Warning Signs He Doesn't Want To Marry You
When you're in a loving relationship with a man, wanting to marry them is understandable. Getting married is something that many partners do, particularly as the relationship progresses. Often, there are signs a man exhibits when he is interested in taking that next step toward marriage. Alternatively, there are also indicators that a man doesn't want to marry.
A Quick Word On Marriage And Relationships
In Western society, there is a significant amount of attention and value placed on marriage by our family, friends, and community. Roughly 90% of individuals in Western culture are wed before they reach the age of 50. Marriage is a milestone many individuals are eager to reach at some point in their lives. When someone suspects or learns that they're in a relationship with a man who doesn't want to marry you, this can be upsetting for a plethora of reasons.
But what makes a man want to marry you? What doesn't? Before going into the warning signs that he doesn't want to marry you, know this: your value as a human being is not dependent upon whether someone wants to marry you. Future plans change constantly, even about marriage. There are all kinds of reasons why a man may not want to become your husband; these reasons could pertain to you, or they could be issues which are solely on his end. Nevertheless, it's important to remember that you are worthy and valuable, even if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who isn't interested in marriage.
Sometimes, to escape pain or disappointment, people don't see or choose to ignore the warning signs that their partner doesn't want to marry them. In the long run, however, this does more harm than good. If you're in a relationship with a man who doesn't want to marry, knowing his intentions is in your best interest. It may be painful, but you can determine what your future plans should be and if this is a relationship you want to continue.
Signs He Doesn't Want To Marry You
When you're in a long-term relationship with a man who may not want to marry you, sooner or later, warning signs are going to materialize. The signs are not always obvious, but when you know what to look for, it certainly makes a difference. A man who doesn't want to marry you will most likely not come right out and tell you; however, if the following signs are evident in your relationship, they should be a red flag for you and your future plans.
He Steers Clear Of Labeling The Relationship
Refraining from labeling the relationship in the early stages is normal in certain cases; however, if you've been in a serious relationship for an extended period and he still doesn't want to put a label on the relationship or refer to you as his partner, that's problematic. There may be all sorts of reasons why he's steering clear of a label, but it may not be a positive sign for your relationship. It's also an indicator that he isn't going to be asking you to marry him and make the ultimate commitment anytime soon. When a man is serious about commitment and marriage, he’ll have no problems labeling the relationship.
He Gets Vague During Talks Of The Future
When you're in a serious relationship with someone, it is natural to discuss the future. As time passes, talking about the future is something which becomes more and more important for your emotional space and mutual trust. If you're involved with a man who constantly changes the subject about marriage plans, becomes vague, or otherwise avoids talking about the future, this may be a sign that he's not looking for marriage. Avoiding the subject of marriage may be his way of letting you know that he doesn't want to become your husband.
You've Never Met His Friends Or Family
If you have not spent time with his family and friends, especially after you've been together for a while, this may be a sign that this guy does not want to marry you. Of course, there's always the possibility of extenuating circumstances, like a difficult family relationship, but most of the time, if a man is serious about marrying you, he's going to want to introduce you to his close friends and family.
He Proposed, But Won't Set A Date
When a guy is truly excited about marrying his significant other, he's almost always going to want to set a date for marriage. Of course, some couples have long engagements before marriage, but if your significant other has proposed, but continuously procrastinates and continues making excuses for not setting a date or making wedding plans, this could be a warning sign. In a situation of this nature, the proposal may have occurred because he thought he wanted to marry you but wasn't 100% sure. If months (or even years) go by without setting a date for the marriage ceremony, this is likely a very clear sign that he may not want to marry you.
There are some valid excuses as to why the present time is not suitable, such as needing more money for marriage and kids. But eventually, the future cannot be put on hold, and life needs to go on.
He's Told You He Doesn't Want Marriage
There are certain cases where men are upfront about informing their significant others of their desire not to marry. If a guy does not want to get married, this is a valid choice. Unfortunately, some individuals may try to change a man's mind and entice him into marriage. In most cases, this doesn't end well and only leads to resentment and bitter feelings. When someone tells you who they are and what they want, it's best to believe them. If a man changes his mind, this is something he can convey to you on his own. If you're interested in trying to get married, but he isn't, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate the relationship. He might not be the right guy for your life and the next stage of your future.
How To Handle The Aftermath
Learning that you're in a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to get married can take time to process. This revelation can be very disappointing, but it is ultimately up to you to determine if you can forgo being married. At this point, it's very important to be truthful with yourself about marriage. Convincing yourself that you can remain in a relationship without marriage when you desire to be married will only lead to problems in the future. Procrastinating on the issue avoids conflict in the short term, but it may blow up in the future if you don’t address your desire to get married.
In situations where you want to marry and he doesn't, there are no simple answers. This isn't a decision that you need to make in haste. Take as much time as you need, though you may find that, deep down, you know you need to move on from this relationship. If you truly feel as though you can remain in a relationship with a man who doesn't want to get married, that's fine too. The important thing is that you feel happy and fulfilled no matter what your status is.
Confiding In Others
Determining if you should remain with a man who doesn't want to marry you isn't something that you have to do on your own. Talking with friends, family, and others who care about you can be helpful after coming to this realization. It can be helpful to discuss the situation with others. Talking with other people about your situation has the added bonus of providing a different perspective which would be otherwise unavailable if you tried to figure it all out on your own.
During this difficult time, working with a therapist is another highly recommended course of action. Mental health care is a critical service with well-documented benefits. Regardless of your situation and decision, a therapist can be of value in a multitude of ways. A therapist can discuss your past relationships with ex-girlfriends and boyfriends, your current relationship troubles, your future relationship goals, and everything in between from relationships with family, friends, and coworkers to your life in general.
If you're interested in psychotherapy, signing up for online therapy with Regain is a convenient and affordable option. Unlike traditional, in-person therapy, online therapy allows you to work in conversation with a specialist from anywhere. Here at Regain, we understand and respect that people have busy lives, and it is not always convenient to come to an office each week to find answers. We also believe that someone's lifestyle shouldn't impact their ability to get help.
Regain offers professionally trained relationship counselors for most types of relationships. In fact, Regain offers a wide range of help from relationship counseling to marriage and family therapy.
Online therapy is very effective, but it's not a quick and easy fix. Life's challenges and struggles still take place; however, you will gain the knowledge, skills, and ability to handle these issues more successfully. Online therapy can be a valuable tool to assist you along your journey as you learn how to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
Other Commonly Asked Questions
Why do men not want to get married?
Why do men not want to get married? Men not marrying are common these days. There are many reasons why men do not want to get married, but most of them boil down to one thing: they just don’t feel ready. They may not have found someone they are truly compatible with yet, or they may be too young and inexperienced in life to handle the responsibility of marriage. Some men just aren’t ready for commitment yet—they still want all the freedom that comes with being single.
How long does it take for a man to decide he wants to marry you?
How long does it take for a man to decide he wants to marry you? If he shows signs he sees you as his future wife, it may happen quickly. If he doesn’t see you as a potential life partner, then it could take months or years to decide. It all depends on how well you know each other and how in sync your values are.
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