If you are currently dealing with heartbreak, there is good news- you can, and will, fall in love again. However, the next time you are in love will probably feel different than it did before you had your heart broken. The experience will change because you have changed.
One way to love again is to shift the way you look at your heartbreak. Rather than thinking of it as something to be feared or avoided, remember that your heartbreak makes you strong and courageous. To feel heartbroken, you must first feel a lot of love. Some people are so closed off that they never feel strongly enough about someone to get heartbroken. Your experience with heartbreak should not turn you into one of those people.
It will take you some time to recover from heartbreak. You will feel sad, angry, or confused. Do not try to ignore those feelings. Rather, be patient with them and give yourself time to process them before letting them go fully. Remember that you can love deeply. Just because it did not work out before does not mean you should be afraid to do it again. It takes bravery to give your heart to someone, even more so after a heartbreak. But you do have the courage to love again.
Unfortunately, there is no way to safeguard yourself from heartbreak. But, every time it happens you grow emotionally stronger. You know you can get through heartbreak and come out of the other side with your ability to love intact. The only thing that can cause you not to love again after heartbreak is you letting your fear stop you from opening up to another person.
Getting over your heartbreak and loving again will not happen overnight, but with some time it is possible. While everyone gets over heartbreak at their own pace, there are some ways to speed up the process and ease your transition from heartbreak to loving again.
It is an important life skill to be self-reliant and to feel comfortable being alone. But, when dealing with heartbreak, there is only so much you can do for yourself. During this time, it is best to lean on your support system or build one up if you lack a strong support system.
Everyone has different people with whom they feel most comfortable. Your support system may be entirely comprised of friends, or you may prefer to turn to family, or maybe a mixture of the two. Regardless of who your go-to supporters are, make sure you have two or three people who you can text or call when getting over your heartbreak becomes too much to handle on your own.
Along with emotional support, these people can prevent you from going back to your ex. Whenever you feel tempted to reach out to your ex, call or text a friend instead. Your support system can help keep you in line so that you do not make any regression in your process of healing from your heartbreak so that you can love again.
It is best to have multiple people you can count on, rather than just one friend, so that you do not have to worry about burdening your friends and family too much. You may even want to tell your close friends and family upfront what you will need from them while you get over your heartbreak. The people in your life with whom you are close will most likely be more than happy to help.
If you feel that it will help you, you can write a letter to your former partner expressing all your feelings about the breakup and your relationship. This can include positive memories as well as any feelings you have about the breakup that you want to get off of your chest. Think of your letter as a way to say goodbye to your ex and get closure. You may decide not even to send the letter, but writing all of your emotions down on paper can be a very useful step towards getting closure on your past relationship so that you can love again.
Choose a mantra that will aid you on your way to feeling ready to fall in love again. It may seem cheesy, but mantras do work. They keep your mind focused on your goal, which in this case is preparing your heart and mind to love again, rather than letting your thoughts spiral into negative territory.
Effective mantras for getting over heartbreak and finding love again include, "I love myself," "no relationship is a waste of time," or "I am strong." You may need to experiment with a few mantras until you find one that resonates with you. You may also find that you want to change your mantra as you move through the process of recovering from your heartbreak and get closer to feeling ready to love again. The exact words you say do not matter; what matters is how they make you feel.
Meditation, yoga, and exercise all can significantly help you during the "healing from heartbreak" phase of getting ready to love again. Meditation and yoga focus on deep breathing techniques, which reduces anxiety and tension. In addition to moving your body, the practices also try to encourage living in the present moment.
This is particularly useful while recovering from heartbreak when your mind tends to wander into the past. Meditation and yoga are an effective way to get your mind off of your breakup without resorting to harmful behaviors, like drinking, to give yourself a distraction.
Other, more intense forms of exercise like cardio and weight-lifting are also great ways to help yourself get over a breakup. It is a productive way to spend your free time. Plus the rush of endorphins brought on by exercise is sure to boost your mood, something anyone going through heartbreak needs. Exercising and getting stronger is also a big confidence boost. If you are hesitant to love again out of fear of getting your heart broken once more, a confidence boost might be what you need to feel ready to put yourself back out there.
