There are times in romantic relationships where it feels like everything is too much, and you can't get through these stressful challenges. If you think that way, you're not alone. It's hard to get through it, but there are ways to get through even the toughest times where you feel like there's no hope. Here are some ways to figure out how to get through those awful relationship obstacles. There is hope to get through even the scariest times in your relationship. If you are honest and open about your problems, you can do this.
Communicate with your partner
It's not difficult to keep away from things, as not getting involved feels easier than facing the more profound issues head-on, but this is not the way to overcome a difficult time in a relationship. Though it’s not easy, talk to your loved one. You can begin with something like, “Hey, I love you, and I’d like to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately." it doesn't have to be so intense from the get go. You can go grab some hot choco or coffee in the nearby café or simply cuddle on the couch. but you do it, and be sure you’re able to get it out of your chest. It’s important that you say what you have to say, and don’t restrict yourself. At times, we conceal things for fear that we might hurt our partner’s feelings, but honesty is absolutely the better way to do it. It's okay to wonder about where the conversation might go but just speak your mind. Communication is crucial in every relationship, so find ways to do that with your partner.
Don't expect a particular outcome
You might want things to be a certain way, and that's what's holding your relationship back. There's no right way for a relationship to be; what matters is that it's healthy for you and your partner, and that is subjective. There are things that you might need in a relationship that other people might not, and there are things that your partner might need in a connection that is exclusive to them as a person, but there's no "right" relationship." It's about letting go of what "should" be and embracing what is, staying in the present moment, and working with what your relationship has. If there are things that are missing that'll help your relationship get better, talk about those things.
Compare and despair
You might look at other couples on social media and think: "why can't I be happy like those people?" but you never know what happens behind closed doors. You don't know whether that couple is happy or not. Maybe, they're emotionally or physically abusive towards one another. You don't know, so don't compare yourself to other couples. Even if they are happy, you can be satisfied, too, but your happiness is not predicated on other people's joy. It's exclusive to you. Make sure that you understand that you don't need to compare yourself to others. Your relationship is beautiful, the way that it is, and everybody has problems. You and your partner can work those out, but don't compare yourself to other couples. Every relationship has its own set of unique challenges.
Validating your partner's feelings
Everyone deserves to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. That's important in friendships and romantic relationships. When you and your partner have an argument or disagree on something, it can get heated. There may be harsh words exchanged, but the crucial thing is to hear what your partner has to say, one of the reasons that relationships end is because people don't feel valued. You want your partner to care about your feelings, and it's essential that you state that aloud. Conversely, it's crucial for you to acknowledge their feelings. Try not to be defensive, and listen with judging them. You may feel the need to jump in when they something that hurts your feelings but be patient. Let them finish what they have to say before sharing your opinions. Everyone's feelings matter, and if you listen to how they feel, they should hear how you feel as well.
Don't underestimate the value of listening to your partner. If you've done something to hurt their feelings, you can hear them out and admit that. Say that you're sorry, but don't just say that you're sorry; think about solutions to make sure that these issues won't happen again. That's one of the things that is hard about relationships; everyone will make a mistake at some point in a romantic relationship, and you want to make sure that you honor your partner's feelings and make an attempt to solve the problems rather than merely apologizing because words can only do so much. It's important to admit when you're wrong, and hopefully, your partner will do the same, but the only thing that you can do is own your behavior.
In a romantic relationship, disagreements will happen. You might be confident that your stance on the issue is right. But, there are three stances in arguments, your position, your partner's opinion, and a compromise. When both of you listen to one another and make an effort to compromise, you will make a positive change in your relationship when you're willing to meet your partner halfway in a disagreement. It also comes back to acknowledging their feelings and caring about what they have to say. When you value your partner's viewpoint on something that matters, that builds trust. And trust is a crucial part of an intimate relationship. It only takes a moment to let your partner know that you care, and it makes all the difference in future disagreements. You have your emotions, and they have theirs. You may not get your way on everything, and they won't get all the things that they want either. That's the nature of compromise in a relationship. You care about the other person, and you prioritize what the most important things are to you, and let them have what the essential items on their emotional list are.
You don't have to come to your partner for everything. Your partner is someone that you love, and you want to be able to go to them for support and love, but they don't have to be your entire world. You can find ways to take care of yourself. If you're feeling anxious, for example, find ways to help yourself before turning to your partner before others. Support systems are valuable, but it's crucial that you try to help yourself before you ask for help from your support system because this will improve your independence. You don't want your relationship to be one-sided, and you don't want to stress each other out. So, when you're feeling stressed out, take a deep breath, and think, "what can I do right now to help myself?" It's vital to retain your hobbies and opinions as well; all of the things that make you who you are. The more independent you are, the better your relationship will be because you can come to your partner when you do need them, and you can bond and do things together. Being independent will make you feel good about you, and help you appreciate your time with your partner when you two get together.
