It’s All In The Details: How To Satisfy A Man In Your Relationship
By: Corrina Horne
Updated April 16, 2021
Many a magazine claims to have the definitive list to satisfying a male partner. Some will delineate the exact sexual steps you must take to keep a man on the line, while others will focus more on the emotional aspects of keeping your man's proverbial belly full. Ultimately, human beings should not be carved into pieces and facets but should be viewed as a whole. To satisfy your man, keep your focus on everything that makes him who he is, rather than trying to satisfy piecemeal.
What Is Satisfaction?
Relationship satisfaction is identified as an individual's positive experience of their relationship. Someone who expresses relationship satisfaction feels positive about their relationship, regardless of any arguments or obstacles they face. In contrast, relationship dissatisfaction is characterized by negative feelings toward your romantic relationship(s), regardless of the amount or types of obstacles and difficulties faced within the relationship. Surprisingly, obstacles are not necessarily a predictor of relationship satisfaction.
Relationship satisfaction, then, is not merely an absence of conflict or difficulty within a relationship but seems to be tied more to the absence of feeling unwanted, unneeded, or unappreciated in romance. A relationship with numerous difficulties might still be viewed positively, provided that both participants in the relationship feel close, bonded, and loving toward one another.
Are Relationship And Marital Satisfaction Possible?
Yes! Despite the trope that all men are secretly hoping to leave their stable relationships in favor of a life devoted to hedonism and supposed freedom, countless studies suggest the exact opposite: men live longer and report greater contentment when they are in long-term relationships, as opposed to men who live their lives as bachelors. Many media sources decry the standard of monogamy as an outdated concept. Still, monogamy is not a concept that is entire without interest or merit for men, and relationship and marital satisfaction do not have to include a third party, a lessening of your standards, or your subjugation to exist for your partner.
Ways To Satisfy Your Partner
Satisfying your partner is highly individual and involves more than reading a simple list. Satisfying your partner has more to do with evaluating yourself, your relationship, and your partner, taking the needs of all three into account, and adjusting how the two of you relate, interact, and behave accordingly. These changes might include:
1) Expressing Satisfaction, Yourself
One of the best ways to help your partner experience satisfaction is by letting him know that you are experiencing satisfaction, as well. Just as you likely feel bolstered by your partner's happiness with you, your partner will feel greater satisfaction knowing that his partner is happy and satisfied in the relationship. Although you should not lie to coddle someone's ego, when you are experiencing satisfaction, happiness, or contentment in your relationship, it is important to acknowledge it to your partner and celebrate your relationship.
2) Communicating Openly And Kindly
Keeping lines of communication open is one of the most important practices to employ if you want to satisfy your partner. When communication grows scant, closed off, or disingenuous, trust begins to unravel, and your relationship quality suffers. Although many people will use honesty to be unkind or downright cruel, it is crucial to practice both open and kind communication.
Kind, honest communication toward your partner invites your partner to do the same. If he begins to experience any form of dissatisfaction, discontent, or frustration, having a long-standing habit of communicating will give him the freedom and space to come to you with his concerns, which can mitigate the effects of disconnection lack of intimacy.
3) Regularly Visiting Your Sex Life
Sex lives wax and wane. At the outset of your relationship, the two of you were likely to have extremely high sex drives, with physical intimacy acting as a regular fixture. As time goes on, though, you might find your sex drives waning. Work stress, children, financial stress, and more can affect the sex drives of both you and your partner, which can lead to dissatisfaction.
That being said, one of the best ways to combat sexual dissatisfaction in your partner is to revisit your sex life with openness and honesty regularly. If you find that your sex drive has dipped, for instance, and your partner hasn't, this can create some ire between the two of you. Communicating through this time and finding ways to work through the frustration can help keep both of you close, satisfied, and content.
Regularly visiting your sex life might mean coming up with an arrangement such as finding sexual tasks you both enjoy during a dry spell or offering your partner opportunities to engage in solo sexual activities. Whatever you and your partner decide is fair is not quite the point; instead, the point is that you keep channels of communication open and make sex and intimacy a priority in your lives.
4) Checking Expectations At The Door
Societal expectations wreak havoc on men and women. Women are often expected to conform to certain gender norms (typically traits and activities considered overtly feminine). In contrast, men are expected to conform to a set of supposedly "masculine" behaviors-a set of standards often referred to as "toxic masculinity." When men experience these expectations in their relationships, their relationship satisfaction plummets, with one small study suggesting that men preferred "bromantic relationships," or close, platonic relationships with male friends to romantic relationships, largely out of fear of judgment.
Your partner's expectations that do not have to do with your mutual health and safety do not have a place in your relationship. Communicating your needs to your partner, agreeing upon certain provisions in your relationship, and moving forward with an understanding is one thing, but bringing unspoken needs and wants and unrealistic expectations into your relationship can provide a fast track to frustration and a dissatisfying relationship.
Trouble In Paradise
Even if you enact all of these techniques, you might still experience trouble in your relationship. This could be due to several factors, ranging from past trauma in either you or your partner, unhealed relationship wounds between you and your partner, or even factors entirely unrelated to you and your partners, such as work or family stress various other mental health ailments. These factors might come into play by creating discord among you and your partner, despite all other aspects of your relationship being in good working order. If this is the case, you can put more effective communication and compassion into your relationship. Still, you may also need to bring in outside help to improve any issues related to past trauma, unresolved emotional troubles, or similar concerns.
This counseling type can be completed in individual sessions for you and your partner or can be started in a couple's session. The two of you attend therapy sessions together and work toward relationship resolution as a team. The types of issues you are combating will play a role in which form of counseling you select. It will also indicate what type of therapy is most likely to help you and your partner.
Your Partner And Satisfaction
Satisfying your partner is far more than checking boxes off of a to-do list and following a list of a certain number of new sexual acts to keep your man's interest. While things like this might have their place, they are only a small picture of a strong, mutually satisfying relationship. They are not enough to consistently deliver relationship satisfaction to you and our partner. To maintain some semblance of romantic satisfaction between you and your partner, you must listen to your partner's wants and needs, express your own, and invest time and energy into your relationship.
Satisfying your partner might seem like a quick investment in a few magazine articles and ensure that you are maintaining your figure or maintaining a certain lifestyle. Still, studies consistently demonstrate that overall relationship satisfaction is largely based on mutual respect, feeling bonded to your partner, and creating an environment that nurtures a loving, close, and accepting relationship. Your figure, your financial situation, and your assets are all far less likely to actually impact whether or not your partner is satisfied with your relationship, which means that instead of focusing on how often you go to the gym, how much energy you are pouring into your job, and how many material objects you have to offer your partner, you are free to view your relationship as a partnership between you and the person you love, instead of a transaction wherein both of you are required to contribute an eye for an eye.
If you find that you consistently espouse views, habits, or practices that seem to cause problems in your relationship, you can also invite a therapist into your life or relationship to work on any existing issues that could help you and your partner. Cultivating a happy, healthy, and pleasant relationship does require time and effort. This effort does not indicate a poor relationship. Instead, you and your partner's willingness to invest yourselves in one another will predict whether or not you have a happy, satisfying relationship.
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