How To Find Love Again After Heartbreak

Updated August 23, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

Experiencing heartbreak can be devastating, and love may seem impossible or out of reach after a breakup. The most challenging part of a breakup for many people is accepting that they must move on and accept a future without their former partner. If they consider dating, embracing an unknown future with someone else can be even more distressing. It takes bravery to give your heart to someone, even more so after a heartbreak. But with the right perspective and support, it is possible to love again. 

It Is Possible To Love Again After Heartbreak

Recovering From Heartbreak To Love Again

Getting over a heartbreaking relationship and loving again will probably not happen overnight, but with some time, it is possible. While each person recovers at their own pace, there are some ways to speed up the process and ease your transition from heartbreak to loving again.

Look To Your Support System

It is an important life skill to be self-reliant and feel comfortable alone. But, in times of difficulty, it’s often best to lean on your support system or build one up if you lack a robust support system. Everyone has different people with whom they feel most comfortable. Your support system may be entirely comprised of friends, or you may prefer to turn to family or a mixture of the two. 

Whenever you feel tempted to reach out to your ex, call or text a friend instead. Regardless of who your go-to supporters are, it’s helpful to have two or three people whom you can text or call when your feelings become overwhelming. Along with emotional support, these people can help you stay strong in the face of temptation to get back together with your ex. 

Even if you have a support system of friends and family, reaching out to a mental health professional could be very helpful in developing healthy coping strategies. A therapist can provide an unbiased view of your situation and identify ways to process your pain. 

Journal For Release

Expressive writing, or writing about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, is proven to help people cope and move on from heartbreak. Writing is a great way to process and release emotional difficulties. Reading your thoughts and feelings on paper can also help you see things from a different perspective and can be a valuable tool in helping you to learn to love again.

Positive Self-Talk

Our self-talk can have a significant impact on our emotions. Positive, compassionate inner dialogue is critical when recovering from a breakup. To ease the healing process so that you can learn to love again, try to identify any hurtful ways you may be speaking to yourself internally. 

For example, blaming yourself for the relationship’s ending or deriding yourself for your perceived faults can go a long way toward inhibiting your ability to recover and move on from your heartbreak. If you have difficulty isolating such internal thoughts or dialogue, journaling is an excellent way to uncover the subconscious ways we are cruel to ourselves and begin cultivating self-love. 

Meditation, Yoga, And Exercise

Meditation, yoga, and exercise can help significantly during the "healing from heartbreak" phase of preparing to love again. Mindfulness meditation and yoga focus on deep breathing techniques, which reduces anxiety and tension. In addition to moving your body, the practices also try to encourage living in the present moment.

This is particularly useful for grounding your thoughts and preventing rumination while recovering from heartbreak when your mind tends to wander into the past. 

Other, more intense forms of exercise, like cardio and weightlifting, are also productive ways to spend your free time, and the endorphins produced by movement will help boost your mood. Exercising and getting stronger is often also a big confidence boost. 

Allow Yourself Time

Some people are eager to fall in love again after a breakup to replace the companionship that they had with their former partner. While loving again after heartbreak can serve to soothe our bruised feelings in the short term, it is best not to rush into it. If you try falling back in love too quickly, it’s likely that some of the past “emotional baggage” could be detrimental to a new relationship. 

One study on love and heartbreak suggests that it takes most people about 11 weeks to see their past relationship in a new light and truly feel ready to move on. Try giving yourself about three months to heal before starting a new connection to provide yourself with the best chance of finding love again with the right person.

How long feelings linger after a heartbreak depends on many factors, like how long the relationship was, how serious the relationship was, or the individual. Some people may have an easier time letting go of a failed relationship than others.

If you are struggling or feel your feelings will never disappear, understand that breakups are often hard to process. Even if the separation isn’t a surprise, it can still be tough to let go of someone you loved. Give yourself the time you need to grieve your loss. It may take weeks, or it may take months. There is no time limit on personal healing. Be kind to yourself and remember those you have in your life to support you.

Takeaway

As difficult as it may be to imagine, a broken heart can heal, but it will take time and often a bit of self-reflection. With the right tools, you can move forward, love yourself, and prepare for the next love to come your way, which will happen when you are truly ready. 

Once you have given yourself adequate time to heal, the next step may be to make yourself available to meet new people. If you’re unsure how to do this, many resources are available for suggestions. You may try a new activity or sport that interests you or even attend speed dating or networking events in your city. Putting yourself in situations where you meet new people can help you get comfortable with dating after heartbreak and ultimately falling in love again.  

Getty/AnnaStills
It Is Possible To Love Again After Heartbreak

If your feelings are overwhelming and your emotional state substantially affects your ability to function in other areas of your life, it may be time to reach out to a counselor. 

Licensed counselors are trained to help people cope with complicated feelings that, when left unaddressed, can lead to more serious mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. In therapy, you’ll discuss your experiences and emotions. A therapist will help you reflect on your past relationship to better understand the situation. They’ll likely ask questions about your life and background that can help uncover the disproportionate thoughts that cause difficulties processing your feelings.

Beyond coping with the heartbreak, working with a licensed counselor can help you find self-confidence and balance when you are ready to start dating again. Additionally, a professional can help you build the necessary skills to make a relationship successful, such as communicating well, expressing yourself, etc.

If meeting a counselor face-to-face seems overwhelming, online counseling is a convenient, affordable option with many benefits that traditional counseling can’t offer. You can talk to a mental health professional from Regain in your home (or wherever you have an internet connection). Additionally, you don't have to worry about finding time for your appointment, commute times, not having an office nearby, or awkward encounters at the office. Online therapy helps many people open up and discuss things they may feel uncomfortable discussing in person. Studies indicate it’s as effective as traditional therapy for treating mental health issues related to traumatic life events like a heartbreaking split from a partner.  

You don’t have to cope with heartbreak alone. Below are some reviews of Regain counselors from people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"He's amazing - he's gotten me through some tough times and reminds me I'm not made of super human strength - that I'm human with normal emotions and it is in fact okay to cry. He has been an amazing support through a horrible breakup."

"Lakesha was absolutely amazing! She helped me find myself and realize my self worth in such a short period! I highly recommend her services she is FRESH and has amazing insight!"

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