In some cases, you may be eager to fall in love again after a breakup to replace the companionship that you felt with your former partner. While loving again after heartbreak is a great feat, it is best not to rush into it. If you try to fall in love again too quickly, you are likely to be still holding on to some emotional baggage from your past relationship that could be detrimental to your attempts to love again.
Even if you think you are ready to fall in love again very soon after enduring heartbreak, it actually may be harder to find someone to date, as many people unconsciously put up some emotional barriers in the wake of heartbreak. Trying to date too soon after a breakup can make you feel even more discouraged about the possibility of finding love again in the future.
Once you have given yourself adequate time to heal, you have to put yourself out there to meet new people. Try picking up a new activity or sport that you have always been interested in, or attending speed dating or networking events in your city. Putting yourself in situations where you meet new people can help you get comfortable with the idea of dating and ultimately to fall in love again.
Heartbreak can make you want to give up on love, but you will love again. Give yourself adequate time to heal and engage in productive behaviors to aid the process of emotionally recovering from your breakup. Most importantly, remember that no matter how unlikely it may seem in the wake of heartbreak, you can love again. If you find yourself heartbroken and feel as though you'll never love again, working with a licensed counselor can help you work through these emotions and can help you prepare your heart for your next love.
A licensed counselor has been trained to help you work through your heartache. They'll ask you questions and listen to your experiences. They will help you reflect and uncover what it is that you miss about your past relationship or partner. Together they will also help you identify the values you hold important. Working with a licensed counselor can help you when you are ready to start your next relationship as you know what you are looking for in a mate. Additionally, a professional can help you build the necessary skills that make a relationship successful, such as the ability to communicate well, to express yourself, etc.
If meeting a counselor face-to-face seems overwhelming to you, you always have the option of online counseling. This is a much more relaxed method of getting help from a licensed professional. You can talk to them in the comfort and privacy of your own home (or wherever you have an internet connection). Additionally, you don't have to worry about finding time for your appointment, commute times, not having an office nearby, or anyone else seeing you go into the office. It is completely private and you can get the help you need comfortably. The online nature also helps you open up and discuss things you may have been too embarrassed to discuss in person. The more comfortable you are with discussing the issues you are facing and your feeling, the more personal growth you will realize by working with a counselor. Below are some reviews of ReGain counselors from people experiencing similar issues.
As difficult as it may be to imagine, a broken heart can heal, but it will take time and often a bit of self-reflection. With the right tools, you can move forward, love yourself, and prepare for the next love to come your way, which will happen when you are truly ready. A professional counselor is here to help you heal your heart after heartbreak.
Love After Heartbreak
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Why is toxic love bad?
Every marriage or relationship is going to have its share of problems, but a toxic relationship is one that needs more repair than your average relationship. Sometimes, there is only one toxic person in the relationship. This person can be abusive, and no matter what you do, the relationship does not get any better. However, there are some times where both parties are toxic for each other. This might not be due to any particular major problem with either of them, but rather it is simply not a good match.
With a toxic relationship, no one’s needs are being met, which is vital in any relationship. A relationship should be about meeting each other's needs and pushing each other up. Signs of disrespect in a relationship is something you should be mindful of, and leaving the relationship should those signs show up is not a bad move.
If you are more often unhappy than you are happy in your relationship, then ask yourself why you are there. A good, healthy couple will make each other better, build each other up. With toxic love, one or both partners make each other worse.
If you feel that your love is not adding to your peace and happiness, then it may be toxic. In a good relationship, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. What does that mean? That together, you are stronger than you are apart. Even in a healthy relationship, you will go through tough times. In fact, it is even necessary to growth. But if things simply are not getting better, and your partner only brings you down, then you may not be well-suited for each other.
What are signs of disrespect in a marriage?
Even in a happy marriage, you and your partner will disagree now and then. That is healthy and normal. In a healthy relationship, there is no lack of respect. When you disagree or butt heads, you speak calmly and work things out. Neither of you resorts to name-calling, making threats, gaslighting, stonewalling, and so on. You might take time to cool off before you talk about what is going on, but ultimately, you work through concerns instead of letting them brew under the surface or letting microaggressions slip out due to unresolved problems. You are willing to hear your spouse's side, and they are willing to listen to yours. There is no hierarchy. You are equal.
