What A Man Wants In A Woman He Wants To Marry

By Kristina Speciale|Updated July 26, 2022
”Everyone is attracted to different qualities that they might feel they could spend their life with. Be honest with yourself about what those qualities are for you and put energy towards going after that."- Ryan Smith, LPC, NCC

Have you found yourself in a relationship that you believe might be “the one”? If so, you might feel as though marriage is right around the corner. However, is your partner on the same page? Or should you be looking for signs he doesn't want to marry you? It might be helpful to learn how to identify signs that can indicate that your partner envisions you as their future spouse. These signs might be indicators that you’re headed for the relationship you desire.

I Want To Marry Him, But Does He Want To Marry Me?

Have you found yourself in a relationship that you believe might be “the one”? If so, you might feel as though marriage is right around the corner. However, is your partner on the same page? It might be helpful to learn how to identify signs that can indicate that your partner envisions you as their future spouse. These signs might be indicators that you’re headed for the relationship you desire.

A Shared Plan For The Future

Your partner may start discussing the future with you, which can be sign that they’re thinking seriously of a sharing that future with you. They may talk about significant life topics with you, like moving, investing, career paths, and starting a family. They may want to know your thoughts on these important issues and appreciate you reciprocating your goals and views about the future.

A Willingness to Attend Significant Events Together

A partner who includes you in significant life events, such as work functions, family get-togethers, vacations, and holiday and birthday celebrations, likely enjoys sharing their life with you. Spending time with your partner at such important events may show how well you mesh with one another’s lives.

An Attraction To Each Other

Although physical beauty is often something that attracts partners to each other, attraction to other aspects is also important and may be a sign that a relationship is on a path to a solid future. A partner may find many things attractive: personality, heart, and the things the person they love finds important in life. After all, aging means that we won't all look the same years down the line as we did when we first met our partners. Qualities that partners find attractive and enduring include: trustworthiness, friendliness, vulnerability without neediness, humility, humor, confidence, a sense of humor, and a sense of optimism or a positive outlook. If you share many forms of attraction, your future together may be bright.

I Want To Marry Him, But Does He Want To Marry Me?

Being Friendly With Their Friends

Spending time with your partner’s friends may be sign that they want to share their life with you. Merging relationships that are important to your partner—such as your romantic relationship and their friendships—may be a sign another sign that your partner wants you to be part of what’s significant in their life. Getting to know their friends can also help you get to know your partner better, as research shows that friends tend to share many similarities, including some personality traits. Also, spending time with other couples may indicate that your partner values and appreciates committed relationships.

Sharing Views on Having Children

Talking about whether or not you both would like to have children and what goals you have for starting a family can be a sign that a committed future is on the mind of your partner. Questions to consider include: What are your views about having children? How firm is your position? If you want to have children, when do think it would be a good time to try to start a family? What type of parenting style do you see yourself embracing?

Supporting Each Other’s Goals and Accomplishments

Being positive, encouraging, and supportive of each other can be an important part of a healthy, lasting relationship. If you genuinely celebrate each other’s successes and encourage each other in making and working towards goals, you both may be paving the way to a mutually supportive, enduring relationship.

Being Your Genuine Selves With Each Other

In a healthy, lasting relationship, both partners may feel more fulfilled and happier if they’re able to be their authentic selves with one another. In fact, research shows that viewing partners as authentic can lead to greater trust, satisfaction, and commitment. Authenticity can include staying true to yourself, accepting yourself (even the negative parts), knowing yourself, feeling confident enough to be yourself around your partner, and learning to be compassionate with yourself and with others. If a partner feels they can be their best and most authentic self in a relationship, they may feel secure in committing to a lasting romantic partnership.


If your partner knows you’re trustworthy and you also trust them, you both may feel secure in taking the relationship to the next level. There are many positive ways to build trust in a relationship: be true to your word, honor your commitments, be honest, express your feelings, admit your mistakes and show that you can learn from them, communicate effectively, and value the relationship.

Being In Love—And Loving Each Other

Romantic love may lead to a lasting relationship and even marriage. In many committed relationships, a couple may go from “falling in love” to loving one another in a more secure way. For instance, at first, a couple may fall passionately in love. They might feel a sense of excitement. With time, the novelty of falling in love may transition. A couple may find they feel more secure in their affection. Loving someone and feeling safe and fulfilled with them can be an indicator that a committed union, such as marriage, may be in the future.

What the Research Shows About What A Man May Look for in a Spouse

Sociologists researched traits that men tend to want their potential wife to have. These preferences include:

  1. Mutual attraction and love.
  2. Passion and friendship.
  3. Trustworthiness, faithfulness, and dependability.
  4. Emotional stability
  5. Maturity
  7. A positive outlook or disposition.
  8. Sociability—someone who is friendly and likes to socialize.
  9. Good health.
  10. Physical attractiveness.
  11. Shared goals about having children.
  12. Ambition, drive, and determination.

Questions to Consider When Considering Marriage

You may be wondering if your partner wants to get married. Each individual and each couple is unique, so there’s no precise checklist for marriage. But there are some helpful questions to ask yourself—and to discuss with a potential spouse—when you’re considering marriage.

  1. Why do you want to get married?
  2. How well do you handle conflicts and disagreements with each other?
  3. Do you value time together and are you on the same page about spending time apart?
  4. What are your views and hopes about having children?
  5. What are your sexual needs and how will you resolve issues if your sex life isn’t satisfying?
  6. What are your financial views and habits? What are your goals and priorities for spending and saving?
  7. How will you handle housework and other daily necessities and routines?
  8. How do you express love?
  9. Are there any secrets or significant issues in the past that should be discussed?
  10. What are your views on politics, religion, and spiritually and how will you handle these in your relationship?
  11. How will you keep your relationship strong?
  12. What does love mean to you?

Talking to Your Partner About Marriage

If you’re wondering if you’re the person your partner may want to marry, you might consider having an open, honest conversation with them. Asking if they see marriage in your shared future might sound intimidating, but if you’ve reached a point where you’re considering (or wanting) to get married to your partner, it may be time to talk.

Tips for communicating about marriage include:

  1. Choosing the right timing: Find a calm, unrushed time to have this important conversation. Try not to start the conversation when emotions are running high or one or both of you is stressed or tired.
  2. Trusting your gut: If you feel the time is right to discuss marriage, you can feel confident trusting your instincts.
  3. Being honest: It’s okay to let your partner know that you’re trying to get an idea of what their intentions are in the relationship.
  4. Communicating what you need: It can be healthy to respectfully let your partner know what you need from them and the relationship and to ask what they need or want, too. Perhaps you feel you need clarification about the future of the relationship. Maybe you want to know if your partner needs more time, if they’re ready to marry soon, or if marriage is out of the question.

If you want support for a healthy relationship or you’re trying to navigate the future of a romance, talking with a relationship counselor can be helpful. At ReGain, you can connect with licensed mental health professionals who specialize in relationships. You can talk to them individually or with your partner. The online platform is convenient and accessible from virtually anywhere and can be a great tool for helping you with relationships, your well-being, and your happiness as an individual and a couple.

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