I Have A Boring Husband! What Can I Do To Make Things Interesting Again?
Updated March 16, 2020
Getting bored in a marriage is something that can feel quite frustrating. If your partner just isn't the same person that they used to be, then you might be wondering what happened. There must be a reason why you're saying, "I have a boring husband!" Was he always this way, or did he simply become complacent and boring after many years of being married to you? Sometimes relationships get stuck in a rut, and it's up to you to figure out how to get out of it. Thankfully, you don't have to go through this alone.
Take a look at some of the following ways that you can make your marriage fun again. Learning to reconnect with your husband and trying to shake up the status quo won't be easy at first. It might take a bit of prodding to get him out of the same dull routine that he has been stuck in. If he truly loves you, then he is going to be willing to try for you. Give this advice a shot and see if it can reignite the passion in your marriage.
Is He Depressed?
The first thing that you should consider is whether your husband is depressed or not. You might be worried about him being a boring husband when he is struggling with depression. Some people who go through bouts of depression experience a loss of interest in activities that they used to love. This can also lead to a diminished sex drive and a lack of energy. It might be worth considering taking your husband to the doctor to see if he has a depression issue of some kind.
If depression is the problem, then seeking treatment might solve your marriage issues. Depression can be either mild or severe. Mild depression is something that people can overcome with treatment methods, and it might even go away completely depending on the type of depression that is being dealt with. More severe cases can be very trying, but you can be there for your husband, and he can make progress. Someone appearing to be boring doesn't necessarily indicate that they are depressed, but it's something to mull over.
Has He Been Working Too Much?
The lack of energy and enthusiasm that your husband displays could also be attributed to him working too much. What type of job does your husband work? If he works a physical job that sees him working more than forty hours per week, then he might be very out of it by the time he gets home. This is unfortunate, but it can negatively impact your marriage. It might be good to consider whether he can cut down on work somehow or take a vacation.
Not everyone gets paid time off, and some people have to work as much as possible just to make ends meet. Whether time off or a decreased workload is possible depends on your situation. Just remember that his health, well-being, and happiness are important. Making money is crucial, and you need to be able to pay the bills. It might not be worth it if he is sacrificing himself to do it, though. Some couples can share the workload so that both of them can work reasonable hours. If you can work something out, then it might be better for him.
Go Out On Dates
Assuming that none of the above problems are the cause of your husband's boring nature, you're probably going to want to work on getting him to be engaged in the marriage again. The best way to do this is to start going on dates once more. Many married couples are guilty of growing complacent after they have been married for several years. He may have taken you out on dates several times per month in the past, but it might have been years since you have gone on one now.
Changing this pattern of not getting out is important. It isn't good to stay in all the time, and you need to be able to have some fun. Going out on a real date together can help to remind him of why you got married in the first place. Go to a restaurant that you both enjoy or go out to see a concert that you'll have fun at. Make some new memories that you will cherish forever. Your husband will come out of his shell a bit over time, and you'll see glimpses of that fun man that you love.
If you're having trouble making time for dating, then try to do what you can. Those who have children will sometimes have difficulties getting a babysitter. If you can get the grandparents to help out one weekend, then that would be great for your marriage. You need to be able to have time together. As important as your kids are, it's also crucial to cultivate a happy and healthy marriage. Do your best to make the time.
Start Showing More Affection
If you haven't been giving each other much affection lately, then that should change. It makes you feel good to get affection from your spouse, and your husband might be missing your touch. Even little things such as a kiss in the morning can brighten someone's day. If you have fallen into the habit of just not bothering with these little signs of affection, then try to snap out of it. Being more affectionate toward him could stir something within him.
This is also something that you can take further than this. Affection can mean more than just giving your husband hugs and kisses during appropriate moments. You could also make time for each other in the evenings. You both might be working during the day, but if you're both at home during the evening, then you could plan out a block of time where you will be together in bed or on the couch. A bit of cuddling and talking about the day can feel very cathartic.
You might not consider this to be an exciting activity, but it is healthy for your marriage. It's a chance for you to bond as a couple and you should try to make time for this type of stuff as often as you can. There might be some nights where you will be too tired, but if you can spend multiple nights per week just unwinding together in this fashion, it's going to keep you both engaged in the marriage. Show your love for your husband, and he will reciprocate.
Take Up A Hobby Together
Perhaps you need to find something interesting to do. Some couples have been able to take up a hobby together. This could be hiking, or it could be something like playing tennis. It doesn't matter what the hobby is, to be honest. What matters about this suggestion is that you're doing something fun together. You could include other friends as well if you would like to, but it's going to be good to have a reason to spend more time doing something entertaining.
Try to determine what your mutual interests are. You might both be avid music fans, and maybe you'd like to do something related to that. As long as the potential hobby is something that you're both going to be into, it's a good idea. If you don't have a lot of time, this might be tough to pull off. Even so, it's important to use your free time wisely so that you can have a fulfilling life.
Go Out With Other Couples
Going out with other couples is a good way to spice things up, too. If you have other married couples that you're friends with, then planning a double date could be exciting. You can have fun interacting with other people that you like, and it might bring your husband's energy level up. Sometimes having more people around is good because it creates a fun atmosphere. This can cause your husband to respond to the energy in the room, and it could bring him out of his boring slump.
Whether you're going out to a restaurant with a couple that you're friends with or if you're inviting couples over for a barbecue, it's going to help out. If you have friends like this, then it's something you should take advantage of. Friends can help you to get your husband back to his old self, too. Just try not to embarrass your husband by bringing up that you think he is boring. Just focus on having fun, and he will likely enjoy himself as well.
Work On Your Sexual Connection
Are you living in a sexless marriage? If so, then you probably want to change that as fast as possible. Sex is important in a relationship, and you want to be able to have a fulfilling sex life. Your husband might not be as interested in sex as he once was due to complacency and low energy. It's possible to stir his libido by taking certain steps, though.
Try to make things more interesting in the bedroom by changing things up. Perhaps you haven't been dressing in sexy clothes very often as of late. Wearing some lingerie to bed could be just the thing to get him interested again. If you have some sexy clothes that give you confidence, then you could always try those, too. Some men like seeing women in high heels and others might find a sleek little dress to be very appealing. Just cater to your husband's taste and see if he responds.
It might be a good idea to spice things up in the bedroom by changing how you have sex, too. Have you been doing it in just one position for many years? This can get a bit monotonous, and even you are probably bored with this. Simply suggesting, some new positions can change the dynamic. You can go further with this by exploring fantasies and other sexual desires as well. As long as you and your husband are comfortable with where these desires take you, it's going to be fun to have a more engaging sex life.
Online Couples Counseling Might Be Able To Help Too
Online couples counseling might be a good idea that you should consider as well. If you feel like your marriage just isn't running on all cylinders, then you might have issues that need to be addressed. Professional couples' counselors know how to work with couples to get these problems out in the open. Once the issues are understood, it's going to be possible to overcome them together. If you haven't had a lot of luck getting that relationship to spark back, then online couples counseling is going to be a very effective tool.
This is a convenient process that is going to help you to move forward together. You love your husband, and you want to feel like your relationship is exciting again. Your husband can work on what might be holding him back, and you can figure out how to help as well. These dedicated counselors will always be there for you, and the process is always as convenient as can be. You'll be able to reach out at any time, and your marriage can get back on track.