Disrespect in marriage, on the other hand, is not normal or healthy. How do you know if your spouse does not respect you? There are some things to look out for.
Signs of disrespect in a marriage include:
- Emotional invalidation
- Stonewalling or using the silent treatment
- Inequality in terms of give-and-take
- Controlling behavior
- Refusal to recognize your point of view
- Trampling your (or each other's) boundaries
- Secret-keeping
- Name-calling
- Picking fights
Some signs of disrespect are subtle, whereas other signs of disrespect are overt.
For example, if your spouse calls you a name that you do not like, and you say to them, "I feel hurt when you call me ___. Can you please stop?" but they laugh it off or continue calling you the name that you aren't comfortable with, they are crossing your boundaries. They might say, "You are overreacting" or "It is just a joke." This is one of the signs of disrespect; your spouse is attempting to make you feel as though you are overly sensitive, and therefore, wrong. This is called gaslighting. When someone does this, they are disrespecting you, and they are not taking your feelings seriously. When someone respects you, they are not going to continue with the name-calling, and that's that.
How do you deal with a disrespectful husband?
First, recognize the signs of disrespect that are present in your relationship. If you have not already, you can have a conversation with your spouse about the specific signs of disrespect you notice in your relationship.
Bring up specific instances and use "I" statements when you have this conversation. For example, "I felt hurt when ___." Again, in a healthy relationship, this information will be received, and your partner will talk through it with you.
That said, if you are reading this, you have likely tried to have that conversation. Things need to change. Love, respect, and communication are vital in relationships.
You are not crazy; the signs of disrespect you notice are real issues that need to be dealt with.
The best thing to do is to seek help from a professional to deal with a disrespectful husband who will not listen or recognize the signs of disrespect that occur on his side of your partnership. A licensed counselor or therapist will serve as an objective third party. They will not be biased toward either one of you, so they will be able to see signs of disrespect for what they are. In therapy, you will learn communication tactics and other skills that can help you have a happy marriage. With that said, couples counseling requires investment from both people. If your husband refuses to go to counseling or work through these issues one-on-one and the disrespect continues, it may be time to leave. It could be the healthiest thing you ever do for yourself.
A relationship has two sides, and you have more control than you realize. This does not mean that you constantly bend to the will of your husband, but rather that you put your foot down when you see signs of disrespect. Now, when we say ‘put your foot down’ that does not mean screaming and shouting and making a scene. When it comes to marriage, consistency is far more effective than force. Mention it every time you see a sign of disrespect, mention how you feel, and also be open to hearing his side. This is far more effective than letting resentment build up until it reaches a boiling point and you have a breakdown over a minor instance. Know your standards, and your boundaries, and defend them with tranquility, confidence, and grace. You have every right to feel comfortable in your relationship.
Another tip is to avoid stooping to his level. We all get mad and frustrated sometimes. These emotions are normal, and you should not feel guilty or wrong for experiencing them. But you can manage how you handle them. You can build healthy habits around your angry emotions, and thusly control them instead of letting them control you. Express your anger but do so respectfully. Lead by example. Show your partner that he has a lot to learn from you. However this will, of course, involve taking a lot of difficult, personal responsibility.
And if nothing works, and your relationship is toxic for both of you, do not feel wrong about leaving. You can survive without this relationship, and it might be the best decision of your life. Sometimes being alone is worth it if it means setting yourself free.
What does respect look like in a marriage?
Respect requires that you understand the autonomy of another person. It is a concept that engages multiple factors to ensure that people in a relationship feel loved, heard, and able to maintain the sense that they are their own person. When it comes to love respect is necessary. Love without respect is a toxic relationship waiting to happen. Respect should always be mutual. It must exist on both sides for relationships to function.