Making your partner feel safe
In a romantic relationship, it's important to feel emotionally safe. If you can't express your feelings, that's not a healthy relationship. You deserve to be able to show your feelings and know that your partner is going to value them. If you feel unsafe sharing your feelings, there are problems in your relationship, and you need to address them. One of the safest places to talk about your issues is with a couples counselor in therapy. A couples therapist will hear both sides and translate what your partner needs to you, and what you need to your partner. It's beautiful to have an impartial party who cares about both of you. As much as you love one another, it's challenging to see things objectively. A couples counselor is a great person to mitigate problems and help you and your partner bond, which leads to staying together in the long-term.
Work on Your Relationship
It's important to remember that relationships are hard work. The more positive comments you make about your partner and the relationship, the better. That makes that other person feel loved and appreciated, especially during tough times. Relationships require an emotional connection with the person you love. It's about problem solving, and it's a good idea to talk things out with your partner before deciding to kill a relationship. Your significant other or you may become defensive and angry during the problem solving process, and that's normal. Sometimes you don't understand what your partner is saying. It's okay to ask for clarification. You're human beings, and happy couples aren't always content in their relationship. People argue sometimes, and that's okay. The best way to solve relationship problems without breaking up is to address the issues right away when you notice them. When the problems start, simply don't ignore them. Try not to become defensive and angry, but instead work on problem solving. If you feel like you and your partner can't get through these issues alone, one way to deal with them is in couple's counseling. Don't let your blood pressure get so high that you don't have a sense of humor about your relationship. Even during tough times, laughter can help. Try to discuss these issues with your partner, and if that's not working, move on to couples therapy.
The most common issues in relationships involve miscommunication. If you and your partner don't understand each other, there's room for miscommunication, and that's when the problems start. Another issue is the lack of intimacy in the bedroom. If you are not intimate or people have different intimacy preferences, that could be a problem in a relationship. Another issue is infidelity. If one person cheats, it's difficult to reconcile that trust.
Couples therapy is a wonderful place to work on relationship problems. One way to help your relationship is to avoid using passive aggressive comments with your partner. Remember that these remarks are coming from a place of hurt and anger. Instead of being afraid of being mad, address the emotion head-on. Great relationships make honesty a priority. It's essential to figure out what your truth is and express that to your significant other. People have disagreements and bicker. But, fighting in an extreme way isn't normal. It's something that needs to be addressed. You can talk about it with your partner or in therapy.
One thing you can do is say, "I need space." Then you have time to work on your emotional issues. You don't have to make a decision right away about your relationship and whether you want to end it. Taking space from your partner can help you see things clearly. After that time and space, you will have more insight into what to do next. When you have tried everything to work things out, you've gone to couple's therapy, but it doesn't seem to be working, it may be time to separate. Don't just kill a relationship because you don't know what to do, or you're at an impasse. Try to communicate the problems to your partner and see if you can work them out. It could be that the couple's therapy is helpful.
The best way to improve relationship love is to spend quality time together. Don't worry about what you do together. It could be anything from watching TV to going on a hike. Wherever you are, you can express vulnerable emotions, and let your partner get to know the real you. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it comes with a genuine connection. The more you know someone, the better chance you have at getting close to them. It's worth being vulnerable with your partner, so you have had a real connection. If both people believe that the relationship has a chance, and they're willing to work through the issues, then there's a chance to save it.
Every couple has arguments. But some people stay together for reasons that don't benefit their emotional health. Maybe one person is afraid to be alone. Perhaps the couple has children together, and they don't want to split up. It's crucial to examine why you're with your partner and decide if it's worth it to stay. Assess what is keeping you in the relationship. Ask yourself, "is this a toxic dynamic?" If the answer is yes, it could be time to end the relationship. If the fighting is because you misunderstand each other, or there are issues that need to be worked out, maybe you can talk about them in counseling. Some couples live together for a long time and get on each other's nerves. They have pet peeves about one another. It could seem like the couple is fighting over nothing, but little things can grow into larger issues.
Confront Relationship Problems
A relationship is over when you can't work through the problems. If it feels like you're at an impasse and you've tried to talk out your issues, and nothing is changing, that means it may be time to break up. Perhaps there are trust issues between you and your partner. If one person cheated, the trust is broken. Some couples can get through serious problems while other partners can't seem to let these issues go. It may be time to move on if you can't reach a compromise. It's best to try to save a break up before the relationship problems start. If people have decided to break up, you can't stop it from happening. It takes a lot to make a relationship work. You can take space from each other and then come back and see if it's a good idea to get back together. But, if you are taking space from one another, it's a good idea to use the time to figure out what you want. What needs to change in the relationship if you decide to get back together? You can't save a break up, but there's no telling what the future will hold. You can try couples counseling to work through relationship problems. It may help you save your connection.
When all else fails - or, even if these tips have helped you. And you have the right to search for help from a mental health professional, and couples counseling at https://www.regain.us/start/ can be the answer to saving a relationship. It's great to have a third party who is objective and can see things from an outside perspective. They can help you improve communication, and they can serve as a translator between you and your partner if there's a situation where you don't quite understand where the other is coming from. It's a place where you can say, "I don't know what to do, and I'm having trouble with this relationship." When you look for someone online or in your local area, know that couples counseling can help. Take a moment to search through the mental health professionals that help couples at ReGain, and find a way to get the help that you and your partner need.
