What Makes A Woman Attractive? Knowing Which Traits Can Attract The Partner of Your Dreams

Updated November 15, 2019

Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC

Women can often become confused as to what people find attractive. While attractiveness is largely a matter of preference and perception, it is common for certain traits to come up again and again when surveying men about what they find attractive in a woman. While some of these common traits of attractiveness in women are physical in nature, some of them have to do with attitude and how the woman carries herself or behaves in certain situations.

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Elements of Attraction

Most people think of physical attraction when they think about what makes a woman attractive. But there are other elements to attraction as well. Often looks alone are not enough to capture a man's attention and keep it. Here are the three elements of attraction that most people are not aware of.

Physical Attraction

Physical attraction has a different level of importance for everyone. Of course, there should be some type of physical attraction for successful interaction and beginnings of a relationship. But the amount of physical attraction that you require may also be based on the type of relationship that you are looking for. Experts say that short-term casual relationships rely much more on physical attraction than long-term serious relationships.

Psychological Attraction

One of the biggest reasons for dating is to create connections. These connections that we create, that spark of chemistry that we have with someone, is a psychological attraction. The psychological attraction has more to do with personality and style than physical appearance. To determine psychological attraction, you have to have some meaningful conversations to get to know one another. You will not be able to determine if you are psychologically attracted to someone without some additional interaction.

Behavioral Attraction

Behavioral attraction lies somewhere between physical attraction and psychological attraction. Behavioral attraction refers to being attracted to the way someone behaves, which can have a lot to do with one's self-confidence, overall attitude, or outlook on life. Behavioral attraction is what people refer to when they say that confidence can be a sexy trait. How someone behaves can be as much as a turn-on for men as physical appearance.

Traits That Make A Woman Attractive

There are many different traits that men and women might find attractive in a woman. Of course, every individual is different and has different preferences and means of attraction. But for the most part, these traits of attraction for women will give you a good idea of what men are looking for in a woman and what traits they find most attractive.

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A More Mature Appearance

A recent study found that men looking for a long-term relationship were more likely to be attracted to women who had a more mature look. This does not necessarily mean that they are attracted to older women, but rather that they would rather have a woman that looks more mature rather than younger and more like a teenager. The study found that this was especially true for men who had a mother that was over 30 when they were born.

Similar Traits with Parents

They do say that a woman looks for a man like her father, and a man looks for a woman like his mother. There is some truth to these statements. Surveys have been conducted that found that most people find traits similar to their parents to be highly attractive in members of the opposite sex. These traits are familiar and comforting and may or may not be healthy attractors.

A Sense of Humor

Most men will agree that a woman must have a good sense of humor to be attractive. But how men and women judge a sense of humor is different. A study was done that surveyed men and women about traits they found attractive found that men are more attracted to a woman that finds their sense of humor funny rather than having a distinct sense of humor of their own.

Head Tilt

Yes, how you tilt your head can make you more or less attractive to other people. An Australian study found that men are more attracted to women how to tilt their head at a particular angle. In the study, men were more frequently attracted to women who were tilting their head at a slightly forward angle so that they were looking up.


Surveys have found that most men are attracted to a woman who is adventurous and is willing to take some minor risks. A woman who is willing to try new things and take some reasonable risks is much more attractive than a woman that does not want to have adventures big or small.

High Pitched Voice

Although some women try for a low, sultry voice when they are feeling sexy, studies suggest that men find the opposite attractive. Most men find a higher-pitched voice more attractive than a lower voice. This seems to remain to be true even when women are attempting to be more attractive. Next time you want to be sexy, leave your voice as it is rather than trying to lower it.


Believe it or not, women are more attractive when they are ovulating. The science behind this is truly amazing. Studies done on the subject have found that when women are the most fertile, their voices are higher, their body odor changes, and there may be subtle changes to the color of skin and lips as well. Most men find women more attractive during their most fertile days.

