When To Call It Quits In A Relationship

Updated October 10, 2022 by ReGain Editorial Team

In life, there will come certain times where a relationship has run its course. This can happen for various reasons, and depending on the dynamics of the relationship, realizing that the end has arrived can be emotionally painful. For as difficult as it may be to end a relationship, remaining in a relationship that is no longer healthy or beneficial will reap destruction, both in the short and long terms. For these reasons and many more, people need to know when to end the relationship. Before going into the specific details, taking note of what a healthy relationship looks like is very relevant.

The Healthy Relationship To Strive For

Are You Wondering If It's Time To Call It Quits?

A relationship is about two people joining together and becoming partners due to mutual affection for one another. Therefore, a healthy relationship should be about the needs, wants, and values of both individuals. This means giving and take and considering the feelings of one another. A healthy relationship is built upon mutual respect, fidelity, care, and consideration.

Two people who truly care about one another will show through their words and actions. Being in a healthy relationship doesn't always mean that everything will go smoothly or without a hitch; however, it does mean that when an issue arises, it's the two people versus the problem, not one partner versus the other. This critical dynamic often goes missing, thus leading to the downfall of so many relationships.

When a relationship starts to become unhealthy, this is a sign that it's time to end the relationship. Getting out of a relationship is not always easy, especially when there are feelings and history involved. Be that as it may, ending an unhealthy relationship or a relationship that has truly run its course will always be better than staying in a relationship that should not go on.

Signs That It's Time To Call It Quits

There are some pretty straightforward indicators when dealing with relationships that it's time to call it off. Sometimes people are not as aware of these indicators as others; in other cases, involved persons know that they need to call off a relationship but may struggle with wondering what to do if they leave. Granted, there are many reasons why people remain in relationships which they should end; however, covering the warning signs and the reasons why they warrant calling a relationship quits can be critical for both parties.

One-Sidedness

A healthy, successful relationship requires both individuals to put in the work. When one person is doing everything while the other does nothing, this is a sign that something is very wrong. Whenever the efforts to maintain closeness, spend time together, or otherwise engage in a relationship are one-sided, this means that it's time to end the relationship. Coming to terms with this reality can be challenging, especially when the person putting in all the work desperately wants the relationship to succeed.

Abuse

Abuse is the antithesis of love and mutual respect, which is supposed to hold a relationship together. Furthermore, there is never any excuse for someone to give or accept abuse in a relationship. Abuse can manifest in many forms, including physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.

If someone finds themselves in an abusive relationship, getting out as soon as possible and as quickly as possible is imperative. People have died because they remained in abusive relationships. Calling it quits may be tough initially, but it's worth being able to stay alive and having the possibility of a future relationship that is healthy.

Different Values/Life Goals

 This is not to say that both parties have to agree with one another on every single issue; however, if a relationship comprises two people who have very different outlooks and objectives in life, this is a sign that calling it quits might not be such a bad idea.

As human beings, we should all be growing and evolving. Sometimes, people grow and evolve together; in other cases, growth and evolution drive individuals away from one another, and that's OK. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. In many cases, certain relationships exist to help people learn about themselves and find out who they are. When someone finds themselves in a relationship with someone who has starkly contrasting values and goals, this is a sign that a more compatible partner may await them later on down the line.

Absence Of Trust

Trust is imperative in any relationship. When trust ceases to exist, so does the foundation of any healthy relationships. There are a series of actions and behaviors which can breach trust. Once trust is gone, it can be very hard to regain. Remaining in a relationship without trust is not healthy or conducive to short-term or long-term success.

Understanding what prompted the absence of trust in a relationship can be good for reflective purposes, but remaining in this relationship will become problematic. Two people who don't trust each other will inevitably begin to question one another's words, claims, and motives. This has a way of leading to additional problems later on down the line.

Interest In Someone Else

If one or both people in a relationship find themselves in a situation where they are seriously interested in someone other than their partner, this is a strong indicator that calling the relationship quits is a good idea. To some extent, fantasizing is normal, but when these fantasies impede upon the existence of a healthy and loving relationship, that's when issues arise.

Of course, there are many times where people cheat on their partner, and the relationship is still successful, but there was still a strain on the relationship for a period of time. Infidelity can also speak volumes about the morals to which someone holds themselves.

Infidelity

It's important to note that not everyone who experiences infidelity in a relationship calls it quits. However, this does not mean that remaining with an unfaithful partner is a good call. When two people enter into a partnership and agree to be monogamous, breaching that agreement violates trust. Furthermore, it displays disregard for the relationship and one's partner as a whole. Anyone who finds themselves in a relationship where they have been disrespected via infidelity should know that they deserve and can have better.

After Deciding To Call It Quits

Once you've decided to end the relationship, you may find personal reflecting to be helpful. No matter why the relationship ended, there is always something to be learned. Maybe you learned about yourself; maybe you learned about what you do or don't want in a relationship or partner. Sometimes, certain relationships can prepare us for better partnerships later on down the line. In many cases, one door has to close before another one can open.

After leaving a relationship, you may also find it helpful to have a reliable support system. Having people in your corner who can be there for you after such a major transition truly makes a positive difference. A healthy support system can also bring new ideas and food for thought to the table. Each individual has their unique perspective, which can be of value. Taking time to soak it all in will help you move forward from a relationship that has run its course.

A relationship should never encompass the entirety of your life. Having other hobbies and activities to keep your mind engaged is always helpful. If this didn't happen during your relationship, there's no time like now to get started. Sometimes, the end of a relationship means the beginning of someone discovering who they are as an individual. No person's identity should be completely linked to a relationship with someone else.

Seeking Professional Help

Are You Wondering If It's Time To Call It Quits?

If you are looking to end the relationship, are coming out of a tough relationship, or otherwise dealing with some other personal difficulty, you may find that signing up for online therapy with Regain to be helpful. Working with an online therapist comes with a series of upsides, namely the ability to receive care and assistance regardless of who you are or where you live.

Working with an online therapist will require time, rapport, and the willingness to hear what your therapist has to say. Even if certain pointers and feedback are unexpected, it's important to ultimately remember that your therapist has your best interests at heart. It is their job to be of service to you and get to know you and your situation. It's also important to remember that working with a therapist will not make your problems vanish. Instead, it will provide you with the strength, knowledge, and resources to conquer your obstacles and ensure that you never have to go through rough times by yourself.

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns

Speak With A Licensed Therapist
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.