Here are some essential components of respect in a relationship:
- Valuing each other's autonomy and personal space
- Listening to each other's perspectives
- Honoring each other's needs and boundaries
- Treating each other with kindness
- Mutual support
- Communication
- Showing interest in each other's lives
- The absence of controlling behavior
If you struggle with mutual respect in your relationship, seeing a couple's counselor or therapist can help.
What signs of disrespect does a bad privacy policy have?
When looking at a website, read about its privacy policy, and see the rights reserved for the site and its visitors. A bad website privacy policy will show signs of disrespect by selling your data, or having poor security, which can lead to your data being sold.
How does a husband show respect to his wife?
To show respect to your wife, show interest in her life, her thoughts, and her emotions. When she speaks, listen, and be willing to work out compromises that consider both of your needs and that work for both of you. Ask how her day was, and let her know that she is appreciated. Learn her love language and make an effort to communicate. When she is upset, nervous, or pursuing something new, ask how you can best support her.
Be grateful and when she works hard to take care of herself and you, express that gratitude. Let her know what you admire about her, and which qualities she has that you hope to replicate. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable and compliment her when you see her putting in an effort. Life is hard for everyone sometimes, and it is good to have a cheerleader. The more love you put into this person, the more you will see them blossom and thrive.
What is a man's role in a marriage?
A man's role, as well as a woman's role or a non-binary person's role, is to show mutual respect in a relationship.
Every relationship is unique because every person is unique. We all come with different personality types, quirks, needs, desires, and so on. Your role in a relationship is to consider both your spouse and yourself and to work together to create a dynamic that is loving, respectful, and reciprocal.
If something arises and you realize that you are doing something that makes it seem as though you do not respect your spouse, work to fix it. If your spouse says that they feel hurt by something you did, look for signs you are engaging in behavior that is not respectful.
If you do not respect someone, your marriage is not going to be a healthy one, so even if you do not see it at first, it is important to put your pride aside and take responsibility for your actions.
How can I be a better mother and wife in marriage?
The answer to this question is very similar to the answer to, "how does a husband show respect to his wife?" When you want to show someone respect, the very best thing to do is to make it known that you value their perception and perspective. Ask your partner questions, and ask your kids questions, too. When they answer, listen carefully. Be attentive, put down your phone or any other distractions, and soak in all of the information you get. When you don't understand, ask more, and allow them to teach you something new. Engage in a conversation with your loved ones and let them know that their thoughts and feelings are of value to you. Live in the present, be grateful for what you have right now, and let your love and affection show.
Why are people disrespectful?
If you notice signs of disrespect in a partner, friend, family member, or someone else, you might wonder why they do not respect others or act in ways that show a lack of respect. Often, people are disrespectful due to poor self-esteem. When people show signs of disrespect toward others, they might be putting people down in attempts to lift themselves up due to their own lack of confidence. People attack others out of jealousy sometimes, but their jealousy is not an excuse to continue the behavior. Instead, it is something they need to work through themselves so that they can maintain healthy relationships and improve their behavior. It is also possible that a person who shows signs of disrespect was raised in a family where disrespect was the norm. They might have been raised in a toxic home environment and could've adopted the traits of the people around them growing up. Again, a person in this situation must work through the issue. They may lack emotional intelligence or struggle to control their emotions and act out as a result. However, one thing is always true; you have the right to disengage from situations where you're being disrespected. You can't control other people, but you can control your response.
How do you build respect?
To build respect, engage in the behaviors affiliated with the essential components of respect in relationships such as communication, listening to your spouse, valuing their thoughts, opinions, and interests, and making an effort to show them kindness and appreciation in a way that makes them feel loved, safe, and comfortable. If you ever feel the need to bring someone down when they are happy, ask yourself why. Work through any barriers you have to showing affection or respect. Where do those things stem from? Does it happen when you're in a bad mood, or does it stem from family patterns? Do you have secretly low confidence? When you figure out what's holding you back, you can work through these roadblocks. Both individual counseling and couples counseling can help you to do this. Individual counseling can help you work through your own barriers or difficulties, whereas couples therapy is a great place to work through marriage problems collectively. There is a lot of marriage advice pertaining to love and respect out there, and it can certainly be helpful in building respect as a couple, but counseling will offer you an individualized way to approach things with an experienced professional present. Going to couples counseling shows that you are putting in the effort and that you want to change anything in a relationship that's causing undue pain. To build respect in a relationship or to heal a relationship where there was a lack of respect at one point, couples counseling can be a game-changer. You and your partner need to have the respect you deserve, and you can get there when the desire to progress is there on both sides.
