What Makes A Woman Attractive? Traits That Can Attract The Partner of Your Dreams

Updated April 9, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Women can often become confused as to what people find attractive. While attractiveness is largely a matter of preference and perception, it is common for certain traits to come up repeatedly when surveying people about what they find attractive in a woman. While some of these common traits of attractiveness in women are physical, some have to do with attitude and how they carry themselves or behave in certain situations.

Getty / Maskot
Many people find confident women to be highly attractive

Elements of attraction

Most people think of physical attraction when they think about what makes a woman attractive. But there are other elements to the attraction, as well. Often looks alone are not enough to capture a person’s attention and keep it. Here are the three elements of attraction of which most may not be aware.

Physical attraction

Physical attraction has a different level of importance for everyone. Of course, there should be some physical attraction for successful interaction and the beginnings of a relationship. But the amount of physical attraction you require may also be based on the type of relationship you’re seeking. Experts say that short-term casual relationships rely much more on physical attraction than long-term serious relationships.

Psychological attraction

One of the biggest reasons for dating is to create connections. That spark of chemistry that we have with someone is a psychological attraction. The psychological attraction has more to do with personality and style than physical appearance. To determine psychological attraction, you will have to have some meaningful conversations to get to know one another. You may not be able to determine if you are psychologically attracted to someone without some deeper interaction.

Behavioral attraction

Furthermore, what women find attractive is often related to a potential partner’s behavior. Behavioral attraction lies somewhere between physical attraction and psychological attraction.  Behavioral attraction refers to how someone behaves, which can have a lot to do with one's self-confidence, overall attitude, or outlook on life. Behavioral attraction is what people refer to when they say that confidence can be a sexy trait. It pertains to the way we act when we have someone we like. How someone behaves can be as much as a turn-on for a potential mate as physical appearance. 

Traits that make a woman attractive

There are many different personality traits that people might find attractive in a woman. Of course, every individual is different and has different preferences and means of attraction. But for the most part, these traits of attraction for women will give you a good idea of what people are looking for in and what traits they find most attractive.


A more mature appearance

A study performed in 2015 found that men become more attracted to women who have a more mature look as they age. As people age, their hormones change, and their secondary sex characteristics become less prominent. Because reproduction becomes less evolutionarily important with age, these secondary sex characteristics convey a younger appearance to be less desirable. Therefore as men age, they tend to prefer more mature-looking women -- or attractive older women, to be specific.

A sense of humor

Most will agree that a woman must have a good sense of humor to be attractive. According to the University of Kansas, humor and intelligence are intrinsically linked. Therefore, we tend to seek out funny and witty people as potential mates. In addition, they write that the ability to laugh with your partner is very attractive as it shows that your relationship will be fun and exciting. 

A head tilt

Yes, how you tilt your head can make you more or less attractive to other people. A study found that men are more attracted to women than tilt their heads at a particular angle. In the study, men were more frequently attracted to women who were tilting their heads at a slightly downward angle, making them appear more feminine. This study emphasizes the significance of body language and physical characteristics when it comes to attraction, even though it does not necessarily take into account the many other factors that can influence attraction to intelligence between two people.

A sense of adventure

Studies show that attractiveness is often associated with being adventurous, among other traits. This can show that people may often be attracted to adventurous women willing to take some minor risks. A woman willing to try new things and take some reasonable risks can seem more adventurous and exciting and therefore appear attractive to those who seek out this trait in their partners.

A kind, friendly demeanor

Attractive girls tend to be kind and friendly. According to the same study mentioned above, personality traits such as kindness and friendliness are also often associated with physical attractiveness. This study also mentions that these "personality traits" clusters may represent a "halo effect." The halo effect is a hypothesis that states that often, the presence of pleasant personality traits will make someone appear more attractive. Therefore, it is clear that those who seek to date friendly, trustworthy, and kind women will see these women as more physically attractive.

