How To Know If Your Relationship Is Over, Or Should Be

Updated April 4, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Sometimes a relationship goes on longer than it should. Breaking up is never easy, but it can be the right thing to do if your relationship is over in all ways except for saying the words. If you feel like your relationship is just hanging on by habit, take a look at these signs. They can help you to know if a relationship is over or should be.

Here’s how to know if your relationship is over

How to identify a broken relationship? There are certain signs that love is extinguished from your partnership. When these signs show up, there are three options. You can try to improve the relationship to get the love back. You can coast along, as is, with a less-than-happy partnership. Or you can end the relationship. Look out for these signs to know if it’s time to make a decision.

Your communication is perfunctory or nonexistent

Figuring out if a relationship should end is hard

Couples close to each other talk to each other about how their day went and their hopes. They complement each other and make plans to do enjoyable activities together.

One of the most important things to understand is that communication and relationships go hand in hand. Do you still enjoy talking to your partner? Do you still wish to fulfill that one year relationship checklist with your partner? If not, there can be problems with communication. Communication is the lifeblood that keeps relationships together and ensures that both parties remain on the same page. This doesn’t mean that you and your partner should never have time for yourselves or never be away from each other. However, if communicating with your significant other feels like pulling teeth, or if you dread having a conversation with them altogether, then this might be a sign that it’s time to call it quits on your partnership.

You don’t enjoy sex together

All relationships go through different phases in the amount of sex you have. But if you have stopped having sex, or the sex feels like you’re just going through the motions with no connection or enjoyment, then that signals a problem.

Suppose you and your partner have always had low sex drives or low desire, which isn’t an important part of your emotional connection. Substitute sex with any intimate activity the two of you previously enjoyed together. Many couples find an intimate connection through cuddling on the couch beneath a blanket with a good movie on. A vulnerable conversation over hopes and fears can also build intimacy without sex.

Many people don’t realize this, but being intimate (whether it’s sexual or emotional intimacy) with your partner is extremely significant. If both of you aren’t into the same things or otherwise fail to enjoy intimacy with one another, this can be problematic, especially later on down the line. This doesn’t mean that you and your significant other won’t ever have issues in the bedroom; however, the willingness to get through these issues and keep moving forward is what will ultimately matter and make the most difference in the end. If you and your partner struggle with maintaining intimacy and sexual compatibility, this may indicate a relationship that is no more.

Your partner makes you feel worse about yourself

Your partner should support you in being your best self. And you should do the same for them. If, instead, your partner’s comments and behaviors constantly make you feel worse about yourself, their behavior can erode the love you feel. No one should tolerate a partner making their self-esteem feel lower. This is one of the red flags if your question is "How to tell if the relationship is over on my own?"

If you see these signs in your relationship, you need to make a decision. You can seek relationship counseling to try to address these issues and rebuild a connection. Or you can inform your partner that the relationship is over. Avoiding a decision and just continuing in an unhappy partnership will not make either of you any happier.

The way your partner makes you feel about yourself indicates who they are and how they feel about you as an individual. As previously stated, a significant other who truly loves and cares for you will support you in being the absolute best version of yourself. This doesn’t mean tearing you down, constantly hurting your feelings, or otherwise causing you to feel inferior. Furthermore, you should value yourself enough not to remain with a partner who is not good for you. The right relationship will inspire and uplift you as an individual, not cause you to question who you are or what you’re worth constantly.

You no longer wish to remain faithful

Temptation is a part of life. Just because you’re in a relationship with someone does not mean that you will cease to notice other human beings who are attractive in your eyes. However, there’s a difference between finding someone to be attractive versus actually acting on this attraction. When you are in a relationship, you should respect your partner and your union enough not to break the promise of fidelity. The temptation is everywhere, but the willingness to resist this feeling and remain true to what you already have is paramount.

If you find yourself in a situation where you do not wish to resist temptation and want to break the promise of fidelity to your partner, then this might be a sign of a relationship that has run its course. The fact of the matter is that trust is the glue that holds a relationship together, even when other aspects of the union may be in peril. If you are experiencing the genuine desire to break the bond of trust and fidelity between you and your significant other, then your relationship has likely come to an end.

