What Makes A Good Relationship?

So, you've been seeing someone a while, and now instead of just dating, you're in a relationship. If you really like your partner and want the relationship to last, you may wonder what exactly goes into building a good relationship.

In this article, you will learn about many of the components of a healthy, happy romantic relationship. If you are struggling in certain aspects, you will also find out how you can get help so you and your partner can improve and have the best relationship possible. Keep reading to learn about some of the good qualities every relationship should have.

Respect

First and foremost, having mutual respect in a relationship lays the foundation for everything that comes after. Without it, you are probably not even friends. One-sided respect is unhealthy; it can put a lot of strain on the relationship if one person isn't pulling their weight. When respect becomes one-sided, the relationship may become more difficult to sustain. Nonetheless, respect can be improved and built on, allowing you to open the doors to fixing any other problems you may be experiencing.

Openness and honesty

If both partners are transparent, everyone's needs and concerns can be addressed. If couples aren't open about various aspects of the relationship, whether it involves finances, intimacy, or even plans for the future, the relationship can break down. It's possible, also, that resentment can build up. Taking the time to let your partner know your true thoughts can bring you closer together and create a more harmonious relationship.

Trust

Having trust in each other is something that most good relationships have in common. If there is any distrust in the relationship, this can be a recipe for disaster. For instance, there may be false accusations of infidelity, or there may be the feeling that one partner is unreliable. Trust means that you believe that your partner has your best interests in mind and that you can depend on them. While trust can be broken, it can also be fixed or built upon, turning a weak relationship into one that is much stronger. Respect and openness are a couple of ways that trust can be improved, but this can also involve taking risks together and giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Loyalty to each other is also a big component of trust—you should have each other's back.

Being comfortable with vulnerability

Showing a vulnerable side does relate to being open with one another, but it also typically involves each other's weak points. No one (and no relationship) is perfect, and it's okay to show your flaws to your significant other. It can benefit your relationship to avoid the tendency to try to be a superhero or heroine and admit your weak spots, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be. By letting your weaknesses be known to each other, you both can work on turning them into strengths—in turn, strengthening your partnership.

Compromises and sacrifice

Relationships do take work, and there will be times that you will have to do things that you might not necessarily be thrilled about doing. For example, your spouse's car might have broken down, and you will have to wake up extra early to take them to work. It's just a fact that, sometimes, things will come up that are inconvenient and unfavorable, and you might even express frustration over them, but the most important thing is that you have unconditional support for each other.

Forgiveness

It's normal and healthy for couples to disagree and have arguments from time to time. In fact, according to John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Method couples' therapy with his wife, Julie, around 69% of all marital problems are perpetual ones that don't ever truly go away; instead, they are managed, not resolved. Therefore, those in a good relationship know how to manage conflict effectively, and one of the best ways is through forgiveness. Harboring a grudge is unproductive, and it doesn't truly let you move past the issue.

Teamwork

Relationships that have one person doing all the work will typically end at some point, and often they won't last long at all. There is a reason why the person you are with is referred to as your "partner," and that's because relationships are a team effort. Without effort from both of you, things may start falling apart. Instead, healthy relationships are ones where people understand that maintaining a relationship is a collaboration and not a one-person show.

Affection and intimacy

Having intimacy separates a romantic relationship from an ordinary friendship. If there is a lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship, it may eventually go downhill. Showing affection and intimacy is not always about sex; rather, it also includes hugging, kissing, and even small gestures like leaving notes or flowers. Intimacy can even go beyond physically touching, and emotional understanding is crucial to the well-being of those in a relationship. In fact, building and maintaining emotional intimacy is the key to fixing physical intimacy issues that couples commonly face. Good relationships consist of couples that have a strong connection to one another, both physical and emotional.

Showing support

While there will be situations where you and your partner may disagree on something, unconditional support (when reasonable) is something that every good relationship should have. For example, if your significant other wants to try a new hobby, go back to college, or consider a new career path, it's important to be supportive of their decision. The only exception to this might be if your partner's decisions seem irresponsible or too risky. Showing support also includes being excited about and celebrating your partner's accomplishments and staying by their side through thick and thin. (They should be doing the same for you!)

Spending quality time together

It can be easy to fall into a routine if you have been with your partner for a while, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and do fun and sociable things. This is especially true for married couples, where spouses might just be going through the motions and stop going on dates. Life's responsibilities can be exhausting, but good couples will always find time for each other and do things they both enjoy doing. You can be as creative as you want to be, or you can schedule weekly events such as dining and movie nights; if you're both having fun and interacting with each other, you're doing just fine. 

Commitment

Having a good relationship means that you both are 100% committed to each other and trying to make it work. Commitment can be second nature for many people, while it's not always the case for others. However, this does not mean that mistakes cannot be made. Even with infidelity, which can undoubtedly create trust issues, some couples can work past this common problem and build better and stronger relationships by getting to the root of why they cheated. Despite possible mistakes in the past, committing will be required to pave the way for a relationship that lasts long into the future.

Communication

Finally, having effective communication skills is one of the defining characteristics of a healthy relationship. Communication covers a lot of ground, such as expressing needs and concerns, managing conflict, and showing affection. Having a productive dialogue is necessary for any couple looking to improve their relationship. Along with respect, it allows you to home in on areas where some work might be needed, such as bonding regularly and intimacy. Couples who talk often will tackle things as they develop—before those things can become a serious issue.

Build the foundation for a healthy relationship

As you can see, there are many components to a good relationship, and they go much deeper than simply enjoying each other's company.

Many of these components happen organically without much thought or effort; however, no relationship is perfect. Some couples will need to work on one or more of these aspects to improve their relationship.

If you find that you or your significant other might be lacking in one or more of these areas, there's nothing to be ashamed of, and your relationship is by no means weak; rather, think of it as ironing out some kinks. After all, couples counselors and marriage therapists exist for a reason—there are many people out there looking to make their relationships better, and they are there to help.

Many people who are in a relationship they want to foster and grow turn to online therapy for help. It can be hard to schedule in-person therapy when two people's schedules need to be considered. Online therapy makes this a little easier—plus, you can meet anywhere there's an internet connection.

Regain is an online therapy platform designed to help those in relationships. Licensed therapists can help you and your partner work on communication skills, building trust, and increasing respect in your relationship, all of which are essential to addressing the specific issues that you and your partner might be facing at this time. With these skills in place, you can then deal with things as they come up more productively and efficiently. And you can get support via text, telephone, or video chat, so help is never far away. 

Takeaway

If it seems like your relationship fits most, if not all, of these great relationship traits, give you and your partner a pat on the back (it is a team effort, after all). Hopefully, you will maintain a good relationship by understanding what it takes to have one, but if problems rear themselves up somewhere down the line, don't fret—help is always available.