Why Are Men Not Marrying These Days?

Updated October 31, 2022 by ReGain Editorial Team

If you’ve been on the hunt for a committed male partner – or more commitment from your current male partner – you may have asked yourself, “Why are men not getting married these days?”

For better or worse, you’re not alone. Men aren’t getting married as frequently as they used to.

They Aren’t?

In fact, only around fifty percent of marriage-age men are married.

Why Not?

For the rest of this article, we’ll discuss some of the varied and complex reasons why men aren’t getting married as often these days, and why the ones that are getting married are waiting longer to do so.

The good news is that it’s not your fault. However, if you want commitment, you might need to look harder, wait longer, and change what commitment means to you.

Reason 1: Socioeconomics

I'm Ready To Commit But My Partner Isn't

Most people want a certain level of stability when they get married. Unfortunately, many young adults are having a hard time finding their footing.

Reason 2: Their Parents

The good news about the marriage rate is that the divorce rate is even lower, driven by stronger marriages between younger people. 

However, divorce rates continue to rise among older people, suggesting that some younger people may be putting off marriage for fear of ending up like their parents.

Reason 3: Changing Attitudes Toward Marriage

For many people – probably including you, dear reader – commitment ultimately means marriage. Marriage, as discussed, is an action that many are electing to forego. Does that mean that they aren’t signing up for committed relationships? Not necessarily.

As the marriage rates decline, cohabitation rates are going up. Cohabitation, of course, is defined as living with a partner without being married. While this is still seen as taboo in some religious communities, it’s how more and more people are choosing to commit without totally committing. After all, there’s no need for divorce if you never actually get married.

Of course, not all men who don’t get married are making that choice because they are content being committed in other ways. Some men are making that choice because they don’t feel the need to commit at all.

These days, more and more people seem to be comfortable having more casual relationships with more casual sex which, for some men, reduces the incentive to get married. We’ll talk more about solutions later, but if you’re in this kind of relationship right now, it might be worth questioning whether you want to be committed to it yourself.

What to Do?

So, you want to marry a man, and you've looked to the list of things of what makes a man want to marry you, but men still aren’t marrying. What do you do?

Fortunately, just like there are many reasons men aren’t marrying, there are many things that you can do if your goal is to get married yourself.

Solution 1: Focus On Yourself

With all those statistics cited above, it seems like waiting to get married leads to happier marriages. Maybe you should play along.

It doesn’t mean that you should stop looking for a man or stop dating. Instead, follow the trends by putting it on a back burner and focusing on things like your education, your career, and overall well-being.

Solution 2: If You Can’t Marry Them, Live With them

As we’ve seen, the end of a marriage isn’t the end of commitment. If you’re already in a committed relationship and you’re waiting for a ring, maybe you should go with the flow and realize that commitment doesn’t have to start in the courthouse.

Of course, depending on your faith, it may have to start at the altar, which brings us to the next solution.

Solution 3: Search In Your Religious Community

If you’re looking for commitment and commitment to you must ultimately result in marriage, you might be a religious person. If that’s the case, you may want to look for a partner within your religious community.

The statistics show that inter-religious marriages are becoming more common. 

To be clear, most religions don’t necessarily emphasize marrying young. However, considering marriage is prerequisite for so many activities within religious communities, it makes sense that people marrying in a religious context would marry sooner.

Solution 4: Get To Know Your Partner

While there are some systemic reasons fewer men are choosing to get married, it might be that your current partner is putting it off out of good old-fashioned fear of commitment.

If your partner doesn’t want to get married and you think that this might be why to talk to him about it. Fear of commitment is common insecurity, and if you want to get past it, your partner will have to confront it. As his partner, you can help him do this.

Sit down with him, let him know that there’s no pressure, and ask him why he doesn’t want to get married. When you understand his reasoning, at least you’ll have that, but you might also be able to use that information to help him solve the problems that are holding him back. Even this can take time, however.

Solution 5: Move On

Some men aren’t the marrying kind. If you’re ready for a commitment and you’re not sure that your partner ever will be, it might be time for you to consider finding a partner who’s a little more your speed.

It might sound vicious, but it might be best for everyone. Think about it. You’d be happier with a man who’s prepared to commit and, even if the two of you haven’t talked about it this way, your partner might be happier with someone who’s a little more casual.

If you feel like you’re at a stage in your life where you should be looking at marriage, leaving your current relationship might seem like a step back. However, if the relationship that you’re in now is never going to go any further than it already has, looking for a relationship that has more potential might be your best move.

Solution 6: Talk To A Relationship Counselor

Most people think about relationship counselors when their relationship is having problems. However, relationship counselors can help if your relationship isn’t having problems or even if you aren’t in a relationship right now.

If you are in a relationship, talking to a relationship counselor with your partner can help you better communicate with one another. This can help your partner understand why you’re ready for more commitment, and it can help you understand why your partner is dragging his feet. As mentioned above, it’s not always a sprint from identifying the problem to saying, “I do.” However, it can start things moving in the right direction.

If you’re in a relationship, you can talk to a relationship counselor even if your partner isn’t involved. However, this is more limited. If your counselor doesn’t know your partner, it is harder for your counselor to give you insights into where your partner is coming from. However, it’s not always the reluctant partner who has the baggage – sometimes it’s the one in a hurry. If you want to get married because of your insecurities, a relationship counselor can help you work on that instead.

Finally, if you aren’t currently in a relationship, you can still work with a relationship counselor who can help you understand what you want from a relationship so that the next one you find is more likely to go in the direction that you want it to.

Finding A Relationship Counselor

I'm Ready To Commit But My Partner Isn't

Of course, to benefit from a relationship counselor, you need to find one! Picking up the phone book or conducting a quick web search can help you find relationship counselors in your area. That is, provided there are relationship counselors in your area.

If not, or simply depending on your preferences, a potential solution is online relationship counseling. In this format, you – and your partner if desired – “meet” with a qualified and licensed relationship counselor via the internet. Depending on your preferences, you can conduct your communications in chatroom-like forums or with video calling. You can even text your relationship counselor if you have problems between scheduled sessions.

To learn more about how relationship counseling can help you, visit ReGain today.

Moving Forward

It’s not you – men just aren’t marrying as often or as young as they used to. However, that doesn’t mean that you must live your life outside of a committed relationship.

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns

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