Meeting a woman that you love is something that can enrich your life significantly. It's not always easy to know what to do when you're in a relationship with a single mom, though. If you haven't ever dated a woman with kids before, then you might be at a loss for what to expect. Luckily, it's possible to prepare yourself mentally for a relationship with a single mother. Take a look at these 10 things you should consider below so that you can have a more successful relationship.
1. Her Children Will Come First
The first big thing that you need to come to terms with when entering in a relationship with a single mother is that her children will come first. She is going to be very passionate about being a good mother to her children, in all likelihood. You should respect this. That doesn't mean that your relationship doesn't matter, but it will likely be different from others that you have had with women who don't have kids.
Her children will always be a huge part of her life, and you have to accept that. You might not get as much attention as you would like sometimes. Understand that the woman you're dating has responsibilities. She's doing her best to juggle work, being a good mom, and maintaining a relationship with you. That's a lot for any person to try to handle.
2. She Should Handle Disciplining The Kids
If you get really close with the single mother who you're dating, then you might wind up spending a lot of time with the kids. It can be satisfying to build a good relationship with the kids. When the kids come to see you as a nice person and someone who they enjoy interacting with, it's going to make you feel good. It's important to understand that there are boundaries, though.
Kids are going to act up at times, and you might be there for some tough moments. Children will sometimes behave badly, and they will need to be disciplined to correct the behavior. Even if you think it might be a good idea to try to help your girlfriend by disciplining the kids, it's important to understand that this is likely best left to her to handle.
It may hurt your relationship with her if you decide to try to discipline the kids. That isn't your place, and this can be a tricky subject. Be mindful of your actions and remove yourself from the situation if you're feeling frustrated. Let your girlfriend take care of this matter and try not to get too worked up when the kids are behaving poorly.
3. The Kids Might Not Like You At First
Some people wind up feeling discouraged when they encounter problems with their girlfriend's children. There may be times when the kids won't like you and will try to push you away. They might think that you're trying to replace their parent or that you're bad for their mother. It's normal for some kids to be distrusting at first and it might take time for them to warm up to you.
Some kids get along great with their mother's partners without it taking too much time. It just isn't always that easy. If the kids don't seem to like you at first, then you have to respect that and let them open up to you over time. If you can show them that you have good intentions and that you love their mother, then things are likely to turn around eventually.
4. Caring For Her Kids Is Good
Caring for her kids is a good thing. You have to respect the boundaries of being someone who isn't quite a parental figure. It's possible that you could be a step-parent someday. and it's nice when you can build a genuine bond with your girlfriend's kids. Just don't try to force it and let it happen naturally.
Her kids might need someone nice in their lives who they can count on. If you can fill that role, then it might be good for your relationship as well. Just be honest with your feelings about it and don't try to replace their biological parent. Your relationship with these kids is unique, and that's perfectly fine.
5. It's Best To Avoid Conflict With Her Ex
One of the most common "dating-a-single-mom" problems that people will encounter has to do with her ex. If her ex is not the nicest person, then it could create issues for you. Sometimes these people will feel threatened when a new person comes into the picture. They may worry about whether this new person is trying to steal the love of their kids. You want to avoid coming into conflict with her ex as much as possible.
Respect the biological relationship they have with their children. If you have to interact with them, treat them with respect and be cordial. Nothing good can come from you having a tumultuous relationship with this person. Try to encourage a healthy and respectful relationship with this person for the sake of the children.
6. She's a Busy Lady
Your girlfriend is a very busy lady due to all of the things that she has to handle. She is a mom, and she also has to make a living. This takes up a lot of her time, and she might not always have the time or energy to go out with you. You might be frustrated by how busy she is at certain times, but you have to be understanding.
Appreciate the time that she does give you and always try to make the most of it. When she is too tired to go out on a date, respect that. Just be there for her and try to let the relationship evolve naturally. She will have time for you even if it isn't as much as you might be used to at first.
7. She Might Need Emotional Support Sometimes
Raising kids is something that can be quite tough. There might be days where your girlfriend will feel completely frazzled. The kids might be acting up, or things might be very stressful at work. Whatever the situation, it's going to be important to be able to provide emotional support for her. This is true in any relationship.
Being able to support her and let her vent will help. You can also be a reassuring presence who will reassure her that everything is going to be okay. Being a good person in her life that she can rely on will strengthen your relationship. If you love her, then you'll be able to be there for her during times of need.
8. Helping Her Unwind Makes A Difference
Everyone needs to unwind, and single moms need to be able to relieve some stress. After a long week of working and parenting, it can be great to get away together. If her ex has the kids during the weekend, then this is going to be the perfect time to help her relax. Do something special for her or spend time giving her lots of affection at home. It helps to make up for all those times when she has been busy, and you'll be making her feel better.
9. It's Okay To Be Honest About Your Needs
You might feel like this relationship is shifted very far toward what her needs are. It's also perfectly acceptable to be honest about your own needs. Not everyone has an easy time being in a relationship with a single mother. If you need more attention and if you aren't good with kids, then this relationship might not be ideal for you. You have to be honest with yourself about what you want and what your expectations are.
