We Failed A Compatibility Quiz: Should We Break Up?

By Stephanie Kirby|Updated July 26, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Aaron Horn, LMFT

We love quizzes when it comes to things like our personality and our relationships. Magazines have included these for years. While there are times when they can be fun to do, the results may leave you confused. For example, after doing a quiz about you and your partner, you may be left thinking, "We failed a compatibility quiz; so how compatible are we actually?"

Chances are, you took the test hoping or even expecting that you and your partner would pass with flying colors. So, when the results come out different than you expect, it can make you start to think. But don't jump to any conclusions just yet. Do you need to be compatible to be happy?

Don't Let A Quiz Determine The Future Of Your Relationship.

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Do not allow the results of the compatibility quiz to determine the future of your relationship. While there are some very well-put-together quizzes available, you shouldn't base the future of your relationship on a simple quiz. Even if it was put together by brilliant psychological minds and people who have studied relationships for decades, there are still other factors to consider.

A failing score does not mean that you call it off with your significant other. Doing so could cause you to miss out on a fantastic relationship.

Look At The Creator Of The Quiz

Before you jump to any conclusions, it's important to consider where this quiz is coming from. A quiz administered by experienced mental health professionals such as a psychologist, doctor, or therapist will be different from a compatibility quiz that you find in the magazine at your dentist's office.

And remember, even quizzes put together by the most experienced professionals still cannot give you a complete and accurate picture of your relationship.

Remember Compatibility And Love Are Not The Same Things

You can be compatible with someone and not love them. And you can love someone and not be compatible with them. Before you make any decisions about the future of your relationship, remember that compatibility is not everything.

If you and your significant other are not naturally compatible, you can still work together to have a successful and healthy relationship.

And, even if you were to pass the compatibility test with the highest score, it doesn't mean that you love the person and should be in a relationship with them. As you determine how to proceed after a failed quiz, you must remember that compatibility and love are not the same.

Analyze The Results For Truth

The first thing you want to do is analyze the results you got and look for the truth. Well-written compatibility quizzes can pinpoint areas of concern in your relationship. They may help you recognize areas that your relationship is already struggling or to see areas where you could struggle in the future.

Don't allow the results of your quiz to offend you. You may not be able to identify the point that it's making within your relationship. You should then review the questions and then take action to correct any deficiencies. After you review the questions, you might be able to figure out if the quiz is off base or do you have room to grow in your relationship.

Get A Second Opinion

If you feel that you and your partner were both honest on the compatibility quiz and the results don't seem to align with your relationship, it can be helpful to get a second opinion. The best person to go to for a second opinion is not a family member or friend.

What you're looking for in a second opinion, the best option is a third party that is not connected with either one of you. You want someone who can be objective, hear both of you, and come to their educated conclusion.

A licensed therapist is a great person to turn to for a second opinion on your relationship. They may be able to recognize the concerns that the compatibility quiz picked up on, or they may be able to help you understand that you don't need to be worried.

Look At Your Relationship

It's also helpful to take a good hard look at your relationship. Think through any areas of concern that were brought up with the quiz. You may find that some of those areas are things that you're uncomfortable with yourself, but you may not have known how to put into words before.

The quiz may help you open your eyes to things you previously missed with your partner. This can be a good time to reevaluate your relationship and see if it's serving both of you the best that it can.

However, don't allow yourself to be swayed into thinking things that aren't true. It's important to remain objective and open-minded when considering the facts.

Address Any Potential Problems

After going through the quiz results, there is a chance that you may have spotted a few problem areas in your relationship. It may not be a full-blown problem at the time, but areas where you can see the potential for a problem.

It's important if you want your relationship to continue in a healthy way that you begin to address these things. There's no reason to wait for a problem to grow before you take care of it if you're aware that it exists.

Take time to sit down with your partner and talk about the concerns that you have. Make sure that you're willing to listen to them and hear their side of it as well. They may have concerns about the relationship that you haven't even thought about before. Do your best to listen with an open mind without being offended if there are things that they're pointing out about you.

If you are both working on improving your relationship, the best way to make it happen is to go about it like a team. If you both love each other and are willing to put the work in, you can have a successful relationship even if your compatibility score doesn't say you can.

What If It's Not Right?

There's a chance that after taking a compatibility quiz, you may realize that your relationship isn't really what you thought it was. You might think that there is more out there for you. You might find someone that's a better fit for you and someone that's a better fit for your significant other.

This is a difficult conclusion to come to and should not be made simply from a failed compatibility quiz. However, if the work you do, look into the quiz results, leads you to realize that this isn't the best relationship for you, then there are a few options that you can consider.

Become More Compatible

It may be that with the right work, you and your partner can have a very successful relationship. You can begin to address the areas that the compatibility quiz brought up and learn to build compatibility. While neither of you must change your personality or try to be someone you're not to make the relationship work, you can make some simple changes to help improve your relationship.

A few things that you can consider include:

  • Learning to speak each other's love language
  • Finding activities that you enjoy doing together
  • Spending more quality time together in conversation getting to know each other better
  • Putting your partner before yourself and trying things they enjoy, even if it's not something you enjoy.

End The Relationship

If you have concerns and your partner is unwilling to address them, or if you can see that it's not the best fit for you, it's better to end the relationship now than to allow it to continue and end it later on.

This allows both of you to move on sooner and doesn't waste any more of your time or your partner's time.

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Reaching Out For Help

If you have a failed compatibility quiz and you aren't sure how to proceed in your relationship going forward, couples counseling is a great option. A licensed therapist with ReGain is available online to help you and your partner decide the next steps for your relationship.

Whether you're considering ending the relationship or you want to know how to improve it to make it the best it can be, a therapist can help you along the way.

A failed compatibility quiz does not automatically need to mean the end of your relationship. But what it does mean is it's time for you to put a little work into it and figure things out for yourself.

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