, 'I'm strong, I'm my keeper, my savior."
- Jennifer Lopez
Although Jennifer Lopez - the Grammy-winning singer and actress - is now half of one of the most adorable unions in Hollywood today, it wasn't always this way. Lopez has been very vocal about her journey from always looking for the next relationship to finding her self-worth without a significant other. Once you are at peace with yourself, you can bring that into your next relationship - if you choose to have one - to create a more stable, healthy union.
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
- Lady Gaga
In a 2010 interview with Cosmopolitan Magazine, singer and actress Lady Gaga lauded the benefits of being a single woman. When you are a woman in a relationship, there is this pressure to support your partner in every endeavor - often at the sacrifice of yourself. Lady Gaga, in her typical blunt manner, encourages women to back away from this behavior, choosing instead to forge your path.
Relationship Vs. Single Life: There Is No Right Answer
While these quotes defend the single life, that is not to say that you cannot find inner peace, self-esteem, and personal growth within a relationship. It just depends on what type of relationship it is. With more people waiting to get married, and the number of single people on the rise, being unattached is slowly becoming more mainstream. There is even a celebratory National Singles Day every year, on the last day of the third week of September - the observed National Singles Week which acknowledges being single and all its glory.
Whether you choose to remain single or wait for that perfect someone, use this period of alone time to move forward with your own goals. Becoming a person who knows what they want is attractive to everyone around you, not just a potential partner. You may even inspire someone else who is struggling to make peace with the end of their relationship or their dating dry spell.
Remember that your marital status is not who you are. You aren't just someone's wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Your validation doesn't come by who is in your life; it comes from yourself. In other words, you aren't any less of a person for being single, and anyone who treats you that way is not someone you should be around. If you still aren't sure if remaining unattached, here is one last powerful statement from one of Hollywood's reigning singletons: Diane Keaton. She states, "I remember when I was young, I honestly believed in some ridiculous way that you would find someone who would be the person you lived with until you died. I don't think that because I am not married, it's made my life any less. That old maid myth is garbage."