How Do Affairs End Usually? | Infidelity Can Last Years
There are many schools of thought regarding extramarital affairs. In some circles, affairs are not talked about, particularly because they are regarded with disdain. To some people, an affair is the last act of ultimate betrayal, as it warrants a swift and emphatic removal from someone’s life. For others, affairs are painful but accepted, and couples try to move forward in health and forgiveness. No matter the cultural paradigm in real life or personal belief systems, certain themes tend to emerge when someone has an affair, many of them transcending age, years of marriage, background, gender, and race.
Affairs And How Long They Last
Affairs EndThe exact trajectory of an affair can vary and differ from situation to situation. However, most affairs come with some type of pain, heartbreak, or damage. If you have discovered that your partner is having an affair or you are in an affair yourself, it can be vital to be open and honest about how you’re feeling. Whether you choose to repair the relationship is up to you and your significant other. Healing can be important for all parties involved, regardless of reconciliation or separation.
Online Counseling With Regain
It can be difficult to determine what to do after an affair. In some cases, speaking with a professional and about your next steps can be helpful. Regain is an online counseling platform that provides mental health services for individuals and couples experiencing a variety of issues. If you’ve been through an affair and need advice, accessing therapy via the internet may allow you to feel comfortable enough to be transparent about how you’re feeling. You can choose when and where you connect with your therapist, giving you more control over your experience.
The Efficacy Of Online Counseling
Couples who are grappling with the effects of infidelity may benefit from online counseling as they decide what to do next. Several studies have shown that therapy accessed online can be just as effective as face-to-face options. In one study, researchers found that couples counseling delivered via videoconferencing proved to be “a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions, especially for those couples who may not have access to the treatment they require.” The therapeutic alliance increased over time and participants experienced improvements in their relationship satisfaction, mental health, and other outcomes.
Meet Our Therapists
Carla Noto-Vencill - MA,LMFT
Cynthia Wiedemann - LMFTTerry Brewer - LCSW
Catherine Wilson - LMHC
Heather Connors - LCSW, PPSC
Joseph Frey - MA, LMFT
Stephen Robinson - MA, LCMHCS, LCAS
Darcy Dobb - LCSW, MHPP
Cheryl Williams - MA
Shannon Caraway - LCSW
Dr. Patrick Casthely - LMHC, MCAP, PHD
Dennis Doke - M.S., LMFT-S, LPC-S
Debra Jenkins - MSW, LCSW-C
Affairs can impact anyone, but not everyone handles them in the same way. How you choose to move forward is a personal decision that may be influenced by a number of different factors. If you feel confused or disheartened by your situation, speaking with an online counselor could help. Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone goes into it seeking the same things. Keeping these things in mind can ensure you get the most out of online therapy, regardless of whether your specific goals are about working through an affair, or something beyond it.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Do Affair Relationships Last?
According to a 2017 study, relationships that start due to mate poaching are generally less satisfying, less committed, and less invested in when compared to people whose relationships started when they were both single. People in relationships that started with mate poaching also tend to be further interested in pursuing other relationship options. In other words, they’re typically more likely to cheat again.
How Long Do Affairs Last?
The longevity of an affair can depend on varying factors. Some are one year, and others don't even make it that long. A short-term affair could be anything from a one-night stand to an occasional hookup over a year. Some affairs last longer, and few lead to marriage. A long affair or long-term affair where there’s a serious relationship with a married woman or man could be anywhere from six months to several years, at which point the couple may be discovered.
How Does Infidelity End?
Infidelity often ends when it’s discovered by the partner who is being cheated on. In some cases, a person may stop being unfaithful when they feel guilty about it. There are many other ways in which infidelity can end. When infidelity is discovered in a marriage, the couple faces a choice. They can either decide to end the marriage and deal with subsequent issues of alimony, divorce, and child support, or they can choose to stay together. Many married couples stay together after one spouse has an affair. Some couples even use it as a wake-up call to deal with greater problems in the relationship and use it as an opportunity to bring passion back to their union. Others decide to divorce because they cannot move past the infidelity.
What Percentage Of Infidelity Ends In Divorce?
It’s possible to save your marriage after an affair. In fact, many married couples stay together after an affair. Fewer than 25% of married men and women leave their marriage for a partner they met while having an affair. Therefore, about 75% of married couples remain together, meaning that a married woman or man is not likely to leave their marriage for a lover. This could be due to people not wanting to deal with legal issues like alimony, child support, and the justice system, or it could be because that affair was a wake-up call, which they used to bring further togetherness and intimacy into their own relationship.
Couples can recover after infidelity affairs or marital affairs, so if you’re wondering if that’s possible for a personal romantic relationship of yours where marital affairs have been present, know that it is possible if both you and your spouse are dedicated and invested in healing your trust and the relationship overall.
Are Affairs Real Love? Can There Be More To The Infidelity?
This is a complex question that can significantly depend on your personal situation. Can people find love outside of marriage? Yes. However, in terms of statistics, does infidelity usually lead to happy, healthy, and satisfying relationships? Not usually.
Couples who started as cheating then later came together, whether they were couple friends, best friends, coworkers, or in-laws, tend to be deeply unhappy in their relationships as opposed to people who both started single. It may feel good at the beginning; you both love to spend time together in each other’s company. However, these affairs rarely last, especially when tested with real-life challenges. Also, someone who cheated in their marriage or relationship is about three times more likely to cheat again in later relationships. For this reason, it can be the healthiest decision to seek out available partners, because if they are cheating in their relationship, then they might be using you for reasons other than genuine love.
How Many Marriages Survive Infidelity?
More than half of marriages survive infidelity. Many couples even report feeling stronger and deeper in love after surviving an affair, but it often takes a lot of work and some deep forgiveness. There are many factors that could complicate the way that a relationship recovers from an affair; for example, if the affair partner is many years younger, there could be a particular sense of betrayal, hurt, confusion, and even a sense of inadequacy for the betrayed spouse. The same can be true for those who find out about long-term affairs. It is certainly possible that infidelity starts and ends multiple times. As the betrayed spouse, it can be important to seek support in order to heal and to give yourself time to grieve appropriately.
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