Is It Okay To Send Goodnight Texts To Her If You’re Not In A Relationship?

Updated January 20, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

No doubt, text messages are an excellent tool for communication, especially in today’s fast-paced world. Advancements in technology have their advantages and disadvantages. In many ways, it has simplified some of the most complicated areas of life. But in others, it makes the simplest things seem complicated. Communication is at the bedrock of any kind of relationship, and text messages are one of the ways through which lots of people express their feelings to the people in their lives. They are so important and depending on how you use them; they can either help you strengthen the bond in your relationship. When it comes to dating or marital relationships, understanding how to express your feelings to your partner is very important. People who make conscious efforts to communicate with their partners openly stand a higher chance at building successful relationships.

For instance, when used correctly, texting can be very helpful for you to reach out and touch the heart of your partner or a love interest. This includes goodnight texts to send someone you’re dating.  However, texting is a simple act that can cause mass confusion in many ways. Sending texts is a convenient means of communication, but a text can also be misleading. Understanding the positives and negatives of texting will help you know the best way to communicate with your loved ones. For this reason, people question themselves before sending certain text messages. The most common doubt-inducing text scenarios include:

  • How long should you wait to send a text after the first date?
  • Should you text or call after the initial exchange of phone numbers?
  • Is it okay to text a co-worker about non-work issues?
  • How long should you wait before replying to a text from someone you like?

These are only a few of the many questions that cross the minds of millions of people each day. One of the biggest questions regarding texting is one that many people ponder for hours before reaching a final decision. It’s one that you may view as relatively simple, but only if you’ve never been in this situation before. Many people wonder if it’s okay to send goodnight texts to someone if you’re just friends or not in a relationship. Why is this such a complicated issue for most people? It could be one of many reasons, but the most common is that the person sending the text may want to pursue something more than a friendship with the recipient.

Maintaining Friendships Via Text

Sometimes, there’s a plain and simple explanation for sending a good night text. You really value the friendship but are simply too busy to connect or see each other often. Trying to keep in touch with your friend who you do not see very often and maintaining a strong bond you both can be very challenging for anyone. Juggling between attending to work demands, busy schedules and everyday demands — life can get in the way. A goodnight text is a simple but effective way to let your friend know you’re thinking of them. Life’s complications can make keeping in touch with friends almost impossible. But the major technological advancements provide tools to bridge the gap. Mobile devices and social media allow you to create a game plan that helps to maintain your friendships, regardless of distance. In just a few clicks, you can check up on your friends, send wishes and messages, or good-will texts to let them know they are on your mind.

If you have a friend that you value but can’t manage to see or talk with often, sending a goodnight text isn’t a bad idea. This way, you let your friend(s) know that regardless of the distance and busyness, they are still an integral part of your life. You may be surprised that a goodnight text helps lift the spirits of someone who may have had a bad day and can’t fall asleep. It’s a nice feeling to know that you’re in someone’s thoughts, and a goodnight text is an ideal way to show you care, put a smile on their face and help them have a beautiful and peaceful sleep. Staying in touch with your long-distance friend is something that should not be taken lightly, especially if the friendship means a lot to you. Every friendship is unique and special; however, maintaining long-distance friendships require more time commitment compared to a friend who stays just around the corner or one you see frequently. Perfecting your texting game is one very effective way to make these friendships work and keep the good vibes alive.

To build and/or maintain your friendships through text messages and make them thrive, there are some key ingredients to put in place. First, it is important to have and show genuine interest in the other person and show sincere care for them. You can express this by asking questions about them, their interests, and their everyday life. You never know what is really going on in someone's life, and checking on them may be what they need to brighten their day. Your message can make their mind be filled with beautiful thoughts that help them get over their heaviness and help them sleep well. Another thing is to try your best to be consistent and reliable in your interactions with your friend. The other things in your life calling for your attention can make it easy to cut off communication abruptly, especially when it comes to texts. The other person should be able to count on you not to just ‘ghost’ on them. Being deliberate about keeping in touch can be as easy as punching in thoughtful words on your phone keyboard and sending to your friends. Here below are some text message scenarios to revive or maintain your friendship via texts:

  • Tell them you miss them. If you both haven’t seen each other in a while, you can send them a message like “I miss you. What’s new?” Although this may seem too simple, it is important to know that even the simple things mean a lot would mean a lot to your friend when done from the heart. When you ask them what’s new, you are allowing them to set or redirect the tone of communication. They may either chastise you for not reaching out or returning their calls or return the gesture and tell you they miss you too. They may attempt to give you a rundown of the many things that have been happening in their life. At some point, the conversation may need to go beyond texting, and they may try to schedule a meet-up, maybe over lunch. Regardless of how far apart you and this person may be physically, reaching out to see how they're doing and being genuinely interested in catching up will not go unnoticed. And the gesture will be appreciated. It helps your friend to know that they are on your mind and you are committed to staying connected to them, despite the distance and the gap in communication.
  • Apologize for not staying in touch, and ask how they have been. Between juggling the many things calling for your attention — school, career, family and life demands in general — it may be difficult to stay in touch with a friend who isn’t so physically accessible as compared to someone you see regularly. It is not bad to get real and admit that you’ve been far away. You should be able, to be honest with your friend, right? Don’t be scared to admit or take responsibility for the breach in communication. Maybe you couldn’t keep up with staying in touch. Or maybe you weren't responsive to their attempts to connect because you got too busy or you were going through some challenges in life. Whatever the reason is that made you pull back or drop the ball in the friendship, admitting your fault to your friend and making them know you are sorry is a thoughtful thing to do. It is a different thing if you drop the ball repeatedly, and you abuse this approach by constantly sending “I’m sorry” messages. Then the apologies would be considered insincere, feel fake, and hollow. However, if you are the type of friend who usually keeps in touch but life just got in the way, your apology would feel genuine. This would then be a great way to reconnect with your friend. Asking them how things have been could make them like feel you aren’t just trying to ‘report in’ but are genuinely interested in conversing.
  • Send amusing videos or memes to make them laugh. One good thing about humor and laughter is that it instantly connects you to the initiator. Sending hilarious videos or memes to your friend can help you build a sort of bonding. It is important to be careful while doing this though, because sending funny messages to someone you are not so close to or you are typically out of touch with can feel weird. There is a way funny videos and memes can help distract us from the busyness and challenges of everyday life. Sometimes, our friends may have been through a tough time or been busy or stressed. good moments of laughter especially at the end of a hectic day may be just what they need to light up their mood and look forward to the new day ahead with hope and enthusiasm.
  • Remind them of beautiful memories you had together. Reminiscing on beautiful moments you have together has a way of bringing people closer. Although those times are in the past, they still carry  unforgettable memories for both of you. Getting a text message like “Hey, remember one time we did such and such together…?” from a friend is a super fun way to take a trip down memory lane. You can also send them some beautiful old pictures of both of you to remind them of all your epic memories. These sort of messages give depth to a friendship and will most certainly put a smile on their face.

Understanding A Goodnight Text

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To put it simply, a goodnight text is exactly what it implies, a text to say good night. They could arrive before a person plans to go to bed but as an indication that the sender is wishing you a good night. They may also arrive after an engaging conversation. A goodnight text  could mean more to other person than you could imagine. The goal in most goodnight texts is to let the recipient know that you’re on their mind for one or more reasons. Women especially like it when they know that they are in your thoughts. It is important to maintain clarity in the message when sending texts. It’s easy for the recipient to perceive or misperceive the intended message.

Here are a few goodnight texts to consider if you’re not in a relationship:

1. Hey! Just checking on you, I know you had a big day today.

Checking on friends is what friends do, right? Sending a text at the end of the day to find out how your friend’s day went is a good way to say good night to them. If it wasn’t a good day, you may be able to send words of inspiration to help them end their day on a positive note.

2. I know we haven’t had a chance to chat lately, but I hope you’ve had a great day.

This one could be considered as the goodnight apology type text. It’s a way of apologizing for not keeping in touch but lets them know that you’re thinking of them. Most friends understand that life gets chaotic and just because friends don’t talk every day, doesn’t make the friendship any less valuable.

3. Try to get some rest tonight.

Sometimes, a friend may be overwhelmed with the details of life. A goodnight text could encourage them to get some much needed rest. It’s a way of showing that you’re concerned about them and want them to take care of themselves.

4. Call me in the morning.

The “call me in the morning” text is a common one that implies that the day has come to an end, and you look forward to speaking with them tomorrow. Friends often ask other friends to call them. This is a text exchange that occurs between friends or in relationships.

5. I know today was a busy one. We’ll talk tomorrow.

This goodnight text shows consideration to the recipient. It’s a way of acknowledging that their busy schedule may have prevented the two of you from talking today, but tomorrow may present a different opportunity.

Here are a few good night texts to consider if you are interested in more than a friendship:

1. I can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow.

This text shows your desire to connect with the recipient the next day. It sets the stage for something more than just a friendship.

2. You’re always on my mind at the beginning and end of each day.

Once you’ve decided to let your friend know that you want more than a friendship, this text is a great door opener. It’s important that you be prepared for their response to be one of acceptance or rejection.

