How To Start A Conversation With A Guy: Forging Connections Both Online And Off

Starting a conversation with anyone can be a frightening task, particularly as an adult. Because familiarity is an important part of creating a connection, the best way to start a conversation with a guy is to make your presence known.

Learning to talk to others

Talking to other people is a skill fortunately, it is a skill that can be learned. Whether you are hoping to figure out how to strike up small talk with the man in whom you are interested, or you want to take your conversation deeper, there are skills you can develop to aid you in your quest. Whether you want to learn how to start a conversation on Tinder with a guy, or you want to figure out exactly how to approach the kind grocer at your preferred market, there are steps you can take to make this happen.

Learning how to start a conversation with a guy is as much about creating a connection as it is about creating comfort and familiarity; However, there are plenty of intoxicating chemicals involved in the novelty of meeting someone new and creating a new relationship, these chemicals only last so long, and are usually not enough to continue a relationship. Instead, you must cultivate closeness, connection, and intimacy, which requires becoming familiar with one another, having consistent and involved conversations, and learning more about one another.

Why is familiarity important?

Starting a conversation with a guy can start by making your presence a regular staple in his life. After all, if familiarity breeds comfort, interest, and intimacy, you can get your foot in the door by simply becoming a familiar face. The more you interact with your love interest face-to-face, the better: regularly seeing someone you are interested in raises attraction for both parties.

1) Start with a smile

Smiling is a powerful tool. It can make you seem kinder and more trustworthy and is a small, simple way to invite someone to talk to you or interact with you. Beginning with a smile can help put you at ease, but the person you are interested in at ease and welcomes closer, more intimate conversation. If you are starting your conversation online, this will have to be adapted; if you are using a dating site, make sure your profile picture is one of you smiling.

2) Know your motive

If you are hoping to get to know someone casually, the way you speak will differ greatly from how you speak to someone you are hoping to force a lasting connection with.

3) Have some topics handy

Having topics on hand can help ease some of the anxiety involved in talking to someone new. If you know a little something about the person you are hoping to talk to, you can tailor your subjects to his likes and interests and highlight the things you have in common. If you are unfamiliar with him, you can select relatively universal topics in their interest, such as sports, preferred animals, or preferred sources of humor.

4) Highlight commonalities

When you begin talking to someone, emphasize the things the two of you have in common. As mentioned above, familiarity is an important, positive aspect of forging connections and maintaining them. If you want to keep someone's interest piqued, make sure to draw attention to any similarities the two of you might have, such as your family histories, your belief systems, or even your areas of expertise. Pointing out how the two of you are similar can help keep the conversation going strong and plant the idea in your conversation partner's mind that the two of you are uniquely compatible.

5) Keep the questions coming

Everyone likes to have attention on them at some point or another. When striking up a conversation with a guy, whether you are speaking to him in person or on an online platform, keep the questions coming to forge a connection and continue your exploration of one another. People love to talk about themselves and often love being the center of attention when they like the person offering the attention, so having a steady stream of questions in your back pocket can be a wonderful way to keep your romantic interest alive.

6) Don't be afraid of silence

There will be lulls in conversation. The natural flow of a conversation necessitates certain points during which neither party is speaking. You might find that eating together instigates this halt in the flow of your conversation or that the halt seems to come on the heels of a more intense conversation about personal ideals, pitfalls, or political beliefs this is not something to fear. Allowing silence to have its place can allow both of you to feel more at ease with one another, as neither of you will feel a powerful impulse to fill the silence with uninteresting nonsense derived from fear and desperation. Silence is an acceptable, expected aspect of interpersonal interaction.

Starting a conversation with a guy

While getting to know someone new can be a daunting process and might feel overwhelming or completely out of reach, there are practical steps you can take to carve out a more comfortable, pleasant experience for you and the person you are hoping to get to know. Setting aside conversation topics, remaining open, and cultivating intimacy can all be important facets of creating a connection with the object of your affection, and can go a long way in determining how close, connected, and interested your guy feels.

The way you start a conversation might have slight variations, based on whether you are starting a conversation online or in person. In person, you may want to begin with a smile and a casual remark about the day, while online, you may want to start with something a bit more interesting than generic small talk by perhaps acknowledging something you saw on the person's profile. In either case, though, your goal is to create a situation that allows you to continue your interaction with one another.

Possible stumbling blocks

Some instances in which the usual nerves of speaking to someone new run rampant and make speaking to someone new almost impossible. This can come as a result of prior trauma or difficulty in relationships, romantic and platonic alike. If your experience with relationships has largely been unpleasant or marked by pain and rejection, you might feel an intense urge to keep to yourself and avoid opening yourself up to the possibility of someone new.

Anxiety can also be a stumbling block when you are trying to create new connections. While anxiety is often seen as an occasional visitor, who shows up in response to a single intense life event, chronic anxiety can be crippling. General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder can do both works against you when you are trying to create new connections, and treatment for these conditions might be important in helping you learn how to connect with other people and reach out to the guy you've been interested in.

If you've found that you struggle more than seems typical with speaking to other people, engaging in social situations, or just generally muddling through life, it may be time to seek professional help. Anxiety rates are experiencing unprecedented highs in the modern world, and there is neither shame nor embarrassment in acknowledging that you need a little bit of extra help. Anxiety is not an indication of a personal flaw or failure on your part. Anxiety has many complicated risk factors and causes, most of which are outside of your control. Speaking with a licensed therapist, such as those working with Regain.us, can help you develop tools and strategies to manage your anxiety, improve your communication skills, and create a brighter, more connected future.

Takeaway

Although starting a conversation can be difficult, there are many steps you can take to mitigate the difficulty. Having topics on hand, familiarizing yourself with the guy you're interested in, and remaining open are all simple and effective ways to engage with someone new and begin the process of getting to know each other.