We Failed A Compatibility Quiz: Should We Break Up?
We love quizzes when it comes to things like our personality and our relationships. You can find tests titled things like “When will I get married quiz,” “Who will marry you quiz,” “Is he the one quiz,” and so much more. Magazines have included these for years. While there are times when they can be fun to do, the results may leave you confused. For example, after doing a quiz about you and your partner, you may be left thinking, "We failed a compatibility quiz; so how compatible are we actually?"
Are we compatible? Chances are, you took the test hoping or even expecting that you and your partner would pass with flying colors. So, when the results come out different than you expect, it can make you start to think. But don't jump to any conclusions just yet. Do you need to be compatible to be happy?
Don't let a quiz determine the future of your relationship
Do not allow the results of the compatibility quiz to determine the future of your relationship. While there are some very well-put-together quizzes available, you shouldn't base the future of your relationship on a simple quiz. Even if it was put together by brilliant psychological minds and people who have studied relationships for decades, there are still other factors to consider.
A failing score does not mean that you call it off with your significant other. Doing so could cause you to miss out on a fantastic relationship.
Look at the creator of the quiz
Before you jump to any conclusions, it's important to consider where this quiz is coming from. A quiz administered by experienced mental health professionals such as a psychologist, doctor, or therapist will be different from a compatibility quiz that you find in the magazine at your dentist's office.
And remember, even quizzes put together by the most experienced professionals still cannot give you a complete and accurate picture of your relationship.
Remember: Compatibility and love are not the same things
You can be compatible with someone and not love them. And you can love someone and not be compatible with them. Before you make any decisions about the future of your relationship, remember that compatibility is not everything.
If you and your significant other are not naturally compatible, you can still work together to have a successful and healthy relationship.
And even if you were to pass the compatibility test for relationships with the highest score, it doesn't mean that you love the person and should be in a relationship with them. On the other side, a marriage compatibility test is a technique for people to find out how compatible they are to be married through a series of questions that are often answered. As you determine how to proceed after a failed quiz, you must remember that compatibility and love are not the same.
Analyze the results for truth
The first thing you want to do is analyze the results you got and look for the truth. Well-written compatibility quizzes can pinpoint areas of concern in your relationship. They may help you recognize areas that your relationship is already struggling or to see areas where you could struggle in the future.
Don't allow the results of your quiz to offend you. You may not be able to identify the point that it's making within your relationship. You should then review the questions and then take action to correct any deficiencies. After you review the questions, you might be able to figure out if the quiz is off base or do you have room to grow in your relationship.
Get a second opinion
If you feel that you and your partner were both honest on the compatibility quiz and the results don't seem to align with your relationship, it can be helpful to get a second opinion. The best person to go to for a second opinion is not a family or friend.
What you're looking for in a second opinion is someone that is not connected with either one of you. You want someone who can be objective, hear both of you, and come to their educated conclusion.
A licensed therapist is a great person to turn to for a second opinion on your relationship. They may be able to recognize the concerns that the compatibility quiz picked up on, or they may be able to help you understand that you don't need to be worried.
Look at your relationship
It's also helpful to take a good hard look at your relationship. Think through any areas of concern that were brought up with the quiz. You may find that some of those areas are things that you're uncomfortable with yourself, but you may not have known how to put into words before.
The quiz may help you open your eyes to things you previously missed with your partner. This can be a good time to reevaluate your relationship and see if it's serving both of you the best that it can.
However, don't allow yourself to be swayed into thinking things that aren't true. It's important to remain objective and open-minded when considering the facts.
Address any potential problems
After going through the quiz results, there is a chance that you may have spotted a few problem areas in your relationship. It may not be a full-blown problem at the time, but areas where you can see the potential for a problem.
It's important if you want your relationship to continue in a healthy way that you begin to address these things. There's no reason to wait for a problem to grow before you take care of it if you're aware that it exists.
Take time to sit down with your partner and talk about the concerns that you have. Make sure that you're willing to listen to them and hear their side of it as well. They may have concerns about the relationship that you haven't even thought about before. Do your best to listen with an open mind without being offended if there are things that they're pointing out about you.
If you are both working on improving your relationship, the best way to make it happen is to go about it like a team. If you both love each other and are willing to put the work in, you can have a successful relationship even if your compatibility score doesn't say you can.
What if it's not right?
There's a chance that after taking a compatibility quiz, you may realize that your relationship isn't really what you thought it was. You might think that there is more out there for you. You might find someone that's a better fit for you and someone that's a better fit for your significant other.
This is a difficult conclusion to come to and should not be made simply from a failed compatibility quiz. However, if the quiz results lead you to realize that this isn't the best relationship for you, then there are a few options that you can consider.
Become more compatible
It may be that with the right work, you and your partner can have a very successful relationship. You can begin to address the areas that the compatibility quiz brought up and learn to build compatibility. While neither of you must change your personality or try to be someone you're not to make the relationship work, you can make some simple changes to help improve your relationship.
A few things that you can consider include:
Learning to speak each other's love language
Finding activities that you enjoy doing together
Spending more quality time together in conversation getting to know each other better
Putting your partner before yourself and trying things they enjoy, even if it's not something you enjoy
End the relationship
If you have concerns and your partner is unwilling to address them, or if you can see that it's not the best fit for you, it's better to end the relationship now than to allow it to continue and end it later on.
This allows both of you to move on sooner and doesn't waste any more of your time or your partner's time.
