What Do Girls Find Attractive? 7 Ways To Get Her To Notice You

By: Lydian Shipp

Updated June 09, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

For a lot of men, it's mystifying to figure out the answer to the question of "what do girls find attractive." It's usually easier for men to determine what makes a woman attractive than to understand the reverse of what makes a man attractive to women. But, even still, many guys recognize that to win an attractive woman, they must first determine what would attract her.

So, what do girls find attractive? Different women have different preferences, but there are many elements that most women would agree are attractive to a man. These are the seven most common qualities that are attractive to women.

1) Sense Of Humor

This quality probably isn't a surprise, but some men might be surprised to know that having a good sense of humor and making a woman laugh is one of the most important aspects of attraction for many women. Studies have shown that humor is a crucial step in the attraction process and makes a woman fall in love with a man. Women view a man who makes them laugh as more intelligent, better able to provide, and more physically attractive. Also, women may perceive their potential partner's ability (or inability) to make them laugh to indicate how happy the relationship will be in the long term.

Source: pixabay.com

What defines a good sense of humor can vary somewhat from woman to woman. Still, many women would agree that intelligent humor that speaks on many levels is especially attractive.

2) Style And Personal Care

A man's style and degree of personal care is a huge part of what makes a guy attractive to a woman. Some women may prefer an artsy style more than a sporty style, but the important thing is that the man has a style more than which style he chooses to wear. Women find it attractive when a man takes some time to make themselves look nice. Be careful, though! Too much style can be a turn-off. If a man looks like he spends more time getting ready in the morning than a woman does, it's a red flag for some girls.

Regular bathing, hair trims, and trimmed nails (among other things) are necessary. In terms of what makes a man attractive, women appreciate a man who takes care of himself. And, a well-kept physical appearance is, of course, vital to being physically attractive to women. Part of a well-kept physical appearance is exercise. It has been proven that women prefer men who appear to be physically strong; this is an evolutionary response that developed from the woman's need for a strong, capable man who could hunt for and protect the family.

3) Listening Skills

If you're a good listener, a woman will be more likely to fall in love. The way to a woman's heart is through her mind, so listening well and truly caring about what she says is a sure way to get her to notice you. But, one of the important things about having good listening skills isn't just being quiet and letting the woman talk; asking questions and showing active interest is essential!

Good listeners ask questions, provide verbal or physical encouragement to the speaker to continue speaking, contribute thoughts (if desired), and give eye contact. Caring about the conversation and remembering details later on is an indicator of a good listener. Listening is an active process from beginning to end. When a woman determines her level of attraction to date, this is by far one of the biggest factors in what makes a guy attractive to her. If the woman feels like the man was listening and that he was honestly interested in her, she'll be more likely to feel attracted to him than if he hadn't shown good listening skills.

4) Kindness

Source: dod.defense.gov

This is a complicated one. What is "kindness"? Well, kindness encompasses a variety of actions, behaviors, and traits. Still, there are a few things that women are usually looking for in a man that are indicators of the level of kindness that the man has. Women watch carefully how a man treats other people around him and how he talks about the people he loves or is close to. For example, a woman will regard how a man talks about his family (specifically his mother) as highly important. Plus, she'll watch how the man treats waiters, attendants, or other surrounding people. Does he stand up on the bus to let a pregnant woman or older man sit down? Is he friendly to the wait staff at a restaurant? These are some specific examples of kindness that a woman looks for when she's on a date.

5) Passion And Initiative

Women like a man who has interests, people, and projects he's passionate about. And, when he's taken the initiative to pursue those passions, that increases his attractiveness dramatically. A simple example of this happens when a man is passionate about a woman and wants to win her affections. He must communicate his interest in a woman by taking the initiative to ask her out on a date and commit to getting to know her. Traditionally, a man's initiative is one of the first things a woman is watching for.

If a man has a passion for his profession or a serious hobby, such as playing a musical instrument or studying a particular ethnic group, a woman will notice this, and her interest will be piqued. This passion and initiative to pursue a passion is a major part of what makes a man attractive. Having and sharing personal interests and paying attention to the woman's interests is a huge step toward wooing a girl.

6) Confidence

This is a big one. Don't interpret this word the wrong way, though; confidence and cockiness are two very different things, and one is a huge turn-on and the other a huge turn-off. Women adore a man who is confident and self-assured yet humble and grateful for the people around him. But a man who is cocky and shows no appreciation for the people or circumstances that helped him along the way to where he is now will not attract the attention of very many women.

Confidence is such a major part of what makes a guy attractive because it shows that the man is fully capable of handling difficult situations with grace and Also. He's strong, and he's done things in his life that required resilience. Confidence shows a woman that a man is comfortable in his skin and able to take care of his needs, and that thus, he'll be able to also pay attention to her needs and the needs of their (possible) future children.

7) Making A Living

Women find it attractive when a man has a decent job that pays well and provides some degree of security. The job doesn't have to be fancy or high paying, but it has to be something where the man can earn a living and support himself (and a family) well enough. An unemployed man doesn't attract as many women, even if he has the above characteristics.

Source: imef.marines.mil

Also, if a man has found a job that he's passionate about or something that he enjoys, this can add to his attractiveness. Even if the job that he has isn't glamourous, if he finds enjoyment in the job or being around the people he works with, this signifies his ability to adapt to circumstances and enjoy the small things in life. Having a job or a way to make a living is also a sign that he can commit and stay with something over the long term, which is a good sign for women looking for a long-term relationship.


After figuring out the easy part of what makes a woman attractive to men, the difficult part of making a man attractive to women comes. Thankfully, although it seems complex (and let's be honest, sometimes female attraction is), some things will almost immediately boost a man's attractiveness. The qualities and characteristics listed above are the most important for getting a woman to notice a man and find him attractive. Just because a man has all these qualities and characteristics doesn't mean he'll always get the girl, but they'll certainly raise his chances of attracting a high-quality female.

Therapy and counseling can be helpful for people who are struggling to find the perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with. Talking to someone experienced in dealing with this situation can help put you at ease and give you tools and advice for managing singledom and growing yourself. Consider trying therapy today to make yourself a better person and start down the path toward true love.


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