I Have A Boring Husband! What Can I Do To Make Things Interesting Again?

By ReGain Editorial Team|Updated April 22, 2022

If you and your husband have been married for a few years, it’s natural for the spark to fade a little bit. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other anymore; rather, it’s just easy for your romance and attraction to get buried under the pressures of everyday life.

But if you feel like you and your husband aren’t having fun together anymore, you might be wondering how you can rediscover the joy and excitement in your relationship again. In this article, we’ll examine a few factors that may be affecting your relationship and how you can support your husband while reigniting the spark in your marriage.

Is He Depressed?

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If you feel like your husband isn’t as much fun as he used to be, it’s important to remember that it might not be personal. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s lost interest in you or your marriage and it might not be as simple as “he’s become boring.” When people are struggling with depression, one common symptom is losing interest in the things you used to enjoy. So, if you notice a change in your husband’s behaviour, interests, and enthusiasm, the best thing to do is talk to him about it!

No one likes to feel they’re being depressing or bringing everyone down, so many people who have depression feel the need to battle their symptoms in silence. Talking to your husband and showing him you care is a great way to let him know that it’s safe to open up to you. By contrast, telling him he’s become boring lately will have the opposite effect!

Has He Been Working Too Much?

Sometimes a change in a person’s mood or energy can be attributed to mental health causes like depression. But sometimes depression isn’t the answer and the change is simply a result of difficulties in a person’s professional life. For example, if your husband has been working long hours lately or he feels stressed, overwhelmed, or unappreciated at work, it makes sense that he doesn’t feel fun or energetic by the time he gets home.

If you feel like your husband’s job is weighing him down or having a negative impact on your marriage, it’s a good idea to talk things through together. In some cases, this might mean that he should consider switching careers. Alternatively, the solution might be as simple as a vacation. The answer to this problem will vary according to each couple and each individual, so that’s why it’s important for you to talk about your feelings.

Go Out On Dates

Whether your husband is depressed, overworked, or otherwise, going on dates is an awesome way to reconnect and engage with each other! When you’re in the dating, unmarried phase of your relationship, it often feels easier to keep the spark alive by actively making time for each other or planning romantic dates. But after you’ve been married for a few years, that spark can get buried under the pressure of careers, household chores, and kids if you have them.

So, no matter where you are in your relationship, take time for each other by dating again! Make an active effort to be romantic with each other. Make each other feel special like you used to! Whether your marriage is struggling or not, this is an awesome way to reconnect and renew your passion for each other.

Start Showing More Affection

If you haven’t been giving each other much affection lately, then that should change. It makes you feel good to get affection from your spouse, and your husband might be missing your touch. Even little things such as a kiss in the morning can brighten someone’s day. If you have fallen into the habit of just not bothering with these little signs of affection, then try to snap out of it. If your husband is feeling sad, stressed, or overworked, a little bit of affectionate could make him feel better in every aspect of his life!

Take Up A Hobby Together

Finding a hobby you can both enjoy is an awesome way to connect! Opposites often attract, so you and your husband may have different hobbies and interests. As a result, you may end up pursuing your hobbies separately when you could be having fun together!

This can be especially fun if you both have hectic work schedules that frequently keep you apart. So, dig deep and look for something you can enjoy together! If you met in college when you bonded over your love for a certain rock band, you could reignite that interest together. Or you could go to a taster session for something new, whether it’s painting, tennis, or an afternoon at a history museum.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what the activity is. What matters is that you’re spending time together!

Work On Your Sexual Connection

Are you living in a sexless marriage? If so, then you probably want to change that as fast as possible. Sex is important in a relationship, and you want to have a fulfilling sex life. Your husband might not be as interested in sex as he once was due to complacency and low energy. But it’s possible to reignite his sex drive by taking certain steps.

For example, you could spice things up in the bedroom by changing how and when you have sex. Have you been doing it in just one position for many years? This can get a bit monotonous for both partners, so even simple changes can add a renewed sense of passion and excitement in the bedroom. Simply suggesting some new positions can change the dynamic. You can also take this further by exploring some new fantasies and other sexual desires as well.

Both you and your husband likely cherish sexual desires that you’ve never confessed to each other. Many people have a favorite type of porn or a favorite fantasy that they’ve never discussed with their partner. So, if you feel like your sex life is stagnating, try initiating this conversation with your husband. Chances are, it will make you both feel free and excited as you explore uncharted regions of your sexuality together!

As long as you and your husband are comfortable with where these desires take you, it’s going to be fun to have a more engaging sex life.

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Online Couples Counseling Might Be Able To Help Too

Online couples counseling can also be a helpful tool for improving your marriage’s dynamic. If you feel like your marriage just isn’t running on all cylinders, you might have some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Professional couples’ counselors know how to work with couples to get these problems out in the open. Once the issues are understood, you can work to overcome them together. So, if you haven’t had a lot of luck with renewing the spark in your relationship, then online couples counseling can be a very effective tool.

Online therapy is uniquely helpful because it serves as an accessible and convenient alternative to traditional in-person therapy sessions. Many people feel nervous about being seen going into a therapist’s office, especially if they live in a small town or live near their families. Therapy— and marriage counseling in particular— often receives a lot of unnecessary and unfounded stigma, so many couples are uncomfortable with pursuing traditional therapy.

And that’s where the benefits of online therapy come in. Thanks to the convenience and accessibility of therapy with ReGain, you can connect with your therapist from the privacy of your phone. You can attend text therapy sessions by yourself or with your husband at work or at a coffee shop without anyone having a clue! So, if you feel concerned about the stigma of counseling, don’t let that stop you from seeking help. Therapy isn’t a last resort and it isn’t just for people in crisis. The truth is that all people— and all marriages— can benefit from counseling, no matter what they’re experiencing.

Check out these reviews for our counsellors below!

“Cris Roman saved my marriage. His approach to therapy taught my husband and I the skills we needed to change the way we communicated and the way we understood each other. He is very non-judgemental and helps each person make sense of the others' feelings and actions without taking sides or placing blame. His ability to make you feel heard while helping you to see and understand why your significant other is acting a certain way is phenomenal.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

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