I Was Cheated On! Is There Karma For Cheaters?
By Russ Womack
Updated March 25, 2020
Reviewer Aaron Horn
"Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says she'll be with you shortly."
One of the most degrading and trust damaging acts that can occur is being cheated on. Whether with a high school crush or infidelity after 20 years of marriage. Being cheated on can rip the very threads of love and cause distrust for the remainder of the relationship. Also, the damage it does to the victim is horrendous. Psychologists are now studying the effects that infidelity can have on a person's mental and physical health. People who experience more emotional and psychological distress after being cheated on engaged in more risky behaviors were more likely to eat less or not eat at all, use alcohol or marijuana more often, have sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or over-exercise.
A person who has experienced infidelity goes through the same five stages of loss as someone who has lost someone by death. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And just like someone grieving through the death of a loved one, the grief process is not linear, and no two people experience it in the same way. You might take longer in some stages and shorter in others, and you might skip a stage or revisit a stage you thought you had healed from.
For instance, you might think that you're over the anger stage and have healed from it. Then out of nowhere you find yourself raging mad again after being triggered by a honeymoon photo or a picture on social media. And it's in this stage of anger where you might wonder, hope, and even pray for karma on the person who cheated on you.
So, is there karma for cheaters?
I Was Cheated On! Is There Karma For Cheaters?
Countless stories are hovering around the internet, coffee shops, and bars where the cheater was seen recently with their home in foreclosure, their relationship in shambles, and that they too were cheated on. Yes, there is karma for cheaters.
But instead of wishing for karma to bite them, it's better to work on yourself and understand some things that you do have control over. You can in turn heal and better yourself while karma does its thing. Here are some things to work on, pay attention to, and ponder.
Don't Wait For Karma
One of the worst things you can do is spend every minute waiting for karma to strike. You're angry, and that's understandable. But you don't want to stay angry until karma strikes the unfaithful. That only damages you and prevents you from healing from the grief process. While your ex is living their life to the fullest, you're stuck in a moment in time that you can't get past. It's similar to the saying about unforgiveness: "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
In fact, suppressed, unexpressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression, high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems. You're already going through enough to add emotional and physical ailments.
The hard truth is that you might never see the ill effects of karma on the other person. Maybe you've lost all contact with them and have no way of knowing how they are doing. Don't wait around and waste precious time wondering whether karma will strike at the risk of further hurting yourself.
See Them For Who They Really Are
Now is a great time to step back and look at your ex for who they are. They weren't perfect. They have made some bad choices that will follow them throughout their life. You are currently suffering because of those bad decisions. Furthermore, because of their risk factors, the chances of them having karma strike back is multiplied. Let's look at some of these factors.
- Addiction: Substance abuse issues, whether alcohol, drugs, gambling, or sex, are clear risk factors. Alcohol, in particular, can reduce a person's inhibitions so that a person who wouldn't consider having an affair when sober, may cross the line while under the influence. But the cheater is playing with fire with any of these addictions. Getting drunk or on drugs and having sex can lead to being uncareful and unprotected, which can lead to sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancies. Karma?
- Previous Cheating: Chances are you weren't the first to have been cheated on. It shows you how truly empty your ex is to use sex to fill a void that they have within themselves. There's a good chance that karma might come in the form of a miserable life, going from relationship to relationship while cheating on them all, waking up unhappy.
- Personality Disorders and Psychological Issues: Your ex might have narcissistic traits,and the affair may have been driven by their ego and a sense of entitlement. In addition to being self-centered, narcissistic people often lack empathy, so they don't care who they hurt. Narcissistic people hate seeing others do well. First and foremost, true happiness comes from within, and narcissistic people are unable to feel genuine happiness because they lack a sense of genuine self. As a result, they are chronically miserable people who desperately try to medicate themselves through control and belittlement of others to manage their fragile sense of self-esteem. They seek certain external rewards that they perceive increase their status-material things like cars, boats, sex (infidelity), power, money. They don't understand true happiness and will most likely live the remaining days of their lives unfulfilled and empty. Sounds like karma to me!
Understand Why People Cheat
Sometimes understanding why someone did hurtful things to you can help you see what you did, or didn't do. This is important because as you're going on with your life improving yourself and putting back the pieces. You'll gain more self-esteem by realizing how their shortcomings, not yours, was the reason they cheated. You're not alone with being cheated on. In fact, upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. Here are some reasons why people cheat:
- They Want To Be Someone Else: Translation-they don't like themselves. The person who cheated on you was unhappy with who they were. Karma will surely catch up with them through continued depression and seeking something, like happiness, that they'll never find.
- They Want A Change Of Scenery: For some cheaters, it's about the mere thrill of the chase and living life on the edge. But once they catch their prey-the other cheater, the thrill is gone, and they're onto something new. Once again, we see the continual pursuit for happiness that they'll never reach as long as they continue with their selfish and destructive ways.
- There's A Lack Of Emotional Connection: As mentioned previously, a person who cheats likely has a narcissistic attitude, and with that comes an absence of emotional connection with others. Staying faithful with someone requires commitment, perseverance, and an emotional connection, and someone who cheats lacks these qualities. Karma once again is on their heels with never having the chance to experience what true love is.
- They're Aging: From the moment we're born, we're dying. That's a fact. The inevitable will surely happen, and before death finds us, we'll slowly lose the flawless porcelain skin, thick hair, and full set of pearly whites. Karma is breathing heavy on the backs of cheaters with this inevitable fact because time is running out. They've spent their life trying to fulfill something that can't be fulfilled and pursuing something that doesn't exist. One day they'll look back and realize how miserable they've always been. Now that's karma in full force!
Make Your Own Karma
Ok, we've saved the best for last. Honestly, no one knows if karma will repay the damage the cheater did to you. But the beautiful thing is that you can make your karma. How? Get healthy, set boundaries, respect yourself, be happy and joyful every morning when you wake up, put that beautiful smile on your face even when you don't feel it, do all the things you've always wanted to do, live life as if it's your last day on earth, take your power and self esteem back! You see, in all actuality, you won! So celebrate! You've done the work of soul searching and finding who you are what you'll accept and not accept, from future relationships. And all the while, the person who cheated on you is miserable, and even more furious because they see you living a life in a healthy, joyful, happy way-something they can never achieve. They know it. And that's karma!
You've been cheated on. It's not something that should be watered down or lessened, because it's devastating and can have real, long-term effects. Remember that you're not alone. Not only do the statistics prove it, but you're also not alone because there are caring and understanding professional counselors who can relate to situations like this. At ReGain, there are online counselors available seven days a week, 24/7,if you need help or have questions about cheating, relationships, or anything else you may be experiencing. Decide for yourself if it's time to make that call. The counselors are available right now and are standing by ready to help you.