Cheating is extremely destructive towards relationships, and it is one of the most common reasons for breakups and divorces. However, infidelity is largely symptomatic, which means that there are typically much larger underlying issues than sexual attraction. Purely sexual motives account for only 20% of infidelity. Cheating is not a necessity, and it can be avoided. Counseling is always available for couples that are willing to work. For irreparable relationships, it is often best to pursue a breakup or divorce before cheating because both partners will suffer less.

Staying in for fear

One of the big reasons people stay in relationships past the time it’s over is that they are afraid of being alone. And the reason that being with someone, even someone who makes them miserable, is better than being without anyone at all. The truth is that you will be much happier getting out of such a partnership. Suppose you can’t find the reason that you originally love each other, free yourself and them to pursue individual happiness. Through this freedom, you can find a compatible partner.

The bases in a relationship should never include fear. The right relationships should be grounded in love, mutual respect, communication, and trust. Fear is the opposite of what real relationships are about, and fear does not lead you to be your best self or enjoying everything that life has to offer. It’s OK to be alone sometimes, and it’s OK to know when to say goodbye.

If you are in a relationship because you’re afraid of your partner or how they will react if you leave, this is also very dangerous. If you feel as though you will be put in danger if you attempt to remove yourself from a relationship, this is imminent grounds for contracting authorities and getting as far away as possible.

Dreading each other’s presence

If you and your partner find yourselves dreading the presence of one another, then this is a surefire sign that the relationship has come to an end. Even when you and your significant other are going through a rough patch, you should still want to be around one another and fix whatever issues you may be dealing with. Finding the right fix might not be the easiest endeavor in the world, but if you and your partner feel as though it’s worth it, that’s when you know the relationship is still alive and has a chance to be saved.

Resentment/contempt for one another

A relationship is over for sure when you or your partner have reached the point of being resentful or contemptuous to one another. These types of feelings don’t develop overnight, but when they arise, this is usually a serious indicator that the relationship has been on a downward spiral for quite some time. No matter what you or your significant other are going through, rather individually or as a couple, you should never look down on one another or feel as though one person is too good for the other.

The truth of the matter is that people grow apart sometimes. This can happen for a variety of reasons but rarely do people remain cemented and never change. One would hope that people in relationships could grow together, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes people grow apart, and that’s not always a bad thing. It simply means that there is something better for each person down the road. If you or your partner find yourselves feeling resentful or harboring disdain towards one another, then you may both be better suited in partnerships with other people.

Accepting outside help from others

For example, talking to your loved ones can be helpful, but it may be difficult (if not impossible) for them to give you unbiased advice. A friend or family may have their own idea about what’s best for you, but is it truly what you want? Having a licensed counselor as part of your support network can give you mental clarity and help you find the answers you’re looking for. In fact, research shows that speaking with a licensed counselor helps couples regain happiness in their relationships. If you think you may want to end your relationship instead, you can still benefit from speaking with an unbiased professional who can help you determine the safest and healthiest path forward.Realizing that your relationship might be over can be challenging. It’s not always the easiest thing in the world, but knowing that something better awaits you later down the line can be comforting. Alternatively, realizing that you want to make your current relationship work can be encouraging, but what if you’re unsure how to get there? This is certainly an area where having the necessary support network can make a difference.

This is where online counseling services like Regain offer solutions. Below are some reviews of Regain counselors from people who have found it helpful while dealing with troubled relationships.

Counselor reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

Figuring out if a relationship should end is hard


Deciding if your relationship is over or if it should be is no easy task. It can be very confusing emotionally because your feelings are likely muddled and mixed. With the help of the right licensed counselor, they can help you work through the emotions to find the facts. Most of the time, a counselor cannot give you a definitive answer. Instead, they can help you work through your emotions to find the best answer for yourself. The counselors at Regain can help you retake the lead in your life. No matter what you're experiencing, you can move forward to truly fulfilling relationships with the right tools.

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