How To Satisfy A Man In Your Relationship

Popular culture provides an abundance of definitive lists of how to satisfy a male partner-- from sexual strategies to the emotional aspects of keeping him satisfied. Ultimately, to fully understand a human being, it’s important to look beyond their pieces and facets and view them as a whole person. To satisfy your man, keep your focus on everything that makes him who he is rather than trying to satisfy different aspects of his persona.

What is satisfaction?

Relationship satisfaction is identified as an individual's positive experience of their relationship. Someone who expresses relationship satisfaction feels positive about their relationship, regardless of any arguments or obstacles they face. In contrast, relationship dissatisfaction is characterized by negative feelings toward your romantic relationship(s), regardless of the amount or types of obstacles and difficulties faced within the relationship. 

Surprisingly, obstacles are not necessarily a predictor of relationship satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction isn’t only measured by an absence of conflict or difficulty within a relationship. It seems to be tied more to whether the partners feel wanted, needed, and appreciated in romance. A relationship with numerous difficulties might still be viewed positively, provided that both participants in the relationship feel close, bonded, and loving toward one another.

Are relationship and marital satisfaction possible?

Studies suggest that men live longer and report greater contentment when they are in long-term relationships, as opposed to men who live their lives as bachelors. Some media sources decry the standard of monogamy as an outdated concept. Still, monogamy is not a concept that is without interest or merit for men. Relationship and marital satisfaction do not have to include another party, a lessening of your standards, or your subjugation to exist for your partner.

Ways to satisfy your partner

Satisfying your partner is highly individual and involves more than following the contents of a list. How to pleasure a guy and how to satisfy your partner has more to do with evaluating yourself, your relationship, and your partner, taking the needs of all three into account, and adjusting how the two of you relate, interact, and behave accordingly. 

These changes might include:

Expressing your satisfaction

One of the best ways to help your partner experience satisfaction is by letting him know that you are experiencing satisfaction, as well. Just as you likely feel bolstered by your partner's happiness with you, your partner will feel greater satisfaction knowing that you are happy and satisfied in the relationship. Although you should not lie or inflate your happiness in the relationship to coddle his ego, when you are experiencing satisfaction, happiness, or contentment in your relationship, it is important to acknowledge it to your partner and celebrate your relationship.

Communicating openly and kindly

Keeping lines of communication open is one of the most important practices to employ if you want to satisfy your partner. When communication grows scant, closed off, or disingenuous, trust begins to unravel, and your relationship quality suffers. Although many people will use honesty to be unkind or downright cruel, it is crucial to practice both open and kind communication.

Kind, honest communication toward your partner invites your partner to do the same. If he begins to experience any form of dissatisfaction, discontent, or frustration, having a long-standing habit of communicating will give him the freedom and space to come to you with his concerns, which can mitigate the effects of disconnection and lack of intimacy.

Regularly visiting your sex life

Sex lives wax and wane. At the outset of most relationships, partners usually experience high sex drives, with physical intimacy acting as a regular fixture. As time goes on, though, you might find your sex drives waning. Work stress, children, financial stress, and more can affect the sex drives of both you and your partner, which can lead to dissatisfaction.

That being said, one of the best ways to combat sexual dissatisfaction in your partner is to revisit your sex life with openness and honesty regularly. If you find that your sex drive has dipped, for instance, and your partner hasn't, this can create a rift between the two of you. Communicating through this time and finding ways to work through the frustration can help keep both of you close, satisfied, and content.

Regularly visiting your sex life might mean coming up with an arrangement, such as finding sexual tasks you both enjoy during a “dry spell” or offering your partner opportunities to engage in solo sexual activities. Whatever you and your partner decide is fair isn’t the main point; instead, the point is that you keep channels of communication open and make sex and intimacy a priority in your lives.

Checking expectations at the door

Societal expectations wreak havoc on people of all genders. Women are often expected to conform to certain gender norms (typically traits and activities considered overtly feminine). In contrast, men are expected to conform to a set of supposedly "masculine" behaviors-a set of standards often referred to as "toxic masculinity." When men experience these expectations in their relationships, their relationship satisfaction plummets, with one small study suggesting that men preferred close, platonic relationships ("bromantic relationships") with male friends to romantic relationships, largely out of fear of judgment.

Your partner's expectations that have nothing to do with your mutual health and safety do not have a place in your relationship. Communicating your needs to your partner, agreeing upon certain provisions in your relationship, and moving forward with an understanding is one thing, but bringing unspoken needs and wants and unrealistic expectations into your relationship can provide a fast track to frustration and a dissatisfying relationship.

Outside influences on dissatisfaction

Even if you enact all of these techniques, you might still experience trouble in your relationship. This could be due to several factors, ranging from past trauma in either you or your partner, unhealed relationship wounds between you and your partner, or even factors entirely unrelated to you and your partner, such as work or family stress or other mental health challenges. 

These factors might come into play by creating discord between you and your partner, despite all other aspects of your relationship being in good working order. If this is the case, you can put more effective communication and compassion into your relationship. Still, you may also need to bring in outside help to improve any issues related to past trauma, unresolved emotional troubles, or similar concerns.

This counseling type can be completed in individual sessions for you and your partner or can be started in a couple's session. The two of you attend therapy sessions together and work toward relationship resolution as a team. The types of issues you are combating will play a role in which form of counseling you select. It will also indicate what type of therapy is most likely to help you and your partner.

Can a therapist help me improve my relationship?

Satisfying your partner takes far more than checking boxes off of a to-do list and engaging in new sexual acts to keep your man's interest. While things like this do often have their place, they are only a small picture of a strong, mutually satisfying relationship. They are not enough to consistently deliver relationship satisfaction to you and our partner. To maintain some semblance of romantic satisfaction between you and your partner, you must listen to your partner's wants and needs, express your own, and invest time and energy into your relationship.

One of the most productive ways to resolve relationship challenges is to speak to a professional specializing in the areas of intimacy and relationships. A counselor can work with you together and individually to cultivate healthy communication, uncover any obstacles to intimacy you’re experiencing, and develop a solid strategy for moving forward successfully. 

Despite the benefits, some couples don’t reach out to a relationship specialist for help. This may be due to difficulty with coordinating schedules to attend appointments, lack of access to professionals in the area, or difficulties commuting to and from appointments. Some people assume they won’t be able to afford therapy or that it won’t work for them. 

While these do present real barriers to counseling, online therapy provides an excellent solution. Online platforms like Regain allow couples to speak with a relationship counselor from the comfort of their home at a time that works for them. There’s no need to commute or rearrange schedules to attend appointments together. 

Virtual couple’s therapy is often more affordable than conventional therapy without insurance, and a growing body of research indicates it is also as effective. For example, a 2022 Australian study measured the effectiveness of online therapy in 30 couples over six sessions. The results suggest that the couples experienced greater relationship satisfaction and adherence to treatment plans, even three months after treatment.

Takeaway

The best way to satisfy a man in your relationship will likely begin with how you contribute to the relationship’s overall health. If you and your partner need help to establish the communication and connection you need, a Regain professional is there to help.