So you've been dating your significant other for several years now. You love your partner, and you might even be thinking about whether or not it's time to get married. Marriage is a huge step in your life, and you don't want to jump into a situation like this before thinking things through. This is why some people try to take extra steps to see if they're truly compatible with their partners before popping the question. You've probably seen someone take a marriage compatibility test online or in a magazine before. Is a marriage compatibility test really reliable, though? Will it really tell you "how compatible are we?"
A marriage compatibility test is a way for people to determine just how compatible they are. Generally, you will be asked a series of questions. You will provide an answer, and your partner will provide an answer. Depending on how you answered the questions that were provided, you'll be given a compatibility score. How high your compatibility score helps you to determine whether you're a good match for one another. This is how it works in theory, but you must keep in mind that these tests aren't a perfect measure of your potential compatibility.
You will often find tests like this in relationship magazines or other types of magazines marketed toward women. Many people see them as fun and potentially thought-provoking quizzes. Taking them too seriously might not be appropriate, but you could use the information to help you see where you're on certain topics. In modern times, it's possible to find marriage compatibility tests online that you can take for free.
It's also important to mention that many married couples take these quizzes or tests as well. Taking the tests when you're already married is a way to see how your relationship is doing. You might not want to judge the health of your relationship based solely on a questionnaire, but sometimes the results can be telling. If you're interested in the idea of taking a marriage compatibility test, then finding one won't be tough at all. Fire up your favorite search engine, and you'll surely find several options in the blink of an eye.
If you haven't ever seen one of these tests before, you can take the time to look at the question examples below. These should give you a good idea of the types of questions you will encounter when taking a marriage compatibility test. This isn't meant to be a compatibility test in and of itself. It is merely serving as an example to help you determine if you might be interested in taking such a test at some point.
"How often do you talk to your partner?"
"How often do you see your significant other?"
"What one word would you use to describe your partner's personality?"
"What one word would you use to describe your personality?"
"How often do you talk about the future together?"
"Do you see yourself being with your current partner in five years?"
"Do you get along with his/her friends?"
"Do you get along with his/her family members?"
"How often do you make love?"
"Do you want to have kids?"
"What's more important to you right now; live or work?"
Some questions will have simple answers, and others might have multiple-choice options. If you're taking a marriage compatibility test online, you will be given a compatibility score after giving your answers. If you find one of these in a magazine, then you'll have to tally your answers and determine your score based on some provided chart. It's a pretty simple system, and you probably shouldn't put too much clout in these tests.
These Tests Aren't That Important.
Now that you've seen the example questions, you can probably tell that these marriage compatibility tests are simple ways to determine compatibility. They look at things from a fairly narrow perspective. If you were hoping that a test like this might give you all of the answers that you're seeking, then you're likely going to walk away feeling disappointed. This doesn't mean that an in-depth compatibility quiz can't be fun to take, but you shouldn't put more emphasis on the quiz than it deserves.
No one should be breaking up with their spouse or deciding to pop the marriage question due to getting positive or negative quiz results. These quizzes are very standard and simple. Take them for what they are and don't use them to make big life decisions. Is a marriage compatibility test reliable? Perhaps to an extent. It just isn't going to be your magic mirror on the wall that tells you what path to take in life.
Work On Building A Strong Relationship
If you want to get married someday and are committed to your current partner, then the best thing you can do is build a strong relationship. Over time, you're going to be able to evolve as a couple. You grow together, and you learn to support one another in new ways. You don't need a compatibility test to tell that you need to work on your relationship. Happy couples never stop working on the relationship, and you should always make your significant other a priority in your life.
Spend more time together and try to grow as people. Learn to communicate effectively and be the supportive partner that your significant other deserves. No one is going to be the perfect romantic partner at first. Just do your best to show your partner love and be there for each other. You can make it through even the toughest times together if you are truly committed to each other. Don't be afraid to acknowledge your weaknesses and understand that you can overcome them. A long-term relationship isn't a sprint to the finish. It's a marathon that you should take at your own pace with your partner by your side.
Knowing When To Get Married
Since you've been with your partner for a while now, you're likely thinking about when the right time is to get married. This isn't something that some questionnaire on the Internet will be able to determine for you. It's up to you to decide when you're ready to make that leap. Some people decide to get married too soon, and they wind up struggling because they were hasty. You shouldn't feel forced into getting married, and you should always consider your partner's feelings. If you love your partner and you want to spend the rest of your life together, then it might be time to start considering marriage.
Some people don't put as much weight behind the concept of marriage. What truly matters is the love that you share. Some people decide to consummate that love, and they make the ultimate commitment of getting married. If you and your partner don't care quite so much, then why should that matter? This is your life, and you only get one. Ask your partner to marry you if you feel like that is what you desire in your heart. You'll likely know when the time is right, and you can decide to walk that path together.
Walking Toward A Happy Future Together
You can't predict the future, but you can commit to walking toward a happy future together. You and your partner need to be committed to one another if you want to have a successful marriage. Your overall compatibility isn't something that simple questions can easily measure. It's also possible to become more or less compatible over time. People change over the years, and they grow. If you want to have a happy marriage, you just need to decide to grow with your spouse and walk in the same direction.