“Dr. Burklow literally saved our relationship. I was honestly ready to call it quits. I shared this with my partner who stated that our relationship was worth fighting for. We joined Regain approximately two months before our wedding: that was six months ago. Needless to say we are now husband and wife. Since then, we learned tolerance and acceptance, not only of each other, but of ourselves. We began feeling and behaving like teammates as opposed to opponents. Though we looked forward to our weekly Tuesday night video sessions we knew couples therapy was not meant to be long term. In the short amount of time, Dr. Burklow provided us with the necessary tools to deal with conflict and ensuring a successful and healthy union. Thank you again Dr. Burklow!”
“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How can I solve my relationship without breaking up?
Great relationships are built on a foundation of trust and communication. You are not out of options just yet. If you want to solve any dilemma you and your partner may be facing, it is a good idea to work through it together like you would a puzzle. Look at it from all angels, evaluate all perspectives, and work together to put it back together.
What are the most common problems in a relationship?
Trust: Relationship problems start when trust stops. Many couples experience this on a scale anywhere between momentary distrust, to complete infidelity.
Money: Struggles with money can kill a relationship. Whether it be mutual financial hardship, or if one partner feels like they are pulling the weight, money issues are a common problem for many couples.
Distance: Long distance relationships sometimes have to work extra hard to keep communication lines open.
Sex: Problem solving issues concerning sex can be very difficult, and very sensitive for a lot of couples.
Repeated Arguments: It is easy to get defensive and angry when the same argument crops up too many times.
Regardless of the problem, it’s important to remember that common problems are the easiest to get advice about. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a person you love, or try couples therapy to work past common problems.
How can you help your relationship?
Try new things! If you are feeling disconnected from your partner, maybe try a new activity or do something that elicits quality time. Taking good care of your emotional connection can be done through many outlets.
Is it normal to fight everyday in a relationship?
Conflict is natural, and in many times inevitable. Fighting everyday though is probably not average for a healthy relationship. Even if it is not outright yelling, but rather passive aggressive arguments, they should not happen on an everyday basis. Experts say that fighting is a problem if you have five or more serious arguments a week.
What to say to stop a breakup?
There is no magic word to stop a break up. It is important to respect your partner’s feelings and wishes. That said, if you want your partner to reconsider, it’s a good idea to try asking what you can do to change the outcome. Cultivate the longevity of the relationship.
What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
Naturally, people value different things from a partner. For example, some people want their partner to have a good sense of humor, a stable job, or even good teeth. But these 5 things are important to any relationship:
Trust: Notice how this can also be a “common problem?” Just like in any relationship, trust is essential especially in a romantic relationship.
Communication: Your partner cannot read your mind. If there is something that needs problem solving, communicate that in an open and loving way.
Passion: Of course passion is not something you can really change. Do not worry if you feel it slipping from your relationship, there are plenty of ways to reinvigorate passion. Shake things up, try something new, see what sticks.
Timing: Timing is really another member of the relationship, and it has the power to make or break it. Be aware of how timing affects your relationship.
Respect: Mutual respect plays a major role in the growth of a healthy relationship. Human beings are programmed to desire respect, especially from those we feel closest to. Problems start often when respect ends.
When should you give up on a relationship?
It is difficult to say when to throw in the towel on a relationship. No one typically enters a relationship hoping it will end. If you feel like there is irreversible disrespect, distrust, or if you just think the timing is off, it’s okay to take a step back.
How can I improve my relationship love?
Happy couples are not without their problems. Loving relationships simply do not cultivate themselves. Just as you would a plant, water it with patience and kindness, and watch it grow.
How do you know if your relationship is worth saving?
The hope in any relationship is if you know, you know. If you are seeing results with your efforts to solve relationship problems, it is probably worth saving. The relationship work is hard, but it can be worth it in the long run.
Do couples who fight stay together?
Fighting in a relationship can not only raise the collective blood pressure, but also prevent room for growth. Being defensive and angry towards your partner consistently will not elicit the positive comments you probably want. Of course couples who fight can stay together, conflict will arise throughout the duration of any relationship, but the likelihood of working past fighting will depend on the response to the fighting in general.
Why do couples fight over nothing?
Underlying fears, problems, or anxiety can be the cause for fighting over what is seemingly nothing. Take sometime to unpack what really at the bottom of the issue.
How do you know when a relationship is really over?
It is hard to tell when a relationship is really over. Even after the romantic relationship has technically ended, it is common to have remaining feelings for that person. Remember, a relationship that was once romantic can sometimes still share love in a friend way.
How do you save a breakup?
If you do not understand why a relationship is ending, it can be tempting to try to save it. If your partner is willing to work on it with you, there are many things you can attempt to try to save it. Communicate, show respect and humility throughout the process.