Why Are Men Not Marrying These Days?

If you’ve been on the hunt for a committed male partner – or more commitment from your current male partner – you may have asked yourself, “Why are men not getting married these days?”

For better or worse, you’re not alone. Men aren’t getting married as frequently as they used to, and neither are women. 

In fact, only around fifty percent of marriage-aged men are married.

For the rest of this article, we’ll discuss some of the varied and complex reasons why men might not be getting married as often these days, and why the ones who are getting married are waiting longer to do so.

Reason 1: Socioeconomics

Most people might want a certain level of stability when they get married. However, many young adults may be having a hard time finding their footing.

Reason 2: Standards may have gone up

While the marriage rate is declining, so is the divorce rate. Fewer people are getting married, but those marriages may be of higher quality. The divorce rate has especially gone down among young people.

However, divorce rates continue to rise among older people. These numbers may be due to cultural factors, such as people feeling pressured for religious or societal reasons to get married even if it isn’t a good match. Young people may have learned from the mistakes of previous generations and might now be choosing to wait to get married, date around more before getting married, and only marry someone when they are certain that it is a good match.

Reason 3: Changing attitudes toward marriage

Marriage, as discussed, is an action that many are electing to forego. Does that mean that they aren’t signing up for committed relationships? Not necessarily.

As the marriage rates decline, cohabitation rates are going up. Cohabitation, of course, is defined as living with a partner without being married. 

Cohabitation may give people the chance to try out living together to see if it works before they commit to marriage, or perhaps people live together and decide that is enough and they don’t want to go the marriage route at all. 

What to do?

Solution 1: Focus on yourself

With all those statistics cited above, it seems like waiting to get married leads to happier marriages. In fact, 46% of divorced couples cite their reason for divorcing being that they “married too young.” Take those statistics into account, and take your time. 

It doesn’t mean that you should stop looking for a man or stop dating. Instead, follow the trends by putting it on a back burner and focusing on things like your education, your career, and overall well-being.

Solution 2: Search in your religious community

Perhaps marriage is very important to you for religious reasons. If that’s the case, you may want to look for a partner within your religious community.

To be clear, most religions don’t necessarily emphasize marrying young. However, having similar religious beliefs can bode well for your marriage and you may find people who see marriage similarly to you. 

Solution 3: Get to know your partner

While there are some systemic reasons fewer men are choosing to get married, it might be that your current partner is putting it off out of good old-fashioned fear of commitment.

Ask your partner about his views around marriage. Fear of commitment is common insecurity, and if you want to get past it, your partner will have to confront it. As his partner, you can help him do this without pressuring him into something he isn’t ready for.

When you understand his ideas about marriage, you might also be able to use that information to help him solve the problems that might be holding him back. Note that this can take time, and if you and your partner are looking for completely different things then it might not be a good match.

Solution 4: Move on

Ask yourself why you want to marry this person. If you’re ready for a commitment and you’re not sure that your partner ever will be, it might be time for you to consider finding a partner who you can see eye-to-eye with.

Maybe you would be happier with a man who’s already prepared to commit and, even if the two of you haven’t talked about it this way, your partner might be happier with someone looking for something more casual.

If you feel like you’re at a stage in your life where you should be looking at marriage, leaving your current relationship might seem like a step back. However, if the relationship that you’re in now is never going to go any further than it already has, looking for a relationship that has more potential might be your best move.

Solution 5: Talk to a relationship counselor

Most people might think about relationship counselors when their relationship is having problems. However, relationship counselors can help if your relationship isn’t having problems or even if you aren’t in a relationship right now.

If you are in a relationship, talking to a relationship counselor with your partner can help you better communicate with one another. As mentioned above, it’s not always a sprint from identifying the problem to saying, “I do.” However, it can start things moving in the right direction.

If you’re in a relationship, you can talk to a relationship counselor even if your partner isn’t involved. 

Finally, if you aren’t currently in a relationship, you can still work with a relationship counselor who can help you understand what you want from a relationship and how to find fulfillment in romance.

Finding a relationship counselor

A potential solution to relationship issues could be online relationship counseling. In this format, you – and your partner if desired – “meet” with a qualified and licensed relationship counselor via the internet. Depending on your preferences, you can conduct your communications in chatroom-like forums or with video calling. You can even text your relationship counselor if you have problems between scheduled sessions.

To learn more about how relationship counseling can help you, visit Regain today.

Takeaway

Maybe men just aren’t marrying as often or as young as they used to. However, that doesn’t mean that you must live your life outside of a committed relationship. Plus, with marriage, sometimes it’s best to prioritize quality over quantity!