10 Things To Consider When Dating A Single Mom

By Robert Porter|Updated July 13, 2022

Meeting a woman that you love is something that can enrich your life significantly. It's not always easy to know what to do when you're in a relationship with a single mom, though. If you haven't ever dated a woman with kids before, then you might be at a loss for what to expect. Luckily, it's possible to prepare yourself mentally for a relationship with a single mother. Take a look at these 10 things you should consider below so that you can have a more successful relationship.

Single Parents Can Have Relationships That Thrive

1. Her Children Will Come First

The first big thing that you need to come to terms with when entering in a relationship with a single mother is that her children will come first. She is going to be very passionate about being a good mother to her children, in all likelihood. You should respect this. That doesn't mean that your relationship doesn't matter, but it will likely be different from others that you have had with women who don't have kids.

Her children will always be a huge part of her life, and you have to accept that. You might not get as much attention as you would like sometimes. Understand that the woman you're dating has responsibilities. She's doing her best to juggle work, being a good mom, and maintaining a relationship with you. That's a lot for any person to try to handle.

2. She Should Handle Disciplining The Kids

If you get really close with the single mother who you're dating, then you might wind up spending a lot of time with the kids. It can be satisfying to build a good relationship with the kids. When the kids come to see you as a nice person and someone who they enjoy interacting with, it's going to make you feel good. It's important to understand that there are boundaries, though.

Kids are going to act up at times, and you might be there for some tough moments. Children will sometimes behave badly, and they will need to be disciplined to correct the behavior. Even if you think it might be a good idea to try to help your girlfriend by disciplining the kids, it's important to understand that this is likely best left to her to handle.

It may hurt your relationship with her if you decide to try to discipline the kids. That isn't your place, and this can be a tricky subject. Be mindful of your actions and remove yourself from the situation if you're feeling frustrated. Let your girlfriend take care of this matter and try not to get too worked up when the kids are behaving poorly.

3. The Kids Might Not Like You At First

Some people wind up feeling discouraged when they encounter problems with their girlfriend's children. There may be times when the kids won't like you and will try to push you away. They might think that you're trying to replace their parent or that you're bad for their mother. It's normal for some kids to be distrusting at first and it might take time for them to warm up to you.

Some kids get along great with their mother's partners without it taking too much time. It just isn't always that easy. If the kids don't seem to like you at first, then you have to respect that and let them open up to you over time. If you can show them that you have good intentions and that you love their mother, then things are likely to turn around eventually.

4. Caring For Her Kids Is Good

Caring for her kids is a good thing. You have to respect the boundaries of being someone who isn't quite a parental figure. It's possible that you could be a step-parent someday. and it's nice when you can build a genuine bond with your girlfriend's kids. Just don't try to force it and let it happen naturally.

Her kids might need someone nice in their lives who they can count on. If you can fill that role, then it might be good for your relationship as well. Just be honest with your feelings about it and don't try to replace their biological parent. Your relationship with these kids is unique, and that's perfectly fine.

5. It's Best To Avoid Conflict With Her Ex

One of the most common "dating-a-single-mom" problems that people will encounter has to do with her ex. If her ex is not the nicest person, then it could create issues for you. Sometimes these people will feel threatened when a new person comes into the picture. They may worry about whether this new person is trying to steal the love of their kids. You want to avoid coming into conflict with her ex as much as possible.

Respect the biological relationship they have with their children. If you have to interact with them, treat them with respect and be cordial. Nothing good can come from you having a tumultuous relationship with this person. Try to encourage a healthy and respectful relationship with this person for the sake of the children.

6. She's a Busy Lady

Your girlfriend is a very busy lady due to all of the things that she has to handle. She is a mom, and she also has to make a living. This takes up a lot of her time, and she might not always have the time or energy to go out with you. You might be frustrated by how busy she is at certain times, but you have to be understanding.

Appreciate the time that she does give you and always try to make the most of it. When she is too tired to go out on a date, respect that. Just be there for her and try to let the relationship evolve naturally. She will have time for you even if it isn't as much as you might be used to at first.

7. She Might Need Emotional Support Sometimes

Raising kids is something that can be quite tough. There might be days where your girlfriend will feel completely frazzled. The kids might be acting up, or things might be very stressful at work. Whatever the situation, it's going to be important to be able to provide emotional support for her. This is true in any relationship.

Being able to support her and let her vent will help. You can also be a reassuring presence who will reassure her that everything is going to be okay. Being a good person in her life that she can rely on will strengthen your relationship. If you love her, then you'll be able to be there for her during times of need.

8. Helping Her Unwind Makes A Difference

Everyone needs to unwind, and single moms need to be able to relieve some stress. After a long week of working and parenting, it can be great to get away together. If her ex has the kids during the weekend, then this is going to be the perfect time to help her relax. Do something special for her or spend time giving her lots of affection at home. It helps to make up for all those times when she has been busy, and you'll be making her feel better.

9. It's Okay To Be Honest About Your Needs

You might feel like this relationship is shifted very far toward what her needs are. It's also perfectly acceptable to be honest about your own needs. Not everyone has an easy time being in a relationship with a single mother. If you need more attention and if you aren't good with kids, then this relationship might not be ideal for you. You have to be honest with yourself about what you want and what your expectations are.

Take the time to talk to her about how you're feeling. You'll be able to figure out what you should do after that. A single mom can be a great girlfriend, but she does have other responsibilities. Talking about your situation in-depth might be enough to help you two figure out whether it can work or not.

10. She Might Need You To Make A Commitment

This next thing to consider is not going to be true in all cases, but it's something to keep in mind. A woman with children might be more interested in having a substantial relationship rather than just dating someone for fun. As someone who has children, she might be more concerned about things such as getting married or settling down. Some single moms want to find a partner who shares the same values so that they can build a quality life for their children.

Not all single moms are looking for a spouse, though. Some want someone to share fun times with when they get the chance. It's going to be smart to be upfront about your feelings on commitment. This will allow you to come to an understanding early on about expectations and where you want to take things. If you could see yourself settling down with her eventually, then it might be good to know that it is something that you could work toward together. If you're seeking a more casual relationship, then she should know so that she can decide if that is what she is interested in.

Remember That Online Couples Counseling Can Help

If you love your girlfriend and you want to make things work, then it might be appropriate to get some help. Online couples counseling has been able to help many people get through tough patches. You might need some assistance to learn how to adapt to dating a woman with kids. You'll be able to work with skilled therapists to get through any issues that you're having, and it's all very convenient.

Single Parents Can Have Relationships That Thrive

Being able to get counseling without having to leave the house is quite helpful. You can attend couples counseling sessions together whenever you feel the need. If you're a busy professional who is short on time, then this is the best option for getting help. Your relationship can thrive. Reach out today if you feel like you could use some assistance.

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