How To Ask A Girl To Hang Out When You Want To Get To Know Her Better

Updated September 20, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

Asking a girl out can be scary. It involves putting yourself out there and taking a step toward the possibility of a relationship. But what if she rejects you, or what if she just wants to be friends?

There can be many reasons why you might be feeling nervous or afraid to ask a girl out, but there are also steps you can take to help make it feel easier and more manageable. If you are interested in getting to know someone better and you want to ask them to hang out, read on for a few ideas to help you navigate this process.

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Asking Someone Out Can Be Scary

Tips For Asking A Girl To Hang Out

If you’re trying to figure out how to ask a girl you’re interested in to hang out, consider some of the tips below:

  1. Recognize That She Could Say Yes Or No

As you begin to think about asking a girl to hang out, it can be helpful to recognize the possibility that she could say yes or no. Acknowledging and accepting this possibility of rejection upfront can be beneficial as you put yourself out there, as it can help you to be more emotionally prepared for the possible outcomes. Also, if you ask her to hang out and she says no, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you two can’t be friends. If she is someone you want in your life and she is open to friendship, you can continue the connection as friends.

  1. Be Honest With Yourself

Before you ask a girl out, it can also be important to be honest with yourself. What feelings are you experiencing towards her? Is it casual interest? Could it be infatuation? Is it something more? Whatever it is, the more honest you are with yourself, the more equipped you may be to express what it is you’re looking for and ask for that. 

  1. Communicate Clearly

When you approach the girl you’re interested in, try to be clear and transparent with your words. You don't have to play it off as a joke or say it in a sly way that could be misinterpreted. If you are direct and honest, it can convey a clear message that you want to be around her. She may appreciate the clarity of communication. Depending on the situation and your comfort level, you might consider asking her out in person, over the phone, or over text. However you decide to do it, try to express yourself clearly so that you two are on the same page. 

  1. Have A Plan In Mind

Asking something simple like, "do you want to hang out sometime?" may get a response and be a good start, but it can often be more effective to have a plan in mind and ask something more specific. For instance, you could have a couple options of activities to present to her, and you could include a few dates and times you are available. When you have a plan or at least a few options in mind, it may allow the two of you to make something happen more easily or more quickly. You can still be flexible and open to her ideas and preferences; having a plan may just allow you to have a stronger starting point to jump off from. 

  1. Give Some Thought To What You Can Talk About

Since this is a girl that you want to get to know better, having some conversation topics in mind can be a helpful way to cultivate an engaging time together and avoid any awkward silences—especially if you are feeling very nervous for the date. This doesn’t have to mean doing lots of preparation or thinking of specific talking points; it can just mean brainstorming a few questions you might want to ask her or thinking of a few topics you can bring up if the conversation starts to drag.

These could be basic questions about work, family, and hobbies, but you can also get fun with things like "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?" You can be creative and have fun with it. You might also think of a few questions for her based on things you’ve talked about previously over text, for instance. 

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Asking Someone Out Can Be Scary
  1. Practice Active Listening And Two-Way Communication

While you two are hanging out, try to be an active listener to fully absorb what she’s saying. While she is talking, try to listen closely, rather than planning out the next thing you are going to say. By paying full attention to her words, you can get to know her more deeply and also cultivate a more genuine, engaging conversation. Try to create a balance of both listening and talking, so that you both have a chance to express yourselves and hear from the other person. As you get to know each other more, you can see if there is chemistry for another date.

How To Find Support

Dating and relationships can be difficult to navigate at any stage, so if you would like additional support with these or other related concerns, you can connect with an online therapist for help. Research has shown that online couples therapy can be effective in improving relationship satisfaction, mental health, and other concerns. 

Some couples may prefer to have discussions about these personal, vulnerable concerns from the comfort of their own space. With online therapy through Regain, you and your partner can meet with your therapist wherever you have an internet connection, including the comfort of your home. 


Asking a girl out can be nerve-racking and intimidating sometimes, but there are strategies you can try to help make it feel more manageable. For instance, you can communicate clearly, have a few activities in mind, and think of some possible conversation topics. If you would like additional support with relationship concerns, online therapy can help. 

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