10 Reasons Why Some People Do Not Date Single Moms

By Sparklle Rainne (They/Them)|Updated June 23, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Karen Devlin, LPC

Single-parent households, including those of single mothers, are not at all uncommon. In fact, households with single moms rank second in commonality among families in the United States. Even with the high quantity of single-parent households in mind, however, some people choose not to date single parents. The reasons behind a person’s decision to date or not date single moms vary. So, what are they, and what can you do if you need help in your relationship?

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10 Reasons Why Some People Do Not Date Single Moms

There’s no denying that being a single mom has its challenges. Their time is often restricted, their energy frequently has to be rationed, and their responsibilities are usually greater. Whatever commitments a single mom carries, they are still often able to commit to healthy relationships. Because of the pressure of motherhood, many single moms are very adept at organizing and dividing their time. It’s become a way of life that they manage very well.

That said, there are reasons a person may choose not to start a relationship with a parent. Why do some people choose not to date single moms? The following are ten possible reasons.

  1. Some people worry about the involvement of the ex-partner. Single parents have varying levels of involvement with the person they had their child or children with. In some cases, there will be no contact. In other cases, the mother and kids might see the other parent every now and again. Though it definitely won’t always be a concern, a potential romantic interest might worry that the ex-partner will attempt to have a higher level of involvement in the life of the single parent at some time, that they will have to frequently interact with the ex-partner, or, depending on the situation, that there will beconflict between the two of them.
  2. Some people feel that a single mom has little to no time to date. Good parents spend quality time with their kids, but some people fear that a single mom will havelittle time for anything else, especially dating,in between taking care of their obligations. This isn’t always the case; where scheduling things like childcare can be a concern, many single parents in the dating field are, again, skilled in time management and will both show and tell you that they have time for love. Remember that you will have to respect the need of the parent to tend to their kids.

  3. Some people don’t want to share their partner with anyone else, even a person’s kids. This is similar to item #2 in some regards, but it’s different in a certain sense. Some individuals who are hesitant to date single parents may feel this way because they desire a partner with a high level of availability.
  4. Some worry about the potential lack of spontaneity. Some people desire a less structured life and are aware that a single parent might not be able to be quite as spontaneous. Time with romantic partners may require additional planning. If they don’t have the kidsat the moment, spontaneity may be possible but can’t always be expected. It may not always be feasible for a single mom to acquire a sitter or leave the kids unattended, which is another reason that spontaneity can’t occur with single moms all the time.
  5. Some people don’t know how to establish a bond with someone else’s kids. This could be true for a number of reasons. They might worry about getting attached and having to leave a child’s life if the couple breaks up, potentially overstepping boundaries, or something else.
  6. Some people know that they don’t want a serious relationship. Some people may think that a single mom will be looking for a relationship when she dates someone. It is up to the unique person to tell you what they’re looking for when you start seeing each other, but if they do tell you that they’re seeking a serious relationship, it’s something to respect. If you don’t want a serious relationship at this time and someone else does, it likely isn’t a compatible match, and that’s okay.
  7. Some single parents find it difficult to date single moms also. It may seem odd, but some single parents are hesitant to date other single parents or don’t see it as a good fit. They may be concerned that the parenting styles won’t match or concerned that their kids will begin to feel that the potential partner’s kids are replacing them. It’s a challenging situation, but it’s not impossible to navigate with the right amount of dedication and understanding.

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  8. Some single people want to have their children before raising others. Some people feel that they aren’t in a place in life to be a figure in a child’s life. They may wish to have children of their own first, for whatever reason, or there might be things they want to do in life before they feel that they can be a part of a person's family. If a single parent is indeed looking for someone to join the family, it makes sense that a person may not feel that they’re compatible.
  9. Some people are intimidated by single moms. It’s common for some people to be intimidated by single moms or parents. It takes a lot of drive, energy, love, and dedication to run a household, after all. People might see all that the single parent gets done in a day, admire their strength and power, and worry that they themselves don’t do enough. Most single parents have grown accustomed to getting things done on their own. It doesn’t mean they don’t want help, only that they’ve gotten used to not having help. A candid conversation in the relationship can help with this.
  10. Some people have chosen a life withoutchildren. Dating a single parent doesn’t necessarily or automatically mean that you’ll be considered a parent to their child or children in the future. Again, this is something decided together, and probably much later on in the relationship. Still, if you want to continue the relationship, it will at some point include getting to know the kids. We all want different things in life, and while some people love kids, some know that they don’t want to be a significant adult or parental figure of any kind in the life of a child. It’s important to know what you want, and this doesn’t say anything about you or the single parent. It’s a lack of compatibility with that lifestyle, and it’s okay to recognize that.

If you’re a single parent yourself, know that the right person will respect your time, your boundaries, and your needs related to raising your children. Being a single parent is a highly attractive quality, and there are far more reasons for people to want to date single parents than not. It’s all a matter of compatibility and finding a match who can be there in the way you want them to be there.

Get Support In Your Relationships

Whether you’re a single parent in the dating world, are in a relationship with a single parent, or need support with anything else related to your romantic life or mental health, you may benefit from seeing a therapist. When you see a therapist as a couple, they can help you through any potential hurdles in your partnership. They can aid you in getting on the same page and communicating effectively or meeting other goals. When you sign up for ReGain, you can work with a therapist oneonone or as a couple. All of the providers on the platform are independent, licensed, and experienced.

Here are some reviews from people who have sought support on the ReGain platform.

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