10 Reasons Why Some People Do Not Date Single Moms
Updated March 12, 2020
Reviewer Karen Devlin, LPC
Speaking with single men around various parts of the world, they all seem to have their perspectives on dating single moms. Some of them unapologetically refuse to consider dating a single mom. Others express no issues with dating a woman who has children. Households with single moms rank second in commonality. The reasons behind their decision to date or not date single moms vary.
Considering that many men were raised in a household with a single mom, there are two ways to rationalize either perspective taken by men. Some men are extremely impacted by the relationship they had with their own single mom growing up and welcome the opportunity to engage with other single moms. Others may not have had a positive experience being raised by a single mom and simply choose not to be in a relationship that relates to those negative memories.
The negative variables that exist in households with a single mom can be relatively deep. Consider the following:
- Some people feel that they didn't experience a complete childhood because a single mom raised them.
- Some people have deep negative emotions buried as a result of being raised by a single mom.
- Some people experience horrible relationships with men their single mom dated.
- Some people felt that their mom gave more attention to the men she dated and less attention to them when they were growing up.
- Some people are still dealing with issues related to their childhood because they were not able to connect with a father figure and only had a single mom in their life.
All the above are examples of just a few negative experiences or feelings that may cause people to view relationships with a single mom negatively. It is always best for people who are dealing with or facing these feelings to talk with a professional for individual counseling to help them address and overcome these feelings.
The positive variables that exist in households with a single mom can be relatively encouraging. Consider the following:
- Some people were given immaculate amounts of attention and well cared for by their single mom.
- Some people were surrounded by other positive examples while being raised by a single mom and never felt a void in their life.
- Some people were raised by single moms that went above and beyond to ensure that nothing was missing in their childhood to make them resent being raised in a single parent household.
- Some people were raised by a single mom that co-parented with the other parent to ensure that the needs of the kids were a priority that was always met.
- Some people who were raised by single moms lead happy and healthy lives with no regrets or negative thoughts associated with being raised by a single mom.
All the above are examples of just a few of the positive experiences associated with people raised by single moms. These influences enable many people to move on and explore relationships with other single moms.
10 Reasons Why Some People Do Not Date Single Moms
There's no denying that being a single mom has its challenges, and some people find dating single moms to be equally challenging. Their time is restricted, financial limitations may persist, and their responsibilities are usually greater. Whatever complications a single mom carries, it is not always true that they can't commit to a relationship or have what it takes to do one work.
Some single moms are the best at organizing and dividing their time. It's become a way of life that they manage very well. Not every single mom is dealing with a disgruntled ex who is determined to make all their relationships fail.
Whatever the circumstance may be, some people refuse to date single moms because of the possible complications. Following are the ten reasons why some people do not date single moms.
1. Some people don't do drama, and some single moms come with a lot of it. You've heard the terms "baby mama" or "baby daddy" drama. They are loosely associated often with single moms. Many men refuse to date single moms because they would prefer to avoid any negative encounters or associations involving the other parent.
Once a person hears that a woman is a single mom, they automatically think of the baby daddy. In his eyes, it may be an uncomfortable or unwelcomed situation. While there may be no drama in her life at all with the other parent, many people don't take the initiative to stick around and find out.
2. Some people feel that a single mom has little to no time to date. Good single moms are indeed spending quality time with their kids, but to be better for their children, single moms realize that time for themselves is imperative. Some people feel that between work, school and her kids, a single mom has no time for anything else, especially dating.
If you're a person that requires all a woman's time and can't understand that she's got other responsibilities in life, dating a single mom may not be for you. However, many single moms are strong and have become efficient in time management. They make sure to devote a balanced amount of time to their kids and their social life.
3. Some people don't want to share their partner with anyone else, even her kids. Like the previous reason but different in a certain sense. People who do not date a single mom because of this reason is expecting her to be available to him all the time. He wants her always to answer his calls and be available to go out or spend time whenever he wants.
This type of person wants spontaneity in the relationship, which is not something a single mom can always be. If she doesn't have the kids, it may be possible but can't always be expected . It may not always be possible for a single mom to acquire a sitter or leave the kids unattended, which is another reason that spontaneity can't take place with single moms all the time.
4. Some people view single moms as less than a quality catch. In the back of the minds of some, single moms aren't the best quality in the dating world. They see single women with no children as being better than those who have kids. In fact, some people believe that single moms should be dating all her time to raising her kids and not dating at all. This is a negative stereotype that prevents some men from experiencing quality relationships with great women and potential.
5. Some people don't want the responsibility of raising another person's child. For their own unique reasons, some people can't justify raising children that aren't their own. A single mom can be everything a person desires, but because she has kids, he won't consider dating her. Some people don't want to establish a bond with her kids because they aren't certain that the relationship will last.
6. Some people know that they don't want a serious relationship. Most people think that a single mom will be looking for a relationship when she dates someone. If you're sure that this isn't something, you're ready for, not dating a single mom is a good idea. It prevents her from hoping for something that you have no plan on giving her. Some people refuse to waste her time with a relationship that will never advance past an occasional date here or there.
7. Some single parents find it difficult to date single moms also. It may seem odd, but some single parents refuse to date, single moms. They are concerned that the parenting styles won't match or concerned that their kids will begin to feel that her kids are replacing them. It's a challenging situation but not impossible with the right amount of dedication and understanding.
8. Some single people want to have their children before raising others. It's common for a person to want their kids. Some feel that they should dedicate their efforts to having kids of their own before considering sharing someone else's kids. It's a feeling that's somewhat unexplainable but experienced by many people.
9. Some men are intimidated by single moms. It's common for some people to be intimidated by single moms because they feel that she's got everything under control and doesn't want input or help from someone else. Most single moms have grown accustomed to getting things done on their own. It doesn't mean they don't want help, only that they've gotten used to not having any help.
10. Some people feel that they won't make good parents. It's common for people to feel that they'll be horrible parents. Most single moms feel that way before their child is born. Once you experience the relationship with the child, it becomes easier to see yourself in a parenting role. Remember, dating a single mom doesn't make you a parent to her kids, but it does present an opportunity for you to get to know her better and decide if you want to continue the relationship, which at some point will include getting to know her kids.
If you're hesitant about dating a single mom or a single mom who has issues allowing yourself to date because of your kids, there could be an underlying issue that you need to address. Talk with a therapist to help you gain insight and clarity on the topic and to help you feel better about dating.