Don't hesitate to talk about the future and what you want out of life. Discover your shared goals and determine if you can compromise on goals that you don't share. These serious conversations aren't always easy, but you can figure out the best path forward. You'll always have each other so long as the love between you stays strong. Just continue to nurture that love, and you will find the happiness that you're seeking.
Seeking Out Couples Therapy Online Might Help
If you're trying to work on your relationship to prepare for marriage, you might want to seek professional help. Couples therapy is a great option, and it's readily available to you. You can get this therapy online, and it's going to be easy to reach out to a therapist at any time. You can work with a licensed therapist to help you overcome any relationship issues that are holding you back. All you need to do is to take the time to sign up today.
Reaching out to these professionals will prove to be a great decision. You will feel confident that your relationship is moving in the right direction when you have compassionate professionals as your allies. Don't hesitate to give online relationship counseling a shot if you know that you need help. Even couples who love each other very much need a bit of assistance sometimes. This is a natural and pleasant way to strengthen your bond, and you'll be able to enjoy a happy marriage if you decide that you want to commit.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
Knowing how compatible you are with a prospective partner is not a simple task. Usually, it involves far more than taking a simple compatibility test or evaluating how similar the two of you are on paper. Knowing if the two of you are compatible often requires far more soul-searching than people like to admit and requires a level of honesty with yourself that may be difficult to stomach.
Although many religious institutions have views on love and marriage that are now considered antiquated, some religious institutions encourage a form of counseling before marriage that can help inform compatibility and manage expectations. Religious institutions are not the sole purveyors of this form of counseling; fortunately, many therapists have services that allow for relationship counseling or pre-marital counseling to help manage expectations before going into a marriage and more clearly identify the likelihood of two people being compatible. This is not to say that this service will prevent divorce; compatibility tests cannot guarantee a successful marriage, after all. Instead, this service is intended to act as a calculator; marriage has odds of success and failure. A compatibility report can help limit some of the risks of failure.
In addition to meeting with a mental health or relationship counselor, you can use a compatibility test, calculator, or another online determiner to measure your compatibility. However, the accuracy of these tests is extremely debatable. Like an online personality quiz, a love test, home marriage test, compatibility test, calculator, or another compatibility measurement should be taken with a grain of salt. It should not be the sole measurement o compatibility you utilize before forging ahead in a relationship.
What does compatibility look like?
Compatibility may not be important in the beginning stages of a dating relationship but becomes increasingly important as a relationship goes on and long-term commitment becomes of interest to both partners. Compatibility is not just about having similar interests or scoring highly on a marriage test, however, and far more often involves the following:
While the adage “opposites attract” remains as popular as ever, legitimate psychological inquiry into the subject reveals a much different picture of what a happy marriage looks like. Opposites do not typically attract when it comes to romance, and when opposites do come together, they are far more likely to move apart than they are to remain a unit. If you are looking for a long-term connection or relationship, a compatibility reading is an important part of evaluating your future with someone and determining how likely you truly are to last.
Far from being a simple matter of comparing favorite colors or ideal cities, compatibility is better measured in deeply held values, ideologies, and perceptions. Evaluating compatibility (marriage-based or not) is usually not truly effective until some time has passed and effort has been invested in getting to know one another.
What is compatibility in a marriage?
In a marriage, compatibility is the ability of two people to come together and stay together. Although there are countless descriptions or definitions of what compatibility is, compatibility is partly the ability of two people to get along and communicate well. It involves more complicated and nuanced things, such as people’s values, belief systems, hopes for the relationship, and goals in life.
Although compatibility, love, and commitment do not necessarily preclude divorce. Compatibility tests, whether home marriage tests or more investigative evaluations conducted by a relationship counselor are a great stepping stone in evaluating compatibility. Still, to evaluate your compatibility in your relationship (and perhaps your upcoming marriage), you must ask yourself a few things. These include:
Compatibility in a marriage involves safety, shared values, shared goals, and the ability to see a future together. Although compatibility is not enough to ensure your relationship will not end in divorce, compatibility tests (whether conducted using a simple questionnaire like the one above or a more involved evaluation) can help determine how compatible you and your partner truly are.
How do you know you're not compatible with someone?
Compatibility can be evaluated in several ways, some of which are more highly valued among mental health professionals than others. What most mental health professionals and relationship counseling professionals agree on, however, is the importance of two people sharing the same values and beliefs. Although many romantic novels, TV shows, or movies will tout the romance of two different people with very different values coming together, these individuals are far more likely to break up than they are to craft a lasting relationship. If you truly believe that compatibility, marriage (compatibility is not always evaluated entirely for marriage), and love are important, you must also recognize the value of sharing similar core beliefs and values.
If you are in a relationship and you are eager to find out if you are not compatible with your partner, asking yourself the following questions:
Should you marry for love or compatibility?
Ideally, you should marry both. Though the term “compatibility” might not sound sexy or spontaneous, the truth is that most people’s instincts encourage them to seek out people with whom they are compatible rather than people they are highly unlikely to mesh well. Successful marriages depend on a host of factors, some of them out of two marriage partners’ control, but marrying someone in the presence of both love and compatibility will offer the best chances of seeing a marriage through to its end and finding yourself happy with your partner in the process.