Is It Important To Always Send A Goodnight Text?

Updated September 19, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

In any relationship, it is natural to want to talk to your partner often. Some relationships have different norms or expectations about communication, and it can be important to be aware of these. It might be normal for one couple to text and talk daily. Another couple might go an entire week without calling or texting, and for them, this might be acceptable. If you're wondering whether it is important to always send a goodnight text, it can depend on your unique relationship. Figuring out whether to set this standard is up to both partners to decide.

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Communication Can Be An Important Aspect Of Healthy Relationships

What Is A Goodnight Text?

If you do not live with your partner or you are away from home often, you may want to wish them a good night. A goodnight text can be a kind way to let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. These text messages can take many forms. Some examples of goodnight texts include:

— Sweet dreams
— Night dear
— Sleep tight
— Have a wonderful night
— Good night sweetheart
— Good night honey
— Pleasant dreams
— Good night my treasure
— Hope you have a restful sleep
— Have good dreams tonight
— Can’t wait to talk tomorrow 

— Good night love of my life 

— Can’t wait to see you again!

— Hope the love of my life has pleasant dreams

— Night my love, Good night love, or Good night my love
— Night darling or Good night darling

You could also send some of your favorite love quotes as a romantic good night text. These kinds of text messages can help strengthen the bond between you and your partner. A romantic goodnight text can not only comfort them but make them think of you each time the moon shines. Something as simple as “I love you, good night” can be effective. Another way to show affection and remind your partner that you care could be to send good morning texts in addition to goodnight texts. However, you may not be sure if you should send goodnight texts. The following may help you determine whether or not you should wish your partner sweet dreams at night, and whether you should expect goodnight text messages back.

Is It Important To Always Send A Goodnight Text?

If you're trying to determine how important it is to send a goodnight text, then you may want to start thinking about how you regularly communicate. Do you talk to your partner every day? Do you usually wish them a good morning? If so, then sending a goodnight text might be appropriate. Goodnight messages can be a sweet way to show that you are thinking of someone before you close your eyes.

If you're bothered or hurt that your partner doesn’t send goodnight texts very often, consider looking at things from their perspective. Some people forget to do little things — such as sending goodnight texts — due to being very busy or tired. If your significant other works a very physical job, then they might be exhausted by the time it gets close to bedtime. The fact that they didn't text you good night doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care or are ignoring texts on purpose. Your partner may have desperately needed restful sleep and didn’t think to send any goodnight texts.

You'll also find that some people don't place as much significance on actions like goodnight texts. If your partner isn't someone who sends a lot of texts, then it may not be appropriate to expect them to send you sweet goodnight texts all the time, particularly if they’ve expressed their poor texting habits. In general, it can come down to your relationship dynamic and how you communicate. If having a goodnight text exchange is important to you, discuss it with your partner. Your partner cannot read your mind; therefore, it can be vital to let them know what your expectations and needs are so they can try to meet them and let you know when they can’t.

To Send Or Not To Send

Keep in mind that there may be no harm in sending a sweet goodnight message before bed each night. As long as you are considering how the other person feels about it, you can normally proceed with sending the text. If, however, someone expresses that they are uncomfortable with the texts or their frequency, it can be important to respect their boundaries and wishes. If sending these types of texts is a desire of yours, try finding people who have the same values in this area.

When Your Partner Doesn't Send A Goodnight Text

Typically, if your partner doesn't send you a “good night” text every night, this doesn’t indicate that something is wrong in your relationship. They might have just forgotten or became too tired to stay awake. 

However, if wishing your partner goodnight is the norm for you, it might be strange if this behavior suddenly stops. Once you are back in contact with your significant other, speak up about any concerns you might have and talk about the change with them. It may be that a change in communication patterns is needed due to work schedules or busy times ahead. Honest and open communication can be essential. 

If it’s something you feel obligated to do nightly, a goodnight text can become less special, which is why many people reserve them for when they’re talking right before bed and don’t necessarily send them out of the blue on a nightly basis. Even so, verbalizing the reason for the change in communication can be crucial so that your partner understands that nothing is wrong.