Can you fall in love again after heartbreak?
Experiencing a heart break can be devastating, and love after heartbreak may seem impossible or totally out of reach. The hardest part of a breakup for many people is accepting that the future they envisioned with their former partner is no longer there, and it can be very hard to want to pursue anyone else for a while.
Like any other emotional event, mending a broken heart takes time. Do not push yourself to rush into love after heartbreak too quickly. Take the time you need to heal and focus on yourself. The best way to enter a new relationship is as a happy and healthy version of yourself.
The good news is that it is totally possible to fall in love again after a heart break. Throughout life, you will meet people of all sorts of backgrounds with all sorts of experiences. If you find yourself struggling to let go of a failed relationship (like constantly comparing your new love to your old, or having trust issues), you might not be ready to start dating again.
You might also consider speaking to a counselor or therapist to work through some of the issues and stressors you feel as you go through the process of healing heartbreak and starting new relationships.
Can a man learn to love after heartbreak?
Anyone who experiences a heart break is capable of loving again, men included. Relationships can be hard to get over, especially if you were on the receiving end of the breakup. But it is important to remember that being in a relationship isn’t the only thing that matters; there are ways to enjoy life on your own or, eventually, with someone else.
Men may sometimes feel less comfortable expressing their emotions as they process a breakup and mend a broken heart. Society puts a lot of pressure on men to keep emotions and feelings to themselves, even those surrounding a heart break, but this is incredibly unhealthy.
Do not be afraid to have conversations with friends or loved ones as you work through this difficult time. Communication and reflection are very important parts of healing.
How long does love last after a breakup?
How long feelings linger after a heart break depends on a lot of factors, like how long the relationship was, how serious the relationship was, or even just the individual. Some people may have an easier time letting go of a failed relationship than others.
If you feel like you are struggling or that your feelings will never go away, just know you are not alone. Sometimes breakups are very unexpected and hard to process. Even when you see it coming, it can still be incredibly hard to let go of a person you loved.
Give yourself the time you need to grieve what is very much a loss. It may take weeks, or it may take months. There is no time limit on personal healing. Be kind to yourself and remember those you have in your life to support you.
How many days does it take to forget someone you love?
There is not really a concrete timeline for falling in and out of love. How you process your heart break, the circumstances surrounding it, and a variety of other factors will likely impact your personal experience.
You may never forget this person you loved, but there will be days when they are not the most important person in your life anymore. You will fall in love again, you will probably also get hurt again, and all these experiences blend to make you a stronger and more experienced person. You learn from everyone you meet, and your relationships with people will grow and change. With time, you will learn to feel gratitude and peace about breakups from the past.
See “how long does love last after a breakup?” for more details.
How long should you wait for love after heartbreak?
There is not really an exact number of weeks, months, etc. that heartbreak ends and it is safe to begin a new relationship. It really depends on you, your feelings, and the process you have to take to recover from your heart break.
When you miss being in a relationship, it can be tempting to hop into a new one without giving yourself the time you need to recover from one in the past. You might want to fall in love quickly again to help cover up the pain of having to give that feeling up.
Rushing into a relationship with someone who might not actually be that great for you – or someone you do not really like all that much – will likely only lead to more pain. Being single can be hard, but it is important to remember to take care of yourself. And while sometimes being single can feel lonely, it is also extremely liberating, and it is the best time for personal growth. There may be a day when you meet someone who you want to get serious with and you fall into a rhythm of being together every day and making sacrifices for each other. When that day comes, you will want to be able to say that you appreciated and took advantage of your time as a single person.
Who hurts more after a breakup?
There is no definitive answer to this question either, because, like many of the topics discussed so far, it depends on a lot of factors. Who broke up with who? Why did the breakup occur? How long was the relationship? Was the breakup thoughtful and considerate, or was it unexpected and poorly executed?
