Warning Signs He Doesn't Want To Marry You

Updated November 9, 2022 by ReGain Editorial Team

When you're in a loving relationship with a man, wanting to marry your partner is understandable. Getting married is something that many partners do, particularly as the relationship progresses. Often, there are certain signs a man exhibits when he is interested in taking that next step towards marriage. You can notice how the guy will spend time with you. Consequently, there are also indicators that a man doesn't want to marry which you can also notice. These indicators are often present after the relationship has lasted for some time, but, luckily, online therapy can help you work through your own feelings regarding the situation.

You Should Feel Good About The Future Of Your Relationship

A Quick Word On Marriage And Relationships

In Western society, there is a significant amount of attention and value placed on marriage by our family, friends, and community. Roughly 90% of individuals in Western culture are wed before they reach the age of 50. Marriage is a milestone in which various individuals are eager to reach at some point in their lives. When someone suspects or learns that they're in a relationship with a man who shows signs he doesn't want to marry you, this can be upsetting for a plethora of reasons. You may not be on the same page with a long term partner about a future wedding date.

But what makes a man want to marry you? What doesn't? Before going into the warning signs that he doesn't want to marry you, know this: your value as a human being is not dependent upon whether or not someone wants to marry you. Future plans change constantly, even about marriage. There are all kinds of reasons why a man may not want to become your husband in marriage; these reasons could pertain to you or they could be issues which are solely on his end. Nevertheless, it's important to remember that you are worthy and valuable, even if you find yourself in a relationship with a man who isn't interested in marriage.

Sometimes people don't see or choose to ignore the warning signs or a big sign that he doesn't want to marry you to escape the pain or disappointment. In the long run, however, this does more harm than good. If you're in a relationship with a man who doesn't want to engage in marriage, knowing his intentions is in your best interest. It may be painful, but you can determine what your future plans should be and if this is a relationship you want to continue.

Signs He Doesn't Want To Marry You

When you're in a long term relationship with a man who is showing signs he doesn't want to marry you, sooner or later, the warning signs are going to materialize. The biggest signs are not always obvious, but when you know what to look for, it certainly makes a difference. A man who doesn't want to marry you will most likely not come right out and tell you this; however, if the following signs are evident in your relationship, they should be a red flag for you and your future plans.

He Steers Clear Of Labeling The Relationship

Refraining from labeling the relationship in the early stages is normal in certain cases; however, if you've been in a serious relationship for an extended period and he still doesn't want to put a label on the relationship or refer to you as his partner or just a piece of label, that's problematic in the emotional world. There may be all sorts of reasons why he's steering clear of a label, but it's not a positive sign for your relationship. It's also an indicator that he isn't going to be asking you to marry him and make the ultimate commitment anytime soon. When a man is serious about commitment and marriage, he’ll have no problems with labeling the relationship, and this is just one excuse for putting of marriage plans of many.

He Gets Vague During Talks Of The Future

When you are in a relationship with someone, it is natural to discuss the future, if you're serious about one another. As time passes, talking about the future is something which becomes more and more important for your emotional space and mutual trust. If you're involved with a man who constantly changes the subject about marriage plans, becomes vague, or otherwise avoids talking about the future, this is a huge red flag that he's never going to marry. It’s not that he doesn’t want a relationship with you — he may not want to marry you, which is worse. This is one of the more subtle signs to be aware of; but avoiding the subject of marriage may be his way of letting you know that he doesn't want to become your husband. Do not expect him to pick up on if you drop hints or have an expectation that he’ll have finally caved.

You've Never Met His Friends Or Family

If this happens, it is a good sign and one of many common signs that he trusts you enough to introduce you to his family and friends. If this you have not been spending any time with his family and friends after a while, especially after many years, this is a warning sign that the guy is never going to marry you. Of course, there's always the possibility of extenuating circumstances like a difficult family relationship, but most of the time, if a man is serious about marrying you, he's going to want to introduce you to his close friends and family.

He Proposed, But Won't Set A Date

When a guy is truly excited about marrying his significant other, he's almost always going to want to set a date for marriage. Of course, some couples have long engagements before marriage, but if your significant other has proposed, but continuously procrastinates and continues making excuses setting a date or making wedding plans, this could be a warning sign. In a situation of this nature, the proposal may have occurred because he thought he wanted to marry you but wasn't 100% sure. If months (or even years) go by without setting a date for the marriage ceremony, this is a very clear sign that he is never going to marry you.