Communication Is Key To A Successful Relationship

Whether or not you send romantic goodnight texts all the time, it can be helpful to note that communication is just one key to a successful relationship. You need to be able to communicate with your partner so that you can be on the same page about different matters, including goodnight texts. Talking to your partner about any concerns that you might have can be essential for moving past them. Knowing that you can turn to your significant other when you need comfort can also help put your mind and body at ease. 

Working on your communication often involves being willing to open up. Try to be vulnerable and transparent in your relationship so that you can build a bond that is based on honesty. This can give your relationship a firm foundation and help you make room to grow together in the future. If communication is an issue for both or either of you, counseling can help. You can also learn more about communication for couples from books and expert sources online. Some couples find communication worksheets or exercises helpful. 

Communicating with your partner is about much more than just sending sweet goodnight text messages. It's about tearing down emotional barriers and being willing to place trust in someone. Over time, you can become more comfortable doing this. If your partner is the one who needs help with being more emotionally available, try to spend time working on things with them. Goodnight messages may be a positive way to start.

Set Boundaries

If you feel the need to be in constant communication with your partner, it can be important to start a discussion with them about your experience. Healthy relationships rely on honesty and communication. If you find yourself texting your partner day and night without reciprocation, or if your anxiety makes it so you can’t wait for their response, talk to them about it. You can't expect your partner to adhere to a guideline for communication that you haven't both discussed and agreed on, and that includes goodnight texts. Setting boundaries around communication can be important, and this includes things like goodnight texts. 

Check in with your partner about communication expectations and discuss what you both prefer. Discuss times when communication may feel like more of an obligation or when it might be healthiest to hang back a bit, like when one of you are with family or friends for a special event. Unless there’s a situation where one partner is expectant of a high level of communication and gets upset when it’s not there, this conversation doesn’t need to be a big sit-down talk. Instead, it can be as simple saying, “Hey, while I’m on vacation with my family, I’m going to have my phone down most of the time. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to see you when I get back.”

If your partner is used to constant or near-constant communication and you haven’t set this boundary in the past, a bigger discussion might be appropriate. For example, you may discover that your partner has building resentment regarding your boundary or is experiencing anxiety or worry when you’re away and less responsive. This is common among those with anxious attachment styles. Provide your partner with reassurance by telling them that you love them, can’t wait to spend time with them when you get back, and that if you don’t reply right away or until the evening when you’re done spending time with family, it isn’t at all personal and is only because you want to respect your family’s time by putting your phone away and living in the moment. You might even express appropriate times for them to call, or they might ask you when it’s a good time to call so that you’re 100% clear with each other.

A little bit of distance can be healthy for any relationship. It can help each of you appreciate the time that you do have together that much more. How much distance is healthy for a relationship can be tough to determine. Try to find a comfortable medium that works for both you and your partner through careful discussion. Remember, too, that every relationship is different regarding time spent together, texting frequency, and more. What matters is that you and your partner are on the same page and in a happy, healthy relationship that allows each of you to grow individually and together. 

Communication Can Be An Important Aspect Of Healthy Relationships

Online Counseling With Regain 

If you’re having problems with communication within your relationship, it can be important to get to the bottom of it. When you and your partner feel stuck, reaching out to a licensed professional could help. Regain is an online platform that provides counseling for individuals and couples alike. Since you can connect with your therapist at any time that works for you and your partner, it may be easier and more convenient to get the care you both need. Having an unbiased person to mediate between you and your significant other can allow both of you to express yourselves openly and clearly. 

The Efficacy Of Online Counseling 

Couples experiencing relationship distress may benefit from online counseling, according to this study. Researchers found that couples participating in an online intervention showed reduced symptoms of anxiety. Couples also experienced significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and had fewer depressive symptoms.

The Takeaway

There are many different ways people can choose to show that they care about another person. For some people, texting their significant other throughout the day helps them stay connected. Others prefer to send a goodnight text every night to show the person they’re in a relationship with that they’re thinking about them before bed. It can be important to determine what’s important to each partner and figure out what makes each individual feel loved. Together, couples can learn how to support, care for, and love each other in a way that the other person is receptive to. Those experiencing challenges showing or receiving love could benefit from the guidance of a licensed online relationship counselor. 

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