Five Goodnight Texts to Send to Someone You're Dating - And When To Send Them
By Aaron Smith
Updated December 04, 2019
Reviewer Rashonda Douthit , LCSW
Texting can be a bit of an art form. Without facial expressions, body language, vocal inflection, and tone, it can be hard to convey the message you want to. People can read with sarcasm what you meant with sincerity and vice versa.
Since you have to rely on words alone to convey your meaning, you have to be precise with what you say and how you say it. Saying a vague statement such as, "I guess" can be taken negatively whereas, in person, it may have been a simple substitute for "I don't know." However, inflection, tone, and body language are absent in a text message.
It's essential to communicate effectively over text message and say what you mean.
Texting is one of the ways we have conversations in this modern age. Sometimes there is a quick back and forth, playful banter, or jokes. Other times, it can be a serious conversation with longer messages. Either way, it is essential to be honest with your words and to be as transparent as possible, so the other person doesn't misconstrue what you are saying.
This is especially true when dating. When you are texting with someone you are in a relationship with, miscommunications can lead to arguments, fights, and hurt feelings. Being clear and direct is a good way to avoid a needless confrontation.
There is another way we use text messaging. Sometimes we send one-off texts, messages that don't require a response. These are often feeling statements such as, "I love you" or "Thinking about you." Statements like this don't necessarily require an immediate answer but are ways we can communicate to our significant other what we are thinking and feeling.
These are relevant statements to make, as they show vulnerability and honesty about what we feel about the person. Without these kinds of texts, the other person may feel more distant and that you are acting a bit cold. Opening up is an excellent way to keep the relational fire lit and burning bright.
Times of Day to Text
One-off messages can come at any time, but usually, they revolve around our lives, and the time we have to talk via text. You can expect these kinds of texts first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, and at bedtime.
Good morning texts are cute because they show that your partner is thinking about you at the beginning of their day. They want to connect with you first thing.
Midday texting is a gentle reminder that you are on their mind throughout the day. We all like to know when someone we love is thinking about us.
The goodnight text is a bit different, however. It is a time when, yes, your partner is telling you that you are one of the last things they think about during the day, but it is also a moment when people tend to be less guarded and more open with their feelings. Goodnight texts can get a mushy, saying things they may not say at other points of the day.
Good Night Texts Matter
The goodnight text wraps up the day, puts a bow on things if you will. It can end an argument, be a capstone on a good day, or brighten up an otherwise crummy day for the person receiving the text. It's the last-minute reminder that the other person is thinking about you still before they drift off to sleep.
In these good night messages, feelings may come out. Statements like, "I wish I were falling asleep with you," "I miss you," and, "I love you" are statements that show genuine emotions and intent. These phrases can reveal where your partner is in the relationship if they are thinking about going to the next level and give you an unvarnished look at how they see you.
What to Say
There are many things you can say in a goodnight text. Remember, you want to be transparent and open in your communication to avoid confusion or misunderstanding. Say what you mean.
Men and women may send different goodnight texts. Sometimes, goodnight texts to her can be a simple statement or emoji. Other times, it may be a bit longer, more thought out message. A good night text to him may be anything from a string of emojis to a paragraph telling him about your day.
Here are a few ideas and what they could mean.
I Love You
"I love you" is a straightforward statement. You are telling your partner exactly how you feel with a classic statement of affection. "I love you" can become easy to say. You mustn't let it become something so familiar that it loses its meaning. Mean what you say every time you say it, and you can keep this a special goodnight text through the relationship.
"I love you" is most likely not to be used at the beginning of a relationship. It represents the seriousness that casual dating doesn't have. Send this text when you are ready to take the relationship to another level. Send "I love you" when you are ready to be vulnerable, take a risk, and move to the next level with this person.
From a winking kissy face to a heart to a laughing face, emojis can convey ideas without words. Some emojis are flirty and fun, like kissy faces, winking faces, and blushing smiling faces. Others communicate something sweet. Smiley faces with hearts, for example, can communicate you love what the other person has said, or the person. Emojis can communicate several messages, so make sure that when you send them, you can provide a context with either words or other emojis.
Emojis are appropriate to send when you are being fun. They provide smiles and laughter. When the topic is more serious, you may want to shy away from the use of emojis. However, especially at the beginning of a relationship, keeping the goodnight communication light and flirty is a way to keep a spark going in a dating relationship.
While "good night" is a neutral statement, being neither positive nor negative in itself, it is a good thing to say at the beginning of a relationship to signify the close of the evening's conversation. It's straight forward but doesn't convey much emotion. If you are trying to tell the person you're dating about your feelings, consider adding a pet name like "babe" or "sugar" to the end. This way it becomes more personal.
"Good night" is good to use any time in the relationship. While you can use "good night" right from the beginning, you may want to save the pet name or combining it with "I love you" until further along in the relationship.
It's both appropriate and kind to say "sweet dreams" at the end of the night. You are wishing your partner goodnight, good sleep, and pleasant dreams, which conveys that you are thinking about their wellbeing.
Wishing someone "sweet dreams" is a good night text that you can use right from the beginning. "Sweet dreams" is a good night text for her or him. It's relatively benign by itself, but later on, in the relationship can be combined with a pet name or "I love you" to make it more emotional and personal.
Thinking of You
"Thinking of you" is an excellent text that can say you want to take the relationship to another level. On the surface, it may not seem that way, but what it implies is that they are thinking about you in bed with them, that they want you there with them. This shares that you want a deeper intimacy with the person to whom you are sending the text.
Sending the text "thinking of you" is asking for more intimacy and, therefore, should be used when you want to move deeper into the relationship. So you may not want to use it at the beginning of the dating relationship, the time when you are still getting to know each other.
Keeping the Relationship Healthy
No matter what goodnight-message you are sending, you want to give the precise and open communication that promotes health and growth in your relationship. A licensed, online therapist can help make those goals a reality. With a therapist's help, you and your partner can strengthen your relationship, communicate and disagree in healthy ways, and make the relationship what the two of you want it to be.
Send That Text
Goodnight texts can communicate a lot in a little phrase or emoji, but this shouldn't scare you away from the goodnight text. In a dating relationship, it is an essential piece of communication, a great way to end out the day and lets your partner know that you are thinking about them and that you care.
Be honest in your goodnight text. Be genuine. Say what you mean and let your partner know how special they are to you. All by saying a simple "good night."