There are some valid excuses as to why the present time is not suitable, such as needing more money for marriage and kids. But, eventually, the future cannot be put on hold for most women, and life needs to go on. There are only so many excuses that a guy tells a woman that make sense.

He's Told You He Doesn't Want Marriage

There are certain cases where men are upfront about informing their significant others of their absent desire for marriage. If a guy does not want to get married, it is acceptable and expressly committed for him and his needs. Unfortunately, some individuals may try to change a man's mind and entice him into marriage. In most cases, this doesn't end well and only leads to resentment and bitter feelings. When someone tells you who they are and what they want, it's best to believe them. If a man changes his mind about how he is never going to marry, this is something which he can and will convey to you on his own. If you're interested in trying to get married, but he isn't, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate the relationship. He might not be the right guy for your life and the next stage of your future.

How To Handle The Aftermath

Learning that you're in a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to get married can take time to handle and process. Coming to this revelation can be very disappointing, but it is ultimately up to you to determine if you can forgo being married. At this point, it's very important to be truthful with yourself about marriage, as well as talk to family and friends. Convincing yourself that you can remain in a relationship without marriage when you desire to be married will only lead to problems in the future. Procrastinating on the issue avoids conflict in the short term, but it will blow up in the future if you don’t address your desire to get married.

In situations where you want to marry and he doesn't, there are no simple answers. This isn't a decision that you need to make in haste. Take as much time as you need in rest, although you may find that, deep down, you may already have your answer that you want to get married. If you truly feel as though you can remain in a relationship with a man who doesn't want to get married, that's fine. However, if you're not able to comfortably be in a relationship where you won't ever get married, that's fine also. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled as a top priority in whatever relationship you're involved in even if it means letting go of something so that you can be a part of something better, perhaps in marriage.

Confiding In Others

Determining if you should remain with a man who doesn't want to marry you isn't something that you have to do on your own. Talk with friends, family, and others who care about you can be helpful after coming to this realization. It can be very satisfying to discuss the situation with others. Talking with other people about true love has the added bonus of providing a different perspective which would be otherwise unavailable if you tried to figure it all out on your own.

You Should Feel Good About The Future Of Your Relationship

During this difficult time in life, working with a therapist is another highly recommended course of action for your interest. Mental health care is a critical service with well-documented benefits. Regardless of your situation and decision, a therapist can be of value in a multitude of ways. A therapist can discuss your past relationships with ex girlfriends and boyfriends, your current relationship troubles, your future relationship goals, and everything in between from relationships with family, friends, and coworkers to your life in general.

If you're interested in psychotherapy, signing up for online therapy with ReGain is a convenient and affordable way to with a therapist for your interest. Unlike traditional, in-person therapy, online therapy allows you to work in conversation with a specialist from anywhere. Here at ReGain, we understand and respect that people have busy lives and it is not always convenient to come to an office each week to find their answer. We also believe that someone's lifestyle shouldn't impact their ability to get help.

ReGain offers relationship counseling for most types of relationships, including a marriage and family therapist, for example. Counselors, such as marriage and family therapists, are professionally trained to help you to work through your relationship problems. ReGain offers a wide range of help from relationship counseling to marriage and family therapists.

Online therapy is very effective, but it's not a quick and easy fix. Life's challenges and struggles still take place; however, you will gain the knowledge, skills, and ability to handle these issues more successfully. Online therapy can be a valuable tool to assist you along your journey and you learn how to make the rest of your life the best of your life.

“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”

“Sarah has been comforting to me through a very difficult transition . She has helped me to regain confidence and listen to my intuition. She is a great listener and has encouraged me to rediscover and use my voice.”

Other Commonly Asked Questions

Why do men not want to get married?

Why do men not want to get married? Men not marrying are common these days. There are many reasons why men do not want to get married, but most of them boil down to one thing: they just don’t feel ready. They may not have found someone they are truly compatible with yet, or they may be too young and inexperienced in life to handle the responsibility of marriage. Some men just aren’t ready for commitment yet—they still want all the freedom that comes with being single.

How long does it take for a man to decide he wants to marry you?

How long does it take for a man to decide he wants to marry you? If he shows signs he sees you as his future wife, it will happen quickly. If he doesn’t see you as a potential life partner, then it could take months or years to decide. It all depends on how well you know each other and how in sync your values are.

Can a man love you but not want to marry you?

What to do when he doesn't want to marry you?

Should I leave if he doesn't want to marry me?

What makes a man decide to marry you?

How do I know if he's thinking about marriage?

How do you know if a man is wasting your time?

What do you do when he won't propose?

How long should you wait for a marriage proposal?

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