Tattoos and piercings

Some people do not when women modify their bodies, but a survey of 1000 individuals found that most would find a tattoo or piercing attractive. Sixty-nine percent of the men surveyed said they would find a tattoo attractive, while 55 percent said a piercing is attractive. According to the survey, men surveyed said that tattoos on the shoulder or upper back were the most attractive, while a belly button piercing was the most attractive body piercing.

An attractive gait

How a woman walks can also be considered attractive and confident. A gait that appears confident and strong will often appear attractive, as many people are inherently more attracted to confident people. While developing confidence can be difficult, starting by "faking it till you make it" through a powerful walk can help you develop that personal power and pride.

Comfort in expressing oneself

If you are someone who struggles with self-confidence, it certainly doesn't make you inherently unattractive. However, being comfortable expressing your needs and wants in a relationship will show your partners that you are an attractive woman for being you, whether mundane or more imaginative.

Emotional responsibility

Women who take responsibility for their own emotions and their reactions to those emotions show an emotional maturity that is often very attractive. Emotional responsibility and maturity are important traits in any relationship. It shows that you are willing to do the work to have difficult discussions, make compromises, and take the time to explain your emotions and understand your partner's. 


Often, it is very attractive to know that your date is confident with themselves and their choices. While it is okay to be unsure in the grand scheme of things, you can instantly create a spark on a date by taking some decisions into your own hands. Many may find it very attractive and exciting to see their date speak their mind and tell them what they want instead of relinquishing all of the decision to other people.


People are typically much more interested in a woman with whom they can have intense and interesting conversations. The more intriguing and intellectually intense the conversation, the more attracted a person may be to the woman.

Getty/Luis Alvarez
Many people find confident women to be highly attractive

Feeling attractive

Just as mentioned before, confidence can be a huge key to feeling and being attractive. Of course, confidence in yourself doesn't always come naturally and can be difficult to achieve when many people say what is and what isn't attractive. However, feeling attractive is attractive in and of itself. Not only can it attract others by showing them you are interested and an exciting potential partner, but it also shows you that you deserve happy and healthy relationships. You may have heard the term "high value woman," which describes someone who understands her worth. This is why feeling attractive is one of the most important parts of dating.

How attractive you feel can directly influence what you find attractive yourself. You are more likely to find a partner that has the same attraction level as you do. If you aren't sure what that is or don't know what you are looking for in a partner, a therapist can help you find answers within yourself.

In addition, it's important to know what you want out of a relationship. Before you can attract the partner of your dreams, you may want to examine what kinds of traits are attractive to you and what kinds of relationships make you feel the happiest. A relationship therapist can help you with this. When you want to know what traits are the most attractive to you and others and align yourself with those attractive traits, a licensed therapist can help you approach the dating world's readiness.

Online therapy platforms like Regain are excellent options for exploring your relationship preferences and resolving troubling concerns. You can meet with your therapist from any location with a secure internet connection, and you can even text them directly, if the moment warrants such. Using online therapy also enables you to schedule sessions at times that are convenient for your schedule. 

Online therapy has helped countless people overcome issues standing as obstacles to a productive dating life. In one six-week-long randomized controlled trial involving 60 participants living with anxiety or depression, results showed that online therapy was an effective treatment for improving symptoms of those mental health conditions, both of which can interfere with forming deep relationships with others. Many online therapists will utilize a treatment approach called internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy – or CBT – which focuses on reframing negative self-thoughts into more empowering versions. A separate study has demonstrated how online CBT can effectively reduce symptoms of common psychiatric diseases, some of which may include low self-esteem, high reactivity, or extreme nervousness.


Regardless of how you feel about your own attractiveness or shortcomings, know that you are worthy of forming healthy, substantial connections with other people. There are people out there in the world who will love you for your looks, achievements, and behavioral quirks. If you are interested in relationship counseling to prepare you for your next relationship, Regain can help. Regain is a convenient online counseling platform that allows you to connect with licensed therapists specializing in relationships and dating. Contact them today for more information or to get started.

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