The reality is that, in general, both parties usually feel some degree of hurt or heart break after a failed relationship. It can be really frustrating when it seems like your ex-partner is doing better than you in a time of pain but looks can be deceiving.
Even if you think you are more hurt by your breakup – and you very well may be – you do not need a justification to feel the way you do. If you are worried you are overreacting, remember that you are losing something that was likely a big part of your life. It is okay and normal to have ups and downs as you go through the process of healing heartbreak.
There is no need to compare yourself and your pain to the other person. You are both going through completely different processes right now, and you will handle those processes differently. You have no idea what your ex-partner is feeling, and maybe they are struggling in the same way you are. But remember that person is not your responsibility in the same way they might have been when you were together. For at least a little while, put some time into taking care of YOU. Treat yourself with love, empathy, and affection. Use this time to let your confidence and hobbies blossom. It might be time to redecorate your apartment, get a new wardrobe, a new workout routine, or a new interest. Heartbreak can be an extremely powerful catalyst for change.
Why do I still love someone who broke my heart?
Love is not something that is easy to turn on and off. Sometimes we fall in love with people we wish we had not, and sometimes we struggle to get over our feelings for someone regardless of whether or not we are even dating them. Remember that it is not your fault that you feel the way that you do; love often means loving people even when they hurt us or do something that is less than desirable.
You can still love someone as a person and love the memories you made together even following a breakup. During the time right after a breakup, it might be difficult to consider being friends or having contact, and that is okay. Over time, your feelings will begin to fade and become manageable.
Give yourself the time and care you deserve. It is hard to stop loving someone you may have thought was your one true love, or someone you thought you were going to marry. Even if things were not that serious, letting go of love is no easy task.
Take some time for self care. Build up your self-image and confidence. If you are filled with self-respect, you will not accept a partner who does not treat you with the love you expect and deserve. Throw yourself into the present moment. Take a trip. Re-do your apartment. Buy a new wardrobe. Take up a side hustle. Being single also means that you are free. Get to know, and fall in love with your new self.
Can you fall in love after heartbreak with the same person?
When you fall in love with someone, the feelings might linger even after a breakup. Or perhaps you move on only to fall in love with your ex-partner once again. Whatever the case may be, love can be finnicky. The same things about someone that made you fall in love in the past may still be there, especially if you remain friends or keep in touch.
If you are happy on your own or do not want to pursue your ex again (or if you should not pursue them again), these feelings might be frustrating. You can employ some of the techniques we have discussed throughout this guide to help you through your emotions.
How do I stop loving my ex?
If you are struggling to let go of feelings for someone, you might find it helpful to focus on other parts of your life. You can spend time on hobbies, spending time with friends, traveling, visiting family, and more. Reviving these other parts of your life and investing time in other relationships may help you take your mind off of your ex.
Even so, you may still have moments of sadness or hurt as you process your breakup. You may have sleepless nights, lots of feelings of doubt or loss, or other emotional challenges. This is an excellent time to confide in those who you are close to about how you feel. They may not be able to completely erase the pain, but their support can be extremely useful in your time of pain and need.
For More Information About Love After Heartbreak And Mental Health:
Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. But, keeping these nine things in mind can ensure that you will get the most out of online therapy, regardless of what your specific goals are.
If you're still wondering if therapy is right for you, and how much therapy costs, please contact us at contact@regain.us. ReGain specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you're interested in individual therapy, please reach out to contact@regain.us. For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on
If you need a crisis hotline or want to learn more about therapy, please see below:
For more information on mental health, please see:
- SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) SAMHSA Facebook, SAMHSA Twitter
- Mental Health America, MHA Twitter, MHA Facebook, MHA Instagram, MHA Pinterest
- WebMD, WebMD Facebook, WebMD Twitter, WebMD Pinterest
- NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NIMH Facebook, NIMH Twitter, NIMH YouTube
- APA (American Psychiatric Association), APA Twitter, APA Facebook, APA LinkedIN, APA Instagram