Reaching out for help
If you have a failed compatibility quiz and you aren't sure how to proceed in your relationship going forward, couples counseling is a great option. A licensed therapist with Regain is available online to help you and your partner decide the next steps for your relationship.
Whether you're considering ending the relationship or you want to know how to improve it to make it the best it can be, a therapist can help you along the way.
Takeaway
There are things you can learn about yourself and your partner in the process of taking a compatibility quiz, but it’s important not to read too heavily into the results. A failed compatibility quiz does not automatically need to mean the end of your relationship. But what it does mean is it's time for you to put a little work into it and figure things out for yourself.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are some compatibility questions?
Compatibility can be difficult to determine, and a trivia quiz won’t always reveal what you need to know. The way two people interact with one another depends on many things, not just a few quick questions about favorite movies and music. To find out if you’re truly compatible with someone, ask and/or answer these 10 compatibility questions:
What’s your favorite way to spend free time alone and with others?
Can you explain your spiritual or religious beliefs?
What are your views on sex and sexuality?
What is your sexual style, and how would you describe your libido?
Would you describe yourself as dependable or spontaneous?
Do you like to spend money or save it?
What’s your favorite characteristic in a person?
Do you think happiness or success is more important?
Are there any things you think are unforgivable?
What’s the most interesting thing you’ve seen, heard, read, or done recently?
Remember, compatibility is a subjective term that gets defined solely by the parameters of a relationship. So, the concept can refer to familial bonds, friendship, or romantic ties depending on each person’s expectations. For more personal inquiries, try discussing subjects in a group or with a therapist before taking a potentially misleading trivia quiz.
What defines compatibility?
Compatibility can be defined in many different ways depending on the parameters of a relationship. For example, coworkers only need to get along for a few hours per day. Thus, their core values don’t always have to match for productivity to occur. In some instances, friendships might even bloom between two people with opposite personalities. Therefore, some people speculate that our environment has a lot to do with it.
Because compatibility means being able to work and play together without much conflict, people who live in close quarters may exhibit fewer compatible behaviors with one another due to their surroundings. However, such conflicts are not an indication of true incompatibility but rather a sign of stress. Also, things don’t always play out the same way in our personal lives.
As such, compatibility is generally described as being content in another person’s company. It occurs when there’s mutual respect and equality in the relationship. So, while having fun with someone is important, too are these 10 characteristics of compatibility:
Similar morals and values
Parallel upbringings
Overlapping interests
Complementary senses of humor
Acceptance of personal quirks
Agreeable communication techniques
Mutual levels of commitment
Uncoerced accountability and empathy
Congruent recreation preferences
Harmonizing lifestyle habits
Keep in mind that your most compatible confidant is always the person you want to good and bad news with before anyone else. So, take a compatibility trivia quiz for a baseline interpretation of your relationship’s future.
How do I know if my partner and I are compatible?
Aside from answering questions in a simple trivia quiz, there are several more ways to determine whether or not you’re compatible with somebody. For starters, a general lack of spark and affection is often the first sign that something is missing. However, people can be completely compatible and still not feel attracted to one another because that’s not all that matters.
To find out if you and your partner are compatible, get to know one another. Take some time to answer personal questions like the ones below:
How do you like to unwind and relax after work?
What’s your spiritual lifelike, and are you religious?
Can you explain your views on sex, sexuality, and lovemaking?
Do you go out of your way for others, or are you selfish?
How do you view spending and saving money?
What are your plans for the future?
What are your three favorite things about me?
If you’re compatible with your partner, then the answers should come easily and without manipulation. Plus, you’ll feel even more connected when you’re done because you will have learned new things about someone you’re already interested in. And if you’ve lost a spark that was once there, take an updated compatibility trivia quiz or seek relationship therapy to keep the union strong.
Should you marry for love or compatibility?
Contrary to popular belief, love is not enough to keep people together. In fact, many people confuse love and compatibility because of the emotions that both involve. However, they’re not at all the same thing, nor are they indicators of a long, happy relationship ahead. A quick trivia quiz may help outline some of the most glaring differences between you and your spouse.
For a marriage to work, there needs to be a balance between love and compatibility. Otherwise, it may prove impossible to work out differences, find solutions to problems, or live harmoniously with one another. That’s especially true when life becomes unpredictable, changes course, or causes a couple to grow apart for whatever reason.
Relationships founded on a combination of love and compatibility tend to last longer and stay stronger throughout the years. Thus, many couples take a trivia quiz before and after the wedding to ensure everything stays aligned despite life’s challenges.
How do you know if you’re not compatible with someone?
A perfect relationship does not exist. Every couple has problems and disagreements even if they’re completely in love and 100% compatible. But even the best compatibility trivia quiz can’t predict how things will end up, so it’s important to know the signs of a mismatch before they ruin your relationship. Here’s how to tell something isn’t lining up:
You have trouble solving conflicts
Your fights are mean and dirty
There are few common interests between you
Your partner doesn’t value your wants or needs
You’ve lost interest or emotional connection
Also, you can spot incompatibility much faster if you pay attention to your own emotions. Your gut may tell you the truth before your brain, or a trivia quiz does. And if your relationship still isn’t working despite your best efforts, it may be a sign that you’ve lost touch or need counseling.
Are compatibility tests accurate?
How long does a compatibility test take?
Is compatibility a reason to break up?
Can you love someone you are not compatible?
Can a relationship last without compatibility?
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