3. Texting to say good night because I’ve been thinking of you all day.

Stop torturing yourself, and let your friend know how you really feel. If you’ve caught feelings for your friend, let them know. Keep in mind that true friends are rare. If you feel it will jeopardize your friendship, take precaution in the way you approach this conversation.

4. Going through old pics and found this one of us. We would make a cute couple.

If you want to know what your friend thinks about the possibility of a relationship with you, this text could be the best way to get an answer. Their reply would reveal if they think that there is a possibility for more than just a friendship. It’s ideal to send this as a goodnight text, because it prevents the remainder of the day from being awkward for the both of you.

5. I’m tired of spending my nights without you.

If a blunt approach is your thing, this goodnight text is for you. Let your friend know that you have romantic feelings for them by this in a text. They may feel the same way but could be waiting on you to initiate the conversation.

The Misinterpretation of Text Messages

There is a huge misrepresentation in text messages because there is no emotion in texting. In-person communication works better for some people. This is especially true if there are issues or trouble in the relationship. In most cases, text messages are more liable to be misunderstood or misinterpreted because they cannot accurately convey tone, facial expressions, body language, emotions, eye contact, or oral speech.

The lack of tone in texts has caused some relationships and friendships to suffer hardships. How can you prevent misinterpretation in texts? It may not be possible to prevent it entirely, but there are ways to decrease the chances that a goodnight text is misinterpreted.

Here are a few tips to help ensure that your texts aren’t misinterpreted.

Keep the texts simple. Always strive to send a simple message that’s easy to understand. Keep sentences short to prevent any degree of uncertainty in what you want to say. Simple words and sentences help increase the probability that your text won’t be misinterpreted. It may not make sense to send long and engaged sentences because they will could be misunderstood.

Be careful with abbreviations. Although text messages are mostly expected to be brief, it is however important to use basic terms and especially abbreviations that people are familiar with. You will most likely run yourself into hot water and out people off during conversations if you are used to making up your own terms or abbreviations or using uncommon ones.

Use basic vocabulary. If you’re a person that normally uses an extensive vocabulary, save it for the in person conversations. Text messages aren’t a good platform for big words and technical vocabulary. Over complicated words or jargons is how some people fail to understand what others mean in their text messages.

Be brief and accurate. Conciseness is the core of clarity. This is a good rule of thumb to follow when sending a text, email, or other written messages. Always be brief and to-the-point. Avoid the use of needless words, sentences, and clauses.

Be careful with flirting. While text messages can be an amazing platform for flirting, it is important to exercise caution with them. Be honest and sincere, and most importantly, exercise discretion. You do not want to get sassy, be seen as rude, or raise expectations that will hurt the person you are flirting with. Or worse, lead the other person on into something you do not intend.

Don’t forget to spell check. It’s common for people to hit the send button on a text message without reading it over. This is especially important if you want to impress the person you’re texting. It may not be perceived well if you misspell several of the words in your message. While spellcheck is important, there is some research that indicates a few misspelled words could help to deliver the intended message more effectively.

It is also helpful to consider the 5 C’s of effective communication. It is always important to maintain quality communication with your friends, whether you’re romantically involved or not. The 5 C’s of communication are applicable in verbal and written communication.

Concreteness displays strength in texting. It helps you to send a solid message to the recipient. This is the type of message that is usually supported by solid facts. It prevents the text from sounding too vague and adds meaning to it.

Coherence ensures that the message remains on target. Most misinterpretations occur because of the inconsistency in text messages. The recipient should have no problem understanding the details of the text.

Completion is necessary for effective communication, even texting. If you have a habit of sending incomplete texts, you likely experience many occurrences where your texts are misunderstood. Be sure to provide any relevant information when sending a text message. Completion in texts enhances the communication and prevents the need for the recipient to assume certain things.

Clarity is the most obvious “C,” as it is important to be clear in your message. When sending a good night text to her, use words that you typically use when speaking with them in person. When all else fails, remember the common rule and just keep it simple.

Courtesy is a trait that all messages should display. If the recipient can clearly see that you’re being kind, they may be more receptive of the message, and maintain a positive outlook.


Text communication is a convenience in many situations, but it can put a strain on some relationships. If you’re at a crossroads in the relationship or friendship, it may be best to talk in person. This prevents the situation from becoming worse due to misinterpretation of a text.

If you’re in a place where you’ve found it difficult to communicate with others outside of texting, you may want to talk with a therapist to overcome those difficulties. Texting should be complementary to other forms of communication and not the sole means of communication between friends. When you feel a friend is going through something serious, pick up the phone and call if you can’t be there for them. However, sending a goodnight text can help to keep a casual or romantic friendship afloat.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist at ReGain if you need support.

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