Take the time to talk to her about how you're feeling. You'll be able to figure out what you should do after that. A single mom can be a great girlfriend, but she does have other responsibilities. Talking about your situation in-depth might be enough to help you two figure out whether it can work or not.
10. She Might Need You To Make A Commitment
This next thing to consider is not going to be true in all cases, but it's something to keep in mind. A woman with children might be more interested in having a substantial relationship rather than just dating someone for fun. As someone who has children, she might be more concerned about things such as getting married or settling down. Some single moms want to find a partner who shares the same values so that they can build a quality life for their children.
Not all single moms are looking for a spouse, though. Some want someone to share fun times with when they get the chance. It's going to be smart to be upfront about your feelings on commitment. This will allow you to come to an understanding early on about expectations and where you want to take things. If you could see yourself settling down with her eventually, then it might be good to know that it is something that you could work toward together. If you're seeking a more casual relationship, then she should know so that she can decide if that is what she is interested in.
Remember That Online Couples Counseling Can Help
If you love your girlfriend and you want to make things work, then it might be appropriate to get some help. Online couples counseling has been able to help many people get through tough patches. You might need some assistance to learn how to adapt to dating a woman with kids. You'll be able to work with skilled therapists to get through any issues that you're having, and it's all very convenient.
Being able to get counseling without having to leave the house is quite helpful. You can attend couples counseling sessions together whenever you feel the need. If you're a busy professional who is short on time, then this is the best option for getting help. Your relationship can thrive. Reach out today if you feel like you could use some assistance.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Dating someone with kids is a totally different experience than dating someone who doesn’t have children. Here are some tips for dating a single parent. One of the first things that you need to realize and be supportive of is that their kids are their number one priority. The kids are always going to come first, and as a parent, they may need to reschedule dates if something comes up with their kids.
You should also be ready to date them for a long time before they consider letting you meet their children. They’re going to be incredibly protective of them and they may not like you at first because you’re not their parent. Don’t be offended and don’t take it to heart if they seem reluctant for you to meet their kids early on.
A single parent doesn’t have time for games, and they aren’t going to be willing to play them. They’re already busy enough with their work and life and trying to raise kids. If they want to start a relationship with you, take it seriously.
All of that being said, some other tips for dating a single parent are that it is also important to realize that they’re not necessarily looking for someone to be the new parent to their kids. They’re looking for someone who can be a life partner, who understands them, and who supports them through tough times. At the same time, be ready to be a part of their children’s lives if they let you in that far.
Some final tips for dating a single parent and a fairly large consideration to be aware of is that it is very likely that their ex is still around. Their ex is the other parent of their kids after all, and just because they’ve divorced or split up doesn’t mean that the kids have lost a parent. So, while they may or may not still be on speaking terms with each other it’s not your place to say anything negative about the ex, especially in front of their kids.
Essentially, the best advice for dating a single mom or single parent is: if you’re considering dating a single mom or single parent, be ready to put in some work.
Dating a single mom or parent can be hard for all of the reasons listed above. One of the hardest things about it is that you don’t just have to impress them and take care of them. Eventually you’re going to end up meeting their children, and you’ll be starting from square one with them. You might even be starting lower than that if they’re still close with their other parent.
Plans will likely change at the drop of a hat, and your partner will probably have to leave in the middle of a date because their kids need them more than once. You need a lot of patience, compassion, and self-worth to date a single mom or parent because you’re never going to be their first priority, and you have to be able to accept that.
Of course! The main thing to remember is that dating a single mother or parent isn’t anything like dating any other person who you have before. The rules are all completely different with single parents, and they have completely different priorities than other single people.
However, they still have the same needs as everyone else. Relationships, sex, and companionship are things that a single mom or parent wants, but they have to be cautious about who they let into their world. If they extend their trust to you, don’t take it for granted. At the end of the day, it’s perfectly alright if things don’t work out between you or if you’re not compatible in the relationship, sex, or other matters. Mutual respect and a mature attitude are the keys to success here.
For single moms and dads who feel that they’re ready to date or start dating, it can be intimidating thinking about trying to find a date. When you’re ready to start dating, dating sites can be a great place to find like-minded people, such as other single moms and dads, that are ready to date as well.
If you’re ready to date and dating sites aren’t your thing, and you want to look for more traditional date ideas and advice for dating, talk to your friends. They might have someone that they’ve been dying to set you up on a blind date with.
If blind dates, dating sites, and dating other single parents isn’t your one of your ideal date ideas, then don’t be afraid to meet people the old-fashioned way. A lot of people are attracted to single moms because of their confidence, determination, and strength. Plus, when you’re dating a single mom or parent, you know that they’re independent, and are going to put into the relationship exactly what they want to get out of it, so there’s a lot less guesswork.
Many people may find single moms and single parents attractive for a number of reasons such as:
The reasons that single parents are attractive to people are that they’ve already been through it once. They know what they want, what they don’t want, and how they want it. Having such clear cut and defined goals can be refreshing for some.
The bottom line is that if you’re dating a single parent be ready to put in the time, the effort, and the work into the relationship. If you do that and make sure you’re understanding, compassionate, and mindful of their needs, then you have a great shot at making it work.