I’m Tired Of Being Single: How To Find Companionship
By Jon Jaehnig
Updated December 05, 2019
Reviewer Wendy Galyen, LCSW, BC-TMH
Tired of being single? It can be hard, especially if you've been alone for a long time.
So, what do you do when you want to find companionship?
The Need For Companionship
Humans are social creatures, and we all need companionship - some of us more than others.
One of the best ways to find companionship is through romantic relationships, which can make being single very hard. However, there are other ways not to be alone, at least until you find that special someone.
A Common Problem
When you're single, you can feel alone. However, what you're going through is a common problem at any stage of life. Young people often have a hard time navigating relationships while also balancing education and entering the work force. Older people also have problems maintaining relationships as they deal with changing life styles.
The good news is that you can learn to navigate the space of singleness in a healthy and happy way as you look for the right person.
How To Find Companionship
The most important thing to do to find companionship is to remain open. This can mean several things.
For one thing, it means looking for companionship in places other than romantic relationships. If you need companionship, thinking that you can only get it from a romantic relationship can mean being lonelier than you need to be between relationships. For companionship outside of romantic relationships, consider strengthening your ties with friends and family. That can help to get you through the lean times as well as help you to solidify relationships that can help support you and your future partner.
It also means that sometimes the best way to find lasting love is not to go looking for it. Sometimes, people are so desperate for companionship that they launch themselves into a relationship with the next person who comes along. This is seldom a good way to find a lasting relationship. You're better off being single for as long as it takes to find the person who's right for you. It may seem hard, but it can spare you heartache in the future.
Look Without Looking
So, how do you find companionship without looking for companionship? Continue to do the things that you already do but do them with your eyes open. Pursuing hobbies and interests that you're already engaged in can be a great way to meet other people with at least one interest in common. That can be the cornerstone of a great relationship.
When we get involved in a hobby or interest, it can be easy to get lost in that thing. Try to look around you a little more often for other people that move in the same circles that you do.
If your hobbies and interests don't get you out that much, look for opportunities to make your hobbies and interests more social. Consider going to local events, conventions, and tradeshows that highlight your interests.
Talk With Your Social Network
Let your friends and family member know that you're looking. They may be eager to introduce you to acquaintances, but even if it doesn't work that way, you never know when you'll come up in conversation and catch someone's attention.The social networks that you already have established can be a great source of support for you.
Spend Time With Yourself
Looking for people that share common interests and spending more time with your friends and family can be great ways to help you get through your lonely times. However, you should be able to be alone with yourself without feeling lonely.
If you have a hard time being alone for any amount of time, it could be a sign that you aren't happy with yourself and who you are as a person. If that's the case, you may want to use this time between relationships to learn more about yourself and to be more comfortable and confident with yourself.
If you recently gotten out of a relationship and are already looking for a new one, it could be that you're trying to distract yourself from dealing with unresolved feelings from your previous relationship. As well as potentially poisoning your mind, these unresolved feelings are also likely to carry into your next relationship if you don't deal with them first.
This is a journey that you can take alone or with the help of your friends. You can also utilize the help of a therapist. We'll talk later in the article about how you can find help.
Another way to find companionship without looking for it is to make and develop casual relationships. Similar to strengthening your existing relationships, making and developing casual relationships can help you find companionship outside of romantic relationships. That's a good thing to have, but the strongest romantic relationships don't start as romantic.
Another benefit of looking for more casual relationships is that you're less likely to scare people away. As we mentioned above, not all people are looking for or feel like they need romantic relationships. So, if you walk around wearing a "single and ready to mingle" sign around your neck, you're scaring away potential friends - and potential partners - that might be more interested in a friendship than a relationship initially.
Be Honest With Everyone
The above section doesn't mean that you need to lie to people. If you've decided that you're on the hunt for a partner, let people know. If they think that you want to be friends and find out later that you're looking for a partner, they might feel like you were dishonest with them. Further, if you are looking for a partner, letting people know can help to attract other people who are looking.The takeaway from this section is to respect other people and be considerate of them when you make decisions.
Talk To A Relationship Counselor
We briefly mentioned this idea above, and it's worth revisiting. If you're single, it may not have occurred to you to talk to a relationship counselor, but this can help you in several ways.
One of the most significant has to do with one of the possibilities that we listed above - moving on from a relationship with unresolved feelings. A relationship counselor can help you to understand these feelings and engage with them healthily and productively that will give you a clean slate for when you are ready to move into your next relationship.
A counselor can also help you with your personal growth, healing from past trauma that is holding you back, and any other stressors and mental health concerns that you may have.
Further, relationship counselors are experts in relationships, so they can help you to navigate that space as you explore new relationships. They can also help you start those new relationships on the right foot.
Once you do have a relationship, you can continue to talk to your relationship counselor, possibly with your partner. Many couples do this even when their relationship is strong because it can help to give them the tools that they need to solve problems before they even encounter those issues.
Finding A Relationship Counselor
If you've decided to see a relationship counselor, there are a couple of ways that you can get started. First, you can ask around, conduct a web search, or look for resources in your community. Many communities have relationship counselors if you know where to look.
However, not everyone has access to a relationship counselor, and some people feel uncomfortable seeing a relationship counselor in their community. Further, relationship counselors, like regular counselors and therapists, can be very expensive.
One way around these problems is to meet with a relationship counselor over the internet. This method is more affordable, more convenient, and - for some - more comfortable than meeting with a relationship counselor in person. For more information about how meeting with a relationship counselor over the internet can help you, visit https://www.regain.us/start/ .
The most important thing when looking for companionship is to give yourself time to find someone who's right for you. It's also most important to take the time to be sure that you are ready for the relationship that you are trying to initiate.