Waist to Hip Ratio

An hourglass figure may be the goal of every woman, but it is not the most attractive shape for men. Surveys of men show that the waist to hip ratio is the most important element as to the attractiveness of the shape of the body. The survey showed that men were most attracted to women with a waist to hip ratio of .68 to .8. This waist to hip ratio is more important even than size.

Personality Traits

Personality traits such as kindness are very important to attractiveness of a woman. A Chinese study found what they call the halo effect. The halo effect essentially is that men find women more attractive when they have a good personality. The Chinese study showed men pictures of attractive women and asked them to rate them, then two weeks later showed the same pictures again but gave personality traits. The personality of the women made them more or less attractive to men.

An Average Bust

Most women think that men want a woman with large breasts, but recent studies have shown otherwise. Men seem to be attracted to women who have a medium or average breast size. Those women with a B or C cup are found to be more attractive than women with larger or smaller breasts.

Good Hair

Many men are attracted to a woman with good hair. According to one survey, 89 percent of men look at hair first. Most men are attracted to a woman with longer, flowing hair that they can run their fingers through and play with. Men are also attracted to a woman with thicker hair or curly hair.

Tattoos and Piercings

Some men do not like women to modify their bodies, but a survey done of 1300 men found that the majority would find a tattoo or piercing attractive. In fact, 69 percent of the men surveyed said that they would find a tattoo attractive, while 55 percent said they would find a piercing attractive. Men surveyed said that tattoos on the shoulder or upper back were the most attractive, while a belly button piercing was found to be the most attractive body piercing according to the survey.

Long Legs

Men much prefer women with long legs. Even men who prefer shorter women are more likely to be attracted to the woman if her legs are proportionately longer than they maybe should be. Studies have proven that men prefer women with longer legs.

The Right Walk

How a woman walks can also be considered either attractive or unattractive. A swinging gait that swings the hips back and forth is considered the sexiest type of walk. Some women have this walk naturally, while other women may only have this walk down when they wear heels.

Being Comfortable with Sexuality

Women who are comfortable with their sexuality are usually more attractive than women who are more prudish in their interactions. This does not mean that you have to be sexually charged in your interactions with men to be attractive. Instead, this more refers to being comfortable enough with your sexuality not to hide it, and to be comfortable talking about and alluding to sex.

Emotional Responsibility

Women who take responsibility for their own emotions, as well as their reactions to those emotions, are much more attractive than women who do not take responsibility for their emotions. Emotional responsibility is important to men because they want to know that you can take care of yourself and your own needs, even if they want to be a part of your life and help you meet those needs.


Far too many women are indecisive. If you find yourself constantly telling dates "I don't know" or "I don't care" when asked where you want to go to eat or what movie you want to see, you are not going to be attractive to men. You will need to be decisive and willing and able to make decisions, both large and small if you want to be attractive to men.


While a woman doesn't necessarily have to be a brain to land a man, she should be somewhat intelligent to be attractive. Men are typically much more interested in a woman that they can have intense and interesting conversations with. The more intriguing and intellectually intense the conversation, the more attracted the man will be to the woman.

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Feeling Attractive

Although you may recognize some of these traits of attractiveness in yourself, you may not feel attractive. If you have had a lot of failed relationships or the dating scene has not been kind, it is easy to begin to believe that you are not attractive at all. This can decrease your attractiveness, as men say that they find confidence and self-esteem to be big factors in determining attractiveness.

Before you can attract the partner of your dreams, you have to be able to know what you are looking for as well. A relationship therapist can help you with this. When you want to know what traits are the most attractive to you and others, and you want to align yourself with those attractive traits, a licensed therapist can help you approach readiness for the dating world.

Studies have shown that women who feel that they are attractive are more likely to be attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, how attractive you directly influence what you find attractive yourself. You are more likely to find a partner that has the same attraction level as you do. If you aren't sure what that is, or if you don't know what you are looking for in a partner, a therapist can help you find answers within yourself.

If you are interested in relationship counseling to prepare you for your next relationship, ReGain can help. ReGain is a convenient online counseling platform that allows you to connect with licensed therapists that specialize in relationships and dating. Contact them today for more information or to get started.

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