How To Deal With A Lazy Wife – 8 Tips To Get Her To Be More Active
Updated March 16, 2020
Reviewer Lisa Childers, LCSW
It can be worrisome when you have a lazy wife who doesn't seem to have any motivation. Learning how to deal with a lazy wife partially depends on the situation. There is a chance that your wife could be going through some personal problems that you will need to help her with. For instance, she might be depressed, and this is causing her to withdraw from the world. If you don't think that anything is wrong with her, then it might be that she truly is in a slump and is being rather lazy.
Take a look at the following eight tips that can help you to get your lazy wife to be more active. These are practical suggestions that should help to motivate her. Some of them might work for your situation while others won't be as good for you personally. Read through them all and decide which ones will help you to get her off of the couch and to feel better about herself.
- Talk To Her
The first step to figuring things out is going to be to talk to her about what is going on. There might be a reason that she has been acting so lazy as of late. Was your wife always this way in the past? If not, then what changed to make her feel more lethargic than usual? Try to ask her what is wrong without accusing her of being lazy. You could say you notice that she hasn't had a lot of energy lately and that you want to help.
You might determine that she has a medical problem. Some people do have issues with chronic fatigue for medical reasons. If the issues are purely motivational, then you can try to help her get out of this rut over time. Acknowledging that something is wrong is fine, but you do want to navigate the topic carefully. You don't want to make your wife feel bad or treat her like she is a lesser person due to her current lack of motivation. If you want her to snap back to normal, then you need to be there for her.
- Lead By Example
How can you expect your wife to get up and take care of things if you aren't doing so yourself? Remember that it isn't a woman's responsibility to take care of all of the household chores. Ideally, these are things that should be divided up by the two of you. Even if she doesn't work, it can still be useful for you to do your fair share at home. Leading by example is going to show her what she should be doing.
Try to be mindful of taking care of chores. You could even institute some system that everyone in the house can get used to. Some people immediately take care of rinsing dishes after they have had a meal, for instance. After this, they can easily be placed in the dishwasher. Figuring out what works for you and hopefully, your wife will be motivated to start helping out a bit more.
- Start Exercising Together
Exercising together is something that can help your wife to get back into the groove. She might not know where to begin with a new exercise routine, but it's something that you can figure out together. Many types of exercises will work well for someone who isn't in great shape. You could walk around the neighborhood for thirty minutes per day - some couples like getting into exercises such as yoga or kickboxing classes.
There are things that you could do together at home that will provide lots of exercise for your wife. Completing some squats, sit-ups, and calisthenic exercises each day will be helpful. Find a routine that works for you and try to commit to exercising at least three times per week. Exercising more often is better, but anything is good to start with. Your wife will both mentally and physically benefit from exercising more often.
- Ask For Help Around The House
Don't hesitate to ask for help around the house if you need it. You could let her know that you don't have time to do the laundry due to having to go to work. If she could do that for you, then you'd appreciate it. Hearing something like this is going to make her more likely to get up to do it. She has the motivation to do this task. You're counting on her, and you appreciate the time that she is taking to do it.
Approaching chores like this can be a good motivational tactic. Eventually, your wife might start helping around the house more because it feels natural. Try to distribute the chores evenly so that it doesn't begin to feel like her burden to bear all by herself.
- Be Supportive
When people are struggling with motivational issues, it can be tough for them to get out of that slump. You might want her to get better and start acting like her old self again. It's normal to want this, but it isn't realistic to think that she will be incredibly active as soon as you make one change. It is likely going to take time for her to build up her physical fitness and her motivation levels. Your support during this time will mean the world, so try to be there for her.
If you notice that she is making progress, then you should praise her. Tell her when you see her working hard and appreciate the dedication that she is showing. This will motivate her to continue on this journey, and you can be happy that she is starting to move away from the lazy wife persona that she had fallen into.
- Make Her Feel Beautiful
How often do you compliment your wife? Do you go to great lengths to make sure that she feels loved and appreciated? You might want to try to make her feel beautiful so that she will feel better about herself and the situation. Some women get a bit complacent after having kids or gaining weight due to age. This can make a woman feel less sexy than she used to be, and she might even think that you don't desire her any longer.
This likely isn't true, and you should show your wife just how much you care. Compliment her and give her lots of affection. Be sincere with your feelings while still being mindful of the fact that she needs a confidence boost. Your attitude and complacency could be part of why she has felt so lazy and low-energy as of late. Making some changes to how you are interacting could help to motivate her to be more active and start engaging with you again.
- Work On Your Sex Life
It's no secret that having a healthy sex life can lead to a happier marriage. How is this related to getting her to be more active, though? Well, it ties into the tip above somewhat. You know that increasing her self-esteem can help her to become more motivated in life. Sex can be a big confidence booster as well, and it can even give you both a bit of exercise.
Try to carve out some time to be intimate together multiple times per week. If you want to make sex more rigorous so that you can burn some calories, then you can try to engage your core and make use of more complex sexual positions. This might seem tough at first, but as you practice, you're going to get better and better. Sex is one of the best things in life, and it can help you to motivate your wife to be more active as well. Even if this isn't the silver bullet solution to the problem at hand, it can be helpful.
- Consider Taking Up A Physical Hobby Together
A final tip that is going to be very good for many couples is to consider taking up a physical hobby together. You know that your wife needs some exercise, and she needs the motivation to get out of the slump that she has been in. You can find a way to get some exercise together that is also going to be a fun hobby. For some couples, a hobby such as hiking is going to be a perfect way to reconnect.
Even if hiking isn't your cup of tea, there are many other good physical hobbies to consider. You could play tennis together or learn a martial art. Just try to discuss the possibilities and find something that would be enjoyable for you as a couple. If you put some effort into your search, then you're bound to find a good fit. This could lead to better physical fitness for you both, and it will also help you to strengthen your marital bond.
You Might Need Online Couples Counseling
If nothing else seems to be working, then you might be worried that nothing will ever change. At this point, it's going to be worthwhile to enlist the help of online couples' counselors. They can work with you to determine what is wrong. Your wife might have some personal issues to work through, and there may also be problems with your relationship that need to be addressed. Taking the time to work on things with dedicated counselors can help you to get your marriage back where it needs to be.
Issues like this can be mentally taxing on both of you, but you can get to a better place. Having counselors that talk to makes a difference, and you can reach out at any time. If you need a convenient way to get couples therapy, then online counseling is the best fit for you. It's very discreet, and it's also quite affordable. Make contact today if you would like to start working on solving your marriage problems.